What do you assign to Mordor?

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

Rock singers who think they can sing traditional Christmas Carols.

I will both agree and disagree with you on that one.

For instance, Bob Seger's renditon of 'Little Drummer Boy' is strained and I hate hearing it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S50cf3xIb50

However, Simon and Garfunkel's version of 'Silent Night/Seven O'clock News' is absolutely brilliant, particularly with the addition of tragic news headlines in juxtaposition to the calm, peaceful carol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcGBcJKalrQ

Of course, there are an equal number of dreadful Christmas songs mucked up by Country and Western performers and by any number of Pop performers. Aside from performers trying their hand at traditional Christmas Classics, I would have to say there are a number of Rock performers who wrote some of the greatest modern Christmas songs, ones that will certainly stand up with anything Bing Crosby crooned or Nat King Cole embraced in velvety intonation:

Jethro Tull --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdalBvgNAxI

Emerson, Lake and Palmer --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRkOw...eature=related

And of course, John Lennon --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBfEGETyGjs

P.S. Oh, and how can I forget the wonderfully drunken 'Fairytale of New York' by the Pogues (warning: some yuletide obscenity) --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjEIP...eature=related

[Lalwendë]

Hmmm, rock stars and traditional Christmas songs and carols (there is a difference between a Christmas song and a carol ). Some to make you change your mind:

Steeleye Span - Gaudete - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lN9AJj...eature=related

Mike Oldfield - In Dulce Jubilo - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=atD18otb95o

However, maybe controversially, i send to Mordor the sort of Christmas song that's designed to make you feel guilty, things like Do They Know It's Christmas. Aside from the fact it's a ruddy awful dirge of a 'song', the lyrics are dumb and I resent Bob Geldof ruining my Christmas by telling me to give him my you-know-what-ing money.

And on the subject of people who kick cats, I'd more than send to Mordor anyone who kicked my cats...they'd end up in the Void!

[Inziladun]

Morthoron

P.S. Oh, and how can I forget the wonderfully drunken 'Fairytale of New York' by the Pogues (warning: some yuletide obscenity)

Now that is a good one. I don't care much for The Pogues, but Kirsty MacColl can make anything listenable.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Andsigil

Cretins driving cars with loud bass systems through your neighborhood. If that's not an invention of Mordor...

Every other jeepney (our main transport service, and one I have to ride every single day of my life) has a loud bass system blasting some rap or other form of music I or the other passengers can't appreciate. Now riding in that for an hour or so is surely like going on a field trip to Mordor.

Skippy: Hmm, I'll just say, we'll slaughter that lovely little pig we spent three months feeding to get its meat so that it can be served for Christmas dinner (as a lechon baboy, one of my all-time favorites!!). It isn't cruel or evil or some such word, because that's the whole point of feeding that pig and bathing it and buying meds for it for months. But I was a member of an animal whatnot society, and one of our main points, don't do needless cruel things to anything. Your pet, your neighbor, your seatmate in bio, your neighbor's pet, your dead formaldehyde-filled frog at bio, your suckling pig which you will slaughter for Christmas.

Groin: In this country you'd have to search really hard and long to find decent carolers. Well, maybe not that hard, if you live on campus, then you might just want to go to the Conservatory. But if you watch TV or listen to the radio you'd get to hear Christmas carols both local and international, sung very horridly by those who pose as "rock bands."

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

And on the subject of people who kick cats, I'd more than send to Mordor anyone who kicked my cats...they'd end up in the Void!

You go Lal!

I assign nassty projects that never seem to get done, so that I have to sneak my Downs time!

[Oddwen]

On a similar tangent, I would like to assign simple carols that get big-banded, Vegas-ized, jauntified or have their delivery otherwise...changed. The only one allowed to do that type of thing is Richard Cheese, thank you very much.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

P.S. Oh, and how can I forget the wonderfully drunken 'Fairytale of New York' by the Pogues (warning: some yuletide obscenity)

I heard this blasting in a chain bookstore recently and expressed my amusement to the girls I was with. "Don't they know how many curse words there are in this?" "They don't listen to any of the words," they responded.

And then I happily hummed what follows, "You're a bum, you're a punk-"

[Inziladun]

Feanor of the Peredhil

Peredhil Quote:
Originally Posted by Morthoron
P.S. Oh, and how can I forget the wonderfully drunken 'Fairytale of New York' by the Pogues (warning: some yuletide obscenity)

I heard this blasting in a chain bookstore recently and expressed my amusement to the girls I was with. "Don't they know how many curse words there are in this?" "They don't listen to any of the words," they responded.

And then I happily hummed what follows, "You're a bum, you're a punk-"

The store probably had no idea what songs they were playing. Most of the time they just broadcast from satelliite radio and such.
Good thing you stopped with that line, Feanor.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

The store probably had no idea what songs they were playing. Most of the time they just broadcast from satelliite radio and such.
Good thing you stopped with that line, Feanor.

Good thing the store didn't play the song 'Bottle of Smoke' from the same album. I believe the lyrics of that tune set a Guinness record for use of a certain naughty word. But somehow, coming from Shane MacGowan, it seems applicable and not forced...almost natural.

I assign Rap music. Personally, I see no redeeming quality in the genre.

[Inziladun]

Morthoron

I assign Rap music. Personally, I see no redeeming quality in the genre.

Musical beauty is, I guess, in the ear of the beholder, but I have to agree. I most highly value strong, clear melodies and lyrical wit, and that style seems to possess neither. By all appearances it most emphasizes volume and crudity, and I'm not at all impressed by the 'rhythm' prowess of the performers.
To be fair, I have an equal dislike for some other forms, notably country and R & B.

[Lalwendë]

*hides her many rap CDs*

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

*hides her many rap CDs*

Alas, even fair Lalwende has succumbed to the wicked wiles of the Dark Lord!

*Prepares the crucifixes, chrisms, holy water and wooden stakes*

Now, my dear Lal, this will only hurt for a moment...

'The harmony of the Beatles compels you! The power of Zeppelin compels you! The lyricism of Dylan compels you!'

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

Musical beauty is, I guess, in the ear of the beholder, but I have to agree. I most highly value strong, clear melodies and lyrical wit, and that style seems to possess neither. By all appearances it most emphasizes volume and crudity, and I'm not at all impressed by the 'rhythm' prowess of the performers.
To be fair, I have an equal dislike for some other forms, notably country and R & B.

Now Inziladun, if you happen to find an interesting artist/s who suit perfectly well what you have written, pray tell them to little Lindale. Because if it's poetry you're trying to find, or at least lyrical wit, I think you have to search real hard on the contemporary setting.

Oh on the note of the rap, this morning I had to ride a jeep blasting some rap music at an earsplitting level. If I wasn't the poor girl I am I would have gotten down and ridden another jeep to school. I had to endure it for roughly an hour.

[Inziladun]

Lindale

Now Inziladun, if you happen to find an interesting artist/s who suit perfectly well what you have written, pray tell them to little Lindale. Because if it's poetry you're trying to find, or at least lyrical wit, I think you have to search real hard on the contemporary setting.

I never said they had to be contemporary. As it happens, I agree that good, new music seems to be getting scarce.
I like Oasis quite a bit, but they rely so heavily on older influences that they probably don't qualify as contemporary. Most of the stuff I like is older: Beatles, Kirsty MacColl, The Housemartins, and my all time favorite, Blur.

[Lindale]

I think I know only one Beatles song, the Elanor something. Discussed it on a poetry class, together with Simon and whatnot's Sound of Silence and their version of Silent Night/7 o'clock news. Yeah, music lovers are likely to burn me now in Mordor with Inquisition tools. But I've always been fond of instrumentals. Only genre I've liked consistently.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Alas, even fair Lalwende has succumbed to the wicked wiles of the Dark Lord!

*Prepares the crucifixes, chrisms, holy water and wooden stakes*

Now, my dear Lal, this will only hurt for a moment...

'The harmony of the Beatles compels you! The power of Zeppelin compels you! The lyricism of Dylan compels you!'

Yeah but if you listen to De La Soul they have Steely Dan and Johnny Cash samples

[Lalaith]

I assign Rap music. Personally, I see no redeeming quality in the genre.

The Message.
That is all.
Dylan, on the other hand...he is my Marmite. As in, lots of people seem to like it but I just don't get it.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Yeah but if you listen to De La Soul they have Steely Dan and Johnny Cash samples

Lal, samples are what is offered by a pimply clerk with a plastic spork in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store. Samples do not constitute an actual meal, like one prepared by a master chef.

Originally Posted by Lalaith

The Message. That is all.

And the message that is imparted is...what? Pimpin' ho's and drinkin' on gin and juice (wif' mah mind on mah money and mah money on mind).

Brilliant.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. I guess the message sounds better with a droning drum machine and three notes on a keyboard repeated over and over.

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Dylan, on the other hand...he is my Marmite. As in, lots of people seem to like it but I just don't get it.

Would you like to hear the first rap song ever, and one with an actual message? Try this from the mid-1960's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAbtg9dz5P0

[Oddwen]

Very very very very audacious shoplifters. You've gone too far this time.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Very very very very audacious shoplifters. You've gone too far this time.

I was assigned in my Creative Writing class to write a short less-than-500-words work on the subject. It's found on my blog, provided on my sig, entitled Lessons. My latest attempt to produce good literature, that I assign to Mordor.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Lal, samples are what is offered by a pimply clerk with a plastic spork in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store. Samples do not constitute an actual meal, like one prepared by a master chef.

Now now. I'd lay money that you like Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, and that's full of the sneaky things

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. I guess the message sounds better with a droning drum machine and three notes on a keyboard repeated over and over.

What if the three notes and drum machine don't even have any lyrics? I had better not inflict any Nightmares On Wax or Sweet Exorcist on you

I assign trying to give directions to people over the phone when they do not know the difference between uphill and downhill.

[Nerwen]

How to spot Tolkien fans, Lesson One:

Originally Posted by Lindale

I think I know only one Beatles song, the Elanor something.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Now now. I'd lay money that you like Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, and that's full of the sneaky things

Bah! Alright, I will back off from my previously rigid stance. But only for the holidays...in keeping with the season and all.

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

What if the three notes and drum machine don't even have any lyrics? I had better not inflict any Nightmares On Wax or Sweet Exorcist on you

I don't care for any three chord repetition, whether it be rap or rock or some esoteric Phillip Glass or John Cage composition. A guitar has an entire fretboard and a keyboard has a full set of keys. One shouldn't limit oneself to just three chords, unless you're the Kinks pre-1968.

[Lalaith]

Pimpin' ho's and drinkin' on gin and juice (wif' mah mind on mah money and mah money on mind).

Tsk. You misunderstand. I use caps for a reason. The Message, by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. One of the first, and still the best, rap songs, a searing and poetic indictment of social injustice and the poverty trap in 80s New York.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3kRuJhIVIo

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Women that just takes and takes, what more is they manipulate you to think it is you who actually want to give it away. . . I am of course talking about my hairdresser who cut of my wonderful hair.

I just wanted to look my best for The Julefrokost-season and instead I end up feeling slightly insecure because of this short short hair.

[Lindale]

Don't worry, Rune, it's just this year. Hair grows back, remember?

I assign to Mordor that I can't figure out The Might's quote in the Palantir of Fortune game, despite having almost all the words figured out. It's driving me nuts.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

I am of course talking about my hairdresser who cut of my wonderful hair.

No! Not the hair!

[Lindale]

Very untimely storms and rains. Uggh! Still raining even in the cold dry season! Imagine celebrating Christmas or going Christmas shopping or partying while it's raining like it's the height of June in tropical Philippines.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Lindale

Very untimely storms and rains.

I second that. It's supposed to be summer down here!

[Kath]

Imagine celebrating Christmas or going Christmas shopping or partying while it's raining like it's the height of June in tropical Philippines.

No need for imagination, that's how those of us in England spend Christmas every year!

I assign hurting your back with absolutely no idea how you've done it. Not only are you in pain, you're constantly running over everything you did recently to try and work out what caused it!

[Oddwen]

I assign second-guessing myself...it's very frustrating when I realize I'm doing it, and then my mind will go into overdrive third and fourth-guessing myself, until I realize I was right the first time.

[Nerwen]

I assign losing another of my cats. At least this one had a long life. I'm still going to miss him, though.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Kath

I assign hurting your back with absolutely no idea how you've done it. Not only are you in pain, you're constantly running over everything you did recently to try and work out what caused it!

Maybe you slept in a wrong position the night before. Happens often to me.

Aww, Nerwen, that's just sad.

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by Kath

No need for imagination, that's how those of us in England spend Christmas every year!

Yep.

In fact, I assign it raining absolutely all day yesterday and most of all the other other days this week. I haven't seen the sky for almost a month!

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I don't care for any three chord repetition, whether it be rap or rock or some esoteric Phillip Glass or John Cage composition. A guitar has an entire fretboard and a keyboard has a full set of keys. One shouldn't limit oneself to just three chords, unless you're the Kinks pre-1968.

I'll agree with you if you're talking Status Quo (possibly one of the most cheesy, over-rated rock bands ever), but done well, being minimalist works wonders - and the end results are often not entirely different to pieces of music made involving as many notes as possible - see Atmospheres by Ligeti for an example of that!

EDIT
I've just seen what won X Factor this year and I send Simon Cowell not only to Mordor but to The Void. The cover version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah they've done is so awful, I can't even speak about it on here without cursing....

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I'll agree with you if you're talking Status Quo (possibly one of the most cheesy, over-rated rock bands ever), but done well, being minimalist works wonders - and the end results are often not entirely different to pieces of music made involving as many notes as possible - see Atmospheres by Ligeti for an example of that!

Well, conversely, I will agree that overly ornate music (pretension for pretension's sake) is as annoying as simplicity without purpose (or talent).

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

EDIT
I've just seen what won X Factor this year and I send Simon Cowell not only to Mordor but to The Void. The cover version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah they've done is so awful, I can't even speak about it on here without cursing....

How sad, particularly since the renditions by John Cale (from the movie Shrek, of all places) or Jeff Buckley are both glorious. But Simon Cowell, as musically aware as he is puported to be, is rather ignorant when it comes to musical knowledge as far as I've seen. I imagine he listened to light-weight New Wave (like Depeche Mode or Duran Duran) and Broadway show tunes as a teenager. He was the type I'd have mocked in school. What a poseur.

We could probably start a separate thread dedicated to the worst cover songs ever recorded.

I'd assign Devo's 'Satisfaction' (Keith Richards would be rolling in his grave if he were dead -- or is he?) to Mordor for starters.

[Lalwendë]

Check out his track record of artists he signed on Wikipedia, it doesn't bode well for him having anything approaching 'taste'. I hate the whole thing of these 'talent' shows - it's just like karaoke. Yuk.

I'd also send to Mordor this thing where people like a singer "because they have a good voice". Well, Jeffrey Archer might have a nice typewriter but it doesn't mean his novels are worth reading, does it?

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Eönwë

In fact, I assign it raining absolutely all day yesterday and most of all the other other days this week. I haven't seen the sky for almost a month!

Hmmm. Me too. It would have been a lovely sight tonight, the moon even in its gibbous state. I can actually glimpse the moonlight outside, but only bits of it. Moonrise over the mountains have never looked more awful than when there are clouds blocking it.

[Mithalwen]

I assign my sister whose contribution to the festivities was one bottle of wine and a few cupcakes and is steadily working her way through the fridge and drinks cabinet. She does nothing (or seems to think that we have house elves who will wash up if crockery is dumped in the kitchen). So she doesn't shop, cook, pay for anything, do the driving, or even help clear the table but just expects me to do all the work and my dad to foot the bill.

So when she asked if there were plans for today there wasn't much response. Lying on the sofa, watching old films and eating chocolate was plan enough for me.

Sorry I had to rant there or risk causing WW3 on the home front.

[Lalwendë]

I assign vacuous, gossipping office heifers to Mordor. Some horrid woman just came round to gossip with a new colleague and started to talk about something offensive so she suddenly started to whisper - like I am DEAF?!