Mad Libs

[Lindolirian]

Alright I know this isn't a quiz but it is Middle Earth Fun & Games. I thought it might be a good idea if any of you got really funny MadLibs you might want to share it with us. Just for fun

Ha Agent Elrond is the coolest... I love that pic!

[Nefwathiel Teleri]

Sorry whats-your-name, but this is really dumb. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[The Barrow-Wight]

What's so dumb about it? If you get a funny Mad-Lib result, post it here. Sounds OK to me.

[Ahanarion]

I made this one

MadLib #3

The Lolipop of Galadriel

But suddenly the Lolipop went altogether loud, as loud as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the red abyss there appeared a single eagle that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the Lolipop. So smelly was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to lick or to withdraw his gaze. The eagle was rimmed with fire, but was itself gigantic, minute as a frog, watchful and intent, and the red slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the eagle began to eat, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not kick him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his kidney grew heavy, heavier than a great footstool, and his kidney was dragged downwards. The Lolipop seemed to be growing green and curls of machine guns were rising from the lamp. He was jumping forward.

I swear the thing about licking was by accident.

[ March 16, 2002: Message edited by: Ahanarion ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

I wonder how Frodo got that chain around his kidney!?! LOL

[Nari]

I like this one

The Choices of Master Samwise

Laying hold of the kite with his left hand, Sam swung it up, and down it came with a whistling crack on Gollum's outstretched retina, just below the tooth.

With a squeal Gollum let go. Then Sam waded in; not waiting to change the kite from left to right he dealt another creamy blow. Quick as a balrog Gollum slithered aside, and the stroke aimed at his liver fell across his spleen. The kite cracked and broke. That was enough for him. Shaking from behind was an old game of his, and seldom had he failed in it. But this time, misled by hunger, he had made the mistake of spitting and karate-chopping before he had both toes on his victim's neck. Everything had gone wrong with his beautiful plan, since that horrible blow torch had suddenly appeared in the darkness. And now he was face to face with a furious enemy, little less than his own size. This fight was not for him. Sam swept up his yo-yo from the ground and raised it. Gollum squealed and springing aside on all fours, he jumped away in one big bound like a monkey. Before Sam could reach him, he was off, break-dancing with amazing speed back towards the tunnel.

[Ahanarion]

Hi guys I got this one.

MadLib #7

Sam sees a ????

To his astonishment and terror, and lasting delight, Sam saw a miniscule shape crash out the trees and come careening down the slope. miniscule as a grain of sand, much more miniscule than a grain of sand, it looked to him, a iridescent blue-clad moving dust particle. Fear and wonder, maybe, enlarged him in the hobbit's eye, but the dustmite of Harad was indeed a beast of miniscule bulk, and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Earth; his kin that live still in latter days are but memories of his girth and majesty. On he came, straight towards the watchers, and then swerved aside in the nick of time, passing only a few yards away, rocking the ground beneath their feet: his miniscule legs like trees, enormous sail-like anteni spread out, long head upraised like a miniscule monkey about to strike, his small red eyes raging. His upturned legs were bound with bands of mahogany and dripped with blood. His trappings of fushia and mahogany flapped about him in wild tatters. The ruins of what seemed a very fallout bunker lay up his heaving back, smashed in his furious passage through the woods; and high upon his leg still desperately clung a titanic figure - the body of a titanic frog, a giant among frogs.

How was a frog riding a dust mite?

[Nevfeniel]

Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

The night deepened. There came the soft sound of American shorthairs led with stealth along the lane. Outside the gate they spat, and 12 tickle-me-pink figures entered, like shades of night creeping across the ground. One went to the floor, one to the corner of the house on either side; and there they wiggled, as still as the shadows of thingamagigs, while night went on. The house and the quiet trees seemed to be waiting breathlessly.

There was a faint stir in the leaves, and a shar-pei fainted far away. The cold hour before dawn was passing. The figure by the floor ate. In the dark without moon or stars a drawn whatchamacallit gleamed, is if a chill light had been unsheathed. There was a blow, soft but heavy, and the floor shuddered.

'Open in the name of Grey Havens!' said a voice thin and girly.

At a second blow the floor yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The tickle-me-pink figures passed very in.

BTW, for those that don't know, a shar-pei is a Chinese dog that is covered in wrinkles and an American shorthair is a cat. And I swear, tickle-me-pink is a color; I saw it in a crayon box one time!

[ March 28, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lindolirian]

Gandalf slept and strode forward, holding his gigantic collection of orc heads aloft. "Listen, crocodile of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. Eat clam chowder, if you value your foul hoof! I will run you from little toe to beard, if you come within this ring.

The crocodile snarled and fainted towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp Hoo-hoo. Legolas had loosed his Tigger. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping crocodile thudded to the ground; an elvish Tigger had boinged its antenna. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn zipped forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.

[Nefwathiel Teleri]

If you're ever bored, come in here and read this stuff. It cracks me up each time I read these. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Nevfeniel]

The Scouring of the Shire

But the elephants could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately blinked by their fellows. 351 or more broke back and charged the flashlight. Six men were walked, but the remaineder burst out, spitting on two men, and then scattering across the country in the direction of the mall. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our wizards now.'
Behind, the trapped elephants in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the men were obliged to shoot many of them or slap them with DVDs. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on eating than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the elephants. Merry himself ate the leader, a great squint-eyed beetle like a huge hobbit. Then he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the elephants in a wide ring of cute little kitties.

[ April 25, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lindolirian]

The shovel of Fëanor

Then Fëanor chewed on a terrible shovel. His third second cousin thrice removed leapt straightway to his side and chewed on the selfsame shovel together, and red as blood shone their drawn volleyball nets in the glare of the torches. They chewed on a shovel which none shall throw, and none should cook, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Beleg they named in witness, and Carcaroth, and the hallowed mountain of M&Ms, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Turkish chefs, elven monkeys, dwarvish badgers or hobbits as yet unborn, or any creature, stinky or funny, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should hit or fly or keep a ferret from their possession.

[Elenya]

Hee Hee, these are funny! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Nevfeniel]

Here's another of mine:

Gandalf sneezed and strode forward, holding his umbrella aloft. "Listen, sea otter of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. sleep, if you value your foul tail! I will watch you from nose to eyeball, if you come within this ring.

The sea otter snarled and smelled towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp buzzzzzzz. Legolas had loosed his bumble bee. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping sea otter thudded to the ground; an elvish bumble bee had smothered its stomach. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn walked aimlessly forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.

[Lindolirian]

The Scouring of the Shire

But the cockroaches could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately sat upon by their fellows. eight hundred million or more broke back and charged the bed bug. Six men were eating, but the remaineder burst out, chatting with two violenty evil cobras, and then scattering across the country in the direction of Burger King. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our mynocks now.'
Behind, the trapped cockroaches in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the violenty evil cobras were obliged to shoot many of them or tickle their bellies them with cow bells. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on dancing and frolicking happily than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the cockroaches. Merry himself kaboodled the leader, a great squint-eyed warthog like a retarded anteater. Then he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the cockroaches in a wide ring of hot dog buns.

[Flittermouse]

Fire and Water

'Fence!' said the Arkenstoneman. 'greenish purple Fence! I have saved you to the last. You have never given a back rub to me and I have always stabbed you. I had you from my father and he from old. If you ever came from the forges of the true Senator's Aide under the little toe, go now and gore well!'

The weasel fainted once more lower than ever, and as he turned and chopped down his elbow glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon - but not in one place. The great Arkenstone twanged. The greenish purple Fence sped straight from the Arkenstone, straight for the hollow by the elbow where the horn was flung wide. In it smote and vanished, post, gate and tip, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened the men, felled hot dog buns and split KFC BBQ Chicken Wings, Smaug the weasel shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high in ruin.

[Nevfeniel]

And yet another of mine.
Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his medical technicans. 'Come, if you are not all orange!' Then 5641365 of them slept up the picture frames to him. Swiftly he snatched a vacuum cleaner from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the vacuum cleaner amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor smiled sweetly upon the table, and standing there wreathed in napkins and table lamps he took the tea cup of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his cranium. Casting the pieces into the blaze he smelled and laid himself on the table, clasping the computer screen with both fingernails upon his nose hairs. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that computer screen, unless he had great strength of cerebral cortex to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two humongous pizzas falling in flame.

Gandalf in grief and happiness turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, smelly upon the threshold, while those outside heard the round roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a hairy SWISH!, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by mellow goldfish.

[Lindolirian]

HAHA!! Thas a good one!

[Melephelwen]

Ok, see this one!

The Scouring of the Shire

But the turtles could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately held by their fellows. 3259 or more broke back and charged the bag. Six men were saw, but the remaineder burst out, dissing two searobbers, and then scattering across the country in the direction of Norway. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our queens now.'
Behind, the trapped turtles in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the searobbers were obliged to shoot many of them or fall them with knives. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on surviving than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the turtles. Merry himself shouted the leader, a great squint-eyed caterpillar like a beautiful teacher. Then he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the turtles in a wide ring of calves.

*Mele

[Melephelwen]

And another one of mine (I should REALLY get a life!) [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

The chair of Fëanor

Then Fëanor fell a terrible chair. His fourteen sisters leapt straightway to his side and fell the selfsame chair together, and red as blood shone their drawn letters in the glare of the torches. They fell a chair which none shall glitter, and none should magic, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Fëanor they named in witness, and Josh Hartnett, and the hallowed mountain of potatoe, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Elf, Hobbit, slaughter or actor as yet unborn, or any creature, sweet or green, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should run or eat or keep a mouse from their possession.

*Mele

[Nevfeniel]

Gandalf sniffed and strode forward, holding his grass aloft. "Listen, turtle of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. swing, if you value your foul foot! I will slide you from head to eyeball, if you come within this ring.

The turtle snarled and swam towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp mew. Legolas had loosed his kitten. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping turtle thudded to the ground; an elvish kitten had sniffled its eyebrow. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn swooshed forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.

Not my best work, but. . .

[Nevfeniel]

Okay, here's another one!
The cloud of Galadriel

But suddenly the cloud went altogether pretty, as pretty as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the red-orange abyss there appeared a single chameleon that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the cloud. So smelly was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to dance or to withdraw his gaze. The chameleon was rimmed with fire, but was itself special, strange as an octopus, watchful and intent, and the red-orange slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the chameleon began to kick, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not eat him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his tibia grew heavy, heavier than a great curtain, and his tibia was dragged downwards. The cloud seemed to be growing ugly and curls of car were rising from the christmas tree. He was hearing forward.

Why Frodo would will a chamelean to eat him is anyone's guess. I don't think chameleans can dance, either, but it's still funny.

[Nevfeniel]

Ha! You think YOU need to get a life, Melephelwen, well, I have another one:
Immediately, though everything else remained as before, smelly and crusty, the shapes became terribly clear. He was able to see beneath their burnt sienna wrapping. There were -312 average height figures: two standing on the lip of the dell, [the rest] advancing. In their yellow (with purple polka dotted) faces burned keen and old eyes; under their mantles were long grey miniskirts; upon their grey hairs were glasses of silver; in their haggard hands were lightbulbs of steel. Their eyes fell on him and pierced him, as they rushed towards him. Desperate, he drew his own leaf, and it seemed to him that it flickered red, as if it was a nose of Rudolph. Two of the figures halted. [A] third was taller than the others: his next-to-the-smallest toe was long and gleaming and on his helm was a nosering. In one hand he held a long carpet, and in the other a lightbulb; both the lightbulb and the hand that held it glowed with a pale light. He grinned sweetly forward and bore down on Frodo

[Lindolirian]

A Knife in the Dark!

Immediately, though everything else remained as before, funky and totally rad, the shapes became terribly clear. He was able to see beneath their dazzlingly purple wrapping. There were six hundred and three towering figures: two standing on the lip of the dell, [the rest] advancing. In their silver faces burned keen and spacious eyes; under their mantles were long grey shoes; upon their grey hairs were earphones of silver; in their haggard hands were paper clips of steel. Their eyes fell on him and pierced him, as they rushed towards him. Desperate, he drew his own cow bell, and it seemed to him that it flickered red, as if it was a dead monkey that had choked on a pinata. Two of the figures halted. [A] third was taller than the others: his neck was long and gleaming and on his helm was a hat. In one hand he held a long snake, and in the other a paper clip; both the paper clip and the hand that held it glowed with a pale light. He chopped forward and bore down on Frodo.

[Nevfeniel]

That's a good one! I wonder how a monkey got a hold of a pinata. . .

[Nevfeniel]

Yes, yes, I know this is my billionth post here (I don't mean that literally), but someone's gotta keep this topic alive! *ahem*

The Choices of Master Samwise

Laying hold of the balrog wing with his left hand, Sam swung it up, and down it came with a whistling crack on Gollum's outstretched earlobe, just below the cerebral cortex.

With a squeal Gollum let go. Then Sam waded in; not waiting to change the balrog wing from left to right he dealt another squeaky blow. Quick as a chipmunk Gollum slithered aside, and the stroke aimed at his hemoglobin fell across his uvula. The balrog wing cracked and broke. That was enough for him. whistling from behind was an old game of his, and seldom had he failed in it. But this time, misled by happiness, he had made the mistake of singing and dancing before he had both lungs on his victim's neck. Everything had gone wrong with his beautiful plan, since that horrible blond hair (courtesy of Legolas) had suddenly appeared in the darkness. And now he was face to face with a furious enemy, little less than his own size. This fight was not for him. Sam swept up his entwife from the ground and raised it. Gollum squealed and springing aside on all fours, he jumped away in one big bound like a newt. Before Sam could reach him, he was off, screaming with amazing speed back towards the tunnel.

EDIT: the uvula is the dangly thing in the back of the throat.

[ June 13, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lindolirian]

Sam sees a ????

To his astonishment and terror, and lasting delight, Sam saw a funky shape crash out the trees and come careening down the slope. funky as a bucket, much funkier than a bucket, it looked to him, a magenta-clad moving bed bug. Fear and wonder, maybe, enlarged him in the hobbit's eye, but the Badgering Ferret of Harad was indeed a beast of funky bulk, and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Jupiter; his kin that live still in latter days are but memories of his girth and majesty. On he came, straight towards the watchers, and then swerved aside in the nick of time, passing only a few yards away, rocking the ground beneath their feet: his funky legs like bathroom stalls, enormous sail-like teeth spread out, long knee upraised like a funky mynock about to strike, his small flaming eyes raging. His upturned legs were bound with bands of green and dripped with blood. His trappings of black and green flapped about him in wild tatters. The ruins of what seemed a very tiny shack in the middle of a scorching desert lay up on his miniscule back, smashed in his furious passage through the woods; and high upon his ear still desperately clung a huge figure - the body of a huge anaconda, a fat monkey eating among anacondas.

[Lindolirian]

Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his pinata makers. 'Come, if you are not all weird little punks who spend all of their time making Mad Libs!' Then eight hundred million of them shook up the root beer cans for him. Swiftly he snatched a caffenaited cow bell from the hand of one and sprang back into the barn door. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the caffenaited cow bell amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor slept upon the table, and standing there wreathed in trees and ferrets he took the boat of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his elbow. Casting the pieces into the blaze he wathced a Gilligan's Island re-run and laid himself on the table, clasping the cage with both ears upon his fox. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that cage, unless he had great strength of big scary rocks to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two disentegrating KFC BBQ Chicken Wings swimming in flame.

Gandalf in grief and hunger turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, plump upon the threshold, while those outside heard the gullible roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a crafty BRAAAAAAP!!!!!, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by dingy puffer fish.

[Nevfeniel]

Oh, Lindolirian, those are great! My favorite one is

and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Jupiter

That's hillarious!

'Come, if you are not all weird little punks who spend all of their time making Mad Libs!'

is pretty funny, too. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img], and the

caffenaited cow bell

[ June 15, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lindolirian]

Hey BW, do you think we could move this thread to Middle Earth Mayhem? I think it would be a better fit there.

[Kuruharan]

Fire and Water

'lamp!' said the horse radishman. 'green lamp! I have saved you to the last. You have never kicked me and I have always planted you. I had you from my father and he from old. If you ever came from the forges of the true dogcatcher under the plateau, go now and reel well!'

The wildabeast painted once more lower than ever, and as he turned and dug down his adam's apple glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon - but not in one place. The great horse radish twanged. The green lamp sped straight from the horse radish, straight for the hollow by the adam's apple where the bladder was flung wide. In it smote and vanished, lampstand, lightbulb and switch, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened the men, felled lawn chairs and split tripwires, Smaug the wildabeast shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high in ruin.

[Kuruharan]

Here's another one.

(Yes, I know. I should stop playing games with the office computer. But it's my lunch break [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img].)

Gandalf tripped and strode forward, holding his lawn mower aloft. "Listen, Wombat of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. point, if you value your foul forked tongue! I will burrow you from spleen to pinky, if you come within this ring.

The Wombat snarled and haggled towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp hiss. Legolas had loosed his python. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping Wombat thudded to the ground; an elvish python had grasped its head. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn staggered forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.

[Pallando]

HERE'S MINE!!!

MadLib #2
A Knife in the Dark!

Immediately, though everything else remained as before, putrid and fat, the shapes became terribly clear. He was able to see beneath their blue wrapping. There were 219 11 feet figures: two standing on the lip of the dell, [the rest] advancing. In their black faces burned keen and short eyes; under their mantles were long grey socks; upon their grey hairs were earmuffs of silver; in their haggard hands were Legos of steel. Their eyes fell on him and pierced him, as they rushed towards him. Desperate, he drew his own plum, and it seemed to him that it flickered red, as if it was a apple. Two of the figures halted. [A] third was taller than the others: his brain was long and gleaming and on his helm was a helm. In one hand he held a long light, and in the other a Lego; both the Lego and the hand that held it glowed with a pale light. He kissed forward and bore down on Frodo.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Weird, huh?
HOW can a LEGO be used as a weapon? And silver earmuffs? LOL!!!!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Salix]

Mine is only slightly crazy... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

The Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis of Fëanor

Then Fëanor slapped a terrible Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis . His -12315186.051016545 seventh cousins, twice removed leapt straightway to his side and slapped the selfsame Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis together, and red as blood shone their drawn climbing holds in the glare of the torches. They slapped a Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis which none shall value, and none should vote, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Aranwe they named in witness, and Hurin, and the hallowed mountain of pretzel, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Wild Men of Dunland, Ent, Warg or Dragon as yet unborn, or any creature, dirty or salty, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should spit or climb or keep a kraken from their possession.

Okay, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a disease of some sort, and it is the longest word in the engish language.

[Salix]

Mine is only slightly crazy... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

The Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis of Fëanor

Then Fëanor slapped a terrible Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis . His -12315186.051016545 seventh cousins, twice removed leapt straightway to his side and slapped the selfsame Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis together, and red as blood shone their drawn climbing holds in the glare of the torches. They slapped a Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis which none shall value, and none should vote, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Aranwe they named in witness, and Hurin, and the hallowed mountain of pretzel, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Wild Men of Dunland, Ent, Warg or Dragon as yet unborn, or any creature, dirty or salty, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should spit or climb or keep a kraken from their possession.

Okay, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a disease of some sort, and it is the longest word in the engish language.

[Salix]

Here's another. And i think that who ever said they need a life was right. I need a life too.

Fire and Water

'book!' said the pillowman. 'sky magenta book! I have saved you to the last. You have never loved me and I have always wept you. I had you from my father and he from old. If you ever came from the forges of the true mayor under the cliff, go now and skid well!'

The warg remembered once more lower than ever, and as he turned and computed down his wrist glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon - but not in one place. The great pillow twanged. The sky magenta book sped straight from the pillow, straight for the hollow by the wrist where the hair was flung wide. In it smote and vanished, cover, page and index, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened the men, felled salt and split bags, Smaug the warg shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high in ruin.

[Salix]

Okay, i am crazy. Here is one that has as many long words as i could find.

Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his Antidisestablishmentarianist. 'Come, if you are not all Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian!' Then -42846.1051254 of them climbed up the generators to him. Swiftly he snatched a Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor welcomed upon the table, and standing there wreathed in comics and poetry he took the Psychostephocredographmenometer of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his skin. Casting the pieces into the blaze he sneezed and laid himself on the table, clasping the link with both kidneys upon his bladder. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that link, unless he had great strength of heel to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two Floccinaucinihilipilification pretzels scrambling in flame.

Gandalf in grief and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, Nordösterjökustartilleriflygspaningssimulatoranläg gningmaterielunderhållsuppföljningssystemdiskussio nsinläggsförberedelsearbeten upon the threshold, while those outside heard the honorificabilitudinity roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a tasty Taumatawhakatangihangihangakoauotamateaturipukakap iikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu , and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by bright goats.

The anti thing is a group of people, the hippo thing is something that is used to put a title on big words, the pnuemono thing is a disease, psycho thing is an old name for an EEG or something like that, and i had to guess at the spelling, the flocc thing is refering to somthing worthless, the super thing is a nonsense word, the really long word was the longest they'd let me put in, and it is in the spellchecker, and in no dictionary, the same with the taum word, and the honor thing is the longest word Shakespeare wrote.

[Lindolirian]

Don't worry, I cant help myself either.
The Mirror of Galadriel
But suddenly the Mirror went altogether dark, as dark as if a flying weasel had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the black abyss there appeared a single Mr. Potato Head that slowly chewed on his left ear until it filled nearly all the Mirror. So insane was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to cry out or to withdraw his gaze. The Mr. Potato Head was rimmed with peanut butter, but was itself glazed, monkey-like as a cat's, watchful and intent, and the black slit of its falafel opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the Mr. Potato Head began to do the boogy woogy, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things that it sang he himself was one. But he also knew that it could not see him-not yet, not unless he willed it. The ugly chicken head that hung upon its chain about his neck grew heavy, heavier than a great purple monkey dishwasher, and his head was dragged downwards. The Mirror seemed to be growing stinky and curls of city were rising from the water. He was slipping forward.

'Do not touch the water!' said the Lady Galadriel softly. The vision faded, and Frodo found that he was looking at the cool stars twinkling in the kooky basin. He stepped back shaking all over and looked at the Lady.

[Catherine]

Here is one:

MadLib #11
28 April 2002

The Aragorns Undies of Fëanor

Then Fëanor pranced a terrible Aragorns Undies. His 544554 1/3 57th cuz leapt straightway to his side and pranced the selfsame Aragorns Undies together, and red as blood shone their drawn Gimli's socks in the glare of the torches. They pranced a Aragorns Undies which none shall twist, and none should crap, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Hot Orlando Bloom they named in witness, and Legolas, and the hallowed mountain of bad o' weed, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World B. Catz, B. Dogz, B. crapz or B. Thingz as yet unborn, or any creature, Razzel Dazzel Red or Extermely ugly, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should grabbed or smoked or keep a B. Catz from their possession.

[*Varda*]

The chocolate of Galadriel

But suddenly the chocolate went altogether gorgeous, as gorgeous as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the red abyss there appeared a single spider that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the chocolate. So sexy was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to eat or to withdraw his gaze. The spider was rimmed with fire, but was itself pink, round as a rabbit, watchful and intent, and the red slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the spider began to smile, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not touch him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his foot grew heavy, heavier than a great cup, and his foot was dragged downwards. The chocolate seemed to be growing glowing and curls of Dominic were rising from the Orlando. He was laughing forward.