What do you assign to Mordor?

[Galadriel55]

Speaking of English textbooks, my sister and I decided that English (and Lit) classes in school are just gone to Mordor, and we set out on a quest to educate ourselves about all the great books school ignores in favour of mediocre modern ones with "good themes". So perhaps by the age of 30 I will consider myself a well-rounded and well-educated individual. My biggest problem now is that once I finish these books, I want to discuss them with someone, and no one else cares enough to read them.

[Galadriel55]

Wet shoes!

Also, that one place in a lecture hall that is lower than everything else so all the rainwater, spilled coffee, and other common liquids tend to accumulate there.

[Nerwen]

Starlings broke into my roof yesterday and they're building nests there and thete's heaps of them and they just. won't. shut. up.

[Mithalwen]

Try a goshawk. That will sort them out.

[Nerwen]

I don't know, there's quite a few goshawks around here and they don't seem interested...

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

I don't know, there's quite a few goshawks around here and they don't seem interested...

Around these parts we have "critter control" businesses that specialize in wildlife removal and sealing homes against further invasion. They aren't cheap though, and I suspect it's the same if they operate in your neck of the woods.

Years ago we had a problem with mockingbirds building a nest in our chimney, culminating with one flying down into the fireplace and being unable to get out. It took a section of chicken wire mortared into the top of the chimney to end that issue.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

Years ago we had a problem with mockingbirds building a nest in our chimney, culminating with one flying down into the fireplace and being unable to get out. It took a section of chicken wire mortared into the top of the chimney to end that issue.

Oh, we used to have a squirrel live on our balcony. She was very sweet and we almost tamed her, but then she discovered that she can bite through the screen on the balcony. One day we come home to find her in our kitchen, a jar of peanuts knocked over and half the plants dug up. We would find peanuts tucked into random places around the house for weeks afterwards. My father got a new screen that was made of some harder metal, but squirrel teeth were harder still. Eventually we had to remove her nest completely cause she was just way too good at getting into our house when we weren't looking. Also, the nest was making moisture seep into one of the walls, so it would have had to go anyways.

[Mithalwen]

Years ago we had a problem with mockingbirds

I always thought Harper Lee's opus was overrated and I suspect it was of no use whatsoever http://gagnamite.com/wp-content/uplo...cking_bird.jpg

[Nerwen]

G55, in my old place it was like that with brushtail possums. They'd come in through the cat flap and raid the fruit bowl.

Here, it's more varied. Bats, for example, last autumn, and it's started again now it's spring- I think they're coming after moths. I wouldn't mind except the cat kills them.

[Nolwë_Namiel]

The Blue Jays drive me crazy in the fall because my neighbours have filbert (hazelnut) trees along our joint fence. When the nuts ripen, the Jays crack them open by tapping them on my roof. The first year I lived in the house I couldn't figure out what the noise was. LOL

[Zigûr]

This evening I shall assign my Argonath bookends that came with my Extended Edition of "The Fellowship of the Ring", which I started actually using as bookends for the first time this year and both of which have completely failed to stop books from falling over.

Should have expected no less from film tie-in junk. They're based on the film design, of course, so they represent Elendil and Isildur rather than Isildur and Anárion, which probably explains their uselessness - they lack the weight and solidity of authenticity to the original text behind them!

[Galadriel55]

Course schedules that mean half the time you have to eat lunch when most people have dinner, and half the time when most people eat breakfast.

When the weather can't decide if it wants to rain or snow. On the same topic, old floppy umbrellas that turn inside out at the merest hint of wind.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Returning from holiday and not having the following day off work.

[Pitchwife]

^I second that.

I assign drivers on the fast lane who know perfectly well that you'd like to overtake that truck in front of you but step on the accelerator as soon as you indicate.

[Zigûr]

This is a bit literal, but on the side of my apartment building which my balcony faces (our other side has a nice view of a river, a park and central Sydney) there's an abandoned lot from a failed building project which is extremely Dagorlad/Morannon-like: a waste of rusted metal and great piled-up heaps of blasted stone. When it flooded after a series of recent rains it didn't do much to improve its appearance. It might be in need of being subjected to a time when "the Great Sea should enter in and wash it with oblivion."

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I just realized with one evening to get work done, that I forgot to do an assignment earlier on in my class. I have to do that tomorrow night, and post to the class discussion, clean my room, and pack for a long weekend in South Carolina. This is all in one night. I am so upset. I knew I was missing something, but I was blissfully unaware of the paper I haven't written yet. Thankfully it's only supposed to be two pages, which I can write quickly. But I have to say that the APA styling can be obnoxious.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

I just realized with one evening to get work done, that I forgot to do an assignment earlier on in my class. I have to do that tomorrow night, and post to the class discussion, clean my room, and pack for a long weekend in South Carolina. This is all in one night. I am so upset. I knew I was missing something, but I was blissfully unaware of the paper I haven't written yet. Thankfully it's only supposed to be two pages, which I can write quickly. But I have to say that the APA styling can be obnoxious.

I know what you mean. *pats*

[Galadriel55]

Scumbag technology.

Computer works perfectly when all I need it for is procrastination. As soon as I actually need the computer at a certain time, it refuses to turn on.

First time that happened, it wouldn't turn on in the campus library for 15 minutes, which made me late for a meeting.

Second time, I was supposed to use it to write an exam, and it wouldn't turn on for the whole evening.

Last time, I had to use it for a presentation. It was working fine in the few days past, and even on the presentation morning, but come the critical hour - nope, turning on is too much trouble for this piece of metal rubbish.

I am fond of my computer, but it can really be a jerk.

[Corsair_Caruso]

Dissertation writing. I have never read or written so much about Professor Tolkien in my life, and although I still love his writings and his contributions to the world, I would prefer to be done writing about him academically, for a while.

[Nerwen]

The Horrible Thing That Screams in the Night.

Really, I don't know what it is. It sounds like a mixture of a yowling cat, a screeching bird and a whinnying horse, with sometimes a touch of demonic laughter thrown in, and sometimes a sort of whimper. I think it can fly. It's the most horrible thng I've ever heard and if I didn't know better I'd say it was a literal denizen of Mordor.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

The Horrible Thing That Screams in the Night.

Really, I don't know what it is. It sounds like a mixture of a yowling cat, a screeching bird and a whinnying horse, with sometimes a touch of demonic laughter thrown in, and sometimes a sort of whimper. I think it can fly. It's the most horrible thng I've ever heard and if I didn't know better I'd say it was a literal denizen of Mordor.

Is Yoko Ono accounted for?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

Is Yoko Ono accounted for?

Oh that must be it.

[Pitchwife]

To Mordor the orkish attack on a merry gathering of dancing fairies wherein 49 people were killed and many others wounded in Orlando, Florida. I feel we should let our Downer friends in the LGBTQIA community know that we're with them in their shock and grief.

[Inziladun]

Telephone scammers. Had a message at my home number from the "IRS" threatening court action for supposed tax evasion. If I had time, I'd call them back with my Silmarillion in hand and when whomever picked up, just start reading to them.

[Marwhini]

Orange Orangutans wearing Ferrets or blond Stoats on their heads....

I suspect he thinks Mordor is where the Good-guys all live, though.

MB

[Galadriel55]

Course selection process. Especially when you have to pick a number of courses from a list, and three quarters of the courses conflicts with the couple mandatory courses on the timetable. Dear university scheduling office or whoever you are, are you doing this on purpose to prevent students from graduating on time?

[Galadriel55]

Having to write self-flattering entries on applications. I am only the most awesome candidate you can ever imagine. Blargh.

Also, I discovered I didn't know how to spell "Bristol boards".

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

The US presidential election. This election cycle is giving me so much anxiety.

[Pitchwife]

^You're not alone.

[Galadriel55]

Echoes of that battle have reached the ears even of this hermit. I've just accepted that it's going to be bad for me regardless, and I'm glad I don't have to make this decision. (but my condolences to those of you living below the 49th - or west of Yukon. )

[Inziladun]

I assign all presidents, prime ministers, rulers, and regents who put the interests of self and party above the common good.

[William Cloud Hicklin]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

The US presidential election. This election cycle is giving me so much anxiety.

Yes, Lotho Pimple vs Ted Sandyman is rather a Hobson's choice for us hobbits.

[Nerwen]

That's funny, because to my mind Donald Trump is more equivalent to Sauron. It's really no contest.

I am breaking my normal rule about never discussing politics here: please, Americans, at all costs do not vote for this freak. You have the rest of the world bloody well terrified.

[Andsigil]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

That's funny, because to my mind Donald Trump is more equivalent to Sauron. It's really no contest.

I am breaking my normal rule about never discussing politics here: please, Americans, at all costs do not vote for this freak. You have the rest of the world bloody well terrified.

Odd, I didn't think it was your rule; I thought it was a forum rule that politics weren't to be discussed here. But, hey, if we're allowed to make exceptions, because reasons, well, I've got a manifesto or two that I'd love to post.

By the way, I'd caution you and any other non-Americans against trying to tell Americans how to vote. "The Guardian" found out the hard way in '04 that such efforts have a way of backfiring.

[William Cloud Hicklin]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

That's funny, because to my mind Donald Trump is more equivalent to Sauron. It's really no contest.

I am breaking my normal rule about never discussing politics here: please, Americans, at all costs do not vote for this freak. You have the rest of the world bloody well terrified.

Only problem with that otherwise excellent advice is that the alternative is..... Hillary Clinton.


In a democracy, each party devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule — and both commonly succeed and are right. --H L Mencken

Rarely has that quip been as applicable as in this election. Can we just cancel it and have a do-over?

[Galadriel55]

Being betrayed by Google Docs. You work so long on formatting your equations, and adding diagrams, and then it refuses to download or copy both into normal Word! And you have to do the work from scratch. I trusted you, Google Docs!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

It happened. We have a terrible president elect. I'm scared.

[Mithalwen]

That is democracy for you. Democracy means you are liable to end up with Boaty McBoatface.

[Galadriel55]

Rumour has it the Canadian immigration services are completely flooded by US applicants.

[Mithalwen]

Hmmm, have you considered building a wall to keep out people seeking a better life North of the border?