What do you assign to Orthanc?

[The Saucepan Man]

We have Mordor, where we may assign the things we hate. We have the Shire, a veritable repository of the things we love.

But what about the things that we hate to love? Or, more accurately, the things that we know we should hate, but which we secretly (or not so secretly) love?

Should they not be assigned to Orthanc? OK, I was inspired by the "rooting for the bad guys" thread. We know we should disapprove of Saruman. And yet it surely cannot be denied that he is a facinating character. Perhaps the most interesting "baddie" that Tolkien presents us with. Apart from Gollum, perhaps, but the "below Goblintown, the Misty Mountains" is rather too unspecific as a location.

And Saruman had his gulity pleasures too. The Halfling weed, for example.

So, I'll kick us off.

- Cigarettes (obviously)
- Big Brother (the reality show, not the Orwellian creation)
- Reality TV shows in general ...
- George W Bush (I know I should disapprove of him, but I can't help finding something endearing about him )
- Intolerance towards shtoopid people
- Intolerance towards people who dawdle (eg, the "zombie shuffle" in tube stations at rush hour)
- Checking the Barrow-Downs at work
- Playing Werewolf (and making lists pertaining thereto) at work.

OK, that's enough from me for now.

Let's hear those confessions ...

[Durelin]

Your hometown.

Cartoon shows like "Spongebob Squarepants." (The classics should just be a pleasure and not a guilty one. )

Taking part in too many roleplaying things at once and dividing your attention and then wearing yourself out...and then doing it all over again.

Procrastination.

[Bêthberry]

Oooh, great new scope for list-lovers.

CSI--Miami

happy hours at bars

the reports of all those mangy guys who claim to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby daughter

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Guilty pleasures, eh? What a fun idea, Saucy! I suspect guilty pleasures may tell us more about a person than outright hates/loves do...

*chocolates from Peter's Confiserie (the finest our town has to offer, and known much farther than only locally)
*nacho-flavored tortilla chips
*sudokus (good exercise for the brain, but what a time-waster!)
*lots and lots of fabrics (all eminently practical for new patchwork projects, of course, but I do have a suspicion that I can't possibly live long enough to sew them all into quilts!)

*Georgette Heyer novels used to be in that category for me, but after coming back to reread them, I've realized how excellently written they are and have stopped feeling guilty about them. Perhaps they should go to the Shire - I bet Hobbit ladies would love them!

[Lalwendë]

Meh.

I could fill up the whole thread...but for now...

I assign cars. I do not like 4x4s, these are merely expensive vans unless they are upper crust Land Rovers. No, I like sports cars such as the the Aston Martin Vantage; I like 70s cars like the Ford Cortina seen on Life On Mars (that car is seriously cool), or the purple Capri that my mother had; I love retro cars such as the Anglia; I love hot hatches like Golf Gti Mk I, and I also like chavved up, modded cars as they amuse me. I even had one once, a Ford with a full body kit, spoilers, loud stereo, the lot. Spotty oiks would stop and look at it admiringly. Strange really, as I'm always ranting about lazy people who don't catch the bus to work! I also like Top Gear now it's become some laddy humour programme.

I assign gadgets. Not for me living offline without electricity, oh no. I'm what they call an early adopter because I love my toys. I have to be surgically removed from my Zen M:Vision, and the new Nintendo DS is becoming as addictive. I've had Sky digital for 9 years - 1,000 channels of utter tripe but I love it. I have a sincere addiction to The Sims. Technology is awesome. Except for sat nav, that's naff for an expert map reader.

Tobacco is the nectar of the gods. Except I'm cutting down with a view to cutting it out.

I assign daytime TV. Trisha especially, and Jerry Springer. And all those property shows. Richard & Judy. Paul O'Grady. Countdown.

I assign the following juxtaposition of sentences:

Originally Posted by SpM

- George W Bush (I know I should disapprove of him, but I can't help finding something endearing about him )
- Intolerance towards shtoopid people

Heh, heheh....

And laughing evilly.

[ninja91]

Runescape.

I have asked everyone I know to kidnap me for a year if they see me with World of Warcraft. I have made a vow not to touch that game.

[The Saucepan Man]

I assign the following juxtaposition of sentences:

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpM
- George W Bush (I know I should disapprove of him, but I can't help finding something endearing about him )
- Intolerance towards shtoopid people


Heh, heheh....

Hehe, I spotted that seeming inconsistency just after I posted.

Actually, I think that Bush is a lot less stupid than popular opinion would have it. Although there is still an inconsistency here, since seeming stupidity is part of what endears him to me ...

Anyway, this issue is probably veering into areas which are probably best left alone in a Downs discussion. Suffice it to say that, by "shtoopid" people, I meant that everyday, mundane stupidity which we come across in our daily lives.

[Elmo]

The Sun

Irish 'Rebel' Music (Hey it's catchy alright)

Tony Blair (He has done at lot of good stuff you know...)

'California' by Phantom Planet (California, here we come...)

Scottish independence

Lord of the Rings Messageboards

[Mithalwen]

Jeremy Clarkson. I love TopGear and all its presenters - the Hamster is second only to Jon Stewart in my pantheon of small but perfectly formed adorable men on television and James May may be a terrible fusspot but he is erudite and proves that the harpsichord and the internal combustion engine are not incompatible interests .... but theoretically Jeremy Clarkson represents so many things I hate .. but I think he is brilliant....

[Lalwendë]

I'll second that one. Why is he so funny?!

Even the residents of Rotherham agreed with what he said about the town!

I assign John Prescott. He's not popular with the press but his Yorkshire "I call a spade a spade" approach always raises a smile in our house, especially when decking egg-toting Welsh farmers with mullets.

In fact, I assign Yorkshire to Orthanc. It cannot possibly go to The Shire or I would be hung for being a traitor. But you've got to admire that inherent sarcasm, cynicism and mean-ness.

*waits for davem to see this and say something sarcastic*

I also assign typos involving the word Shire and the letter t. I'm surprised I've picked up on this regular mistake so far...

[Volo]

Pessimism. That's a bad habit if any.

[The Sixth Wizard]

The Barrow-Downs! Tolkien!

Western society. You know there are a heap of starving children in the world, you know there's global warming, you know there are people who end up in accounting, but you just can't turn off that air-conditioner or stop using a gazillion litres of water a day...

[Mithalwen]

Toothpaste. Obviously it can't go to Mordor since it has a vital function on a dental hygeine routine ( and yes to a certain American downer who once expressed disbelief on this subject, even English people do have these ), however it seems to be attracted by clothing especially dark clothing and won't sponge out necessitating irritating last minute changes ....

[Mattius]

Guilty pleasures huh? Now let me see...

-Prentending to like high culture and then watching people falling over on Youtube...

-Pulling a sicky and watching daytime TV especially The Jeremy Kyle show- "Scum!! You're scum- GET A JOB!" Hee hee

-Pretending to take the high ground in arguments about not being a fanboy/zealot, then in the same breath becoming said fanboy/zealot...

-KISS

-Dancing to Korn and Limp Bizkit in Corporation when I make out that I only like cool stuff (whilst drinking ludicrously cheap double vodka and red alerts)

-Ludicrously cheap double vodka and red alerts....

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Egocentrism. "Yes, I am actually arrogant enough to believe that I hate being sick, rodents, administrations, and the NCLB Act more than anybody else in the world."

Starbucks. Yep. I can watch them take over the world. Sure can. But when I'm on my way to a truly crushing class or work first thing in the morning and Jaime's working and I order a hazelnut latte, bring on the corporate stranglehold.

Or how about that hazelnut latte? Zilch nutritional value so it goes against my usual inclinations, but oh it tastes so good.

The smell of toxic fumes. Yes, I'm aware this isn't a good thing. But if it's gasoline, it reminds me of spending a childhood playing hide and seek in a garage and if it's paint or paint-related it means I'm probably painting and if it smells vaguely like vinegar, I'm happily transported to a darkroom somewhere.

Carving out writing time haphazardly. Usually it means I don't get all of my schoolwork done. But when you look at a solid 70+ pages that you adore, who cares if you get a 'B' instead of an 'A'?

And the Justin Timberlake song 'Sexy Back.' Guilty, guilty, guilty.

[Elmo]

And the Justin Timberlake song 'Sexy Back.' Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Feanor, I don't think the pope himself could get into heaven if he liked that song

[Roa_Aoife]

AMV's (Anime music videos)

Country Music

Sailor Moon

Cheesy Romance Novels (Someone help me.)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Roa_Aoife

Cheesy Romance Novels (Someone help me.)

Only if you can keep me and my notebook away from them. I adore the titles. I have a running list of my favorites for use in parody.

I'll assign sushi. I'm supposed to be a vegetarian.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

Cookies, definitely cookies! And coffee too. These comprise my Achilles heel, and I can honestly say it would be easier to pass up a $100 bill lying on the ground than a plateful of cookies with a steaming mug of joe.

[Meneltarmacil]

Posting here, playing games, watching stuff, etc. when I should be doing my homework or doing something important...

[Glirdan]

Posting here, playing games, watching stuff, etc. when I should be doing my homework or doing something important...

Ooooo!! I'll second that(^)!!

Alchoolic beverages

Siblings (Like I love her, but I hate her all at the same time....)

Hypocricy!

[Celuien]

Loudly singing along to the radio while driving to work. Especially assigned when I have passengers in the car, though I will stop if they ask me.

It's just so much fun to sing along.

[Glirdan]

Agreed with that Celuien!! And of course dancing alone in your room and then people randomly walking in on you.

[Salacia Deloresista]

For some reason, the Administration Building at school always comes to mind when I think of Orthanc. One never can tell whose side the administraters are on. They tell you they're your friends, then take away four days from Spring Break.

I assign politicians to Orthanc (the White House).

[Volo]

Bus line 79. It never comes on time and when it does, it comes full. But it's the fastest and easiest way to get around.

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Mummy

the Hamster is second only to Jon Stewart in my pantheon of small but perfectly formed adorable men on television

I adore Richard Hammond!

Oops.

Reading back on very old blog posts (mine or anyone else's). Not only is it a waste of time to hunt down deep into blogs to look for posts that for some reason stand out in your memory and make you want to read them again, which inevitably leads to reading all posts you have to go through to get there, but it also leads to blank, wistful, or melancholic moods. Not a good state to be in if you're supposed to be writing a project proposal for Biostatistics.

The Princess Diaries. But oh, how can I resist Mia Thermopolis's rants that so mirror the ones that go through my mind! Just in form, though, definitely not in content. Well, except for those schoolwork-related ones.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

My first ever failing grade. Not just my first bad grade in college, but my legitimately first ever 'F.'

It's in Orthanc because usually I'm told people feel guilt or shame or other such feelings about nasty marks on their transcripts.

[the phantom]

Well, there's the obvious guilty pleasures- twinkies, soda, and fried foods. But that's not all. There's also....

Figure skating! I looooove figure skating! I tell my buds that I only watch it because the girls are smokin' hot (which they are), but secretly I'm actually interested in the sport itself, which is a big no-no for testosterone filled football loving men like me.

[Brinniel]

-Ben and Jerry's ice cream (way too expensive and way too fattening)

-swear words (yes, Brinn admits she can have a foul mouth...)

-pulling all-nighters for no good reason

-napping during the day

-sleeping til 4pm

-over-the-top films that are ridiculously violent and gory *coughGrindhousecough*

-buying new dvds (I buy on impulse and now own over 100)

-singing, rather loudly, to the radio as I'm driving my car (and I should mention I'm a terrible singer...)

-In junior high and high school, I had this knack for persuading my teachers to play certain movies in class, even if they only had a slight relation to the subject (just ask my French teacher, heheh).

And yes...I know I am a film geek.

[Lalaith]

I assign John Prescott. He's not popular with the press but his Yorkshire "I call a spade a spade" approach always raises a smile in our house, especially when decking egg-toting Welsh farmers with mullets.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
And on the subject of politics, I assign Max Hastings. All good liberals need one token right-winger to approve of, and he's mine. In fact, I find myself so often nodding in agreement with the stuff he writes, it's scary.

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

And on the subject of politics, I assign Max Hastings. All good liberals need one token right-winger to approve of, and he's mine.

PJ O'Rourke is my fave right winger - so funny and my fave lefty is Tony Benn... barking in some respects but you know where you are with him...and at least he is consistent..and sometimes quite right.....

[Meneltarmacil]

I'm assigning the following:
Staying up really late
Sleeping in until 11 AM

These tend to be very much related to each other .

As for the latest discussions, I can't say I have a lot of right-wingers I secretly or openly approve of, probably because most of the right-wingers here in America tend to be seriously misguided at best and downright looney at worst. In fact, I think British conservatives would appear downright liberal if you compared them to somebody like Rush Limbaugh or Ann Coulter.

[Roa_Aoife]

The left-wingers aren't that great either, Menel. *shudders at the thought of Michael Moore*

I assign Art Day at school. On the one hand, clean up is awful, and I come home covered in paint. On the other hand, the kids adore it.

I also assign ignoring chores and spending the whole day doing nothing. A guilty pleasure if there ever was one.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Redefining deadlines.

I know I'm going to have to write the two papers eventually, it's just that I don't right now.

[Laitoste]

I second country music! Especially the stuff from the early 90's, the stuff my parents listened to when I was a kid, the stuff I grew up with. So cheesy, and yet so endearing. I probably drive my roommate up the wall.

Also old pick-up trucks. And Westerns, particularly The Man from Snowy River.

Returning to the 'Downs after a protracted abscence.

Political and single-issue blogs (really!). Nothing like being worked up into a proper idealogical rage.

And, of course, procrastination. Yes, I have exams tomorrow and Friday, as well as a paper, but I don't feel like working right now .

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Esty you should try "Dorito's" then, they are the best nacho flavourse tortilia chips around. . . I hate to say it but they beat any of the Danish alternatives.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Roa_Aoife

The left-wingers aren't that great either, Menel. *shudders at the thought of Michael Moore*

Heheh, he's one of my heroes! I assign him to Orthanc for making people feel uncomfortable, but especially for the stunts on TV Nation, Roger And Me and his work on Rage Against The Machine videos.

Originally Posted by Rune

Esty you should try "Dorito's" then, they are the best nacho flavourse tortilia chips around. . . I hate to say it but they beat any of the Danish alternatives.

"Nachos! I need TP..." Which reminds me, I assign Beavis and Butthead to Orthanc - it's years since I saw any, but they were funny! And I assign South Park which I have been overdosing on lately (with heartfelt thanks to Paramount Comedy Channel) - and especially that new episode about World of Warcraft! Oh and the Lord of the Rings episode which I finally saw recently. Butters as Gollum - brilliant!

[Thinlómien]

I assign Eurovision song contest.

It's so horrible, poor and grotesque but funny, amusing and entertaining the same time and I'm ashamed to confess that I and my frinds still listen last year's songs from my friend's iPod...

[Volo]

Originally Posted by Thinlómien

I and my frinds still listen last year's songs from my friend's iPod...

You can't do that! It's out of fashion!

Well, I'll assign Idols for about the same reasons.