Imagine that...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I've read a story in Reader's Digest (Laughter, the Best Medicine)which I'll leave to your cerebral cortices, then suddenly Boromir comes to mind:

(Boromir calls 911)
Boromir: Hello. I'm shot.
Operator: How many times were you shot?
Boromir: This is the first time...

Then, what if LotR had behind-the-scenes unmentioned moments?

'You are weary, I see,' said Denethor. 'You have ridden fast and far, and under shadows of evil in the air, I am told.'
'Let us not speak of that!' said Faramir.
'Then we will not,' said Denethor. 'Go now and rest as you may. Tomorrow's need will be sterner.'
'Wait. There is one thing,' said Faramir.
'Speak,' said Denethor.
'We should put down the "Mûmakil crossing sign" in the Crossroads. The fell beasts continue to use it,' said Faramir.
'That's it. You're out of here tomorrow,' said Denethor."

Never makes sense, doesn't it? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

->Elenrod

[The Barrow-Wight]

*WARNING*

All threads like this start well but quickly fall apart into a series of short, very non-funny one-liners. If you intend to play, do so with a little thought and a bit of intelligence. Don't just type the first silly thing that comes into your head.

Thanks
BW

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 11:54 AM January 02, 2004: Message edited by: The Barrow-Wight ]

[Naz]

I may seem like a complete git for saying this, but I'm very confused & lost. What do you mean? Just make "behind-the-scenes" type things..?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

No...you create stories that:

a) could be used as a funny way to explain something that happened in the books, or;
b) is not in the book, but could somehow fit in it.

Hope that cleared things up! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

-&gt;Elenrod

[Elennar Starfire]

I actually thought of this before this topic was started, but couldn't think of anywhere to post it or exactly what sort of topic I could start to fit this in, so I thank you very much for providing a place where it fits!

Arwen sat on her bed, looking closely at a small shining object in her hand. She seemed pleased. "Now to test it," she muttered. She poked at the shining object, then lifted her arm and looked at the bracelet she was wearing. "Excellent! Now to give it to Aragorn..." She stood up, and went to her closet, and opened the middle drawer and rummaged around in it for a few seconds, then pulled out a silver chain, onto which she put the silver pendant in her hand. She fastened the chain around her neck and left the room.

A few minutes later, she arrived at the meeting place that had been agreed upon earlier that day, the bridge over the stream in the middle of Rivendell. Aragorn was already there. Arwen walked a little faster, though not so fast as to lose her elven dignity, and embraced Aragorn. (You all know what happens now, they talk, Arwen gives Aragorn the Evenstar)

Back in her room, Arwen smirked at the reflection in her mirror. "Now I'll know the truth about that Rohirrim girl I thought I saw him checking out...that camera will tell me everything!" She plopped down on her bed (nobody was watching, so she could be a little undignified) and looked at her bracelet, which had a small screen on it that showed what the tiny video camera hidden in the Evenstar could see.

[Nimrothiel]

Oooh, good one! This one's kind of dumb, but:

*Denethor is eating cherry tomatos; suddenly a worm crawls out of the side he has just bitten into*

Denethor: "That's the third time this week that I've found a worm in my tomatos! Guard, tell the head cook that he's fired, and lock him in the dungeon!"

Pippin: "Well, my lord, it could have been worse..."

Denethor: "Did I say you could talk?"

Pippin: "Well, no, but..."

Denethor: "Oh, nevermind. How could it have been worse?"

Pippin: "You could have found half of a worm in your tomato."

Denethor: "Alright, you're going to keep the head cook company for a loooong time."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Saruman: Send out the Warg riders!
Orc1: Arrr...
(Saruman leaves)
Orc1: How are supposed to get that? He didn't give us funding for that!
Orc2: We Isengard Orcs are resourceful. We could make one. What do you have there?
Orc1: Let me see...lots of crebain and a few hyenas.
Orc2: Hmmm....

And so was born the giant hyena-"Wargs" of Isengard!!!

I metta

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I think this belongs here...

From the books...

Men turned back to their drinking and their talk.

(LotR, Book v, Chapter 4)

Wonder what they were talking about?

*Damrod approaching Damrod and Mablung*
Anborn(stands up): I can't take it anymore! *he enters a door*
Damrod: Dude, is he angry at me or something?
Mablung: No. He just lost our contest.
Damrod: What contest?
Mablung: Whoever goes to the loo first to pee will have to hunt our black "squirrel" from Mirkwood. Excuse me while I change my pants.
Damrod: ?!?!

[Nimrothiel]

Okaaay...maybe that's funnier if you're drunk. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] I guess I shouldn't talk though, I can't think of anything right now. [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Just though it up this morning(about 10PM, EST), and haven't left me since.

What if Frodo was brought before Sauron? Hmmm...

Sauron was pacing the room, evidently annoyed at Frodo's defiant silence. "So! You refuse to speak before my dark majesty, halfling? Let us change that, then." However, he did not add that a black scarf effectively prevented Frodo from speaking.

"Sir..." the Mouth of Sauron began, trembling, "if I may say so before Your Eternal Evil..."

"WHAT?!" boomed Sauron. "Speak!"

"I think the gag hinders his attempts at communication."

"Hmmm...yes. Remove it, then." The order was carried out with promptness that would have impressed Gandalf - never late, never early he is, right?

"Now, rat, speak! Where is...my preciousssss?"

"Um...your fly is open?" Frodo responded with what dignity left to him by his...erm...naked position?

"Haha. We Dark Lords never had flies. And add to the fact that the zipper wasn't even invented yet. Now cut the crap and tell me where the noisy - yet irresistable - thing is, you..."

Before Sauron could finish his derogative statement, Shelob, alerted to the presence of free repast, rushed to Barad-dûr at high speed, and climbed the high tower with ease. There, she broke the walls that protected the interrogation room. She snatched Sauron, then wrapped her in web before anyone in the room could say "The spiders are coming!"

Having finished incapacitating the Abhorred One, she returned to her lair. All in the room stood in utter silence, not so much in shock, but in fear that if anyone laughed, Sauron might come back to punish them.

But, seeing that Sauron would never return, all in the chamber began to roll in laughter.

"'Your fly is open.' Frodo, that's a good one!" the Mouth of Sauron managed to say between convulsive fits of laughter.

"Well, that was entertaining!" Ungoliant responded, as she put down the book she was reading, aptly titled "How Selob brought Sauron down."

I metta.