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08-14-2008, 11:48 PM | #121 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: midway upon... in a forest dark
Posts: 975
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tell them they just can't come in for tea, or for coffee, or for dinner, they are just too many.
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08-15-2008, 03:09 AM | #122 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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I'd ask them if they thought they were paying too much for their car insureance...
OR Say, "I'm not in at the moment; please leave a message after the beep... BEEP!"
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
08-15-2008, 01:10 PM | #123 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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I'd just ask them if they'd like to go swimming, and then take them to the inlet by the mud flats and let them go out there...(and if you know anything about mud flats, you know what happens next)
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-30-2008, 03:00 AM | #124 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 347
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Quote:
Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements. |
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08-30-2008, 08:17 AM | #125 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: midway upon... in a forest dark
Posts: 975
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Quote:
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08-30-2008, 09:17 AM | #126 |
Mellifluous Maia
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth
Posts: 3,489
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Tell my oldest daughter that, while her new group of friends is an improvement on the old one, they still aren't quite the sort I want her to associate with.
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09-01-2008, 11:58 AM | #127 | ||
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
Quote:
If I found them on MY front door, I'd call the newspaper... and ask them what the 'ell they were doing at my door.
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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09-02-2008, 09:40 AM | #128 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: midway upon... in a forest dark
Posts: 975
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I'd call the newspaper and have those orcs printed on the front page.
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09-02-2008, 01:29 PM | #129 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Open my back door and let the 200,000 elves out of my yard....
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
09-03-2008, 09:10 AM | #130 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: midway upon... in a forest dark
Posts: 975
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and when they start to kill each other, Narfforc, what do you do with the corpses?
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09-03-2008, 12:58 PM | #131 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Put them in my waste paper bin next to the U.F.O that somehow crashed into my roof last week....
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
09-03-2008, 01:56 PM | #132 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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I'd ask them if Verizon Wireless is their network!
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
09-04-2008, 10:55 PM | #133 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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I didn't know that orcs possessed cell phones... But apparently they do.
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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09-06-2008, 11:31 AM | #134 |
Deadnight Chanter
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Not exactly that many, and not exactly orks, and not exactly on my front door, but fly I did
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Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time! |
09-06-2008, 01:09 PM | #135 |
shadow of a doubt
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Back on the streets
Posts: 1,125
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Ah, you are from Georgia right? I hope the situation over there improves and that you and your family are and remain safe!
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"You can always come back, but you can't come back all the way" ~ Bob Dylan |
09-06-2008, 09:40 PM | #136 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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I second that, sad to see The Land of the Golden Fleece in such a predicament.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
09-17-2008, 08:50 PM | #137 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 347
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If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door I would probably be delighted, I mean Orcs at the door? That means they actually exist! That Hobbits actually exist! It would be wonderful!
I would revel in the glory of that for about 5 seconds, before an Orc knocked me out fo wearing such a silly grin on my face. |
09-18-2008, 03:27 AM | #138 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: midway upon... in a forest dark
Posts: 975
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"Rebolusyon! Rebolusyon!" cried the orcs...
Lend them to the red-head activists back in school who always clamor for more rally people to join. Will benefit me, having gotten rid of the orcs, will benefit the activists, who don't get too much people anymore on rallies, and will benefit the orcs by having an enemy. And my, I think our darling government may actually tremble, if 200,000 orcs came rallying against it.
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10-13-2008, 12:17 AM | #139 |
Pile O'Bones
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I think I'd want to know who I ****ed off, and how I ended up in the bad end of my wildest dreams...I'd then start looking for the elves that should be in the area
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Pale and fair oh gazing there, her reflection does it change.
The gleaming girl who there be waits, thinks what she sees is strange... |
10-13-2008, 04:01 PM | #140 |
Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
Posts: 3,928
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Set myself on fire, and jump off (somehow covering the distance in seconds).
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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12-15-2008, 01:22 AM | #141 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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I would have to try beating them to death with my wooden sword and then trying to push my grandparents out the back door and over the fence.... but they are real old so I would have to knock the fence down. We wouldn't get very far.
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Bloody Stumps!!! |
12-15-2008, 07:12 AM | #142 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,508
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If I found 200,000 orcs at my front door, I would...
call Orkin Pest Control: http://www.orkin.com/ Having Orcs on the premises is embarrassing (I mean, really, what would the neighbors say?), and Orc defecation is unsightly and unhealthy! So have your home sprayed biannually to eradicate those pesky Orc infestations.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
12-15-2008, 11:45 AM | #143 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Quote:
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Bloody Stumps!!! |
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12-17-2008, 04:33 PM | #144 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
Posts: 2,254
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200,000 orcs, huh?
Well, in that case, DANCE PARTY! It ought to be pretty fun with that many orcs involved.
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I ♣ baby seals. |
11-20-2010, 05:22 PM | #145 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,373
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Put a "closed, please come again tomorrow" sign on my door.
If that doesn't work, I'll ask them to prove that there really are 200,000 orcs there. That should give me time enough to think of something better.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera Last edited by Galadriel55; 11-20-2010 at 08:49 PM. |
11-20-2010, 07:37 PM | #146 |
Wight of the Old Forest
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Unattended on the railway station, in the litter at the dancehall
Posts: 3,329
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1) Take a photo through the window and post it on the "I see Middle-earth" thread.
2) Wonder if that's enough of them to change a light bulb. 3) Try to teach them how to play Fizzbin.
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Und aus dem Erebos kamen viele seelen herauf der abgeschiedenen toten.- Homer, Odyssey, Canto XI |
11-20-2010, 08:51 PM | #147 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,373
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Yeah, you could ask them to change a light bulb and slip away while they're at it. One reason for Sauron's army to be so big is that he doesn't have to many light bulbs
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
11-23-2010, 10:00 AM | #148 |
Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Serbia
Posts: 34
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If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would say:
"Hey guys,each of you owes me 10 dollars" ...just imagine how much money would I collect... ...LOL...naive suckers...what a greedy bastard I am...
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"...Aim for the moon,if you miss,you may hit a star..." -W.Clement Stone- |
11-23-2010, 11:53 AM | #149 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,373
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how long do you think it would take them to count the money that they owe?
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
11-25-2010, 02:32 PM | #150 | |
Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Serbia
Posts: 34
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Quote:
...it would all pay off...
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"...Aim for the moon,if you miss,you may hit a star..." -W.Clement Stone- Last edited by Almesiva Moonshadow; 11-25-2010 at 02:36 PM. |
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11-26-2010, 09:00 PM | #151 | |
Guardian of the Blind
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Where The Skies End
Posts: 899
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Can they count? |
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11-27-2010, 08:20 AM | #152 |
Wisest of the Noldor
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But Almesiva, what makes you think the Orcs would pay up? They're Orcs, after all.
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. |
11-27-2010, 06:18 PM | #153 | |
Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Serbia
Posts: 34
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Quote:
...and I cant seem to find the right answer...damnit... Okay,I admit...you beat me in this one...
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"...Aim for the moon,if you miss,you may hit a star..." -W.Clement Stone- Last edited by Almesiva Moonshadow; 11-27-2010 at 06:23 PM. |
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12-08-2010, 08:14 PM | #154 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,373
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If I found 200 000 orcs on my front door I'd send them all to hell. Or rather to Mordor? But Lothlorien may be a "better" hell for orcs...hmmm...which one would it be? I'll just say oh go to hell and leave it up to them to figure out where's their hell.
That brings up an interesting question: where would they go? Mordor Lothlorien Shelob's lair Minas Tirith/Anor Rivendell Doriath Anywhere near Gandalf Anywhere near Glorfindel Too near a Balrog Close to an angry Nazgul Fangorn Forest Haudh-en-Elleth Fingolfin's grave Being anywhere under sunlight (unless they are the Uruk-hai) Many more
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
07-10-2011, 10:10 PM | #155 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Behind you . . . . BOO!
Posts: 222
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*ahem* Go out the back door into the yard, start up the lawnmower, and charge them on the lawnmower wielding bow and arrow. I'd also take a moment to start my smartphone's mp3 music player up and play "I Am The Doctor" at maximum volume - since I'm sure anybody who's heard it would agree that it is the only appropriate music for such a feat.
Alternatively, I would curl up in a ball and scream like a little girl (something I am quite adept at). Yeah, probably that.
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Every human should have a cat or two in their care, to teach them the meaning of the word, and to correct them. Last edited by Bom Tombadillo; 07-10-2011 at 10:15 PM. |
09-10-2011, 07:31 PM | #156 |
Wight
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 165
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Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!
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09-10-2011, 07:37 PM | #157 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,373
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Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing.
Or, Tell them that they are only 199, 999. Or, Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
09-10-2011, 07:47 PM | #158 |
Wight
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 165
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Lol!!!!! I wouldn't say I'd be right back though!!!!!!
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09-10-2011, 08:28 PM | #159 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,373
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Why not? I mean, you can say it... Pulling a Fatty Bolger doesn't seem to be a bad idea (teaser teaser! "Books only" character!)
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
09-10-2011, 08:47 PM | #160 |
Wight
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 165
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I would sic my dog Cotton on em!
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