Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
01-03-2004, 10:13 PM | #1 |
Haunting Spirit
|
LOTR murphy's laws
I was thinking of a few while surfing around here.
Note:A murphy's law is not neccesarily "what can go wrong WILL go wrong" all the time. Tips for surviving in Middle Earth combat: Never fight to protect someone (Boromir) Never ride out first to scout Never defend the outer wall Always stay on the edges if you are on the wall Never fight on the front lines Your armor will give you no protectin whatsoever. post your own! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
__________________
"Ni"-the knights who say "Ni!" |
01-04-2004, 10:20 AM | #2 |
Tyrannus Incorporalis
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: the North
Posts: 833
|
Here is an anti-Murphy's Law:
__________________
...where the instrument of intelligence is added to brute power and evil will, mankind is powerless in its own defence. |
01-04-2004, 11:25 AM | #3 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Dol Amroth
Posts: 94
|
Never rely on a Steward - Denethor
Woman can fight in battles - Eowyn
__________________
I go to my fathers. And even in their mighty company I shall not now be ashamed. I felled the black serpent. A grim morn, and a glad day, and a golden sunset! |
01-04-2004, 09:24 PM | #4 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
It's a good idea to bring an umbrella to any major battle. (Helm's Deep)
__________________
Don't let me die! |
01-04-2004, 09:33 PM | #5 |
Haunting Spirit
|
if you have a shield, the one time you don't have it is the time you get shot.
gunpowder will always work, even if it's pouring outside. the good guys are always outnumbered. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
__________________
"Ni"-the knights who say "Ni!" |
01-04-2004, 10:02 PM | #6 |
Stormdancer of Doom
|
If you're Gondorian, your battle-leader is the guy with detailed and expensive armor but no helmet.
Rohirrim leaders somehow manage to remember their helmets. But Rohirrim don't use their shields when charging ranks of archers. Nobody knows why.
__________________
...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve. |
01-04-2004, 10:25 PM | #7 | |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
|
Quote:
__________________
Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
|
01-05-2004, 10:34 AM | #8 |
Deathless Sun
|
~ Never travel with a small, shrunken, ex-Hobbit with alopecia, a pronounced split personality, and extreme possessiveness, for you are sure to get betrayed or get your finger bitten off.
~ Never listen to someone who looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy with a toupee *coughcoughGrimacoughcough* ~ Never listen to your father (or uncle) once he starts looking like an albino dwarf who spent five years pickling in the Dead Marshes *coughcoughTheodredorEomercoughcough*
__________________
But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fėanor, and there he slew Finwė King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwė alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark. |
01-05-2004, 02:10 PM | #9 | |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Valinor
Posts: 97
|
Quote:
__________________
Above all shadows rides the Sun and Stars forever dwell: I will not say the Day is done, nor bid the Stars farewell. -- Samwise Gamgee |
|
01-07-2004, 09:02 PM | #10 |
Registered User
|
Never stand on a bridge and watch a balrog fall. Move out of the way!
Always listen to Sam. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] |
01-09-2004, 07:11 AM | #11 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Shadow Gallery
Posts: 276
|
Rule #1: Legolas can kill anything, no matter how large or far away, provided he has his bow and arrow, a piece of rope, or an elven shield.
Rule #2: Aragorn can survive any event or kill anything, provided he has his sword. But don't shake hands with him unless you want to be cleaning blood out from under your fingernails for three weeks afterward. Rule #3: Don't EVER try and outwit Samwise Gamgee in a muttered one-liner contest. Believe me, you'll lose. Rule #4: The Nazgul are really not all that dangerous. Just stand still- they'll lose you if you don't move.
__________________
The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." |
01-09-2004, 09:58 AM | #12 |
Wight
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Behind you, counting to 3
Posts: 234
|
Go ahead - stab a Nazgul, it'll only sting for an hour and then you'll be right back in the fight.
Remember that Helm's Deep incident Legolas? Never buy arrows from the lowest bidder. Leave that to the army. Don't get to close to the orcs - the ground might suddenly dissappear. Try to avoid the Nazgul rollar coaster. A word of advice Pippin, large heavy things falling large distances make loud noises when they reach their destination. Now the bad guys know where you are and worse, Gandalf's ****ed. <font size=1 color=339966>[ 11:00 AM January 09, 2004: Message edited by: Carrūn ]
__________________
"Dic, hospes, Spartae, nos te hic vidisse iacentes dum sanctis patriae legibus obsequimur." |
01-09-2004, 10:45 AM | #13 |
Stormdancer of Doom
|
When travelling from Rivendell to Rauros, Legolas' misgivings, funny feelings and hunches will be correct EVERY time-- but no one will EVER listen to him. "Legolassandra."
__________________
...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve. |
01-12-2004, 06:58 PM | #14 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
|
Actually, the original Murphy's Laws pretty much have M-e covered as well.
Nothing is as easy as it looks. Everything takes longer than you think. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. *coughnarsilcough* There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you and miss. But we can always add some. The closer you are to danger, the further you are from harm *winks* If you think something is impossible, it will be done.
__________________
Athrabeth *is still doing the wave for Boromir the Disco-King* Oh...and call me Morgy! |
01-13-2004, 05:56 PM | #15 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: May 2003
Location: my TARDIS!
Posts: 288
|
Standing on a high place when there are fell beasts flying around is not exactly the best option..
|
01-13-2004, 07:54 PM | #16 |
Deathless Sun
|
Never try to fight with large, black, flappy creatures who speak in shrieks that sound like fingernails being drawn across a blackboard.
__________________
But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fėanor, and there he slew Finwė King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwė alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark. |
01-15-2004, 11:03 AM | #17 |
Pile O'Bones
|
The only way to avoid being seen by the Lighthouse of Mordor is either to hide behind a clump of dirt or do a drunken 'where-did-my-knees-go?' fall.
Regardless of how bad things look in a battle, the Eagles will show up to save the day.
__________________
This is Eruhen version 2.0////// "The Gospels contain a fairy-story, or a story of a larger kind which embraces all the essence of fairy-stories." -- J.R.R. Tolkien, 'On Fairy-Stories' |
01-20-2004, 08:03 AM | #18 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: perth, west australia
Posts: 71
|
No matter how much effort goes into making a film version of LotR, there will always be a group of Tolkien purists preparing to physically attack the director with hardback copies of HoME, chanting, "It's Just Not Canon. It's Just Not Canon. It's Just Not Canon. Ride now, ride to the studios! Death!"
The crazier one's plan of action is, the more it will be considered brilliant by one's peers, and the more likely it is to succeed. Conversely, one should never follow conventional wisdom.
__________________
"Do you think I am trying to weave a spell? Perhaps I am; but remember your fairy tales. Spells are used for breaking enchantments as well as inducing them. And you and I have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness..." - C.S. Lewis |
|
|