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05-09-2005, 07:49 PM | #1 |
Laconic Loreman
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Parents know best.
I found this funny article yesterday for Mother's day, just imagining what different people's mothers would say. For instance: Susan B. Anthony's mom might have said at some point, "Come on Suzy? Women's suffrage? Stop thinking about these silly ideas that won't happen." Or Alexander the Great's mom might have said..."Alex, you can't rule the world." So, let's just imagine what some of the parents from Tolkien's works would have scolded/told their children...
Ecthelion: Denethor! How, many times have I told you not to play with fire! Saruman's Mom (if he had one): You know what Saruman, you need to get outside more, socialize. Stop locking yourself up trying to find out if you can walk on top of custard. (I'll never forget that Lal). Tom Bombadil: I feel a song coming on... Tom Bombadil's dad: Stop that! Stop that! No more singing. So....have at it...(I guess).
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Fenris Penguin
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05-09-2005, 08:32 PM | #2 |
Bittersweet Symphony
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: On the jolly starship Enterprise
Posts: 1,814
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Drogo Baggins: Frodo, put that knife down! You'll slice your finger off!
Sauron's mom: Where have my rings gone? You haven't taken them again, have you? Gollum's mom: Here's a birthday present. Guard it with your life, and if anyone tries to take it from you, kill him. |
05-10-2005, 06:39 AM | #3 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Aragorn's mother: Son, the very idea of reuniting the kingdoms is a pipe dream. Have you thought about a career in accountancy?
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Gordon's alive!
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05-10-2005, 06:46 AM | #4 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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Celebrian : To Arwen ."Some day, you will meet a nice elf boy..."
To Elladan and Elrohir "I think you should dress differently and cultivate separate friendships..... Eomund : "For goodness sake Eowyn, leave your brother's stuff alone and play with dolls like a normal girl. A woman would never be anything other than a liability on the battlefield..... Mrs Wormtongue: "Get your hairwashed and stop lurking in corners Grima... you won't make any friends like that"
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
05-10-2005, 07:03 AM | #5 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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Untimely ripp'd
THRAIN: For generations our kings have been killed while in exile. But now you're here, Thorin my son, things are going to change!
ARADOR: For generations our kings have been killed while in exile. But now you're here, Arathorn my son, things are going to change!
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
05-10-2005, 11:59 AM | #6 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Morwen: Turin this somber attitude of yours has got to go. You've got so much to live for.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
05-10-2005, 01:03 PM | #7 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Saruman's Mother: How many times have I told you? If you put the colours in with the whites, it’s going to run!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 05-11-2005 at 12:06 AM. |
05-10-2005, 04:35 PM | #8 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Eomund: Oh Eomer! Where did you get those bruises? From Eowen? Again? Don't worry son, you will grown to match her someday.
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Solus... I'm eating chicken again. I ate chicken yesterday and the day before... will I be eating chicken again tomorrow? Why am I always eating chicken? |
05-10-2005, 04:47 PM | #9 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Gaffer Gamgee to Sam: You'll never do more than dig potatoes.
Paladin to Pippin: Put that stick down! You'll never be a soldier!
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*.:A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart:.*
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05-10-2005, 06:26 PM | #10 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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To paraphrase Nimmy...
Gaffer to Sam: "Elves and Dragons? Cabbages and potatoes are better for you, lad!"
Hee hee hee...wait. Ivorwen: No, Gilraen, you may absolutely not marry Arathorn, you are too young. No buts now, miss! Bungo Baggins: There has always been a Baggins in Bag-End, young Bilbo, and there always will be.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
05-10-2005, 07:13 PM | #11 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Gandalf's (imaginative of course) mother: Listening in on my and others chit-chat isn't going to get you anywhere in the world! Why don't you try and go play with that Radagast boy, he's always keeping to himself and those birds.
That's all I can think of for now... ~ Imagination Ka
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikađ líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
05-11-2005, 12:07 AM | #12 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Theoden to Theodred: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
Theodred: What, the curtains?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
05-11-2005, 12:04 PM | #13 |
Dead Serious
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Quickbeam's Mother: Slow down! You'll hurt yourself.
Any Ent's Parents: "Eat your vegetables, boy!"
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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05-11-2005, 12:37 PM | #14 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
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The mother of the Eagles: "Why do grow so large? Are you going to be hauling human's around some day?"
Nice thread.
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"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow, and with more knowledge comes more grief." |
05-11-2005, 01:29 PM | #15 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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Elwing "Mummy will be back soon..."
Feanor "Don't listen to me... what do I know" BTW Does any other country celebrate Mothers day at the same time as us Brits? I.E. on Mothering Sunday (Refreshment Sunday/4th Sunday in Lent). It is a very old tradition - so I am surprised it didn't spread with our emigrants...
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
05-13-2005, 11:07 AM | #16 | |
Laconic Loreman
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Mrs. Witch-King: Oh don't you screech back to me young man. It may send your Daddy fleeing but it won't work on me.
Quote:
I wouldn't be surprised if Canada or Australia do, considering they were once settlements of the Brits.
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Fenris Penguin
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05-13-2005, 11:18 AM | #17 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Mrs Ugluk: Do as you're told, my lad. I am your mother! I command!
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
05-13-2005, 11:19 AM | #18 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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I think the Aussies go for May as well since I think it coincided with my departure...
The only explanation I have is that it is a tradition in part linked to the custom of going to the Cathedral (the mother church of the diocese) that Sunday. And since many people emigrated in part to get away from the established anglican (epsicopalian) church - that might be the reason for not keeping up the tradition..
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
05-13-2005, 11:35 PM | #19 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Smeagol's mother (or grandmother): Now you play nice today with Deagol and don't get into any trouble.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
05-25-2005, 01:43 PM | #20 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Shadow Gallery
Posts: 276
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Adrahil: Denethor, you've got to stop your son from stealing my jewelry.
Denethor: Boromir, there's more to life than power... I mean jewelry. Thranduil: Legolas, how many times have I told you-- if you surf down the bannister, you'll end up breaking your kneecaps! And stop playing archery indoors! Arathorn: Son, would you clean yourself for once?
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The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." |
05-25-2005, 02:15 PM | #21 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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Strictly speaking, of course, Arathorn would have had to have told Aragorn that as a two year old...ah, the pedant in me is winning...
CURUFIN: Celebrimbor my son, never craft anything. Skill at making things has brought our family nothing but trouble...
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
06-06-2005, 04:10 AM | #22 |
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 142
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Smeagol's mom: Son, stop eating raw fish! You'll get salmonella!
Gollum: Mom, geroff, gollum, gollum! I like sweet fish... Smeagol's mom: At least get that fish dressed like a sashimi, son, you're disgusting! |
06-06-2005, 04:13 AM | #23 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sauron's mum: Look, if I catch you taking my jewellery again, I’ll show you who the DARK LORD IS!!
Sauron: eeep!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-06-2005, 05:12 AM | #24 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Elrond: Arwen, do not presume you know more than Glorfindel does, okay? And stop stealing Asfaloth.
Gandalf's mum: Stop breakdancing with that kid Bill, son. He will be the death of you yet. Bill the Balrog's mum...wait. Last edited by Lhunardawen; 06-07-2005 at 10:43 PM. |
06-06-2005, 08:01 AM | #25 |
Laconic Loreman
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Celebrian (to Elladan and Elrohir): I don't want you two disappearing for weeks again. Be home by supper.
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Fenris Penguin
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06-14-2005, 09:58 AM | #26 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Mothers of the Eagles:
"Never carry a ring or a person with a ring any amount of distance, children." |
06-14-2005, 11:49 AM | #27 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Gandalf's mom to Saruman's mom:Listen you Saruman may keep his cloak nixce and clean while my gandy's is messy and grey but at least he makes friend's I bet you when they grow up and Gandy cleans his cloak it'll be twice as white as Saruman's!
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Morsul the Resurrected |
06-18-2005, 05:16 AM | #28 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Ringwraiths, sons of Galadriel???
Ringwraiths' mum/s: Do not touch the water!
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06-18-2005, 11:25 AM | #29 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Canada, Australia, NZ, and U.S all celebrate Mother's Day on the same day.
Denethor to Faramir: Don't bother with all those flu shots my boy, you won't need anything like that to help you when your older, seeing as your nose is always in a book. Gandalf's mom: Stop making those long winded comments and talking in riddles, who do you think you are, a wizard?
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
08-27-2005, 04:44 PM | #30 |
Wight
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: the Lepetomaine Gambling Casino For The Insane
Posts: 157
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Thengel: "Stop imagening things, your horse is not out to get you!"
Denethor to Boromir: "Rock'n'roll will never last, stop going to these...dis-co-the-kwees or whatever they're called." to Faramir: "one day you're going to meet a nice girl..." and last but not least, Tolkien's mom: "You're too old for elves, you'll never make any money dreaming"
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I support...something. |
08-27-2005, 04:56 PM | #31 |
Energetic Essence
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Gandalf's mom: For the Valar's sake Gandy, stop uncloaking yourself!!!!! ( )
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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