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06-01-2006, 04:50 PM | #1 |
Laconic Loreman
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Worst possible casting choices
We've all seen threads of the "fantasy cast" for the movies, or for the Silmarillion...etc. But what about the worst possible choices for actors in the movies? I'm putting this in the Mirth thread, because I think it would fit best here, and it's intended to have more light-hearted/fun with it.
So, for me some things I thought of is Al Pacino as Saruman. I mean I can just imagine when Saruman casts the fireball at Gandalf Pacino saying "Say 'ello to my lil fren'." And Keeanu Reeves casted as any of the male roles would be bad too. Just because he is one of the worst actors I've ever had the displeasure of seeing in the movies. He isn't the worst actor I've seen but, he's definitely one of them. Plus I don't think Jack Black would make a good Gimli. Anyway, what are some of your choices as far as who would you not choose to cast as a role in the movies.
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06-01-2006, 05:01 PM | #2 |
Twisted Taleswapper
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How about William Shatner as Gandalf....Just picture him on the edge of the bridge yelling..:You...Shall not....pass!" with all his famous pauses and poses. Freaking Hilarious!
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grand return?........ |
06-01-2006, 05:11 PM | #3 |
A Mere Boggart
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John Prescott as Boromir? Thrashing through the woods with his fists held aloft? Or would he make a good Bullroarer Took with his croquet skills? Perhaps that piece of casting is too good.
Tony Blair could be Aragorn and play him in a whining, wounded kind of style, while George Bush could be Gandalf, who Aragorn looks up to, so it would reflect real life. David Cameron could be Gimli, the political dwarf. And Anne Widdecombe could be a particularly frightening Galadriel
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06-01-2006, 05:29 PM | #4 |
Corpus Cacophonous
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... or John Prescott as Elrond, holding out in the Last Homely Grace and Favour Mansion ...
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06-01-2006, 06:54 PM | #6 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
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Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-04-2011 at 12:01 AM. |
06-01-2006, 08:19 PM | #7 |
Maundering Mage
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The most nefarious elf of all time, Maeglin, played by Pauly Shore .
Rosie O'Donnell as the beautiful Luthien and her lover Beren played by Jean Claude Van Damme
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
06-01-2006, 10:23 PM | #8 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Sean Connery as S[ch]aruman. Tom Hanks as Aragorn.
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peace
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06-02-2006, 12:49 AM | #9 |
Reflection of Darkness
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Frodo: Tobey McGuire
Sam: Jake Gyllenhaal Merry: Seth Meyers Pippin: Tom Green Gandalf: Woody Allen Legolas: Paul Walker Gimli: John Goodman Aragorn: John Travolta Boromir: Jim Carrey Saruman: Robert DeNiro Arwen: Lindsay Lohan Eowyn: Paris Hilton Elrond: Al Pacino Eomer: Brendan Frasier Faramir: Keanu Reeves Denethor: Jon Lovitz Galadriel: Reese Witherspoon Theoden: Jim Broadbent Wormtongue: Christopher Walken Gollum: David Spade
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06-02-2006, 01:57 AM | #10 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Rowan Atkinson as Gollum
French and Saunders as Arwen and Galadriel Mr Ed as Shadowfax and if he had been in the film Jonathon Ross as Wadagast of Wossgobble
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. Last edited by narfforc; 06-02-2006 at 02:02 AM. |
06-02-2006, 04:57 AM | #11 |
Laconic Loreman
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Valier, you just reminded me on Family Guy when they made fun of Star Trek..."Straight ahead....Mr....Suluu."
Diamond that was a stroke of genius. Gary Cole as Elrond.... "Oh Frodo, did you get the memo? Ya, you're going to need to destroy the ring by Tuesday...that would be gre-a-t. And I'll just get you another copy of that memo, r-i-ght."
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06-02-2006, 05:21 AM | #12 | |
Shade of Carn Dűm
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Marilyn Manson as Frodo: He would have looked completely out of place in the Shire!
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06-02-2006, 11:28 AM | #13 |
Drummer in the Deep
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I'd pay to see Dane Cook as the minstrel of Gondor.
"HELLOOOO, FIELD OF CORMALLEN! This is my show, I'm on the drum in the deep! I'm on the drum! By a round of applause, how do you feel? Huh? So, how about this Frodo dude, huh? He got a Ring of power...man, I want a Ring of power! I want that! I'd put it on and be all invisible, and spy out all the la-dies, ya know, and I'd sneak up behind people and PWAM! *throws himself across the stage* And I'd walkaround going "Preciousssssssssssssssssss!! Precioussssssssss!" Yeah, I want a Ring of power! GANDALF, GIMMIE YOUR RING!" *He snatches it from Gandalf, rips his shirt off and runs screaming off the stage* That would be hilarious. Tom Hanks as Saruman Jim Carrey as the Mouth of Sauron Brad Pitt as Denethor
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06-02-2006, 11:43 AM | #14 |
Maundering Mage
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The late Chris Farley as Tom Bombadil
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
06-02-2006, 11:55 AM | #15 |
Dead Serious
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Some totally wrong 'Downers, anybody?
the Phantom as Sam.
the Saucepan Man as Denethor. Diamond as Arwen. The Squatter of Amon Rűdh as Bill Ferny. I'm sure there are many others that could be come up with.
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06-02-2006, 01:50 PM | #16 |
Pilgrim Soul
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For starters .....
Pippin and Merry
Gollum Warning: Some downers, including a grown man, have found this picture distressing. Elrond Galadriel Denethor
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace Last edited by Mithalwen; 06-03-2006 at 05:42 AM. |
06-02-2006, 02:06 PM | #17 |
Pilgrim Soul
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace Last edited by Mithalwen; 06-02-2006 at 02:14 PM. |
06-02-2006, 08:46 PM | #18 |
Maundering Mage
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
06-02-2006, 10:36 PM | #19 | |
Eidolon of a Took
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Quote:
Truly, I wish nothing more than a cameo as Diamond. You know, at the end, at Sam's wedding, you all know that's Diamond Pip's grinning at! *this moment of squeeing Pippin fangirlism brought to you by too many chocolate chip cookies* Mithalwen those pictures are just horrifying. And hilarious. I particularly liked the duos of Merry & Pippin and Boromir & Faramir. Galadriel is the funniest. After clicking on the Gollum link I must go gouge out my eyes.
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All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression. Last edited by Diamond18; 06-02-2006 at 10:46 PM. |
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06-03-2006, 05:41 AM | #20 | |
Pilgrim Soul
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Quote:
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace Last edited by Mithalwen; 06-03-2006 at 11:50 AM. |
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06-03-2006, 10:49 PM | #21 | |
Dead Serious
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Quote:
But the visual humour... priceless.
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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06-04-2006, 11:24 AM | #22 | |
Laconic Loreman
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Quote:
And Roy Kinnear was Planchet in several Musketeer movies...don't know exactly which ones there are so many of them and all these spinoffs. Everyone else I really have no clue, but the Aragorn guy looks familiar...so far can't pin him down.
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06-04-2006, 10:15 PM | #23 |
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How about Sean Connery as Saruman and Gandalf? "We should join with him my freind." "When did Sharuman the wise abandon reson for madness?"- Freaking hilarious. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
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06-05-2006, 06:23 AM | #24 | |
Drummer in the Deep
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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06-05-2006, 08:24 AM | #25 |
Blithe Spirit
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Mith's pics: further reading for curious non-Brits
Brinniel - I would have far preferred Toby Mcguire as Frodo to the quivering saucer-eyed puppy who was given the role.
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Out went the candle, and we were left darkling |
06-05-2006, 12:03 PM | #26 | |
Pilgrim Soul
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Quote:
Well done .... Roy Kinnear was such a wonderful actor that I feel a bit mean using him but he is very un-Sarumany. He would have been a perfect Ted Sandyman type - shifty but not exactly evil .... Thanks Lal : I do seem to have revealed my affection for the "Carry on Films" ... just wih I had fitted Sid James in somewhere ... Guess he should be Celeborn to Babs's Galadriel.... I would point out that no particular affection attaches to the Chuckle Brothers... As a side note, Richard O'Callaghan, who played Merry, in the Radio series, had roles in a couple of Carry Ons!!!! I do try not to think of that when I listen, since he ain't at all bad with a much more "bookish" approach to the role, but it may have caused this linkage...
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace Last edited by Mithalwen; 06-05-2006 at 12:16 PM. |
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06-05-2006, 01:20 PM | #27 | |
Corpus Cacophonous
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Quote:
Sid James: Aragorn Joan Sims: Arwen Barbara Windsor: Eowyn In this scenario, Hattie Jacques would be Galadriel, and Kenneth Williams Celeborn.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
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06-05-2006, 01:48 PM | #28 |
Pilgrim Soul
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"In this scenario, Hattie Jacques would be Galadriel, and Kenneth Williams Celeborn. "
Only one answer to that Sauce, "Oooooooooooooooh Elf Queen......"
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
06-06-2006, 12:50 AM | #29 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Gandalf (Marsel Marso)
Theoden (Its Curly!) Eomer (Zero-- My personal favorite) And... I'm amazed that I got to it first: Grima Wormtongue!
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Last edited by Valesse; 06-06-2006 at 01:50 AM. |
06-06-2006, 12:35 PM | #30 | |
Reflection of Darkness
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Quote:
Actually, Verne Troyer aka Mini-Me would make a perfect Frodo.
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
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06-14-2006, 10:10 PM | #31 |
Haunting Spirit
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Legolas: Fabio
Boromir: Tom Cruise Galadriel: Madonna Frodo: Adam Brody Merry and Pippin: the twins from Good Charlotte Sam: Arnold Schwartzenager...(oh man I can't spell that name) ....oh dear.
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I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew. Of wind I sang, I wind there came, and in the branches blew... -Galadriel |
06-15-2006, 09:26 AM | #32 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
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I'm going to have to agree with Oddwen on this one..... Sean Connery could be Gandalf, and Will Ferrell could be Saruman.
Gandalf: You'll rue the day you crosshed me, Sharuman! Saruman: .... Right. Gandalf: One day it'll be my turn, Sharuman! Saruman: I hate you. *sends Gandalf spinning toward the ceiling* Later, in Rohan Gandalf: (to Sarutheodenman) The day ish mine, Sharuman! Saruman: That's it. I'm going to go home and put a gun in my mouth. Gandalf: HAW HAW HAW HAW!!! And picture Ritchie wearing a robe, heading the Council. "The ring must be destroyed! Either that or taste the wrath of my Stratocaster!"
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The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." Last edited by Beanamir of Gondor; 06-15-2006 at 09:31 AM. |
06-15-2006, 01:20 PM | #33 |
A Mere Boggart
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How about:
as
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Gordon's alive!
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06-15-2006, 01:24 PM | #34 | |
Illustrious Ulair
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Quote:
Galadriel: 'Well, once a week is enough for any Elf...' How about: Bernard Bresslaw as Treebeard. Charles Hawtrey as Gollum. Frankie Howard as Gandalf (Uncloaked). |
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06-15-2006, 01:32 PM | #35 |
Pilgrim Soul
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I really think you should rewrite the whole book as a carry on film now davem...
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
06-15-2006, 01:43 PM | #36 |
Illustrious Ulair
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Saruman: May the benevolence of the Valar bring blessings on your house.
Gandalf: And on yours. Saruman: And may their wisdom bring success in all your undertakings. Gandalf: And in yours. Saruman: And may their radiance light up your life. Gandalf: And up yours. .. Theoden: [addressing Ghan-buri-ghan] How! Me-um heap big paleface chief from-um Edoras City. Me-um salute-um big chief. Me-um want-um pow-wow. Ghan: [speaking perfect English] I say, you do talk funny. You must be foreigners.
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“Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects." Last edited by davem; 06-15-2006 at 01:56 PM. |
06-15-2006, 01:52 PM | #37 | |
Pilgrim Soul
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Quote:
You see you are a natural......
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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06-15-2006, 01:56 PM | #38 |
Illustrious Ulair
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Aragorn: Two young Hobbits have disappeared and we're anxious to trace their whereabouts.
Eomer: Oh? Whereabouts? Legolas: Hereabouts. Gimli: At ten o'clock. Aragorn: Or thereabouts. Legolas: In this vicinity. Aragorn: Or roundabouts. Legolas: We're the Three Hunters. Eomer: Or layabouts. (In the Houses of Healing) Aragorn approaches Merry with Athelas] Gandalf: You have given one of these before? Aragorn: Oh, good gracious, hundreds. [Hands Merry a leaf of Kingsfoil] Aragorn: There you are, get it down now. Gandalf: Other end, Aragorn. [Aragorn looks ashamed] Gandalf: Never mind. With a face like his, it's a mistake anyone might make.
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“Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects." Last edited by davem; 06-15-2006 at 02:08 PM. |
06-17-2006, 07:10 AM | #39 |
Illustrious Ulair
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Field of Cormallen:
Gandalf: 'Frodo, tell us how the Ring came to be destroyed!' Frodo: 'Infamy! Infamy! Gollum threw it in f' me!' |
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