Middle Earth Jobs

[Nirvana II]

I think this will work. Put any jobs that a LOTR character would have in the 21st century, or a business they would run, or a society.


Example: First National Bank of Mordor. We'll make you look so rich it'll be evil! Ever feel like your bank is making you seem poor, because no one has ever heard of that bank? Then look no further. Our courteous, enslaved, bank tellers will treat you just like the Second Evil of the World, Sauron!



i think itll work.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

It's not a normal job but I think Saruman would have a fair shot at getting elected President.

[Nimrothiel]

Yeah, because of his superb oratory skills. Not to mention the fact that he could turn people he didn't like into newts. (Don't worry, they'll get better.)
I could see Aragorn doing something in the construction business; or maybe he'd be a Forest Ranger?

[Nirvana II]

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

It's not a normal job but I think Saruman would have a fair shot at getting elected President.

didnt Saruman want to be a tyrannical dictator?

[Morai]

didnt Saruman want to be a tyrannical dictator?

Yeah, I think his campaign would consist of brainwashing the undecided, killing his opponents and enslaving his followers. But maybe I'm being too harsh.

How about Gollum being a tourguide? "We swearsss that we will lead you to your destination, on the preciousss!"

[wilwarin538]

Legolas in a beauty salon? Denethor as a pyrotecnition? Elrond and Galadriel as perfesionel fortune tellers?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Brainwashing the people, oppressing voters, doesn't that sound familiar? President/Dictator....To-may-to/To-ma-to!

I reckon Boromir would make a fantastic nightclub bouncer.

[The Perky Ent]

Hows this: Sauron as a ring maker. Anyways, Tom Bombadil as a DJ would be funny. And Gandalf as a owner of one of those hoky fireworks stores you find on the interstate.

[Nirvana II]

Originally Posted by The Perky Ent

And Gandalf as a owner of one of those hoky fireworks stores you find on the interstate.

In Virginia there's a small store called Stuckey's....they sell everything from M-80's to M-16's

[ninlaith]

I've heard there haven't been many applicants for the doorman position in Bree lately....wonder why..???

[Lalwendë]

Heh!

Grima Wormtongue would be a 'special adviser' to the Government, like Peter Mandelson. Aragorn could be an eco-warrior, like Swampy, but a whole lot less dopey. When he got older he'd give up the eco-warrior thing and take up his father's company directorship, but he would instill a sense of 'corporate responsibility'. Then he'd marry a posh girl! Samwise would be a presenter on Gardener's World. Or Animal Hospital. Elrond would be a Headmaster. Saruman might be a TV hypnotist. And Sauron would be a boss I used to have.

[Morai]

Saruman might be a TV hypnotist.

Or one of those annoying people on the other side of the "Psychic Hotline."

Gandalf would be a very famous magician. He'd do birthdays, anniversarys, or any other special event. Of course, he would insist on smoking.

[elronds_daughter]

Yeah, the Aragorn-as-a-Forest-Ranger thing makes a lot of sense. really.

how 'bout Boromir as a fencing(sp?) instructor? or any of the Rohirrim as horse-back riding instructors.

[One of the Nine]

What about orcs? I think they should have the title of "terrorists" personally. And maybe, just maybe, the Nazgul could try their hand at being flying instructors.

[yavanna II]

Gimli as the jewelry expert
Feanor as the great big Communist (sorry but i have Communist beliefs; if you have, you'd get it)
Elrond as the boring know-it-all professor of history
Arwen as the stupid girl in salons
Frodo as a weak li'l guy who never got work w/o Gandalf or Sam

Sam as a botanist
Gandalf as an expert in fireworks and nukes

[Morsul the Dark]

Bilbo would be a butler

[Lathriel]

Well of course Sam is obvious, as I think someone mentioned already he will be a garderner.

Pippin could be a comedian or maybe not...

Galadriel could maybe be a princess or queen of some small country who still has a monarchy

[Nirvana II]

legolas would be a male model, and he would change his name to Bruno!He would be fabulous all the time!

[Morsul the Dark]

Samwise Gamgee would be a TV Star

He would be the fifth Iron Chef

Iron Chef French Sakai
Iron Chef Japanese Mitsubitsi
Iron chef Chinese Kenici
Iron Chef Italian Kobe
and making is debue into kitchen stadium Iron Chef Shire Samwise Gamgee

[Saraphim]

Faramir would make an excellent psychiatrist. What with all of his childhood trauma. Of course, he'd probably need therapy first:

Faramir: I suppose it all started when Mother died...that's when I wanted to be an interior decorator. Mother always supported my dreams, but Father told me to put down the curtains and be more like Boromir.

[The Perky Ent]

Nice Saraphim. How about Sam as a professional chef! I can see it now

Sam: And we lightly garnish the rabbit with a little bit of salt, stew it, and garnish some chips next to it!
Gollum: Keep your nasty chips!
Sam: After the commercial, 101 recipies for Lembas!

And how about Sauron as a baby sitter

Sauron: Where's the baby? I see you!

Also, how about Ents as plumbers!

Treebeard: Hello? Ents plumbing. How may I help you?
Saruman: I've got a dam that needs repairs! Can you help?
Treebeard: We'll be right over!
(Treebeard goes over and breaks the dam)
Saruman, oblivious the the river comming into the ring: How's it going back there?
Treebeard: How about you pay me in cash...now!

What a world

Pippin and Merry as comedians, of course! Right up alongside Will Ferrel and Jim Carrey! Just image Merry in Anchorman and Pippin as Ace Ventura... but it would work, though, don't u think?

[Feared Half-Elf]

I don't know why, but I could see Aragorn as one of those people who stand in the street and preach.

Legolas should be on one of those shampoo adverts. Predictable, I know.

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by yavanna II

Elrond as the boring know-it-all professor of history

Erm well if Elrond had been my history teacher I would have done better in my A-Level all those years ago... I would have been like that girl in Indiana Jones' class who has "I love you" written in kohl pencil on her eyelids, hanging on every word... lol

Aragorn would have led outward bound/survival courses .... or been an assessor for the Duke of Edinburgh's Award scheme...

[The Perky Ent]

I've got one! Qwaihir's Eagle Travel Agency! Visit fine locations such as Isengard, the Misty Mountains, Mount Doom, Erebor, and the Black Gate.

[Morsul the Dark]

Bilbo a notorious cat burglar

Saruman would be one of those creepy janitors after he lost his power Aragorn a tour Guide Arwen would be a librarian and Treebeard would be the next American Idle

[InklingElf]

Dwarves would be pawn shop dealers. Or engineers and architects.

[Morsul the Dark]

Legalos woud be a supermodel

[Elven Hunter]

Originally Posted by Feared Half-Elf

Legolas should be on one of those shampoo adverts. Predictable, I know.

I totaly agree with you. Then Aragorn would be the bad example of hair while Legolas would be the one using the shampoo.

I think Gimli could be one of those pest killers who goes into people's houses.

[Morai]

I see Gimli as one of those people who carves pretty sculptors out of wood, or maybe a miner. Perhaps one of those salespeople in tourist traps?

[Elven Hunter]

I see Elrond as a host for his own game show.

Gollum might get a spot in the show "Tales from the Crypt Keeper".

Eowyn might become a pro skateboarder.

The balrog will be a mascot for chicken barbeque.

[Morsul the Dark]

The Balrog would be the new energy efficient light on the stue of liberty
Legalos would be a camp counciler and teach kids archery and sewing

Sam Arwen and Pippin would form a singing group called S.A.M.

Arwen would be the next Martha Stewart

Eowyn would fight for women's rights

Bilbo would be the Don for the notorious Baggins Crime Family

[Elven Hunter]

Originally Posted by Morsul the Dark

Sam Arwen and Pippin would form a singing group called S.A.M.

Nice one, but do you mean Sam, Arwen and Merry? Anyway, if that were true then Merry won't be happy without Pippin because they're like peanut butter and jelly.. Or maybe Pippin could be their manager?.. Oh well..

I could just imagine Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir and Legolas forming a Boy Band.
They might call themselves the FABuLous 4.

[Morsul the Dark]

yes I did mean merry it was 2:30 in the morning so I was basiclly half asleep

a boy band heh

[turgon]

Saruman would be a loan agent for a bank.
Balrogs could direct traffic- I can see it now someone steals a redlight and CRACK a flaming whip demos the car.
I don't know why but I see gandalf in a rehab for alcoholics As bilbo offers a drink "DO NOT TEMPT ME"
Orcs would work as garbage men it would cut back on landfills as they would eat half of what they get.
Denethor of Gondor would be a school principle.
The nazgul would be lawyers(I wonder who would show for jury duty?)
And finally Sauron could be a lifeguard at a beach

[Maeggaladiel]

Denethor would be the president/CEO of some major company, Boromir would be VP, and Faramir would be secretary/janitor who drives around the facility in the janitorial golf cart wearing the grease-stained blue jumpsuit and goofy hat, pushing a mop around and taking phone messages. He'd also be in charge of restocking Boromir's personal vending machine. Family businesses, gotta love 'em!

Aragorn would be the
a) unemployed bum standing at the corner holding the "UNEMPLOYED FUTURE KING- PLEASE HELP" sign.
b) guy who wanders the country in a beat-up trailor selling magazines to buy gas
c) a combination of a and b.

[Umwë]

*Pippin would be a waiter, a clumsy one. :P
*Saruman, as I've already seen Eomer of the Rohirrim also thougt, would be elected as president, of course using some his mindcontrol.
*Gandalf would probably be a partyfixer. Setting up the music and fireworks especially.
*Legolas, some kind of model for really thight pants.
*Witchking, selling tupperware by doorknocking. (Maybe not a good career cause of his outfit. :P But anyway, I would laugh if he came to my door , or not. :P)

[Morai]

Denethor of Gondor would be a school principle.

That makes me think of Elrond being a Playground supervisor. Can't you see him blowing his whistle every time:

• He sees elves swinging too high on the swings because they're so light
• He sees an orc running up a slide
• He sees Rohan boys launching paper airplanes at the orcs from the top of the "Big Toy"

[Naz]

Originally Posted by Morsul the Dark

Samwise Gamgee would be a TV Star

He would be the fifth Iron Chef

Iron Chef French Sakai
Iron Chef Japanese Mitsubitsi
Iron chef Chinese Kenici
Iron Chef Italian Kobe
and making is debue into kitchen stadium Iron Chef Shire Samwise Gamgee

*DIES* That's hilarious! (I actually did a story where Sam went to Kitchen Stadium^ ^;; )

Eomer & the Mounties^ ^

Merry would open a speciality tobacco store

Pip would be on a Food Channel show

Gandalf would sell toffees

Frodo would become a psychiastrist

[Morai]

Pip would be on a Food Channel show

I see him as one of those crazed fans that runs on set while the camera is running. Then Pippin would proceed to take all the carrots and mushrooms he can find in the kitchen cabinets and run off stage again.
The helpless chef would cry out "HEY I NEED THAT FOR MY AWARD WINNING STEW!"