Sauron,Morgoth and Feanor hatred club

[Urwen]

Members: Miriel,Gorlim,Eilinel,Beren,Luthien,Huan,Finrod,Eo wyn,Nimrodel,Imrazor , Mithrellas,Urwen and whoever wants to insult Morgoth,Sauron or Feanor.
Weapons:words
Every member listed above should insult Sauron or Morgoth,or Feanor with one hundred words maximum

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

What should the rest of us do?

[The Might]

Okay I'll start.

Since I doubt that Huan would waste any of his three speaking chances with insults he would probably say:
Woof woof, woof woof woof!

[Eorl of Rohan]

How dare you insult my precious Feanor!
I shall invoke the DOOM of Doomity-doom upon thee for thy sacrilege!

Ooo, sparkly thing.

_is distracted and runs off in pursuit of the sparkling thing_

[Urwen]

Sacrilege ? All right,you. Tell Feanor to stop going after my Olwe!

[Eorl of Rohan]

Come on. How is Olwe's obsession with his plankwood Swanships any different from that of Feanor with his Silmarils?

The Kinslaying was his fault as well as that of Feanor. Leastways Silmarils *sparkle* prettily.

[Urwen]

FEANOR HAS EMPTY HEAD!!!!

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by Urwen

FEANOR HAS EMPTY HEAD!!!!

I'm deeply impressed by the sagacity of this insult.
Yeah, go on dissing Feanor. After all, he only made the Silmarils, palantíri and Feanorian lamps. Never mind he also invented the Tengwar and was the chief linguistic loremaster of his time. Clearly an empty head.
Whereas Olwe - are we ever told he actually did anything in his whole life? If not for his brother and his grandchildren, nobody would remember his name at all.

[the phantom]

I'm betting you would gain far more support if you were to start a Sauron, Melkor, and Feanor fan club.

[Pitchwife]

Sauron, on the other hand, simply begs to be thrashed.
The lieutenant of Morgoth, former commander of Angband, necromancer and lord of werewolves - bested by a girl and her dog. Pathetic.
Afterwards, he got lucky for a while with the Númenóreans, but his worst ever decision was the making of the Ring. "I want to rule the whole world and become unvincible, so I'll put a whole lot of my power into a detachable object that I'm bound to lose sooner or later for the first halfwit halfling who passes by to pick it up. And to be sure, I'll base the foundations of my impregnable fortress and everything else on this thing so that my whole kingdom crumbles to bits when something untoward happens to it." Pure stroke of genius.

[the phantom]

Garbage, Pitchy.

He wasn't bested by a girl and her dog. The girl fainted when he got close, where as Huan, the great and mighty hound of Valinor, attacked Sauron from behind while Sauron was under the influence of drowsy-dust from Luthien's cloak. So Huan had on his side both the initial upper-hand as well as the fact that he was fated not to lose, plus Sauron was in a different form than usual which had to be slightly awkward.

And "lucky" with the Numenoreans? Ha! Try brilliant and evil. That was a masterpiece.

And his ring was genius! Remember- Frodo DID NOT DESTROY THE RING!! He couldn't! No one could willingly do so! The only reason Sauron got destroyed was divine intervention essentially- setting up the perfect situation where someone would *rolls eyes* trip and fall into the cracks of doom.

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by the phantom

The girl fainted when he got close

Which only goes to prove that he had halitosis too.

Originally Posted by the phantom

plus Sauron was in a different form than usual which had to be slightly awkward.

I'll concede that. First time wolf syndrome can be tough. We've all been through that, haven't we?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

I'll concede that. First time wolf syndrome can be tough. We've all been through that, haven't we?

*dies*

Originally Posted by the phantom

He wasn't bested by a girl and her dog. The girl fainted when he got close, where as Huan, the great and mighty hound of Valinor, attacked Sauron from behind while Sauron was under the influence of drowsy-dust from Luthien's cloak. So Huan had on his side both the initial upper-hand as well as the fact that he was fated not to lose, plus Sauron was in a different form than usual which had to be slightly awkward.

Uh-uh. Huan and Luthien still bested him, tp. Okay, there were extenuating circustances. They WON. He LOST.

By way of illustration–

Scene: Morgoth's throneroom, Thangorodrim. Enter Sauron.

Morgoth (with icy menace): Well, Sauron. I'm surprised you dare show your face around here, after making a complete laughingstock of the forces of darkness. I still can't believe you lost to a girl and a dog!

Sauron (clears throat): Lost? What are you talking about, your Majesty? Actually, I won.

Morgoth (taken aback): You won? Rumour has it that the dog had you by the throat. Besides, what happened to Tol-in-Gaurhoth, then?

Sauron: Ah, but your Majesty, when you consider all the disadvantages I was under– Luthien's magic, the dog's sneak-attack, me not being in my usual form– not to mention fate being against me– you'll see that really I did win. On points, your Majesty.

Morgoth: That's it. You're fired!

Hurls Iron Crown at him. Exit Sauron, hurriedly.

THE END.

See?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

The lieutenant of Morgoth, former commander of Angband, necromancer and lord of werewolves - bested by a girl and her dog. Pathetic.

Sexist.

[Nerwen]

And caninist!

If that's a word.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

And caninist!

If that's a word.

I think it has to be - cynophobia seems to cover only fear of dogs.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

But are caninist stories caninical??

[mormegil]

I understand and am sensitive to the plight of those who have OCD...with that said, Feanor takes this malady to a new and ridiculous extreme. Could you imagine having Feanor be a coworker. If the stapler was 1/18 of an inch out of alignment he would notice and it would bother him and he would embark on some fool quest until the stapler was fixed. Look at the way the buffoon undertook the foolhardy mission to take back his precious shinny stones. I mean really any novelty shop should have similar stones in stock.

My parents often told me I had a one track mind as a child but at least that track could be changed from time to time, with Feanor one that track was on, it stuck and nothing would ever change it.

Now Sauron, let's think, oh yes can you imagine him brooding..."I"m going to make the most powerful weapon ever. I shall pour my whole spirit and malice into it. With this I shall become more powerful than ever. I shall make a...*thinking* mace, no that's too obvious, ummm impregnable armor, nah too easy, *snaps his fingers* I've got it *says aloud " I'll make a ring" *all goblins look at him questioningly* How silly a concept to put all your power in one object. Can you imagine going to your financial advisor and saying "Yes sir, I'd like to put all my money in General Motors".

Melkor, the hippies worst nightmare. He snuck into Valinor and could have caused some actual causalities but nooooo he attacks trees...Munchie and Petal are severely traumatized but really trees reproduce so let's not worry about that. He's a sub-par villain at best whose only real claim to fame is that it took him a long time to sufficiently raise the ire of his superiors.

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by Esty

But are caninist stories caninical??

*suffocates from laughing fit*

Originally Posted by morm

If the stapler was 1/18 of an inch out of alignment he would notice and it would bother him and he would embark on some fool quest until the stapler was fixed.

Exactly. Who else would come close to starting a kinstrife over the correct pronunciation of þ (see the Shibboleth)? So it seems Feanor's second name was... Monk?! *ROFL*

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

But are caninist stories caninical??

*groan* You should be up lined up in front of a canin for that pun.

[Blind Guardian]

Hilarious

Yes, Sauron put all of his will in to GM :P LOL