Rock 'n Roll Ain't Shire Pollution

[The Barrow-Wight]

Imagine that the old gaffers in Hobbiton woke up one morning to a frightening new noise: Rock’n’Roll. Across the Shire, young tweeners were growing their hair long and shaking their hips in immoral, Elf-like gyrations. A respectable hobbit gentleman couldn’t sit down to a pint in his favorite pub without being drowned in racket of such hooligan music groups as the The Hoom, Prince (of Dol Amroth), Flogging Merry, and Sheryl Crebain

Poster seen stapled to mallorns everywhere:

Performing tonight in the Green Dragon: Nob Dylan (all the way from Bree!)

He’ll sing such great songs as
Like A Rolling Stone of Erech
All Along The Watchtower of Amon Sul
Tangled Up In Lhûn
Knockin' on Aman's Door

Guest star!!!
Nob will be accompanied on guitar by fellow Traveling Wainriders bandmate, Tom Petty Dwarf.

Extra special guest stars!
Also making an appearance will be a trio of Vidugavia's Secret models showing off the newest fashions from Rhovanion.

* * * *

With some creativity and flair, tell us about another band that might perform in the new rockin’ Shire. What are they like and what songs do they play? What would their poster look like? What brought them together and what impact have they made on society?

Do Not just write a list of funny band or song names. We want to know more!!! With a little effort, this could be a fun thread.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

The Nazgul! (All the way from the ninth circle of hell)

Singing covers of great songs like:

Back in Black
My sword is hanging upside down (Frodo goes to Mordor)
DarkLord Therapy
Sauron is a punk rocker
Now I wanna sniff some man-flesh
Mordor's Bells

What Frodo DIN'T realise is that they were only trying to get him to listen to their rock music!!

[The Saucepan Man]

Not all of the rock bands popular among the young Hobbits caused their elders consternation. Despite their fearful name and cacophonous sound, Steppenwarg, made songs which embraced traditional Shire values such as gossiping, mistrust of outsiders and frequent parties involving prodigious quantities of food and drink.

Their seminal song was Born in the Shire, an anthemic call for young Hobbits to ignore any old Wizards who might come to their door with tales of Dragons, Elves and hoards of gold. Its lyrics bear repeating here:

Get my muffin buttered
Feet up by the fireplace
Hiding from adventure
In a most un-Tookish way

No Gandalf, you’re not welcome
Leave me here in my comfy hole
Don’t want no Dragon’s treasure
Not meeting no Trolls

I like beer and mushrooms
Heavy belly thunder
Blowing smoky rings
In the Hill that I’m under

No Gandalf, you’re not welcome
Leave me here in my comfy hole
Don’t want no Dragon’s treasure
Not meeting no Trolls

Like a true Hobbit child
I was born – born in the Shire
The only Dragon round here
Is Green and serves beer

Born in the Shire!
Born in the Shire!

But while that is the song for which they are most remembered, they also had a string of minor hits, including

• Don’t Listen at the Eaves, Sam
• (Mushroom) Pusher
• Cookie, Cookie
• Straight Smokin’ Hobbit, and
• Hey Lalia Mama

While deemed thoroughly acceptable by much of Hobbit society, Steppenwarg caused outrage amongst Wizards, Dwarves and Elves looking for suitable fall-guys for their adventures since, during the band’s heyday, not one young Hobbit could be found who was willing to undertake such tasks as burgling Dragons’ treasure or destroying Magic Rings.

Mysteriously, Steppenwarg disappeared shortly after they were visited backstage at one of their concerts by an old bearded fellow dressed in grey with a wide-brimmed hat. Some say they went onto greater things and secured a recording contract in Rivendell (thus selling out on their ideals), but others tell that their songs may still be heard in the croaking of the frogs in the reeds by the Water.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Sam has started an own band with Gollum (who's still alive and kickin'). They have created a superb new song and it's reputation can only be compared to smash hits like Macarena and Ketchup Song. It'll be the Shire folk's all-time favourite for now on: Mashed Taters!

[Bêthberry]

Sadly, there were minstrels whose songs were forgotten by the Shirelings, who sang once at Penny Delving and were never invited back. Often their songs were said to be as strange as news from Bree. Once such itinerant singer was Otho Riddermarking. His song, "Sitting on the dock of Balafalas" reached number Nine on the charts at Lune and New March but such a feat was his only mark. Indeed, the song is remembered only by the more adventurous of the hobbits, those with some acquaintance with the Lays of TheNowLostLand.

Here, without more ado is his song of The 'Downing' of Numenor: Akïndamêss, the Caterwaulin'.

Sittin' in the darkenin' age
I'll be sittin' when the shadow comes
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of Balfalas
Watching Numenor roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of Balfalas
Sundering seas.

I left my home in Barad-dur
Headed for Tolfalas bay
'Cause all I had was death to live for
And Amandil wasn't comin' my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of Balafalas
Watching Numenor roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of Balfalas
Sundering seas.

Look like everything's gonna change
Nothin's gonna remain the same
I can't do what Morgoth tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
But I can't make Aman my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of Balfalas
Watching Numenor roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of Balfalas
Seeing the circles of the world pass away.

[The Barrow-Wight]

These songs are great! But it would be great to hear a bit more about the bands and how their performances are received in the Shire

[Kransha]

One cannot have a festivity celebrating such festidious music without the inclusion of the most popular group to come out of the Bëortish Invasion: The Kirinki.

A Beef History: The well-known, oft-fangirled band bebuting in Eriador features John Lindon, Parth MaCarchost, Forge Harodson, and Ingwo Stoorr. The revolutionary overseas (from Valinor, that is) musical stylings of the Kirinki changed the world, the warrld, and the whirled. In the wake of the Kirinki, screaming females between the ages of 12 and 960 were sure to follow. In fact, in the late 2960's, their popularity was at such an all-time high that the focal point of the group, John Lindon, split off from the remainder of the Kirinki and founded an 'experience' with his ex-semi-hemi-demi-spouse, Mocha Lotho, one of the Notorious Sackville-Bagginses. The group was ostracized from the public eye, though, because of Mocha's ill-remembered alliance with the Cock-O-Woops, a group known only for their Proletariat idealism. Mocha and Lindon's only hit was the single Swagger It which was quickly adopted by Curunir Recording Studios, who forced locals to pay a nickel everytime the patented phrase was uttered. Thus, through financial difficulty and Istari infamy, the Cock-O-Woops fell from grace. Lindon, at that time, returned to the Kirinki, but not before being unfortunately *hem* decommisioned and took up residence in the Barrow-Downs. Re-joining the Kirinki as J.Lindon Version 2.0 (WightLindon, as he was called), Lindon carried the Kirinki to stardom yet again.

Public W[orks]: In their early days, the Kirinki quickly coined a number of numbers that would remain part of the Ardan vernacular for decades to come. Early tones like Noldorin Wood (one of the earliest songs, which was allegedly all subtext relating to the slipshod construction of the Valar Lamps) , Orcrist and Shout! (filled with ruminations about various Dwarven weaponry and the joys of drinking liquid mithril), A Lay in the Life (a condensed version of every Lay and Song of Arda, all abridged into 2 short lines), Michdomiel (an intelligent musical discussion of intermarriage between Ents and Wargs), and I Saw His Standing Heir (a work that expostulated mercilessly on the geopolitical issues raised by the sudden materialization of Aragorn Elessar. The Kirinki, despite their better factors, were part of the Pro-Steward League, inspired primarily by a cash donation from Steward Ecthelion II).

The song to be performed at Shirestock, though, is a new, later work, and very controversial. The recently perfected Varda in the Sky with Elfstones was considered, in its time, to be a work of foul sorcery (VSE was a popular pipe-weed supplement at the time, but only among the low sort, so the obvious acronym in the title didn’t go down well with Farthing gentlehobbits). The following is the piece in full. It’s response in the Shire, be hobbit lassies at least, was exceptionally adamant, but the older set found the ‘ninnyhammer shenanigans’ to be ‘hooliganery,’ and ‘newf-angled’ (the angle of a newf, that is, a newf being the dissolute product of a miscalculated transformation from newt to man). Her follows the legendary work of music, filled with new nonsense and old ramblings.

(Note: If you understand the analogues within, you, sir or madam, are a genius, and have no place reading this post)

Picture yourself in a boat on the Water,
With Nauglamir trees and miruvor skies
Somebody calls you, you answer real vaguely,
A girl with Beleriand eyes.
Barrow-Wight mounds of blackish and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the Wight with the dark in his eyes,
And he's gone.

Varda in the Sky with Elfstones...

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where Silmaril people eat Nimphelos pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the wight-mounds,
That grow so incredibly high.
Fiberglass mûmaks appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the Void,
And you're gone.

Varda in the Sky with Elfstones...

Picture yourself in a field in a Meara,
With plasticine uruks with Seregon ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstyle,
The girl with the Beleriand eyes.

Varda in the Sky with Elfstones...

[Lalwendë]

Isengrimhilde Thornrock, the well known music journalist from Archet, was recently in The Shire and she reported on some of the new youth movements there:

As I stepped from the wagon at Michel Delving I noticed large groups of black-clad young hobbits clustered on the steps of the Town Hall, and was immediately struck by the spectacle. I wondered if by chance a flock of Crebain had taken up roost there, but then I spied the poster.

Tonight!
The Sisters of Maeglin Reunion Show
7.30pm
Over 29s only

So this explained it. The Sisters of Maeglin, well-known doom merchants of days of yore had reformed for a special show in Michel Delving. These black-clad young hobbits were in fact Guls, waiting to nab a front row seat to see their idols. The Guls, a nickname taken from the word Nazgul, in tribute to their black flowing clothing and grim demeanour, had come out in force on this fine Shire day.

Many of the fans were older hobbits, well out of their tweens, but many were of the younger generation and I decided to ask them just what it was that they loved about the 'Sisters so much.

Hollyhock Brandybuck, a young hobbit of just 30, was dressed in a long black dress. Much too long in fact. It looked as though it had been made for someone well beyond hobbit size. "I like to look as Third Age as possible," she told me. "It was a much more romantic era". She told me she had all the albums by the Sisters of Maeglin, she had picked them up in a second-hand mathom store. "I like their music because it is heavy and speaks to me of darker days", she said. "They have good lyrics, unlike some of this bleepy stuff the hobbit lads like in Bywater. They are just following the crowd"

And as I stood there talking to this young hobbit lass, a horse and heavily modified cart came screeching around the corner of the Town Hall, packed with young hobbit lads. The thumping sounds of infamous DJ Mim Mirkwood came booming out from the back of the cart and the lads all started shouting. "Get back to the barrows you miserable Guls!" they yelled, as the cart raced away in a flurry of dust, the rickety homemade wooden spoiler on the back of the cart barely stabilising it as it roared into the distance.

"You get that kind of thing all the time" a lad in a leather coat told me. His name was Paladin Oldbrand, but he prefers to go by the name of "Fell". "It suits me better somehow", he said. He went on to tell me about the anthem "Wormtongue's Lament", which he told me was symbolic of all the torments suffered by the Gul in the name of their chosen way of life. "It's a song for all the losers out there."

I decided to get myself a ticket and repaired to the inn opposite the Town Hall where I ordered a pint of Beastbite and Black to get me in the mood for the gig.

[Snowdog]

In the Green Dragon one night, talk came up of the rock scene. Some young hobbits asked about the Beorish invasion and the Darkness scene that grew out of its fringes. A gaffer, who had many an ale spoke up....

"I was there... I remember!

A young hobbit countered as he engaged the gaffer in the converse.

Yeah? My dad said that if anyone says they remember the Darkness then they most likely wasn't there."

"Oh I was there sonny. Let me tell you....

I used to write for the Rolling Stone of Erech (magazine) and I cover many a scene. The wild stage pyrotecnics of bands like Orthanc, Mithrander and My Friend Sarumann I remember well. Their music sucked but they sure wow'd the crowds with the pyrotechnics.

(A sip of his ale paused his talk, but he went on...)

Yes, the Bëorish Invasion.... were were on that, and the scene of Darkness... Bëorish scene, as others said, was quite a phenonenon when it hit. But it was only a beginning, and it led to some rather extreme tangents. The Darkness was one of the wildest extremes. It was a dark, cultish vein that became marginally popular with disenchanted young hobbits and men of Bree, and at its peak, in the Shire. The sure sign your son or daugher was into it was the loads of heavy black makeup, black clothing, and black-dyed hair.

There were several bands that got into it at its peak, but the scene was primarily centered around bands like the dark and depressing vibe band, Carn Dum and and the heavy, hard-edged Tharbad Crossing. They became regulars at the Forsaken Inn, complimenting each other and trading headliners. Shortly thereafter, another band, even more outrageous than Carn Dum, got it start in Bree by some local young folk called The Carrion of Dunland. They got their start playing in various barns and open fields around Bree, and soon started playing the Forsaken Inn.

The lead singer of The Carrion of Dunland (often billed and shortened to 'The Carrion', or just 'Carrion') was a sultry, gravelly-voiced woman from Bree, Lisa Ferny. Her vulger lyrics, excesses in smoking aethelas in her pipeweed, and her outrageous and sometimes scantily-clad stage attire earned her the ire and disdain of most proper folk of Bree. Parents of tweenage hobbits in Bree and the Shire alike feared this Darkness sub-culture as it spread, though at first it was a local Bree phenom. A saying soon cropped up among the Shire clubs that would be used when telling of any band that seemed even mildly odd... As strange as a band from Bree!"

It wasn't until a business partnership developed in the Shire between the millowner Ted Sandyman, who wanted to buy the failing Floating Log tavern in Frogmorton, and the unscrouplous Lotho Sackville-Baggins that the Darkness scene took solid hold in the Shire. Rumor at the time around the Green Dragon was that Lotho had some out-of-Shire finiancing, and Ted Sandyman wanted to anage a club and was said he dabbled in the fringes of Darkness, and he bought rights and remodeled the Floating Log. When the Floating Log re-opened, the grand opening featured a triple bill:
_______________________________
Grand Opening of the Floating Log
The first time in the Shire!

• Lisa Ferny & The Carrion

with special guests

• Nazgul
• Carn Dum
• Tharbad Crossing

_______________________________

The show was a mildly major success for Ted Sandyman, and the bands were invited back several times. Soon some local Shire Darkness bands formed around the hub of the Floating Log,and it was the place to be to meet friends and hobbits of the opposite sex. It was during this time that some daring hobbit souls discovered that the purplish mushrooms Farmer Maggot said were poisonous would indeed not kill you, but bring on extreme hallucinations. With them growing all over the place, the practice of eating some before a show at the Floating Log got started.

However, this whole scene was a nightmare for the locals, and their concern spilled out at Frogmorton council meetings. In turn the Mayor got his hear filled at the Shire meetings. Parents wanted to know how this happened under their noses and poured out their wrath about "that Bree Music".

Yes, Ted managed to get his club permitted for live music, there was nothing that could be done about the kind of music. So pressure was put on in other ways. Undercover Sherrifs would be on hand and among the crowds and would check for underage hobbits drinking and smoking. Despite Ted's claims in court that he was being harassed, he had little sympathy among the populace. Ordinances were passed that put increasing pressure on the Floating Log. There was a noise ordinance that basicly dictated that all music had to stop by 9 PM. Another was an ordinance prohibiting the posting of advertising bills.

The end came when a mysterious fire burned the Floating Log to the ground just before sunrise. Whether it was incensed parents, or Ted looking for a way out, it effectivly ended the darkness scene in the shire. All that was left with no place for the great bands to play were inprompu gatherings of the local Shire bands. Once again hardcore fans had to trek to the Forsaken. Soon the scene in the Shire faded, with some mushroom-spaced-out hobbits being all that was left.

Meanwhile in Bree, none of the in-town clubs would allow bands playing the Darkness style of music to be played. But at the height of the Floating Log days, The Carrion finally managed to get an opening gig at the Prancing Pony in Bree. The Pony was known as the premiere club in town, and it was considered a small victory of acceptance had been gained for the dark music. But an ugly incident at the gig involving Lisa Ferny and some of the more conservative regulars caused Barliman to have them tossed out, never to return.

After the Floating Log burned down, and the incident at the Pony, the climax of the darkness scene seemed to have passed. The Carrion were relegated pretty much to playing at the Forsaken, though Tharbad Crossing and Carn Dum still managed to get other gigs in Archet & Staddle. Parents of Bree and the Shire breathed a little easier as the scene faded. But still, cult-fanatic elder tweens and young adults from as far away as the West Farthing would make the pilgramage to the Forsaken, and a cult held on in Bree and the Forsaken though it was slowly fading.

The hard lifestyle though took its toll on the fans and bandmembers alike. Heavy ale drinking, Aethelas in pipeweed, and the practice of eating pourple mushrooms (quickly brought to the Forsaken from the Floating Log in the Shire), made the bands music take on a more somber, unorganized sound. Artistic differences and in-fighting developed among some of the bandmembers, and after a major fight onstage between drummer Hats Hardbottle and bass lyreist Barahir Butterbar spelled the end of Carn Dum. The problem of course centered around Lisa Ferny. She had been dating Hats, but dumped him for Barahir before a show, saying the Hobbit thing wasn't her bag anymore. The rest of The Carrion didn't like the seemingly dictatoral control over the artistic direction that Lisa had taken, and the fact she was insisting they be billed as Lisa Ferny & the Carrion, caused a growing disgruntled undercurrent among the other members. Lisa's excesses caused her to miss more and more practices, so finally Carrion's drummer David E. Dain organized with Carn Dum bassist Barahir Butterbar (after his brief romance and breakup with Lisa Ferny. It lasted a week), and the Archer brothers who made up the powerful rhythm and lead lyre duo of Tharbad Crossing, formed the hard driving psychedilic band Annuminas. They played mainly a spacey instrumental rock, with songs like 'Varda' and 'Evendim Twilight' becoming favorites at their shows. They had moderate success and were allowed to play at the Pony, and also at clubs in the Shire, and finally their big break came when a traveling Gondorian talent agent saw one of their shows in the Pony, and they went on a southern tour through Rohan and Gondor. They would never return north for many years. Their music changed with the times and the influences of other music styles they would infuse (Some say it had to change, because the purple mushrooms didn't grow in the south) with their own.

In a club in Pelegir they were influenced by the southern and eastern cultures. It was here they first saw a particularly savage form of rock n roll played by the Varaigs from Khand. Their fans all had their heaads shaved except for a center mane which they spiked. Also, a style of music that featured a rhythmic drumbeat that was melodic and soothing was played by a band called Ghan-buri-Ghan.

The summer of Love was proclaimed as a huge three day event east of Osgoliath developed out of a small pop festival. Men from all lands, Elves, Dwarves, and even some Orcs and Trolls came. It became known as the Middle Earth Peace Festival! Annuminas attended and played some of their old Northern hits, and even belting out some mean instrumental versions of their previous band's songs. They played with some of the Middle Earth rock greats like the Fabulous Furry Dwarf Brothers, Steppinwarg, The Ithilien Rangers, The Beacons and a particularly hard rock band called The Cave Trolls.

Sadly, around this time, Hats Hardbottle was found dead in his room at the Forsaken, where he had drank himself silly. It was ruled he died of afixiation in his sleep.

Lisa Ferny grew evermore outrageous after going solo, but as her brand of music was ebbing, she fell off the stage in a smoked up, mushroom enhanced drunken stupor and hit her head. Some bells must have went off, for she never performed live again for several years. She turned herself in to the Shire-Shadel hospital and after some months of rehab, she quietly moved to Gondor where she married a handsome Citidel Guard and became Lisa Bragaden, and had 3 kids. When she came back to Bree with her family to attend her fathers funreal, she and her former bandmates played an impromptu acoustic set. It was not known at the time, but it would be Lisa Ferny's last performance. The years of abuse and hard living took its toll, and she died a year later. Her eldest daughter would later become famous as a vaudville dancer in Minas Tirith, but thats another story.

David E. Dain eventually quit the music scene, and got into extreme sports. He was killed in a fall rockclimbing in the Misty Mountains.

The Archer Brothers mellowed after the breakup of Annuminas, and were for years the music behind a young star named Khamul and would play small gigs all over Middle Earth.....

(The gaffer went to sleep, ale in hand...)

[Lachwen]

Not quite fitting into the new Rock 'N Roll category but still considered "too loud" by many elders of the Shire was the brotherly trio Huanson. They exploded into the Shire with their first hit, MMMBeer, the only Huanson song ever taken to heart by the majority of adult Hobbits. Their fan base was, of course, the screaming female horde, though many young male Hobbits derided the band, saying they "look like Elf-maids." For about two years they held the young female population of the Shire in thrall with such songs as Where's The Ring?, Redbook (Where Did Frodo Go) and Man From Meduseld, before quietly slipping out of sight. Several years passed before they resurfaced with the album "This Time Around, I'll Bake An Extra", with a sound that was more mature and slightly cynical in the area of romance. Many of their original fans found them "too different," and Huanson never regained their former iconic position on the BillBoffin Top 100. Many of the elder 'tweens enjoyed the new music, however, and spoke often to others about the quality of such songs as Save Me (A Piece), Dying To Be The King, Runaway Rhûn, and Wish That I Was There (Tirion). Once again, several years passed before Huanson released another album. "Underneath (Erebor)" was recieved better than their sophomore release, with a cleaner sound and the earlier cynicism removed. They still showed an uncanny ability to write songs that touched on what all Hobbits hold dear, such as Strong Enough to Breakfast and Misery (No More 1420), as well as songs that showed knowledge of the wider World, like the title track Underneath (Erebor), Get Up And Go To Rivendell, Dancin' In The Wild and the moving Beren/Lúthien ballad, Lost Without Each Other. They may not be as frighteningly popular as when they first started, but Huanson has shown to be more enduring than similar bands like The Bagshot Boys.

[Lalwendë]

Mithrillica lay themselves bare in new film Some Kind of Mumakil. With the departure of their bassist they must write and record their new album as a threesome. A threesome which argues quite a lot, so the band take on a counsellor to see them through the process, seeking out Pallando, the long lost Istar (who is now desperately seeking work since he only had a one way ticket to Middle Earth and the cost of a return to Valinor is pretty expensive).

Jolly Hammerhand and Largo Ulmo are soon at each others’ throats like rabid Wargs, thrown into the close confines of the studio. It takes a drunken trip to the Ice Bay of Forochel and an incident with bears and excessive Old Winyards to make Hammerhand realise that his hobbit habit must be cured. He disappears for an entire year, retreating into the rehab smial at Bucklebury, and it looks as though Mithrillica are down to two until he re-emerges, stronger and ready to start work. We then see the band recruit a new bass player and finally release their new album.

The film gives us a close up look at a band coming to terms with growing older, getting hairier feet, giving up the Old Winyards and confronting their personal wights. One of the highlights of the film is an appearance by prodigal former member Dain Mugwort, who has an emotional set-to with Largo Ulmo. We also see some surprises during the auditions for the new bassist, including Tinuviel Ringwraith of shock rockers Melian Morgoth.

It is primarily a film for fans, but any hobbit music fan should enjoy this look at the inner workings of one of the most infamous bands in The Shire. Long gone are the days of such classics as Master of Pukel-Men, Ride the Limlight, Harvester of Sauron and Enter Saruman, but Mithrillica prove they still have relevance in the Fourth Age. No doubt they will be rocking The Shire again soon on their next tour. As long as Hammerhand keeps off the Old Winyards.

[Lachwen]

(Just a note beforehand: the stupid computer won't let me put umlauts where I want them. )

Bent on spoofing this new and very popular musical genre, several young Brandybucks got together and produced the satire This Is Spinal Telpe. It was very popular among young 'tweens, but their constant repetitions of the line "This viol goes to eleven!" drove their elders near to madness. (A fake copy of a made-up band: I win! )

Also, a flyer seen posted on trees all around the Shire:

Coming soon to the Party Field: WOSE-STOCK
Three days of food and music!

FEATURING:

• Nirvarda, singing songs from their classic album, From The Muddy Banks of the Withywindle!
• Black Sammath, promoting their album Sammath Fiery Sammath!
• The Dwarf band Durin Durin!
• Pink Flói!
• And Smashing Turnips!

With special guests Craving Théoden, Dropkick Mirkwood, Sum 1420, Lembas of God and the Red Hobbit Chili Peppers!

Extra-special guest stars The Orcspring, Gate-of-the Dead and The Déors!

PLUS!!!

• Saturday only! James Baran, the Valafather of Soul!
• Autograph session with Nirvarda lead singer Kurt Crebain!
• And an early release of the new Dior album, Unholy Driver!

Also, I have determined what band our lovely moderator (and originator of this thread) should be in: System of a Barrow-Down.

And my brother gave me this one: Megadorks (a band created by Lord of the Rings fans kicked out of Mithrillica).

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I got a copy of their second album, Tooxicity. I especially love the songs Tooxicity, Chubb Suey!, and Déor Dance.

Now Déor Dance, it was commonly believed, was a protest against the Rohirrim policy towards the Dunlendings. But lead singer Serj Tarkiryan said different:

"Three hundred hobbits were expected to attend the Ossëfest concert held in the Hobbiton. Instead, a thousand showed up. The venue and security were not prepared adequately for such a show of heads. The shirrifs got scared of the situation, and decided to call off the concert. But the band was ready to play the show and even ceded to cutting their set list short, despite looming threats of arrests of band members and danger to their lives.

"The shirriffs would not have it! System of a Barrow-downs didn't cancel the show! There were so many people there that only a part of them could even actually view the stage. It was feared that had the band set foot on stage, people would push, shove, and possibly trample others to get a visual fix on the band.

"The shirriffs may have also feared that had the band announced that the show was being cancelled, that it would have lead to anger and hostility against their presence. However, nobody got on stage and announced what was going on. This left everyone to assume everything and anything, and some hobbits out of frustration started to loot and fight.

"Most System fans were appalled by the activities and immediately fled the scene.

"The fleeing of this mass of people may have in turn caused fear in the shirriffs, seeing groups of people running, plus the meleé ensuing in the Party Field. Let's not underestimate the amount of fear created by the visible shirriff presence, reinforced by the Mounted Shirriffs.

"What was happening was like when Déor, King of Rohan, ordered the Dunlendings off the lands given to them by Gondor. They were given no chance to explain themselves - they were just pushed away."

[Snowdog]

That was a tragic time for sure.... but do you remember the big show held in Dunland? There were no sherrifs, and so one of the bands, the Rolling Stones of Erech, hired a gang of orcs fopr stage security. After they knifed a drunk hobbit in the crowd, and bashed in the head of the guitarist of the band Jeffarvedui's Sparetain, a riot broke out.

[Oddwen]

And true, though while "Chubb Suey!" and "Tooxicity" have the more widespread fame, it was SoaB-d's earlier hits like "Spiders" that got them known to the world at large. Consider:


"Lazy Lob and crazy Cob
Are weaving webs to wind me
I am far more sweet than other meat
And still they cannot find me!
RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Tarkirian's vocal talent really shines through performing this song, although is sometimes compared to an Oliphaunt's trumpet, or to a Nazgûl shriek.