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09-03-2011, 08:01 PM
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#1 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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Phantom: The Thread (The Most Important Thread EVER)
I'm sure the majority of you are familiar with Chuck Norris Facts, but in case you're not, here are a couple of examples.
Fact: Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Fact: Ghosts like to sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories. Fact: Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Fact: Chuck Norris once kicked a man in the soul. As great as Chuck Norris is, all Downers know that he pales in comparison to The Phantom. So- logically there ought to be a place where people can post various Downs/Tolkien-related Phantom Phacts and testimonies to Phantom's greatness. So, let's get things kicked off here-
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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09-03-2011, 08:04 PM
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#2 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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Phact: Phantom once put on the One Ring... IT turned invisible.
Phact: Phantom knows where the Entwives are. Phact: One time in a Werewolf game, Phantom fake revealed as the Hunter so convincingly that even the real Hunter believed him.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. Last edited by the phantom; 09-03-2011 at 10:59 PM. |
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09-03-2011, 08:44 PM
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#3 |
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Gruesome Spectre
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Heaven's doorstep
Posts: 8,037
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Phact: All the people inside phantom have their own FBI phile.
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Music alone proves the existence of God. |
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09-03-2011, 09:13 PM
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#4 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,518
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Phact: The sight of phantom caused Butterbur to literally melt
Phact: the phantom convinced Elrond and Gandalf their plan to send a hobbit blindly into Mordor was stupid when all they had to do was give him the ring and he could unmake it. Thus, the One Ring was unmade by the phantom. The story titled "Lord of the Rings" is a load of lies made up by a jealous hobbit.
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Fenris Penguin
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09-03-2011, 09:27 PM
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#5 |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Phact: Wherever three or more Downers are, the phantom is there also.
Phact: When the phantom looks into the mirror of Galadriel, he sees only himself. Phact: When Mandos pronounced a doom upon the phantom that he didn't like, the phantom turned a cold shoulder. That shoulder is the Helcaraxe. Phact: Gollum thought the time had come to ask something hard and horrible. This is what he said: This thing all things devours Birds, beasts, trees, flowers Gnaws iron, bites steel Grinds hard stones to meal Slays king, ruins town And beats high mountains down Unfortunately for Gollum Bilbo had heard that sort of thing before; and the answer was all around him any way. "the phantom!" he said without even scratching his head or putting on his thinking cap. Phact: the phantom can carry it for you. Phact: the phantom can simply walk into Mordor. Phact: the phantom never, ever drops eaves. Phact: the phantom really, really likes it when people talk about him.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-03-2011, 09:28 PM
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#6 |
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Gruesome Spectre
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Heaven's doorstep
Posts: 8,037
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Phact: Phantom the neapolitan was the true head of the Istari.
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Music alone proves the existence of God. |
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09-03-2011, 09:37 PM
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#7 |
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Gruesome Spectre
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Heaven's doorstep
Posts: 8,037
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Phact: When phantom is beside him, Manwë can predict the outcome of fantasy sports.
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Music alone proves the existence of God. |
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09-03-2011, 10:16 PM
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#8 | |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Phact: 87% of Downers have the phantom's profile as their homepage. The other 13% haven't visited the forum since 12-31-1969.
Phact: the phantom never uncloaks, because he doesn't want half of North America to go blind. Phact: the phantom puts the 'Zoom' in Mount Zoom. Phact: The Merisuwyniel smilie ( Phact: the phantom once visited the Caves of Aglarond and decided they needed more zazz. So he zazzed them. Phact: Eowyn and Merry were just plain lucky in ending the witch king. Glorfindel's original prophecy was Quote:
Phact: The wane of Gondor can be traced back to the exact moment that Atanatar he Glorious proclaimed "Gondor has no phantom. Gondor needs no phantom". Phact: The only reason that Meneltarma survived the fall of Numenor was because the phantom was chillaxin' there. Phact: the phantom followed the lights and lit a little candle of his own, but suffered no ill effects. Phact: Everyone thinks that "Precious" is Gollum's pet name for the Ring. It isn't. Know why? Because it's Gollum's pet name for the phantom. Phact: The Snowmen of Forochel are always a bit depressed, because they know they can never be quite as cool as the phantom. Phact: Tilion chases Vasa because he thinks the phantom is driving it. Phact: The reason that Luthien and Arwen were said to be so alike was...well, let's just say that Thingol and Elrond weren't the most attentive of husbands.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-04-2011, 09:46 AM
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#9 |
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Shade with a Blade
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A Rainy Night In Soho
Posts: 2,512
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Phact: The Phantom doesn't have to wait 30 seconds between posts.
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Stories and songs. |
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09-04-2011, 09:59 AM
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#10 |
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Shade with a Blade
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A Rainy Night In Soho
Posts: 2,512
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Phact: The Phantom went back in time and made the internet, then came back and told the Barrow-Wight to create the Barrow-Downs. The BW said, "What the heck is a Barrow-Down?" So the Phantom went farther back in time and made Tolkien put the Barrows-Downs into The Lord of the Rings. He did this while in utero. (It is also possible that the Phantom IS the internet.)
Phact: That's not his avatar. That's his photograph. Phact: Tom Bombadil may be the Master, but the Phantom is Tom Bombadil's Master.
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Stories and songs. |
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09-04-2011, 11:46 AM
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#11 |
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Wight of the Old Forest
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Unattended on the railway station, in the litter at the dancehall
Posts: 3,329
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Phact: Contrary to popular belief in Gondor, the Argonath originally were miniature action figures of the phantom.
Phact: Mount Doom originally was the phantom's teapot warmer before he gave it to Sauron for the latter's 1000,000,000th birthday. Phact: Two forces are as fate to all things in Arda - the Music of the Ainur and the phantom. Men are free to live their lives unbound by the former, but even they can't escape the latter.
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Und aus dem Erebos kamen viele seelen herauf der abgeschiedenen toten.- Homer, Odyssey, Canto XI |
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09-04-2011, 02:15 PM
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#12 |
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Wight
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Behind you . . . . BOO!
Posts: 222
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Phact: the phantom once punched Chuck Norris. The effect of two such forces being near each other annihilated both of them. the phantom came back from the dead. Chuck Norris didn't, so tp used his omnipresence to impersonate him.
Phact: J.R.R. Tolkien was really the phantom in disguise. Phact: the phantom may or may not actually be himself in disguise. |
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09-04-2011, 04:11 PM
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#13 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Phact: phantom beat Sean Bean in a dying contest.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-04-2011, 05:38 PM
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The Sweetest Spoiler
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: from beneath you it giggles incessantly
Posts: 5,789
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Phact: You may not be able to edit a WW post after the fact, but Phantom can edit the post before you've even made it.
Phact: The only reason why we're not sure whether balrogs have wings is because Phantom did such a good job of ripping them off. Phact: When making the Rings movies, the film makers approached Phantom for styling tips, hoping to model Legolas after a paragon of phashion and charm. Phantom sent them pictures of his mother as a joke, but the studio didn't understand and used them anyway. Phact: Phantom makes the best meat dishes. Why? Did he steal Sauron's spice rack full of secret herbs and spices? Of course not! He hired Melkor to do it for him. Phact: Phantom's standard signature ("The Phantom has posted. This thread is now important.") is, in fact, a lie. His posts don't make a thread important. His posts are the only reason new threads exist. Phact: Feanor was Phantom in disguise. His death was faked because Phantom wanted to go back home and watch football. Phact: J.R.R. really stands for "Joking! Read Reverse." If you read Rings backward and use the proper cipher, the books are actually a testament to the greatness of Phantom. (The estate, naturally, denies any such allegations, mostly because they've read the decoded books and realize that messing with Phantom would be a bad idea.)
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"My heart always cowers behind the defense of my wit." Friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together. Fenris bookworm.
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09-04-2011, 08:11 PM
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#15 |
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Gruesome Spectre
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Heaven's doorstep
Posts: 8,037
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Phact: The forum AI dreams of phantom.
Phact: Phantom once played every role in a WW game while simultaneously modding, and still won. Phact: When phantom went to Tirion and announced he was hungry, the hill of Túna became a hill of tuna.
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Music alone proves the existence of God. |
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09-04-2011, 09:30 PM
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#16 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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Phact: The Phantom once spit in a lake in the Misty Mts. That lake became known as Mirrormere.
Phact: Phantom can get fish from the forbidden pool whenever he feels like it. Phact: When he was young, Sean Bean foolishly bet Phantom that he couldn't eat an entire herd of goats. Of course he lost the bet, and his punishment- from that day forward he was required to accept any movie role he was offered in which his character dies. Phact: In Werewolf, Phantom once posted "++Bad Guys" and gave a vote to all the Wolves and Cobblers in the village.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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09-05-2011, 12:20 AM
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#17 |
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Shade with a Blade
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A Rainy Night In Soho
Posts: 2,512
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Phact: The cake is a phantom.
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Stories and songs. |
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09-05-2011, 12:25 AM
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#18 |
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Shade with a Blade
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A Rainy Night In Soho
Posts: 2,512
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Phact: Chuck Norris is the Phantom's son. Sean Bean was the mother. So was Bruce Lee. (The mother, I mean.)
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Stories and songs. Last edited by Gwathagor; 09-05-2011 at 05:17 PM. |
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09-05-2011, 01:46 AM
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#19 |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Phact: The only mistake the phantom has ever made was accidentally sneezing on Lalaith.
Phact: the phantom wrote the "not allowed" list for the bounders. Phact: The strong wine of Dorwinion was not meant for the tables of the Elvenking, it was meant for the phantom. Phact: Aragorn and Legolas went now with Eomer in the van...which was driven by the phantom. Phact: the phantom gave a personal reference and convinced Saruman the White to hire a random Rohanian underling named Grima. Phact: The Uruk-hai and the Olog-hai share a common ancestor. Named the phantom. It was indeed, a black evil. Phact: Whatcha doing after work? Yeah? Sounds fun. the phantom has done it twice already today. Phact: One of the phantom's courtiers was mumbling about the evil king of Angmar one day, prompting the phantom to ask "Which king?". The name stuck.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-05-2011, 05:03 AM
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#20 |
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Wight of the Old Forest
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Unattended on the railway station, in the litter at the dancehall
Posts: 3,329
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Phact: Das phantom ist die wurst aller würste.
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Und aus dem Erebos kamen viele seelen herauf der abgeschiedenen toten.- Homer, Odyssey, Canto XI |
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09-05-2011, 08:24 AM
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#21 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Between the past and the future
Posts: 1,159
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Phact: the phantom solved the Canonicity thread.
Phact: the phantom doesn't write Tolkien fan fiction. Tolkien wrote phantom fan fiction. Phact: The Music of the Ainur was, in phact, the phantom singing in the shower.
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Got corsets? |
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09-05-2011, 09:27 AM
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#22 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Phact: the phantom can rep the same person twice in a row.
Phact: the phantom is not limited to twenty PMs. Phact: the phantom can use more than three smileys in the same post.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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09-05-2011, 01:48 PM
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#23 |
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Werewolf Psychic
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In fire, water, earth, and air. But mostly water.
Posts: 2,832
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Phact: The amount of hot air in the phantom's huge head could supply heat to every hobbit house in the Shire for the next decade.
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Shasta– ... However, if he's innocent his famous clairvoyant powers must be taking the week off. Meanwhile, the Night-kills have been awfully effective– almost like we're dealing with a psychic wolf... - Nerwen, WW LXXV |
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09-05-2011, 05:46 PM
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#24 |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,381
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Phact: the phantom waited until I'm away to start this thread on purpose, so that I'll have 23 posts to read through.
Phact: he is quite enjoying himself. Phact: he made the One Ring before unmaking it in Rivendell. But even so, he still rules them all.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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09-05-2011, 06:07 PM
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#25 |
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Shade with a Blade
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A Rainy Night In Soho
Posts: 2,512
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Phact: Chuck Norris only counted to infinity after failing to count to phantom.
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Stories and songs. |
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09-05-2011, 06:20 PM
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#26 |
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Shade with a Blade
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A Rainy Night In Soho
Posts: 2,512
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Phact: The reason the Eagles couldn't just drop the Ring into Orodruin was because the Phantom had already booked them.
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Stories and songs. |
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09-05-2011, 06:51 PM
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#27 |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,381
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Phact: this is the most important thread EVER.
  Phact: TP is invading the subconcience of other Downers. See the 'Dreams thread for more details.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera Last edited by Galadriel55; 09-05-2011 at 07:08 PM. |
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09-06-2011, 04:34 AM
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#28 | |
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Wisest of the Noldor
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: ˙˙˙ssɐןƃ ƃuıʞooן ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥʇ
Posts: 6,694
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Quote:
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. |
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09-06-2011, 07:26 AM
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#29 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Phact: the phantom can close threads.
Phact: the phantom can delete anyone's posts (especially yours). Phact: the phantom controls the skwerls AND the spiders.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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09-06-2011, 11:33 AM
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#30 | |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Phact: I painstakingly went through the phantom's posting history, phacebook, myspace, website, etc., and gleaned the wisdom of the ages.
Here in the phantom's own words, is the meaning of liphe: Quote:
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-06-2011, 11:34 AM
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#31 |
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Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Phact: Go not to the phantom for counsel, for he will say things that will make your head explode.
Oddwen: What? Not 42? |
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09-06-2011, 11:41 AM
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#32 | |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Quote:
Dear Lhuny, I think if you'll re-read the second paragraph... ...wait... ...ohoho, my silly subconscious! Here I thought I was typing up an insightful essay into the human condition! Instead, my thoughts seem to have strayed to thoughts of the one who can go down the road without keeping his feet and not get swept away. Funny how the human mind works, isn't it?
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-06-2011, 12:03 PM
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#33 |
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Wight
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Behind you . . . . BOO!
Posts: 222
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Phact: the phantom won The Game. the phantom did not lose The Game when he looked at this.
Phact: The Secret Fire isn't with Eru, it's with the phantom. Phact: the phantom once built a sandcastle. That sandcastle is now known as Taniquetil. |
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09-06-2011, 12:09 PM
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#34 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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Just wanted to pass along what a friend of mine said about your post, Oddwen.
"At first I thought that 'meaning of liphe' essay was just a big joke, but I went ahead and read it, and as I went along I actually found it to be quite inspirational. I am now quite overcome with a desire to go out and be extremely awesome today. Thanks so much, Oddwen!"
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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09-06-2011, 01:03 PM
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#35 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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Phact: Phantom laughs at live dragons.
Phact: Scoring three goals during a game is known as a "hat trick". Scoring three goals per minute during a game is known as a "Phantom trick". Phact: Bilbo likes Phantom exactly as much as he deserves. Phact: In their native language, it takes Ents over four years to refer to Phantom.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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09-06-2011, 03:19 PM
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#36 |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,381
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Phact: Morgoth was Phantom in disguise. Isn't it obvious, when his former name means "One who arises in might"?
Phact: the phantom is a cyber murderer. He murders RPG characters. Phact: his horse is better than Phelaroph. Phact: his head is so big that he doesn't fit in the pavilion on the Party Field. Phact: the three trolls didn't turn to stone because of Gandalf or the sun or any such; rather, they became stone upon taking a mere glance at the phantom. Which brings me to this conclusion: TP has basilisk blood in him. (  <-- puts on protective goggles)Phact: from now on, any "f" sound will be spelled with PH.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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09-06-2011, 03:36 PM
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#37 | |
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Wight
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Behind you . . . . BOO!
Posts: 222
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Quote:
Phact: You do not exist. You are just a phigment oph the phantom's imagination. Phact: The Ringwraiths are deadly enemies, but they are only shadows yet oph the power and terror they would possess iph they were as awesome as the phantom (they aren't). |
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09-06-2011, 03:41 PM
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#38 | |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,381
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Quote:
 Phact: TP can make better jewels than Pheanor. Phact: aphter seeing but a shadow oph all TP's glory, the Hobbits changed their horn-blowing signal to "Phoes! Phire! Phear! Just make sure not to wake up and anger The Phantom!" ETA: Phact: the phantom wears special kind of clothing: it's called phants.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera Last edited by Galadriel55; 09-06-2011 at 04:43 PM. |
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09-06-2011, 05:26 PM
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#39 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Phact: Go not to the elves for council, for they will say "Go ask the phantom."
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-06-2011, 05:30 PM
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#40 |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,381
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Phact: phantom is the alien.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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Linear Mode
