LotR3-RotK-Seq02

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"Eppur si muove" ("And yet it does move") - attributed to Galileo Galile.


Aragorn, Gandalf, Gimli and Legolas accompany the Rohirrim, or at least Théoden and Éomer, through the Fangorn Forest Traveling Road Show. One must assume that they are riding through trees that previously weren’t there, as I can’t recall the Uruks marching towards Helm’s Deep through a forest. The trees therein are twisted and gnarled; just what one would expect of Fangorn. An overview shot shows that the trees end at the Rim of Isengard. We see the battered remains of Saruman’s fortress in the light of day as the Riders approach what remains of the gate of Isengard.

Merry and Pippin are just where we’d left them, amidst the spoils of armies enjoying a bit of flotsam and jetsam. Smoking! Hammer and tongs! What would Ofcom think about that? Anyway, we learn that these two hobbits are back to their Shire selves, laughing and bragging about sloth. They see and then greet their friends with a bit of brag and bravado. Gimli’s salivating over salted pork makes one wonder what poor provender was to be had at Helm’s Deep. Cram?

The party wades the waters of Orthanc while Gandalf is greeted by Treebeard. We learn that Gandalf is young in comparison, and that Treebeard is no match for the wizard closeted within Orthanc. Gandalf recommends caution, and Gimli wants a head (“I wanna be like Aragorn!”). In PJ’s version it’s not the voice of Saruman that Gandalf fears (not that, as the White, he did) but that it’s the silence of Saruman that gives him the willies. We need Saruman? Gandalf the weak and worried? As Bêthberry would say, “Bah!” The Grey Pilgrim seems to have much to unsay since his last visit, when he considered more his own counsel than that of the silver-tongued Saruman’s. Must have left his larger-sized boots back in Moria.

A voice is heard, and we know that Saruman has come. Saruman, straight from the books, sues for peace with King Théoden. Though I love the words uttered, and the actors do a fine job, I think that the scene would benefit if Bernard Hill were to hesitate before answering - a dramatic pause to enhance the gibbets. Aragorn looks on as Théoden answers, almost as if he is above such mortals, and awaits Saruman’s reply.

Also note that the score when Théoden talks is a little too ‘tense.’ It’s not like the King is going to shoot a fireball from his sword or something. For once, the music does not enhance the scene. Saruman, wordsmith that he is, can only answer King Théoden with “Dotard.” Wow! “Rohirrim, retreat at once to Dunharrow! All is lost. Build a pyre for me and my sister-son. He called me a dotard...I think that I’m going to swoon.”

The next words from the Voice are silly and seem to have been thrown in to make RotK closer to the text or something. Note that the overview shots show that Saruman is alone on the tower top. Anyone spot a staircase? Gandalf starts begging for information, and Saruman brings forth the Google-stone, sometimes referred to as a palantir. Note that, if it functions as it did in FotR, then Sauron gets an Eye-full as Saruman holds it aloft. Anyway, Saruman starts blathering about festerings only seen by the Eye, and I’m lost. His ramblings are without information, telling me (and hopefully Gandalf) nothing that we don’t already know. Gandalf, either getting some premonition or feeling the need to be a little closer to his former supervisor, moves Shadowfax a few steps towards the tower and, consequently, further away from his less then magical companions. Saruman spouts some scorn at ‘Gorn, who seems to have a surfer ‘whatever!’ expression on his face. It’s almost like Viggo is thinking, “when will that old man shut up? I want to get back to either a Liv or action scene.” Rambling yet more, Saruman picks more bones with Gandalf, stating that Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those whom he loves, just like we saw on the Bridge at Khazad-dûm. Saruman professes knowledge of, seemingly, Frodo, and one would think that if Saruman knows about Frodo’s quest, then so does Sauron. Or not.

Gimli, like me, has heard enough and suggests that someone “stick an arrow in his gob.” Gob is an interesting word. Does it mean ‘mouth?’ Gandalf begs, yet again, for Saruman to come down. How codependent is the former Grey Pilgrim? Saruman abuses him, and he still wants a pat on the head. Maybe the person directing the scene got it wrong; PJ wanted for Gandalf to say, “Jump!” not, “Come down.”

Finally Saruman has had enough and shoots a fireball from his staff at Gandalf. As I’ve stated previously, what a handy spell to have in hand if, say, a bunch of creatures composed of wood were to show up at your door. But Gandalf is unscathed; wrestling with Balrogs makes one a little resistant to flame. If only his spirit were as fireproof.

Gandalf breaks Saruman’s staff, which we could have done five minutes ago, but… Who’s this? All of that yelling has woken poor Grima, who must have taken the elevator/lift to the top. Théoden spots his old counselor, and asks him to come down. How anyone sees Grima up there is a mystery. Anyway, Saruman will not let his new companion go easily, and finally answers Théoden in fashion. The King is more wounded by these new words, yet still asks for Grima to leave the old coot. Saruman will have some victory here, however small, and so slaps down poor Grima like he’s been mentally slapping poor Gandalf. That was heavy-handed, as the cur drops like a stone. It’s a good thing that Saruman only hit Gandalf the Grey with the force of his staff in FotR.

Did my DVD just skip or did Gandalf just repeat himself? Wonderful dialogue; so much so that we have to repeat it. “Please, oh pretty please Saruman, please tell me what you know.” Saruman, committing the oft-cited Pjism, tells Gandalf to remove his guard then Saruman will spill the beans. This makes no sense, as to me there is no reason for Saruman to leave – and if the Ents really wanted to kill the Treeslayer, well, they and the one-stone one-kill hobbits had plenty of chances. Grima, discovers that, in the few days that he’s been with Saruman that he’s a lousy roommate, and so decides to ventilate him. Gandalf, seeing the other maia being stabbed (great eyesight that, as Grima is behind Saruman, and even if Saruman stood on the very edge of the tower, you’d still have a hard time understanding what was happening), makes some kind of face that almost seems ‘happy.’ Question: is Saruman suddenly mortal due to the loss of his staff?

Legolas, that crusader for justice, takes it upon himself to kill Grima for stabbing Saruman. And his arrow, of course, is lethal. It would have been nice to see such bowmanship when an Uruk ran towards the Helm’s Deep wall with a magical torch, but I guess that you can’t have everything. If you notice where the arrow hits Grima – just below the heart – you realize that it’s an even more incredible shot as it misses Saruman and hits Grima just behind him. Saruman, being stabbed in the back, now spins then falls Arda-ward. Grima jumping on his back didn’t make him fall; Grima stabbing him also didn’t push him over. Grima being shot and falling backward (no chance, I guess to clutch at anything, like a white wizard standing in front of you), still does nothing, but then, as if to get one last look at the dying Grima ("Et tu, Grima?"), Saruman turns 180 degrees and falls backwards. Spinning as he falls, Saruman lands right on the Spiky Wheel of Much Conjecture (remember those days?).

It is assumed, at least by me, that this scene is PJ’s nod to Galileo Galilei – which will fall faster, a destaffed wizard or a magical sphere?

Gandalf and those on the ground are unconcerned with the passing of the other wizard. With the except of a hobbit grimace at the thud, no one cares that one once so mighty has, well, fallen. I would have least searched Saruman’s pocketses for change. Or Keys. But Gandalf, having finished with this worry, immediately moves on to his next panic attack. He tells King Théoden to get on the horn and let everyone know that Sauron will attack soon, but where? Gondor? Bree? Moria? Where? Where will the heavy hand of Mordor fall?

I think that Gandalf’s fall in Moria jogged his brain a bit. Even if Sauron intended on attacking the Havens, just how would he get there? He would either cross at Osgiliath or march north from the Black Gate, and surely someone - an Ithilien or Galadhrim scout - would see his legions coming. If Gandalf were really concerned, he’d ask Aragorn to take a dive over the Rauros, and have Brego find him below. This, unlike other methods, is the tried and true method of finding the enemy on the march.

While we mull that over, Saruman takes an inverted dip on the wheel. Exactly what was that wheel supposed to be for in the first place? And note that the palantir hits a floor, but the wheel with Saruman attached continues to spin, so one must assume that below the wheel there is a hole or opening.

Treebeard, looking very CG, does his best at a one-liner, then continues to ramble about trees returning to Isengard. Nothing about the passing of Saruman. A maia dies…whatever. Pippin recovers the palantir, and is not commended for the act. I guess everyone else knew that you were supposed to let such things lie. Etiquette. Gandalf gives him a parting dirty look, one that he should have used with Saruman, but since his fall in Moria, Gandalf has become increasingly fearful and so more apt to pick on the weak (okay, so he did attack the Uruks at Helm’s Deep, but that could have been at Shadowfax’s prompting.).

Six horses cross the plains on the way back to Edoras, which is no worse for wear. PJ nixed the warg attack of Meduseld, thankfully. The lovely Éowyn kneels and gives a cup to her uncle and King. The King toasts the dead and dearly departed. Think that he may have forgotten to mention those well-dressed chaps that seemed to have all perished in the defense of men. Where was the burial scene of Haldir? No time for that, but we do have time for a drinking scene.

Legolas and Gimli begin to participate in a drinking game after Éomer explains the rules. Gimli takes to it like a hog to mud, and his table manners are pretty porcine and his behavior asinine. Éowyn brings a cup to that other King guy, Aragorn, and makes a pass for his attention/affections. At least her draughts are better than her stews. Again she looks for that sparkle in his eyes; again he walks away in silence. Uncle Théoden states that Aragorn is an honorable man…I’ll have to look that word up in the dictionary to see if there’s anything about killing ambassadors. Théoden, like all men in Eowyn’s life, confuses her more. It’s wasn’t me that saved the day, he says, then King Théoden says something like, “Scratch that.” Éowyn, as the scene ends, appears bewildered.

Back to the game: Gimli becomes more and more the buffoon and it’s over the top stupid as he loses to the Elf, who feels almost no affect from the alcohol. Merry and Pippin rescue us with a song and dance on a tabletop. Pippin comes up short when he looks at Gandalf. Something is afoot, I guess, and soon we’ll learn what that is.

Aragorn and Gandalf discuss Frodo. It’s almost like they searched the newspaper for news. Who else knows (besides Sauron, that is) the status of the Ringbearer? If Gandalf doesn’t know the whereabouts or condition of Frodo, does anyone? Gandalf, getting more anxious as the film goes, is reassured by Aragorn that all is still well. Gandalf feels it in his heart that Frodo is yet uncaught and unconquered. Lucky for Gandalf that Aragorn is there to prop him up.

Next week we’ll see if Gandalf heart truly measures Frodo’s condition.