If Sauron came to you with 1,000,000 orcs, you would... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Aragorn · 12-22-2011, 10:10 AM

What would you do?
I'd kill them with my sword, but that is me.

Inziladun · 12-22-2011, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aragorn

What would you do?
I'd kill them with my sword, but that is me.

Do you have 1,000,000 arms?

Personally, I'd start singing a soothing tune, and slowly back away while they all stood dumbfounded.

Rikae · 01-20-2012, 12:15 PM

I would tell him it wasn't nearly enough for my purposes and not to bother me again until he had recruited a proper army. I would then suggest, should this unsatisfactory performance continue, he might lose that promotion to the balrog (a real self-starter).

narfforc · 01-21-2012, 05:08 AM

Set my 100 million Elves on him............

Galadriel55 · 01-21-2012, 08:36 AM

Tell them they've come too late.

Bom Tombadillo · 01-21-2012, 10:31 AM

Sic the cats on 'em.

Hoestly, have you ever seen what a thrown cat can do to somebody? Well, neither have I, but I can't imagine it would be pretty.

Then I would run over to the local cat-breeder for more ammunition, which rather than causing a swath of destruction through the Orc ranks (ours are so irritable!), would distract them all through sheer cuteness long enough for me to run away. Any who tried to chase after us would trip over the cats circling their ankles.

Alternatively, set up a bunch of hilarious traps (mostly involving cats), then pull out my practice bow (complete with roundish-tipped arrows), toy sword (an accessory for a game), and two Wii remotes (hey, one of the available games is "swordplay," so they should work in real life, right?) and hope they all die of laughter before I'm forced to actually make a last stand.

Lindale · 01-24-2012, 01:29 PM

Prolly get them to sign a petition for any cause I might be sponsoring at the moment; a million's a lot of signatures!

Andsigil · 01-24-2012, 05:10 PM

Quote:

If Sauron came to you with 1,000,000 orcs, you would...

do the Safety Dance.

Faramir Jones · 02-14-2012, 04:30 AM

Call upon all the legions of Legolas fans for help, saying that once I'm dealt with he'll be next on Sauron's list.

Belegorn · 07-26-2012, 04:41 PM

Throw man flesh at them, like that stuff fishers do to lure sharks, and run. What I'm doing with human parts that I can throw at people, don't ask. I think I might have had an argument with someone earlier.

Lollipop010900 · 11-13-2012, 11:35 PM

Run up a huge mountain using my elf fitness skills and shoot them down, one by one. (while yelling horrible things at them)

Dark Lord · 02-26-2013, 11:52 PM

Bow down to him, like we should anyways.

Faramir Jones · 02-27-2013, 09:00 AM

Pretend that I'm Morgoth returned, give out about how they've all gone soft, then tell them all to go back home and not return until they're evil enough.

Lairston · 05-29-2013, 06:48 PM

I would have a pressing engagement elsewhere and hightail it out of there as quickly as possible.

Elyna of Rivendell · 03-06-2014, 01:36 AM

Run.

tom the eldest · 04-16-2014, 02:27 AM

I would have called godzilla and told him to stomp on them.it would be an orcs massacre

Lotrelf · 04-16-2014, 03:13 AM

Fight until my last breath. That'd be the best thing to do.

tom the eldest · 04-16-2014, 09:31 AM

Plead to eru to destroy them all and kill sauron.

Alassë Estel · 06-21-2023, 04:31 PM

I would obey the last command of Gandalf the Grey and "Fly!"

Discretion is often the better part of valour, after all.

Galadriel55 · 06-21-2023, 06:04 PM

*point* They went that way.

Huinesoron · 06-22-2023, 07:38 AM

Put on a black cloak (I have one of those!) and join the ranks. It worked for Frodo and Sam, and with a million orcs all in one place it's not like anyone's going to be keeping track.

It would be nice to think I could use that disguise to sneak up on Sauron (who is apparently there in person) and stab him in the back a la Wormtongue, but a) unless my replica Sting is hiding a big secret that wouldn't work and b) I am a klutz. I'd probably just wait until they spread out enough and duck out into cover. Again, it worked for Frodo and Sam.

hS

Alassë Estel · 06-22-2023, 01:10 PM

[http://forum.barrowdowns.com/images/...ron;737204]Put on a black cloak (I have one of those!) and join the ranks. It worked for Frodo and Sam, and with a million orcs all in one place it's not like anyone's going to be keeping track.

It would be nice to think I could use that disguise to sneak up on Sauron (who is apparently there in person) and stab him in the back a la Wormtongue, but a) unless my replica Sting is hiding a big secret that wouldn't work and b) I am a klutz. I'd probably just wait until they spread out enough and duck out into cover. Again, it worked for Frodo and Sam.

hS[/QUOTE]

Wow. You really thought that through.

I think it is the best plan so far.

12-22-2011, 10:10 AM	#1
Aragorn Newly Deceased Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2	If Sauron came to you with 1,000,000 orcs, you would... What would you do? I'd kill them with my sword, but that is me.

01-21-2012, 05:08 AM	#4
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Set my 100 million Elves on him............ __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

01-21-2012, 08:36 AM	#5
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,382	Tell them they've come too late. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

01-21-2012, 10:31 AM	#6
Bom Tombadillo Wight Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Behind you . . . . BOO! Posts: 222	Sic the cats on 'em. Hoestly, have you ever seen what a thrown cat can do to somebody? Well, neither have I, but I can't imagine it would be pretty. Then I would run over to the local cat-breeder for more ammunition, which rather than causing a swath of destruction through the Orc ranks (ours are so irritable!), would distract them all through sheer cuteness long enough for me to run away. Any who tried to chase after us would trip over the cats circling their ankles. Alternatively, set up a bunch of hilarious traps (mostly involving cats), then pull out my practice bow (complete with roundish-tipped arrows), toy sword (an accessory for a game), and two Wii remotes (hey, one of the available games is "swordplay," so they should work in real life, right?) and hope they all die of laughter before I'm forced to actually make a last stand. __________________ Every human should have a cat or two in their care, to teach them the meaning of the word, and to correct them. Phenris Dorph

01-24-2012, 01:29 PM	#7
Lindale Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: midway upon... in a forest dark Posts: 975	Prolly get them to sign a petition for any cause I might be sponsoring at the moment; a million's a lot of signatures! __________________ The heart does things for reasons Reason itself cannot comprehend. - Blaise Pascal Legal Madness.

01-20-2012, 12:15 PM	#3
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	I would tell him it wasn't nearly enough for my purposes and not to bother me again until he had recruited a proper army. I would then suggest, should this unsatisfactory performance continue, he might lose that promotion to the balrog (a real self-starter).

02-14-2012, 04:30 AM	#9
Faramir Jones Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Lonely Isle Posts: 706	Call upon the Legolas fans for help Call upon all the legions of Legolas fans for help, saying that once I'm dealt with he'll be next on Sauron's list.

07-26-2012, 04:41 PM	#10
Belegorn Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Henneth Annûn, Ithilien Posts: 462	Throw man flesh at them, like that stuff fishers do to lure sharks, and run. What I'm doing with human parts that I can throw at people, don't ask. I think I might have had an argument with someone earlier. __________________ "For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously!" - G.S.; F. Nietzsche

11-13-2012, 11:35 PM	#11
Lollipop010900 Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 47	Run up a huge mountain using my elf fitness skills and shoot them down, one by one. (while yelling horrible things at them)

02-26-2013, 11:52 PM	#12
Dark Lord Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 21	Bow down to him, like we should anyways.

02-27-2013, 09:00 AM	#13
Faramir Jones Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Lonely Isle Posts: 706	What would I do? Pretend that I'm Morgoth returned, give out about how they've all gone soft, then tell them all to go back home and not return until they're evil enough. Last edited by Faramir Jones; 02-27-2013 at 09:11 AM.

05-29-2013, 06:48 PM	#14
Lairston Newly Deceased Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 3	I would have a pressing engagement elsewhere and hightail it out of there as quickly as possible. __________________ RPG Tools - Tools for the Roleplayer or writer Beaver Valley Software - software

03-06-2014, 01:36 AM	#15
Elyna of Rivendell Animated Skeleton Join Date: May 2013 Location: Rivendell (duh) Posts: 37	Run.

04-16-2014, 02:27 AM	#16
tom the eldest Wight Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: far away,in the southern arda Posts: 153	I would have called godzilla and told him to stomp on them.it would be an orcs massacre __________________ Fly,you fools!-gandalf,the bridge of khazad dûm

04-16-2014, 03:13 AM	#17
Lotrelf Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 265	Fight until my last breath. That'd be the best thing to do. __________________ A short saying oft contains much wisdom. ~Sophocles

04-16-2014, 09:31 AM	#18
tom the eldest Wight Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: far away,in the southern arda Posts: 153	Plead to eru to destroy them all and kill sauron. __________________ Fly,you fools!-gandalf,the bridge of khazad dûm

06-21-2023, 04:31 PM	#19
Alassë Estel Wight Join Date: Jun 2023 Location: Treading the Narrow Way Posts: 198	I would obey the last command of Gandalf the Grey and "Fly!" Discretion is often the better part of valour, after all. __________________ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

06-21-2023, 06:04 PM	#20
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,382	point They went that way. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

06-22-2023, 07:38 AM	#21
Huinesoron Overshadowed Eagle Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea Posts: 3,902	Put on a black cloak (I have one of those!) and join the ranks. It worked for Frodo and Sam, and with a million orcs all in one place it's not like anyone's going to be keeping track. It would be nice to think I could use that disguise to sneak up on Sauron (who is apparently there in person) and stab him in the back a la Wormtongue, but a) unless my replica Sting is hiding a big secret that wouldn't work and b) I am a klutz. I'd probably just wait until they spread out enough and duck out into cover. Again, it worked for Frodo and Sam. hS __________________ Have you burned the ships that could bear you back again? ~Finrod: The Rock Opera

06-22-2023, 01:10 PM	#22
Alassë Estel Wight Join Date: Jun 2023 Location: Treading the Narrow Way Posts: 198	[http://forum.barrowdowns.com/images/...ron;737204]Put on a black cloak (I have one of those!) and join the ranks. It worked for Frodo and Sam, and with a million orcs all in one place it's not like anyone's going to be keeping track. It would be nice to think I could use that disguise to sneak up on Sauron (who is apparently there in person) and stab him in the back a la Wormtongue, but a) unless my replica Sting is hiding a big secret that wouldn't work and b) I am a klutz. I'd probably just wait until they spread out enough and duck out into cover. Again, it worked for Frodo and Sam. hS[/QUOTE] Wow. You really thought that through. I think it is the best plan so far. __________________ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16