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#1 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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This is the first draft of the chapter Of Beleriand and Its Realms
Our basis text is that of the Quenta Silmarillion given in HoME 5. The changes from QS to LQ are tracked. Wherever the text is different from that this is marked by an editing mark. The markings are: BR-xx for any questions about the accuracy or canon aspect of the phrase or section. BR-EX-xx for the changes from QS to LQ as well as expansions from the Grey Annals or other materials. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned) Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks {example} = text that should be deleted [example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes <source example> = additions with source information ...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source. In LQ2 there were several names that were changed to the final form on the manuscript. I do not track those changes here, simply adding them in as the emended final form in LQ2: Bladorion > Ard-galen; Nivrost > Nevrast; Helcarakse > Helcaraxë; Inglor > Finrod; Eglorest > Eglarest; Ingwil > Ringwil; Nan Dungorthin > Nan Dungortheb; Umboth Muilin > Aelin-uial; Taur-na-Faroth > Tair-en-Faroth; Finrod > Finarfin Quote:
BR-01: This is the Quenta, not the Pennas, correct? Thus I changed it. If this is wrong, then i retract this change. BR-EX-02: Change from LQ2 BR-EX-03: change from LQ2 BR-EX-04: change from LQ2 BR-EX-05: addition from LQ2 BR-EX-06: change from LQ2 BR-EX-07: change from LQ2 BR-EX-08: change from LQ2 BR-EX-09: deletion from LQ1 BR-EX-10: change from LQ2 BR-EX-11: change from LQ2 BR-EX-12: change from LQ2 BR-EX-13: addition from LQ2 BR-EX-14: change from LQ2 BR-EX-15: change from LQ2 BR-EX-16: change from LQ2 BR-EX-17: change from LQ2 BR-EX-17.5: This is an addition to notes on the expanded map of beleriand accompanying the Maeglin story. They seemed to fit best here. BR-EX-18: change from LQ2 BR-EX-19: change from LQ2 BR-EX-20: change from LQ2 BR-EX-21: change from LQ2 BR-EX-22: change from LQ2 BR-EX-23: change from LQ2 BR-EX-24: change from LQ2 BR-02: The names "Little Duin Daer" and "Greater Duin Daer" seem awkward in the extreme and would definitely have been changed. I am not sure what to do. BR-EX-25: addition from QS BR-EX-26: change from LQ2 BR-EX-27: change from LQ2 BR-03: This I changed because Melkor did not make the Orcs at this time in the later myth. BR-EX-28: change from LQ2 BR-EX-29: change from LQ2 BR-04: Orodreth is the son of Angrod in this version, yes? BR-EX-30: change from LQ2 BR-EX-31: This is another pertinent addition from the note on the map of Beleriand from the Maeglin story. BR-05: I am not sure which battle this refers to, but since the earlier emendation from second to third was made as a notation, and this was left unchanged, I think that it was merely an oversight, and as both were written as "Second" originally, then they should both be changed to third. BR-EX-32: change from LQ2 BR-EX-33: change from LQ2 BR-EX-34: This information from the Grey Annals was not written anywhere else, so I added it in. BR-EX-35: The same as 34 above. |
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#2 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,714
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To every thing I do not comment on, I agree.
BR-01: Correct, it is the Quenta. BR-02: As fare as I could find, both names ‘Little Gelion’ and ‘Greater Gelion’ are only used in this chapter. ‘Little Gelion’ twice, ‘Greater Gelion’ only here. So I think it is safe to skip using the names and addresses them by the term ‘smaller tributery of Duin Daer’ and ‘greater tributary of Duin Daer’. BR-EX-25: I agree to this addition, even so it is from an older source. BR-03: I agree that we have to change it, but ‘unleashed’ is nice but too risky. The Orks were seen in Beleriand before, so they were not leashed. What about ‘sent out’? BR-04: Yes, Orodreth is the son of Angrod. I agree to the change. BR-05: The battle before which the Orcs came through Maglor’s Gap was the Dagor Aglareb, the Third Battle. BR-EX-17.5: I agree to the change, but the editing is somewhat defective. Within the brackets you end with full stopp, but then the sentence from before the brackets continues. I don’t think that is gramatically fully correct. I would change it thus: Quote:
Findegil |
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#3 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Agreed to all.
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#4 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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I actually just realized a mistake. In the paragraph about Nargothrond, this change should be made:
Quote:
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#5 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,714
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Since we speak about the Falas and Círdan was not called 'King' I would edit diffrently:
Quote:
Findegil |
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#6 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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This seems good.
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#7 | ||||||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,714
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I have looked into the composition of Sil77 and found some parts worth at least considering:
BR-EX-13.5: We discussed this in another thread. Since I want to keep at least the possibility of Galadriel crossing Ered Lindon before the end of the First Age, we have either to skip this passage or alter it: Quote:
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BR-EX-34: I think there was a mistake here in the editing. It should be: Quote:
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Findegil |
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#8 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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These are all great, thanks Fin!!
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#9 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 245
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As a minor thing I detected revising your draft. I think that this chapter is a good one to include a passage (that f.e. I entitled Of de buildings of the Eldar) at the end with material extracted from Words, phrases and Passages in PE17 pages 108, 109.
I give the work to you because I have not the digitised text in English. Only have a composition extraction copied from the issue translated by me into Spanish. Greetings |
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#10 | ||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,714
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That is a good find, gondowe!
Here is passage gondowe is referring to: Words, Phrases and Passages; ‘Q ambar, metta, world end; ¶ Ambar, umbar, Turambar.’ PE 17; page 108 – 109: Quote:
Quote:
BR-EX-37: Here we switch to the revised part. BR-EX-38: The Author’s note in the revised part is cryptically for me. I used that from the unrevised text instead. I expanded ‘<’, ‘>’, ‘S’ and ‘Q’. I hope that all these nice phonological sings will go through. Mark that in the last sentence I was not able to find an ‘a’ with macron and caron for the fisrt'a' in mēlā-mbar. For the original text I would have to look harder. Respectfully Findegil |
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#11 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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This is amazing! I do not have access to any of the VT or PE writings, so any additions from them will have to come from you guys. Fin, your edit looks good.
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#12 | |
Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Aug 2023
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 43
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Quote:
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#13 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,714
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Thanks for catching this! I have no clou what happend here.
Respectfully Findegil |
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