I hope this is a joke...

[Nilaraniel]

Hey yall.

I haven't been here in probably a year or so...been busy with school, work, all that icky stuff, you know. Anyway, a friend told me about this website that really had her MAD. I don't know if any of you have been to see it...but I am seriously hoping that whoever wrote this is joking and I just haven't seen where he/she says "Haha this website is a JOKE"

Check it out...but be prepared. It will have you wanting to strangle someone. Sure, I have no problem when people give me a good reason they think LOTR sucks, but they better have something to back it up with, something better than the crap this guy makes up.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

PLEASE somebody tell me this was a huge big joke or I may cry at the ignorance that seems to be spreading throughout the world...

Nilaraniel

[Gorwingel]

I have seen this website before, and don't worry, it is not serious at all. It is just all in parody. I personally don't think this is one of the best comic things related to LOTR, but it is okay. So just read it, enjoy it, and have an enjoyable time

And besides just look at the name of the website: Pointlesswasteoftime.com
Do you really think a serious website would actually have a name like that?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Yes, it's all a huge joke. I recommend the comparison of The Lord of the Rings, The Matrix and Star Wars.

Parody isn't always clearly marked as such. Sometimes you just have to look at what's being said and ask yourself if it's satirising its own message. In this case, it's pretty obvious that it is.

[Saraphim]

Yes, this was a parody, I've seen it before, and had to convince my friend not to hunt this individual down and skin him alive.

Although I wonder about this myself:

The Hobbits both 1) refuse to wear shoes and 2) run a livestock-based farming economy. Wouldn't they constantly be stepping in crap?

I suppose they just learn to avoid it...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

It's been awhile since I saw this site, and I enjoyed some great laughs looking through it again! Thanks for reminding us of that link!

[Gil-Galad]

Speaking of Orcs...

The Orcs were obviously stolen from PC game maker Blizzard and its Warcraft series. Too bad Blizzard is apparently too scared to sue New Line over it.

not true, tolkien made orcs before this game came out! (1993)


Gold: The Stretchy Element.

The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.
tolkien did say it happened in the book


Homage or theft II?

The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.


again, tolkien made this book before harry potter came out!

Homage or theft III?

The "travelling on our quest through a corn field" scene was stolen from Shrek.see above

and many other homage and theft things...that guy did very little research with the books...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Very funny. I also really liked the other pieces he wrote on Eminem, The Matrix and KaZaA. Rather close to my sense of humour, unfortunately it's a sense of humour that many people just don't understand.

[tar-ancalime]

Hilarious! I especially liked his "apology" to his detractors.

Thanks for pointing out this site.

[Mad Baggins]

Oh, I love that site.

[Gil-Galad]

about my previous thread, i was just pointing out obvious points that makes his decisons untrue, thus a parody

[Amanaduial the archer]

black crow spies and their black glass seeing ball inhabit their black towers and perform black magic. Gosh, I wonder if there's some symbolism there?

Foreboding! The word is 'foreboding'! Besides, what colour would you like your crows, essentially a black bird, to be?! A white crow could look just a wee bit out of place, doncha' think?

I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own

Along with the Gandalp one, that just made me laugh. Homer Simpson comes to mind...

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman

And the writer was accusing us of racism, then he goes straight forward and insults the French! And comes off as a homophobe! Dear me...*cough*hypocrisy*cough*

Number 20 somewhat reveals it as a spoof though..."Experts on the occult say in order for a wizard to floorspin a fully-grown man like Gandalf, he'd need three magical staffs, not two. " As do 27, 28, 29...oh pretty much everything from there upwards!

Brilliant. Most amusing.

[Nilaraniel]

I am so glad that it was a parody after all (I ended up going to the main page after I posted here and after reading what was there had convinced myself it was fake...or at least hoped and prayed it was!)...Reading through it made me pretty mad but I was thinking...surely there isn't anyone THIS stupid out there is there?!
Perhaps reading it at 2 in the morning is not the best thing either.
I have definetly seen much more amusing parodies on LOTR...this one's kind of sad actually, but pretty clever too. Specially since I got tricked into believing it the first time around!!!
Point and laugh, it's okay.
Hey, it's nice to be back here. I like the new layout and everything...think I might stick around a while.


Nilaraniel

[The Only Real Estel]

Originally posted by Gil-Galad:

about my previous thread, i was just pointing out obvious points that makes his decisons untrue, thus a parody

Oh, there's an obvious reason for everyone one of his posts to be parodies.

Perhaps your first post was when you had mistakingly confused the parody for an actual opinion?

[Lûthien Nénharma]

This individual really toasts my bread, whips my cream, fries my eggs. It is clearly noticeable that this individual has no morals, no imagination or even a clue about Lord of the Rings. For instance I am convinced that this person has only seen the FOTR and the TTT and has no idea that the books came out before the movie.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this kind of person who talks about something they have no clue about is called a MORON. Try to have a nice day.

[Carnimírië]

Heh heh, it's mildly amusing. Regarding the thing about "gold: the stretchy element," I am reminded of Isildur writing in his scroll "The Ring misseth, maybe, the heat of Sauron's hand, and it has cooled even as I write and it seemeth to shrink," to paraphrase.

[Kransha]

Originally Posted by Lûthien Nénharma

This individual really toasts my bread, whips my cream, fries my eggs. It is clearly noticeable that this individual has no morals, no imagination or even a clue about Lord of the Rings. For instance I am convinced that this person has only seen the FOTR and the TTT and has no idea that the books came out before the movie.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this kind of person who talks about something they have no clue about is called a MORON. Try to have a nice day.

You do know that this site is a parody, yes? A farse it is, and a good one too.

Actually, though this may be my inner cruelty and cold-heartedness, I most enjoyed the forums. Nearly every thread is some poor fool (I pity them) who thought that the site was real and meant for causticism. It's all very vulgar, and uncivilized, but funny to see who 'stand up' for Tolkien. Some of them are more ignorant than the fake persona of the site manufacturer, and have very poor attempts at rebuttal. I believe the single, most amusing thing was a thread in which a disgruntled poster systematically ran down every reason why the '50 Reasons Why LotR Suck" list was wrong and then another poster - who knew of the joke - posted a link to a definition of the word parody. The first, ignorant poster thought it was completely irrelevant *sheds a silent tear for foolishnesses past, ai*.

Actually, some of the things on the list are intriguing. Really, only a few. The comment about it being impossible to see when invisible was enlightening, since I'd never known that. Like a 'FUN FACT for the Day.' Also, I am now convinced that Sauron should have been played by Jimmy Carter.

[Gil-Galad]

Lûthien Nénharma, as stated before it is a parody, he may not even be a moron, only trying to get a few laughs...and estel, i knew it was a parody, i was just pointing out thinks that showed his lack of knowledge for his decisons why lotr movies sucked

[Son of Númenor]

i knew it was a parody, i was just pointing out thinks that showed his lack of knowledge for his decisons why lotr movies sucked

It isn't lack of knowledge. It is a parody.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I agree with Kransha about the 'invisibility' reason. That was actually very interesting to consider. Although I can surely just wait for a Downer well learned in physics to refute the claim.

On a far more crude level, I have to admit laughing out loud when reading the 'Arwen-immortality' reason.

[Lalaith]

I agree, mildly amusing.
Point ten about the eagles and the codicil about the balrog wings shows the author is clearly up-to-speed on Tolkienite debating issues. And of course, for many of us here on the Downs, Reason 13 is extremely valid and not a parody at all....

[HerenIstarion]

Ah, this one was even more than mildly amusing :

Aragorn uses his powers of persuasion to great effect, promising the dead army commander that, if they will risk possible death on behalf of Gondor, he will reward them with death

[Nilaraniel]

I tried to trick my dad last night...I printed out the webpage and pretended to be mad and went to go read him what the "moron" wrote...I died laughing through the FIRST reason and he instantly knew it was a parody...he loved it.
Watch who you call morons for believing it! I half-believed, but of course it WAS 2 in the morning and I may have been slightly drunk by that time... so I have an excuse right? Kidding, kidding... Anyway, glad my half-moronic self was able to get a fun thread started for once.

Nilaraniel

[Lathriel]

I know that it is a joke but I don't like that website. I think lots of the jokes are very lame. Howver I just ignore the website and try not to annoy myself about the stupid jokes they put on there.

[The Only Real Estel]

I thought a lot of them were funny too, these are just a few of my favorites:

Why, in part 1, is the black octopus creature painted as the bad guy when it attacks, when one of the fellowship had clearly been throwing rocks at it?

Why couldn't Frodo have been played by Christopher Walken?

(Any of us who have ever complained about the casting should never do so again !)

Why couldn't Bilbo have been played by Vin Diesel?

(See above)

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

(Gotta love that one, huh Lush?)

Gandalf's smoke boat at Bilbo's party is pretty impressive, but smoke cannot be made to travel horizontally, thus revealing it to be nothing but a cheap special effect.

Experts on the occult say in order for a wizard to floorspin a fully-grown man like Gandalf, he'd need three magical staffs, not two.

There really are to many, & I shouldn't be flooding the topic with things you guys can read for yourself, but I still liked those .

[Carnimírië]

Ok, I read it again, and this is more than mildly amusing:

Too many characters to keep track of. The dwarf was clearly only there as a token dwarf character to sell tickets to lucrative movie-going dwarf demographic. Lose him.

[Araréiel]

Ah yes, I was hoping this was still around! A lot of it is sadly semi-true. Like kids being forced to read a movie-version of the book. But I never saw Boromir played by two people, as said in #4. By the way, switching Darrens refers to Bewitched. The original Darren (Dick York) couldn't carry on the role, so they replaced him with a new guy (Dick Sargeant) without telling viewers. And, since they looked so much alike, most people didn't notice for a long time.

[One Axe to Rule them All]

I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.

You guessed it!

Okay, it was all fun and games until THIS happened

Too many characters to keep track of. The dwarf was clearly only there as a token dwarf character to sell tickets to lucrative movie-going dwarf demographic. Lose him.

I happen to be one of the lucrative movie-going dwarf lovers and his comments are greatly unappreciated!

[One of the Nine]

OK, I've heard of not liking LotR, but this guy HATES it with a burning passion! I feel like doing some spy work. I should register, you know, and then see what they think, then expose myself. They'll go nuts! Hehehehehe. I've always liked to be devious. BUT, nothing gets my blood boiling like a pack of lies about Frodo and Sam and his savvy bunch. SO, I shall have some fun with this whole stupid website of theirs! (where's the devil smiley when you need it!)

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

One of the Nine;

I don't understand how you can say he hates The Lord of the Rings. After all, us Barrowdowners parody the Rings all the time in Middle-earth Mirth. Do we hate it? Of course not.

[Mirkgirl]

It takes some interest in a matter to look at it closely enough to make a parody.(:

Altho a good deal of these are as lame as you can get, I have to admit there are some real chuckles, esp the french, the elven arrows secreting gland and the wizard unflamable facial hair. Maybe I'm easily amused but I'd rather stay so

[Kransha]

*ahem hoom hum* Remember, people, it's a parody. The proof is in the pudding.
I do believe he forgot some things, though. I say 'harumph' to such a credibility-lacking site, as it leaves much to be desired. Pour example...

1. Rowling vs. Tolkien: The Ringwraiths are an obvious rip-off of J.K.Rowling's Dementors. Just as Shelob is an apparent rip-off of Rowling's Aragog. Gollum is a rip-off of Rowling's character Dobby. Treebeard is a rip-off of Rowling's Whomping Willow. Hmm-hoom-hom-hum, disgraceful...And that's just Rowling rip-offs. (milord, my memory of that series is considerably less fresh than my memory of the LotR series itself. Well, one work of fiction must be subject to the overpowering grandeur of another).

3. The Lord of the Contact Lens: As a lidless eye, retenal functions for Sauron would be painful, and cause said eye to tear uncontrollably. Of course, the searing heat of the eye-flame would deter those tears. Sauron would've been more worried about manufacturing a giant contact lens than getting a ring that he couldn't wear, for lack of fingers. His optical control should have been put first.

4. Holiday Heroes Homogenized: For the bizarre 'adaptation' of the movies, entitled Lord of the Rings, the character 'Tom Bombadil' was a blatant rip-off of Santa Clause, Goldberry of Mrs. Clause, living happily in a forest rather than the North Pole. The Balrog of Moria is an equally blatant spinoff of the Easter Bunny, delivering fiery death rather than easily spoiling, brightly colored eggs.

[Silmiel of Imladris]

Gee...I haven't seen that site since about 2000 when it said it had 13 pages of the Attack of the Clones script that a Lucasfilm insider had stolen. That was one of there more serious indevours for they didn't make fun of Star Wars they just wanted people to believe that they had part of the script. I can't believe that site still exists.

[Orodoliel]

I think that whole site is hillarious, but probably best not take it too seriously !

[GARY-the-White]

he obviously set out to pick the movie completely apart

[One Axe to Rule them All]

It is funny to look at it and laugh with the guy who made it...

He obviously was making a good joke out of it and was not really trying to start something. Those that think otherwise need to be sacked.

[Pippin Pondlily]

I am so glad to happen upon this thread! My cousin read these out from the webpage back in December when ROTK was released. I laughed so incredibly hard and I have been trying to find it again for a while now. It's completely hilarious I laughed all over again re-reading them. It's really brilliant!

Thanks!

- P. Pondlily

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The thread would be of better quality (and a whole lot shorter) if everyone actually read the entire thread before posting.

Because (for approximately the 30th time) this site was a parody.

[Gil-Galad]

i counted 32nd on my count...

[Frodo2968thewhite]

ok, i know that the site was a parody, but the sad thing is, some of the people reading it actually believe what he's saying. go to the forum on the site! There are people actually saying and believing that PJ novelized the movie then PRETENDED that JRR Tolkien wrote it in the 50's!! HOW IGNORANT! i understand that it was meant to be a joke, but some jokes shouldn't go that far. especially # 13 on the site. way out of line. im sure "doctor oxford" meant no harm, just it kinda ticks me off that someone could HATE lord of the rings and THEN write a parody. its not exactly respectful. and the message board really got me going, but ill let it go. after all, what do they know? lol, hopefully nobody thinks im crazy for being a little ticked at this site.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I cannot understand why you would be ticked at it. I just do not fully understand some people. What is there left to discuss about this? Why is this thread still open?

Barrow-wight, end this madness. I beg you.