If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Neurion · 03-08-2005, 10:33 PM

Well, what would you do? How about it chaps?

Lostgaeriel · 03-08-2005, 10:49 PM

Send all the Gondorian lawyers out to negotiate a peace treaty.

(Relax! My sister is a lawyer - who do you think tells me all the lawyer jokes?)

lord of dor-lomin · 03-08-2005, 11:01 PM

Funny thread.

Quote:

negotiate a peace treaty

Ha ha!

Taking the French approach, I see.

What would I do? Hmm...

I know! I'd start a rumor that Turin came back to life, then I'd paint a sword black and charge at them. They'd probably run away.

If that didn't work, well, I suppose I'd ask everyone I knew if they were friends with the Ents, or at least knew where I could find a grove of orc-hating Huorns.

Lyta_Underhill · 03-08-2005, 11:31 PM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

laugh and point and wonder how they got so small they could fit on my front door!

Then I'd cover the door with a thick coat of barn red paint to make it match the roof! Bye bye 200,000 tiny orcs!

Cheers!
Lyta

P.S. Then I'd put my tiny houseplant Huorns out and let them feast on whatever tiny orcs fell off the door...

Estelyn Telcontar · 03-09-2005, 02:17 AM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

...resurrect Martin Luther and have him nail his 95 theses to the door - preferably with 200,000 nails!

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-09-2005, 02:56 AM

Show them they could be redeemed.

Celebuial · 03-09-2005, 03:16 AM

I don't think I'd be able to do much as the sent of my flesh would probably send them wild, so they'd jump on me and tear me to pieces!

Ok, if they didn't jump at me straight away I'd pull out The One Ring which permanently lives around my neck on its very own silver chain, and put it on. I would then be so powerful I could bend their will to leaving my front door! Not that I would then get much peace as I imagine I would now be incredibly evil and try and take over the world. This would be so much hard work I would most likely die of exhaustion!

Ok, who am I kidding? I'd slam the door shut, run to the back of the house like I was being pursued by, well, 200 000 Orcs; throw open the back door and never come back to this part of Middle-Earth again! Of course I would probably die in The Wild....

Hmmmmmmmmm. *scratches head * I seem to always end up dying....

Rimbaud · 03-09-2005, 03:36 AM

Start a business manufacturing orcish products. They'd be happy little consumers in no time, and I would become bloated and wealthy. It's the Gondorian dream.

Lalwendë · 03-09-2005, 07:17 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Sigh resignedly and dig deep into my pockets as I paid for 200,000 cotton tea-towels, before signing 200,000 sponsored walk pledge sheets and saying 200,000 times "No, I don't want anything from the Avon book, thank you" before closing the door and collapsing into an exhausted heap.

Meneltarmacil · 03-09-2005, 07:51 AM

I'd threaten to give them all a bath. That would probably be sufficient to frighten them off.

However, there don't really seem to be a lot of realistic options here other than "Die".

Lolidir · 03-09-2005, 07:52 AM

If I were to find 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would most likely run into my room and get my fighting knives (the ones that are like Legolas' but they are because they are mine), which i had just purchaced some where becaue i want them so bad, i would then proceed to call my friend who has Anduril. he would come over and we would both fight bravely and would most likely be over run and have to retreat not into the Hornburg mainly because i dont have one, but into first my kitchen to grab a bite to eat and replenish our strength and then into the bathroom as it is the smallest place and it would be hard for like 200,000 orcs to fit in there so we would have more of a chance. After fighting for a long time we would eventually show that we are so skilled in fighting and that the orcs dont have a chance, so the remaining ones would run away. my friend and i would choose not to pursue them on account that we just fought off like 170,000 or so orcs.

Beanamir of Gondor · 03-09-2005, 07:53 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front doorstep, I would...

...invite them in for tea and then drug them with multiple Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Then I would hide them in my basement, chained to the walls, and when I didn't like my dinner I would throw it to them. Nyay.

Bêthberry · 03-09-2005, 08:38 AM

Demonstrate the delights of shield-boarding down my steps.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 03-09-2005, 08:52 AM

Find some hemlock.

TomBrady12 · 03-09-2005, 08:58 AM

Put on some ultra strong ear muffs and crank up the Dixie Chicks...gotta watch out for friendly fire though

TB12

Formendacil · 03-09-2005, 09:59 AM

200,000 orks is a disaster waiting to happen. All that I need to effect it is a few costumes, a little bit of wit, and a nuclear bomb shelter.

To start off, when I find 200,000 orks on my doorstep, my first move is to don my generic-ork costume, slap on a silvery S-rune, and go visit the Isengarders. There, I spread the rumour that the Moria-orks prefere the command of the Mordor-orks to the Isengarders.

Before things get too hot there, I switch emblems, and go visit the orks of Lugburz, and discreetly whisper that the Isengarders plan to let the Mordor-orks lead the charge, and get slaughtered, so that they can feast on Mordor-ork-flesh.

Then I scrap all emblems, and dash over to the Misty Mountain goblin camp, and inform them that the Mordor orks have killed Blub, the illegitimate son of Bolg and the Great Goblin. Without stopping to see their reactions, I run over to my bomb shelter, and await the explosion.

Three hours, twenty-six minutes later, I emerge, having shaved, washed, and put on perfume and Elf-clothes. I brandish my bow and sword and do my best Elf-warrior impersonation. If the two-and-a-half remaining orks don't flee in terror, they'll probably die of laughter.

Annalaliath · 03-09-2005, 03:31 PM

weild my wooden sword in one hand and my sabor bayonett in the other, when my wooden on breaks grab the cast Iron frying pan, and throw my Tree Beird action figure at them... when all this fails just run away...

mark12_30 · 03-09-2005, 03:37 PM

Look up to see if Frodo had destroyed the Ring yet.

the guy who be short · 03-09-2005, 03:53 PM

Bar the gates!

Then take my trusty bow (made of a few small pieces of wood) and irritate them with my seven ro so arrows. Then barricade myself and presume that I have more supplies for one person in my house than the orcs have supplies outside.

Sett · 03-09-2005, 04:15 PM

If i found 200,000 orcs outside my front door i would.

1. Get the hose and spray down those smelly things
2. Get them to buy aprons from the local store
3. Give them gardening tools and say the weeds stole there land.
4. and finally i would get them to pose as gnomes so i dont get damned Jehovas Witnessess coming to the door

lothlorien · 03-09-2005, 06:13 PM

gnomes that's so funny I'd hate to visit your house imagine the instant carnage that would be your yard every time someone came to visit and your like "Mum the knomes just killed our neighbor again"

.

Encaitare · 03-09-2005, 08:41 PM

Quote:

4. and finally i would get them to pose as gnomes so i dont get damned Jehovas Witnessess coming to the door

Call the Jehovah's Witnesses Hotline and get them all to come to my house so they can distract the orcs and try to convert them, while I slip quietly away through the back door.

The Only Real Estel · 03-09-2005, 09:41 PM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Um...lock the door and scream like a little girl!?

Oddwen · 03-09-2005, 10:44 PM

1) Well, first I'd hop quickly to the BarrowDowns to see what advice I could get in two-point-five seconds, and then I'd turn on my iTunes visual effects to hypnotize them, and while that was happening I'd sneak out the back door.

2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly.

3) Wake up.

4) Grab my BB gun and...fire off two shots before I die.

5) Get them involved in the Balrog Wing debate. After all, wouldn't some of them have seen/not seen wings?

6) Blast some Korn or Disturbed at them...woo, look at 'em run!

7) Start some "drums in the deep" of my own.

8) Tell them the Barrow-Wight thinks that they're off topic. (

)

9) Tell them that the general concensus is that them being on MY doorstep is non-canonical.

10) Wonder if this will interfere with my visits to the BD's...

Neurion · 03-09-2005, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly.

Doubt it. I've been eating it my entire life.

Great thoughts everyone. Keep it up!

Annalaliath · 03-10-2005, 01:05 AM

mmm
attack them with my frying pan.. it would crush a few skulls.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-10-2005, 01:54 AM

Ask them whether they are corrupted beasts, corrupted Elves, corrupted Men, Úmaiar, or any combinations thereof.

While they wonder, I get as far away as I can.

Who am I kidding? Eönwë trained me in the art of sword-fighting. I'll show them why somehow they haven't won a decent war since the First Age.

alatar · 03-10-2005, 12:55 PM

Here's a plan:

1. Shut the door. That should slow them down a bit.

2. Use my keyfob to set off my car alarm. Not only would it cause a little wonder in the orcs, it would torque off my neighbors who, armed to the teeth (this is 'Merica!), would start shooting just to get the noise to stop.

3. Call the police. Most local police carry enough firepower to handle a few thousand or so orcs, but what would really get them going would be me telling them that the orcs were having some kind of religious rally without a permit. The ACLU lawyers sniffing the line would beat the cops to the scene, and, by all accounts, those lawyers can be pretty tough.

4. Call the local Teamsters. "Hey, I gotta some guys here who are working below union scale." One might pity the orcs.

5. The next calls would be to cable TV and satellite dish companies who, so hot on signing up a new customer, would be there in minutes. Some of the orcs would be caught in the ensuing crossfire.

6. Call a timeshare company and tell them that there are ~200,000 potential clients at my door if they would be so interested to stop by. Need I say more?

7. Use my video camera to capture the fun for sale later to the local news. Hey, what's wrong with turning a buck on the whole deal?

After that, I'd sit back and load up ROTK EE on the DVD player to find the next thing to nitpick about in the movies forum ("...just why doesn't Merry's cape make him invisible on the Pelennor Fields?"

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 03-10-2005, 02:16 PM

If Buck McCoy has taught me anything, it's that any foe can be defeated with a lasso.

I'd have a quick search for a lasso.

Fordim Hedgethistle · 03-10-2005, 02:21 PM

Call Peter Jackson and tell him that I have an army of extras big enough for him to do the battle of Pelennor Fields again without cgi.

And then I'd send out the lawyers to negotiate an exclusive representation contract with the orcs so that I could take a %10 finder's fee from each of them for getting them signed up with Jackson for the reshoot of the battle.

Glirdan · 03-10-2005, 05:14 PM

Let's see. Firstly, call all my friends and tell them the good news (that there are actually orcs) and the bad news (that they're gonna slaughter me possibly). Next, lock the door and get a fake bow and just start shooting at them like mad when they start hacking at the door. If that doesn't work, I'd run to the back and jump out the window. Unfourtunatley, there is no window so I'd just smash into the wall. Then I'd get up and do it again. I'd probably do that until I was unconcoious. Then I'd get on the computer, come to the Barrow-downs and tell every about my exciting new video game where 200,00 orcs show up at your front door.

Glirdy

ElementFire · 03-10-2005, 06:16 PM

kick butt! what else? (apart from negociating lawyers...) I would probably use some nunchucks and karate!!!

~EF

Annalaliath · 03-10-2005, 07:38 PM

call my grandmother to bring me my 22 rifle real qu8ick, and to bring whatever gun she has, in the mean time use my bayonett and my frying pan

Maeggaladiel · 03-11-2005, 10:49 AM

Tell them for the fifteenth time that the National Orc Conference is NEXT weekend.

Mithalwen · 03-11-2005, 11:58 AM

Call a psychiatrist.

Lalwendë · 03-11-2005, 03:14 PM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

...Wonder what I'd had to drink last night.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-13-2005, 07:17 PM

See how they'd react to "knock-knock" jokes.

Quote:

Me: Knock knock?

200,000 Orcs: Who's there?

Me: 200,000 Orcs.

200,000: 200,000 Orcs who?

Me: I dunno. I was hoping you knew the answer to that one.

Gurthang · 03-13-2005, 08:06 PM

Tell them that they had the wrong house. Frodo lives on the next block.

AND

Wonder how I could count 200,000 orcs so quickly.

OR

Go find a full sized mirror and scare them with the reflection of 200,000 orcs.

Hama Of The Riddermark · 03-14-2005, 07:07 AM

Offer them a cookie?

Quote:

Orc: Rarrarghahtarahgha Uruk Hai!

Me: Cookie?

Carrûn · 03-14-2005, 07:54 AM

Start a rumor that the short orcs wanted to kill the tall orcs.

Sit back with some popcorn and observe.

03-08-2005, 10:33 PM	#1
Neurion Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Standing amidst the slaughter I have wreaked upon the orcs Posts: 258	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Well, what would you do? How about it chaps? __________________ ____________________________________ "And a cold voice rang forth from the blade. Yea, I will drink thy blood, that I may forget the blood of Beleg my master, and of Brandir slain unjustly. I will slay thee swiftly."

03-08-2005, 10:49 PM	#2
Lostgaeriel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto the Good Posts: 477	Q: What is 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the Anduin? A: A good start. Send all the Gondorian lawyers out to negotiate a peace treaty. (Relax! My sister is a lawyer - who do you think tells me all the lawyer jokes?) __________________ Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo, a star shines on the hour of our meeting.

03-09-2005, 02:56 AM	#6
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Orcs? 200 000 of them? Show them they could be redeemed. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-09-2005, 03:16 AM	#7
Celebuial Wight Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Cardiff during term time/Leicester in the holl's Posts: 129	200 000 Orcs...... I don't think I'd be able to do much as the sent of my flesh would probably send them wild, so they'd jump on me and tear me to pieces! Ok, if they didn't jump at me straight away I'd pull out The One Ring which permanently lives around my neck on its very own silver chain, and put it on. I would then be so powerful I could bend their will to leaving my front door! Not that I would then get much peace as I imagine I would now be incredibly evil and try and take over the world. This would be so much hard work I would most likely die of exhaustion! Ok, who am I kidding? I'd slam the door shut, run to the back of the house like I was being pursued by, well, 200 000 Orcs; throw open the back door and never come back to this part of Middle-Earth again! Of course I would probably die in The Wild.... Hmmmmmmmmm. scratches head I seem to always end up dying.... __________________ Ú cilith ‘war. Ú men ‘war. Boe min mebi. Boe min bango.

03-09-2005, 03:36 AM	#8
Rimbaud The Perilous Poet Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Heart of the matter Posts: 1,062	Start a business manufacturing orcish products. They'd be happy little consumers in no time, and I would become bloated and wealthy. It's the Gondorian dream. __________________ And all the rest is literature

03-09-2005, 07:17 AM	#9
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Sigh resignedly and dig deep into my pockets as I paid for 200,000 cotton tea-towels, before signing 200,000 sponsored walk pledge sheets and saying 200,000 times "No, I don't want anything from the Avon book, thank you" before closing the door and collapsing into an exhausted heap. __________________ Gordon's alive!

03-09-2005, 07:51 AM	#10
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	I'd threaten to give them all a bath. That would probably be sufficient to frighten them off. However, there don't really seem to be a lot of realistic options here other than "Die". __________________ I ♣ baby seals.

03-09-2005, 07:52 AM	#11
Lolidir Wight Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Roaming the plains of Middle Earth Posts: 103	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... If I were to find 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would most likely run into my room and get my fighting knives (the ones that are like Legolas' but they are because they are mine), which i had just purchaced some where becaue i want them so bad, i would then proceed to call my friend who has Anduril. he would come over and we would both fight bravely and would most likely be over run and have to retreat not into the Hornburg mainly because i dont have one, but into first my kitchen to grab a bite to eat and replenish our strength and then into the bathroom as it is the smallest place and it would be hard for like 200,000 orcs to fit in there so we would have more of a chance. After fighting for a long time we would eventually show that we are so skilled in fighting and that the orcs dont have a chance, so the remaining ones would run away. my friend and i would choose not to pursue them on account that we just fought off like 170,000 or so orcs. __________________ "Its a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to"

03-09-2005, 07:53 AM	#12
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front doorstep, I would... ...invite them in for tea and then drug them with multiple Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Then I would hide them in my basement, chained to the walls, and when I didn't like my dinner I would throw it to them. Nyay. __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

03-09-2005, 08:38 AM	#13
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,997	Demonstrate the delights of shield-boarding down my steps. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

03-09-2005, 08:52 AM	#14
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Find some hemlock. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

03-09-2005, 08:58 AM	#15
TomBrady12 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 69	Put on some ultra strong ear muffs and crank up the Dixie Chicks...gotta watch out for friendly fire though TB12

03-09-2005, 09:59 AM	#16
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,326	200,000 orks, eh? 200,000 orks is a disaster waiting to happen. All that I need to effect it is a few costumes, a little bit of wit, and a nuclear bomb shelter. To start off, when I find 200,000 orks on my doorstep, my first move is to don my generic-ork costume, slap on a silvery S-rune, and go visit the Isengarders. There, I spread the rumour that the Moria-orks prefere the command of the Mordor-orks to the Isengarders. Before things get too hot there, I switch emblems, and go visit the orks of Lugburz, and discreetly whisper that the Isengarders plan to let the Mordor-orks lead the charge, and get slaughtered, so that they can feast on Mordor-ork-flesh. Then I scrap all emblems, and dash over to the Misty Mountain goblin camp, and inform them that the Mordor orks have killed Blub, the illegitimate son of Bolg and the Great Goblin. Without stopping to see their reactions, I run over to my bomb shelter, and await the explosion. Three hours, twenty-six minutes later, I emerge, having shaved, washed, and put on perfume and Elf-clothes. I brandish my bow and sword and do my best Elf-warrior impersonation. If the two-and-a-half remaining orks don't flee in terror, they'll probably die of laughter. __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

03-09-2005, 03:31 PM	#17
Annalaliath Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 380	weild my wooden sword in one hand and my sabor bayonett in the other, when my wooden on breaks grab the cast Iron frying pan, and throw my Tree Beird action figure at them... when all this fails just run away... __________________ Bloody Stumps!!!

03-09-2005, 03:37 PM	#18
mark12_30 Stormdancer of Doom Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Elvish singing is not a thing to miss, in June under the stars Posts: 4,349	Look up to see if Frodo had destroyed the Ring yet. __________________ ...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.

03-09-2005, 03:53 PM	#19
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Bar the gates! Then take my trusty bow (made of a few small pieces of wood) and irritate them with my seven ro so arrows. Then barricade myself and presume that I have more supplies for one person in my house than the orcs have supplies outside.

03-09-2005, 04:15 PM	#20
Sett Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: The Baths of Hell Posts: 24	If i found 200,000 orcs outside my front door i would. 1. Get the hose and spray down those smelly things 2. Get them to buy aprons from the local store 3. Give them gardening tools and say the weeds stole there land. 4. and finally i would get them to pose as gnomes so i dont get damned Jehovas Witnessess coming to the door

03-09-2005, 06:13 PM	#21
lothlorien Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Stalking the fellowship Posts: 38	gnomes that's so funny I'd hate to visit your house imagine the instant carnage that would be your yard every time someone came to visit and your like "Mum the knomes just killed our neighbor again" .

03-09-2005, 10:44 PM	#24
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	If I found... 1) Well, first I'd hop quickly to the BarrowDowns to see what advice I could get in two-point-five seconds, and then I'd turn on my iTunes visual effects to hypnotize them, and while that was happening I'd sneak out the back door. 2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly. 3) Wake up. 4) Grab my BB gun and...fire off two shots before I die. 5) Get them involved in the Balrog Wing debate. After all, wouldn't some of them have seen/not seen wings? 6) Blast some Korn or Disturbed at them...woo, look at 'em run! 7) Start some "drums in the deep" of my own. 8) Tell them the Barrow-Wight thinks that they're off topic. ( ) 9) Tell them that the general concensus is that them being on MY doorstep is non-canonical. 10) Wonder if this will interfere with my visits to the BD's... __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 03-09-2005 at 10:49 PM. Reason: IMG tags...GOOD.

03-10-2005, 01:05 AM	#26
Annalaliath Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 380	mmm attack them with my frying pan.. it would crush a few skulls. __________________ Bloody Stumps!!!

03-10-2005, 01:54 AM	#27
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Orcs. Ask them whether they are corrupted beasts, corrupted Elves, corrupted Men, Úmaiar, or any combinations thereof. While they wonder, I get as far away as I can. Who am I kidding? Eönwë trained me in the art of sword-fighting. I'll show them why somehow they haven't won a decent war since the First Age. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-10-2005, 12:55 PM	#28
alatar Doubting Dwimmerlaik Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Heaven's basement Posts: 2,466	Here's a plan: 1. Shut the door. That should slow them down a bit. 2. Use my keyfob to set off my car alarm. Not only would it cause a little wonder in the orcs, it would torque off my neighbors who, armed to the teeth (this is 'Merica!), would start shooting just to get the noise to stop. 3. Call the police. Most local police carry enough firepower to handle a few thousand or so orcs, but what would really get them going would be me telling them that the orcs were having some kind of religious rally without a permit. The ACLU lawyers sniffing the line would beat the cops to the scene, and, by all accounts, those lawyers can be pretty tough. 4. Call the local Teamsters. "Hey, I gotta some guys here who are working below union scale." One might pity the orcs. 5. The next calls would be to cable TV and satellite dish companies who, so hot on signing up a new customer, would be there in minutes. Some of the orcs would be caught in the ensuing crossfire. 6. Call a timeshare company and tell them that there are ~200,000 potential clients at my door if they would be so interested to stop by. Need I say more? 7. Use my video camera to capture the fun for sale later to the local news. Hey, what's wrong with turning a buck on the whole deal? After that, I'd sit back and load up ROTK EE on the DVD player to find the next thing to nitpick about in the movies forum ("...just why doesn't Merry's cape make him invisible on the Pelennor Fields?"

03-10-2005, 02:16 PM	#29
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	If Buck McCoy has taught me anything, it's that any foe can be defeated with a lasso. I'd have a quick search for a lasso. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

03-10-2005, 02:21 PM	#30
Fordim Hedgethistle Gibbering Gibbet Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Beyond cloud nine Posts: 1,844	Call Peter Jackson and tell him that I have an army of extras big enough for him to do the battle of Pelennor Fields again without cgi. And then I'd send out the lawyers to negotiate an exclusive representation contract with the orcs so that I could take a %10 finder's fee from each of them for getting them signed up with Jackson for the reshoot of the battle. __________________ Scribbling scrabbling.

03-10-2005, 05:14 PM	#31
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	If I saw 200,00 orcs at my front door, I would... Let's see. Firstly, call all my friends and tell them the good news (that there are actually orcs) and the bad news (that they're gonna slaughter me possibly). Next, lock the door and get a fake bow and just start shooting at them like mad when they start hacking at the door. If that doesn't work, I'd run to the back and jump out the window. Unfourtunatley, there is no window so I'd just smash into the wall. Then I'd get up and do it again. I'd probably do that until I was unconcoious. Then I'd get on the computer, come to the Barrow-downs and tell every about my exciting new video game where 200,00 orcs show up at your front door. Glirdy __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf Last edited by Glirdan; 05-23-2005 at 12:19 PM.

03-10-2005, 06:16 PM	#32
ElementFire Animated Skeleton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: The Gama Quadrant Posts: 33	kick butt! what else? (apart from negociating lawyers...) I would probably use some nunchucks and karate!!! ~EF __________________ He who stands on toilet is high on pot. XP I don't do kung fu, I do kung lamb!!!

03-10-2005, 07:38 PM	#33
Annalaliath Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 380	call my grandmother to bring me my 22 rifle real qu8ick, and to bring whatever gun she has, in the mean time use my bayonett and my frying pan __________________ Bloody Stumps!!!

03-11-2005, 10:49 AM	#34
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 500	Tell them for the fifteenth time that the National Orc Conference is NEXT weekend. __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

03-11-2005, 11:58 AM	#35
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Call a psychiatrist. __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

03-11-2005, 03:14 PM	#36
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... ...Wonder what I'd had to drink last night. __________________ Gordon's alive!

03-13-2005, 08:06 PM	#38
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Tell them that they had the wrong house. Frodo lives on the next block. AND Wonder how I could count 200,000 orcs so quickly. OR Go find a full sized mirror and scare them with the reflection of 200,000 orcs. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

03-14-2005, 07:54 AM	#40
Carrûn Wight Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Behind you, counting to 3 Posts: 234	Start a rumor that the short orcs wanted to kill the tall orcs. Sit back with some popcorn and observe. __________________ "Dic, hospes, Spartae, nos te hic vidisse iacentes dum sanctis patriae legibus obsequimur."