The Middle-Earth American Football Tournament

[Sleepy Ranger]

Here are the teams-

1. Gondor
2. Shire
3. Mordor
4. Numenor
5. Rivendell
6. Lothlorien
7. Bree
8. Arnor
9. Angband
10. Alqualondë
11. Belegost
12. Dale
13. Erebor
14. Mirkwood
15. Rohan
16. Moria
17. Gondolin
18. Grey Havens
19. Nargothrond
20. Valimar
21. Valmar
22. Vinyamar
23. Woodhall
24. Barrow-Downs
25. Old Forest
26. Fangorn
27. Isengard
28. Tol-In-Gauroth
29. Ephel Brandir
30. Doriath
31. Crickhollow
32. Goblin-town

Division A
Gondolin
Lothlorien
Gondor
Old Forest

Division B
Woodhall
Tol-In-Gauroth
Doriath
Nargothrond

Division C
Arnor
Mirkwood
Alqualonde
Isengard

Division D
Valimar
Numenor
Bree
Fangorn

Division E
Rivendell
Dale
Moria
Rohan

Division F
Vinyamar
Mordor
Gray Havens
Angband

Division G
Ephel Brandir
Shire
Valmar
Goblin-Town

Division H
Barrow-Downs
Erebor
Belegost
Crickhollow

Previous Tournaments & Winners

The Middle-Earth Football World Cup - The Barrow Downs

---

Hello ladies, gentlemen, gentle-hobbits, gentle-elves, grumpy-dwarves, gross-orcs and uh... gravy-trolls... and welcome to the Middle-Earth American Football Tournament, or the MEAFT for short.

The same 32 teams which participated in the Middle-Earth Football World Cup will be displaying their skills in this sport as well. Will the Barrow-Downs be able to produce the same talent in this game or are they only a threat in football? Gondor and Gondolin have been drawn into the same division, in the World Cup they started in the same group with Gondor qualifying ahead of Gondolin but both teams still made it in. This time only one can go through, who will it be?

Stay tuned my dear folk for this tournament promises to be a thriller. Can the tiny hobbits overcome the odds just as they did before or will size really be the difference here? Odds are you'll find out soon enough.

Here is tonights fixture-

Opening Match: The Barrow-Downs vs. Erebor
Match 2: Gondolin vs. Lothlorien
Match 3: Woodhall vs. Tol-In-Gauroth
Match 4: Arnor vs. Mirkwood
Match 5: Valimar vs. Numenor
Match 6: Rivendell vs. Dale
Match 7: Vinyamar vs. Mordor
Match 8: Ephel Brandir vs. The Shire

[Sleepy Ranger]

Offence

Center - The Barrow-Wight
Guard - Saucepan Man
Guard - Rimbaud
Tackle - Morai
Tackle - Heren Istarion
Tight End - Meneltarmacil
Reciever - Glirdan
Reciever - Wilwarin538
Halfback - Roa_Aoife
Fullback - THE Ka
Quarterback - Sleepy Ranger

Defence

Tackle - Morai
Tackle - Heren Istarion
End - Hookbill the Goomba
End - Elu Ancalime
Linebacker - Alcarillo
Linebacker - Orominuialwen
Linebacker - Nilpaurion Felagund
Cornerback - Gil-Galad
Cornerback - Anguirel
Safety - Formendacil
Safety - Farael

[The Saucepan Man]

I have neither any knowledge of, nor any particular interest in, American Football, so I imagine that I will make a dreadful player ...

I thought that it was a strange game, but there are two teams per team ...!!??

[Anguirel]

With a bit of overlap. Bizarre...

Ah well, I never excelled in sports coverage anyway. I'll continue to produce human interest stories and transfer rumours...

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

I have neither any knowledge of, nor any particular interest in, American Football, so I imagine that I will make a dreadful player ...

I thought that it was a strange game, but there are two teams per team ...!!??

Don't blame me I got all my information from Roa_Aoife. Besides Sportspan Man, you're an athletic man I daresay you'd be a real help to the team!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Sleepy Ranger

Besides Sportspan Man, you're an athletic man ...

*Spits cigarette out and splutters beer all over the screen*

[the phantom]

I believe in this tournament we will see teams of men rise to the top to challenge the likes of Angband and Tol-In-Gauroth. Gondor, Arnor, and Numenor all have a good shot at winning, though Arnor's chances are severely damaged after learning that their star receivers, Valandil and Aragorn II, will play for Rivendell where they were raised. Because of that, I will name Numenor and Gondor as my good-guy favorites.

The elves can match up at the skill positions (WR, RB, CB, S), but their offensive and defensive lines will lose the battle at the line of scrimmage. Elves simply aren't weighty, where as teams from Gondor and Numenor feature lines of men who average around 6'6" 310 lbs.

Sure, a speedy elf at the rush end position or a safety or linebacker on a blitz might be able to make his way to the quarterback on a slow developing pass play such as a play action pass or a seven step drop, but I imagine the Numenorians and men of Gondor are smart enough to use the advantage they have and run the ball against teams of elves, hobbits, and smaller men. I expect Gondor's running back, Earnur, and Numenor's running back, Ar-Pharazon, to rack up big numbers during the next few weeks.

Teams that could challenge Numenor and Gondor-

Isengard- Saruman has genetically altered his orcs to be larger, so their lines will stand up better than others, but I still think Numenor and Gondor will be able to run the ball on them effectively, not to mention that Isengard's defensive backs will have quite a bit of trouble keeping a handle on Numenor and Gondor's primary wide receivers (Amandil and Tar-Palantir for Numenor, Faramir and Anarion for Gondor).

Valmar and Valimar- Both teams have some good talent, but I think they, as a whole, think and move too slowly to beat a good football team. It's too bad Tulkas, Orome, and Eonwe didn't transfer to a team that could make use of their abilities.

Fangorn- The ents are very imposing, however I don't see them having what it takes. Most of the time they are lethargic, but when they aren't they tend to get penalized. It is illegal to pick up a player and throw him, to restrain him from behind, or to strike him with a limb. Ents are so oversized that they tend to do these things without meaning to, and the refs won't let them get away with it. In addition, the football is so small to them that most ents have difficulty hanging on to it.

Tol-In-Gauroth- Sauron's wolves match up well with Gondor and Numenor. Sauron has a lot of wolves to choose from, and so has found himself a team with an excellent blend of size, strength, and speed. Numenor and Gondor will not be able to dominate them at the line, and will not be able to run past them with speed. Tol-In-Gauroth could very well end up winning this tournament.

Angband- Anband is obviously a heavy hitter. Its balrog offensive line will clear the way for any running back. Though Melkor is the quarterback, expect him to do most of the rushing himself, Michael Vick style. Gothmog and Durin's Bane are the rush ends on defense. Expect them to put a lot of pressure on opposing quarterbacks and shut down any running play to the outside.

[Roa_Aoife]

I thought that it was a strange game, but there are two teams per team ...!!??

Indeed. Actually there can be three teams- A team specially trained for offense, a team specially trained for defense, and a team specially trained for punting and kicking.

Each team is specially trained for it's task. When our team has possesion, the offensive team is on the field, to do their job of moving the ball to their End Zone. When the other team has the ball, our defensive team comes on the field to stop them from getting to ours. When we need a field goal, the Kicking team comes out. It's almost like a turn based RPG... except faster.

[the phantom]

Yes, Sauce, there are far more things to consider in American football. Not only are there multiple teams, but there are different packages of different teams.

For instance, when your team is on defense and it is 3rd down with only one yard to go to gain a first down, you put in your goal line defense, which has perhaps an extra defensive tackle and an extra middle line-backer. However, if it is 3rd down and 15 yards to go, you might put in a dime defense, featuring two extra cornerbacks rather than outside linebackers.

It's all about matchups. If the other team puts certain personel on the field, you must counter them. Also, if the other team shifts from the I-formation to single-back shotgun formation, your defense must quickly make the necessary changes before the play begins or risk giving up a score.

American football is like chess played with bodies instead of chess pieces. That's why I like it more than soccer. It's more complicated and more difficult to completely grasp. It is... more intelligent.

[JennyHallu]

Sauce, before these sports fanatics scar you for life, I feel I must make clear to you the truth: American football is described as a thinking, strategic game -- just remember. Playing chess is a mental exercise. Watching a chess tournament, unless you're a chess player, is boring.

Offensive American football, unless you are yourself a player, is made up of four basic plays: throw the ball a long way, throw the ball a little way, try to run the ball up through the center of a bunch of men trying to knock you over, and finally, try to run the ball around the side of the bunch of men.

Defensive American football is much simpler. Find the gentleman carrying the ball and knock him over. The sooner you do this, the better. If you injure him and aren't caught, even better, because he's out of the way.

And the universal rule of football: The last five minutes will take longer than the whole of the rest of the last quarter.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Alright I've simmed the first few matches, I'll do the rest and type up the summary tomorrow. Until then, here are the scores-

Opening Match: The Barrow-Downs (35) vs. Erebor (13)
Match 2: Gondolin (22) vs. Lothlorien (21)
Match 3: Woodhall (0) vs. Tol-In-Gauroth (14)
Match 4: Arnor (21) vs. Mirkwood (14)
Match 5: Valimar (7) vs. Numenor (7) [Half-Time]

[the phantom]

Oh, just so everyone knows, don't put any money on a hobbit team.

They were somehow able to do well in soccer, who knows exactly how, but in American football they have absolutely zero chance.

I'm not all that big, but when I play football with younger cousins or kids that I tutor, I am able to score a touchdown literally any time I choose to. A twelve year old is entirely incapable of tackling me, much less a large football player.

If they put their arms around my legs I simply put one foot in front of the other like usual and break right through their hold. If they jump up on my upper body I use my free hand and push them right off, or I simply carry them with me. In my experience, it takes sometimes three, but usually four twelve year olds working in unison to bring me down, but that's only when I have allowed them to catch me in the first place, and when I'm not being my roughest with them. If I really wanted to, I could give the stiff arm to any would be tackler and shove them straight to the ground, or put my shoulder into them and knock them off their feet and the wind out of their lungs.

That's what would happen in any game featuring hobbits versus men, elves, werewolves, or balrogs. It would be absurdly easy to defeat a team of hobbits. Even a hobbit that can jump very very high could not possibly hope to catch a pass six or seven feet in the air. So, quite simply, all a taller team would have to do is send their receivers straight to the end zone and lob the ball up in the air for them to catch. The hobbits would have no way of keeping the receiver from catching the ball, except for tripping them or shoving them before the ball arrives, which is illegal.

Any halfway decent athlete who has played football with children or young teenagers knows how much of a mismatch it is. If someone like Numenor were to play a hobbit team in American football, I seriously imagine that the score would be something in the neighborhood of 200 to 0.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Any halfway decent athlete who has played football with children or young teenagers knows how much of a mismatch it is. If someone like Numenor were to play a hobbit team in American football, I seriously imagine that the score would be something in the neighborhood of 200 to 0.

I'd be categorized as a young teenager but I daresay I could take you down. Of course I suggest we ought to ignore the fact that I'm quite tall and strong for my age... I blame popcorn for this. And of course the fact that I play quite a lot of sports. ^_^

Well okay so its still pretty much just one young teen in a million who'd be able to handle his own so I suppose your point still stands.

[JennyHallu]

I don't know...low center of gravity...if they went for your knees...

[the phantom]

I'd be categorized as a young teenager but I daresay I could take you down. Of course I suggest we ought to ignore the fact that I'm quite tall and strong for my age

If you are tall and strong enough to take me down then you are undoubtedly larger and stronger than a hobbit. A hobbit sized individual would have no chance. And, as I mentioned before, that's assuming that the hobbit sized individual could even catch me. Even the great Sleepy Ranger might find that a bit difficult.

I don't know...low center of gravity...if they went for your knees...

Heh. I'm guessing that you aren't an athlete who has played football against smaller foes. Let me tell you, a few months ago when one of my cousins tried to employ the go-for-the-knees method, my leg simply went through him like he wasn't there and left his collar bone and side bruised and his nose bloody.

Sure, a hobbit would stand a chance of using this method on a light person without much muscle development, but when you're dealing with someone like me who used to spend three or four hours a day running (either on a track or on a tennis court), the body of a little hobbit isn't much of an impediment to the legs.

And if a hobbit couldn't tackle me, there is no way a hobbit could hope to tackle the likes of Turin, Aragorn, and Isildur.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by the phantom

If you are tall and strong enough to take me down then you are undoubtedly larger and stronger than a hobbit. A hobbit sized individual would have no chance. And, as I mentioned before, that's assuming that the hobbit sized individual could even catch me. Even the great Sleepy Ranger might find that a bit difficult.

The great Sleepy Ranger won a gold medal with a broken freakin' shoulder I doubt he'd have any trouble catching or even racing the phantom.

Oh and it'd be best if we stopped discussing who can do what and when and how unless they are in some way related to this tournament. Which means you can discuss the phantom and myself seeing how we play for the 'Downs team but seriously I'd like it if we all stuck to topic.

[the phantom]

Seeing as my posts were specifically illustrating the problems of hobbits playing football, I'm going to assume you are chiding yourself.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Seeing as my posts were specifically illustrating the problems of hobbits playing football, I'm going to assume you are chiding yourself.

You're right... I bow before your greatness but only for a second... Now then... ON WITH THE GAMES!

*Goes back to writing the matches.*

Oh and Roa asked me to ask you people to make ads...

[Formendacil]

Rather like Sauce, I worry that my presence on the Barrow-Downs team could dampen our chances of victory, although I'm pleased to be given a spot.

Although, to be honest, I'd rather be playing on the Tol-in-Gaurhoth team as Saurondacil.

[Elu Ancalime]

Defensive End! Woot woot! Like Michael Strahan...with better teeth.

I expect to see a lot of running game out of Moria and Goblin-Town. Although moria goblins are small, they are fast, and are used to moving quikly while being unnoticed. Hookbill and I will find a challenge in their Back's! And their marching band for Halftime shows should be good, cant wait to see that Cave Troll Drumline! It will be like the Battle of the Pelenor, and all the Angband fans chanting 'Grond!' But I definetly dont want to see the Enemy's teams' cheerleadres....Ugh! Perhaps thats why the prisoners from Nargrothond were taken...

Wow, Woodhall got stomped...
________
Extreme q vaporizer

[Morai]

Tackle - Morai

Wow, didn't see that one coming. Really though, I feel honored.

They were somehow able to do well in soccer, who knows exactly how, but in American football they have absolutely zero chance.

One never knows. (I'm speaking of college football, cause I'm usually more interested in it than the NFL.) "Smaller" teams often have advantages at rushing, for they often are able to move their legs faster. Whether or not hobbits have this ability, I think it's yet to be seen. (Either that or I'm biased towards hobbits. )

[Elu Ancalime]

biased towards hobbits

But arent we all, deep down in our hearts?


Im also a little surprised at Erebor, I thought they would have kept the score a little more even, considering dwarves and all, they seem like the favorite as far as (un?)natural selection. But we will see on the Post Game report with Sleepy Ranger soon.
________
MAGYAR SUZUKI SPECIFICATIONS

[the phantom]

"Smaller" teams often have advantages at rushing

Not smaller "teams"- smaller running backs. And even the smaller college running backs that have success are considerably larger than a hobbit. And the offensive linemen that block for the running backs- they are most definitely larger than a hobbit. It would take at least four hobbits to block a large Numenorian, which means that the maximum number of men a team of hobbit blockers could stop is two, leaving the other nine men free to grab the little runt and drive him forcefully into the ground.

The hobbits had better be courteous to their opponents, or they might purposefully land on top of them when they tackle them. There'd be ribs breaking on every play.

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

Rather like Sauce, I worry that my presence on the Barrow-Downs team could dampen our chances of victory, although I'm pleased to be given a spot.

Don't worry Formen, you are Safety... if they pass the ball, run back and smack the one who is going to get it... if they run the ball, run forward and smack the one who already has it... and if you feel like blitzing, pretend to run back, run forward instead and smack the one who has the ball hopefully before he passes it to others.

Wohooo!! I'm excited... what a game!! those poor folks from Erebor never had a chance.... watch out 'cos here we come!!

[Glirdan]

This is going to be awsome!!

Attentions all!!! Is Roa in the stadium?? If so, please PM ASAP! Thank you all and have a great day!!

Well, getting back on topic after that little interruption. SpM you'll do fine. I'm not a great sports person either. Wait, that's not entirely true. I always was reciever... And I must say that I didn't to badly, not to mention I don't have a bad arm either. Oh, there I go. I'm going to shut up now...

[Sleepy Ranger]

I'm sorry for making you wait so long but you'll have to wait a few more hours till I finally post the results. Sorry.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Farael

Don't worry Formen, you are Safety... if they pass the ball, run back and smack the one who is going to get it... if they run the ball, run forward and smack the one who already has it... and if you feel like blitzing, pretend to run back, run forward instead and smack the one who has the ball hopefully before he passes it to others.

Huh?

Well, I can only assume that my football-playing alter-ego isn't a PERFECT copy of me.

And I still want to see Saurondacil playing with Tol-in-Gaurhoth.

[Sleepy Ranger]

The Barrow-Downs (35) vs. Erebor (13)

Erebor won the toss and picked to recieve. They made a relatively slow start and soon ended up giving away posession. Unfortunately the 'Downs couldn't convert anything either and the first quarter went by with no breaks for either team. The second quarter however brought better luck for the Barrow-Downs as an early interception by Gil-Galad and a few good runs later the Barrow-Downs found themselves within 19 yards of scoring. Sleepy Ranger threw the whole 19 yards and the pass was completed by Glirdan scoring the 'Downs their first touchdown. The phantom did what was needed and got the 'Downs the extra point.

It was a far more aggressive Erebor on the field this time around but an untimely fumble gave the 'Downs posession at the 30 yard line. Sleepy Ranger attempted the pass and Glirdan was there to complete it again giving the 'Downs their second touchdown from a huge pass. The phantom once again got them the extra point. Erebor managed to get off a series of good passes and a 15 yard pass finally got them the touchdown they needed and they managed to get the extra point as well. The 'Downs came close to scoring once more but time was not on their side as the half came to an end.

Possession kept being passed around at the beginning of the second half until Erebor managed to rush in a touchdown from 10 yards out. However they could not get the extra point. A remarkable 40 yard run by THE Ka got the 'Downs their third touchdown of the match and the phantom brought home another extra point. The teams ended the quarter with Erebor on the ball. With a minute left to play an interception by Gil-Galad just outside the 10 yard line led to a breath-taking 50 yard run and brought the 'Downs close to another touchdown. Sleepy Ranger managed to get a 20 yard pass to Wilwarin who ran in for the touchdown. Phantom showed no flaws and the 'Downs won 35-13.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Hey since I'm modding WWJ V I'll continue this after that is over.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Since this is American Football shouldn't
offense and defense be spelt with "s"s?
And is it college or professional rules (ex. one foot
or two inbounds for a reception)? And if there are
injuries is there a (salary) cap for replacements?
And what if there's a mid-season lock-out or strike?
Hmmm?

Just had a thought. After the Winter Olympics, will
there be a curling tournament? Or ice dancing?

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Tuor of Gondolin

Since this is American Football shouldn't offense and defense be spelt with "s"s?

American Football doesn't mean American spelling...

Nasty, vile stuff it is, yess preciouss...

Seriously, if that were the case, then oughtn't we to use British spelling throughout Books, seeing how Tolkien was British? Or New Zealander spelling for anything to do with PJ?

If Sleepy Ranger spells the words as "offence" and "defence", then that's fine with me. We know what he's saying. And less of that American spelling contagion.

[JennyHallu]

British spelling is so quaint, archaic, and quirky...

How do you guys keep from oohing and aahing at the cuteness of...oh..."advertise" instead of "advertize"?

EDIT: archaic added for Sleepy's especial benefit.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

British spelling is so quaint and quirky...

I just want people to start using archaic again...

[Smaug]

How about an Arda Rugby Tournament?? Rugby after all is a man's game without protective padding most notably. Also as Tolkien grew up under a British influence to say the least, Rugby it should be. Right, there could be all the teams that you have mentioned Sleepy Ranger, playing in pools.

However how about inter-race teams, so there are more specially assigned positions??

Or an alternative...

This years Arda World Select Barbarians Team:

Props: Durin the Deathless and Gimli
Hooker: Thorin Oakenshield
Locks (Second Row): Moria Cave Troll and Treebeard
Flankers: Beorn and Azog
No. 8: Tulkas
Scrum Half: Frodo Baggins
Fly- Half: Fëanor
Inside Centre: Turin Turumbar
Outside Centre: Morgoth
Left Wing: Legolas
Right Wing: Elrond
Fullback: Sauron

Skipper (Captain): Fëanor
Coach: Gandalf
Assistant Coach: Tom Bombadil

Home Ground for this year: Minas Tirith
Alternative due to adverse weather conditions:
The Withered Heath playing fields
Sponsors: The Barad-dûr Trust and the Icebay of Forochel

Now we can make up other teams for these lot to play using known people from the books and write legendary match reports!!

[Sleepy Ranger]

How about an Arda Rugby Tournament?? Rugby after all is a man's game without protective padding most notably. Also as Tolkien grew up under a British influence to say the least, Rugby it should be. Right, there could be all the teams that you have mentioned Sleepy Ranger, playing in pools.

Theres just one Rugby game out in the market and its nearly impossible to find, its been discussed and alas, I keep getting bored of most American sports so yeah...