Be careful what you wish for...

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Legolas would share his strawberry scented shampoo.

Your wish is granted. But Pippin drank some of it and got sick. Frodo used it as hair gel and Gimli coated his ax with it as a crude form of chemical warfare and steadfastly stuck to using only soap and water to bath.

I wish that Hurin hadn't killed Mim.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Hurin hadn't killed Mim.

Granted. Hurin mistakes Mim for a small child. Mim is then humiliated by Hurin when he is spanked for being bad and is then put in the corner.


I wish hobbits would shave their feet.



(Sorry Hookbill, but I speak spanish and would give the orc his biscuits. Then I would break his mace arm due to being paranoid.)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

I wish hobbits would shave their feet.

Granted. However, with all this hair lying about in Hobbiton, the Hobbits get rather annoyed and start to become grumpy and war-like. Now, when Gandalf enters to tell Frodo of the Ring, he is driven away by angry hobbits with knives.

I wish Gaffer Gamgee had gone with the Fellowship to give his words of wisdom.

[Morsul the Dark]

You're wish is granted howeever due to his overzelous willingness to advisae he keeps talking in the old forest and the ringwraiths find frodo and the quest fails,


I wish that Sauron did get the ring back and used to its power to desztroy those obnoxious elves but kept galadriel alive becauser shes cool


**sorry dont like elves

[Eonwe]

Originally Posted by morsl teh dark

I wish that Sauron did get the ring back and used to its power to desztroy those obnoxious elves but kept galadriel alive becauser shes cool

Your wish is granted. When Galadriel finally met face to face with Sauron, she saw something of herself in him: the will to rule. So she became his queen, and thus not cool.

I wish aragorn had killed the swarthy southernor.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Eonwe

I wish aragorn had killed the swarthy southernor.

Granted, but the Bree police arrest him and chuck him into prison and the Hobbits have to go on their own.

I wish Sauron had his own T-V game show.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Sauron had his own T-V game show.

Your wish is granted. The Running Man debuted on Mordorvision T. A. 3000 Every so often Sauron released one of his prisoners and if someone found the prisoner, dead or alive, the finder got a big prize. If the prisoner was captured alive it would be killed in some novel way, such as being fed to Shelob, for your viewing pleasure. If the prisoner survived the month he was set free. It became a big hit all across Middle-earth. But it came to an end when the Ring was destroyed. Years later, part of the platform of the New Shadow conspirators was reviving it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Not making a wish, master Elf?

[The Elf-warrior]

Ooops.

I wish that Radagast was a professor of ornithology at the University of Minas Tirith.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Radagast was a professor of ornithology at the University of Minas Tirith.

Due to the nearby roaming of flatulent unicorns, your wish has been made real!

Radagast becomes a professor of ornithology as well as the head auger for Denethor. Denethor is very impressed with Radagast's ablities and sends Faramir to learn his wise ways in thus he never becomes a Ranger of Ilithen. When Saruman comes to collect Radagast's allegience (in vain) Radagast claims that Saruman is such a fool that his brain must be less than if not equal to the wing-span of a fully laden hummingbird of the Greater West Arda.
Insulted, Saruman sends orcs to crush the unsuspecting Minas Tirith right around the same time as the attack of Pelennor field: in thus all of the Lord of the Rings heros die (or die again, in the case of Gandalf)... except for Frodo and Sam (so far).

Now aren't you glad there is no such thing as a flatulent unicorn?

I wish, like Achilles, Gil-Galad and all other elves had a weakness for Colby-Jack cheese.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally Posted by Valesse

I wish, like Achilles, Gil-Galad and all other elves had a weakness for Colby-Jack cheese.

Your wish is grantet, but the weeknes for Colby-Jack cheese was a fatal weeknes and no elf could come with in a radius of 50 meters of Colby-Jack cheese with out suffering a horribel death. Sauron found this out and in the Battle of Dagorlad the Last aliance faces a army clad in Colby-Jack cheese. Of course with the elves all dead the men of Arnor and Gondor suffers a total defeat.

I wish, that Fingolfin would have defeatet Morgoth.

[Eonwe]

I wish, that Fingolfin would have defeatet Morgoth.

can you make a negative consequence for that? ill try.

Your wish is granted. Unfortuantly, when Fingolfin returned, the news was out and he was an instance celebraty all across middel-earth. paperozzi stalked him day and night. fan-girls when quite crazy. eventually, he worked out a deal with thingol, and retreated to a secluded wood in South beleriand, where he spent his time fishing in the small lake, writing boring novels that never sold, and smoking cigars on this front porch while swishing away the flies. so ended Fingolfin, High Kind of teh Noldor, in a most unbecoming fasion.

i wish sauron didn''t turn evil.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

i wish sauron didn''t turn evil

Granted. However, Gandalf becomes evil instead and because he is so wise, he manages to take over the world very quickly and everything turns to durst.

I wish that when Hurin had taken Morgoth’s eyes with him when he left Angabnd so that Morgoth was blind.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish that when Hurin had taken Morgoth’s eyes with him when he left Angabnd so that Morgoth was blind.

Boy, Hookbill, there must be something about you that stirs up these faerie's allergies but fortunately for you it grants your wish!

Hurin -yoink!- takes Morgoth's eyes when he leaves Angaband and goes on his merry way. Sauron sees what has happened to him and decides that this is the "in" thing and puts out his eyes... in retrospect he also decides that that was a very bad idea. Later... (after Sauron is defeated at the Last Alliance of Men and Elves) instead of a Great eye, he becomes a Great jaw, and instead of feeling watched wheh Frodo puts on the ring, he feels like he is getting chewed on.

Frodo, being basically bite-sized, is overwhelmed by the very thought and abandons the quest forever.

I wish Gwindor was a huge klutz, I really do.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Actually I was trying to make a reference to when Morgoth says something like "With my eyes you shall see." *shrugs* Perhaps I didn't do it that well.

I wish Gwindor was a huge klutz, I really do.

Granted. So much so that he brings about the destruction of Arda. No one is sure how, but it involved zebras and wasps.

I wish Legolas was constantly drunk in Lothlorien.

[Eonwe]

Originally Posted by hookbill of teh goomba

I wish Legolas was constantly drunk in Lothlorien.

Your wish is granted. Legolas hit the bottle, and when he hit the bottle, he hit it hard. He spent his days sitting on the flets, staring morosely at a half empty bottle. As the wine fell, his spirits rose. By evening, he was feeling fit as a hobbit in summer. Then he would climb down from his flet, and go out wandering in the woods of Lorien. Invariabley, his wayward feet lead him (seemingly of their own accord) into the darker parts of town. Here there were pits that waited for good souls to entrap. Invariabley, his wayward feet led him (seemingly of their own accord) into the deepest pits.

It was always the same story. There would be good friends and good drinks. But these friends were really the treacherous kind that steal your money, and you drink. After a few drinks, there would be a fight. A few chairs would be broken. Then the bouncer would try to throw him out of the pit. But he fought them. Legolas liked it in the pit. Eventually he would move on to find some new entertainment, and would walk off down the street, breaking windows with a chair-leg.


I wish Gandalf would have mediated strategic ring limitation talks between Sauron and the Elves.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally Posted by Eonwe

I wish Gandalf would have mediated strategic ring limitation talks between Sauron and the Elves.

Your wish is granted. With Gandalf mediating the It is agreed that no part on either side of the "Iron River" aka Anduin must have more than one long range strategic ring, this however weakens the elves most as Sauron keeps the one ring and thereby controls the ring of the elves (or forces them not to use it).


I wish that mithril armour was the currency of the Shire

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

I wish that mithril armour was the currency of the Shire

Your wish is granted. But since the Shire is so rich in Mithrill armour, the Dwarves decide to invade and soon make mincemeat of the poor little Hobbits and then they build a huge fortress in Hobbiton and so when Bilbo tries to return from his adventure with the Dwarves he cannot. So the Ring never passes to Frodo and is not destroyed.

Well done, you!

I wish Saruman was high on pipe weed when he had the parley with Gandalf after Helm's deep.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Saruman was high on pipe weed when he had the parley with Gandalf after Helm's deep.

Well he was! Saruman was so high that he thought that there was no need for a parley at all! So Saruman announces that "Ev-wee one ish friends here, Zoizole!" (we figure thats Gandalf's new "nick name") and even leaves the Orthanc, passing around loaded pipes. Pippin readily takes one and ignores the palantir Saruman (thinking it was a kind of heavy beach-ball) tossed to him. Gandalf was less amused, but didn't do anything about the matter, anyway.

Sauron, without any pipe weed (not like he could smoke it anyway...) or sneaky hobbits to cloud his judgement, is better able to find Frodo. --Also, Faramir burns to death since Pippin didn't show up in Gondor.

I wish Orkish poetry was recognized throughout Middle Earth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Orkish poetry was recognized throughout Middle Earth.

Granted. It's recognized, but not widely liked.

I wish Hobbits would live in Gondor to maintain the gardens.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Hobbits would live in Gondor to maintain the gardens.

Granted, but Rohan becomes jealous. And in a midnight raid the Rohirrim kidnap 15 Hobbits so that they may maintain Rohan's gardens. A bitter war breaks out over the issue. In the end neither side wins because the Hobbits refuse to do any more gardening.

I wish the men of Rohan rode giant turtles rather than horses.

[Holbytlass]

I wish the men of Rohan rode giant turtles rather than horses.

Your wish is granted, so the War of the Ring turned out very differently since Eomer took too long getting to Helm's Deep and Theoden too long to get to the Pelennor Fields.

I wish Gandalf did turn Sam into something "unnatural".

[Eonwe]

I wish Gandalf did turn Sam into something "unnatural".

after sam torqued gandalf off particularly bad, gandalf did what the gaffer always said would come of associating with "wizards, and elves, and them types as too good to get their hands dirty in a nice piece of dirt." yes, he turned sam into something quite unnatural. sam became an exact replica of the one ring, which frodo happened to pick up in his somewhat hectic departure from Bad End. when frodo finally ended up at mount doom, there was no hesitation. he cast sam into the raging fires, and turned contentedly back toward home...though he soon found out his error when a passing nuzgal spotted him.

I wish that pipe weed really existed in our world.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish that pipe weed really existed in our world.

Your wish is already granted. Pipe weed is merely a more English name for tobacco.

I wish that everyone had laughed in Feanor's face when he suggested they leave for Middle-earth.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that everyone had laughed in Feanor's face when he suggested they leave for Middle-earth.

Your wish was granted. When he assembled the Noldor and submitted his plan, he had Lembas stuck in between his teeth - they couldn't help but laugh!


I wish the Nazgul wouldn't have ran away from Glorfindel. He was only trying to start a pick-up game of football!

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish the Nazgul wouldn't have ran away from Glorfindel. He was only trying to start a pick-up game of football!

Your wish is granted. But the Witch-King stabbed Glorfindel because he hated football.

I wish that Radagast had been wise to Saruman's evil schemes.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Radagast had been wise to Saruman's evil schemes.

Your wish has been granted. Radagast was wise to Saruman's plans, but when he sent his best courier to thwart it, he was stabbed.


I wish that all Istari had haircuts and talked like MR.T

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that all Istari had haircuts and talked like MR.T

Granted. but they all pity the fool who is a took. And Gandalf gets obsessed with keeping people away from his bins. Saruman drives a huge truck thing that digs up most of Fangorn and Radagast wears so much gold that he sinks.

I wish Lorien was more accepting of Dwarves.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Granted. but they all pity the fool who is a took. And Gandalf gets obsessed with keeping people away from his bins. Saruman drives a huge truck thing that digs up most of Fangorn and Radagast wears so much gold that he sinks.

I wish Lorien was more accepting of Dwarves.

HAHA HAHA HAHA

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Lorien was more accepting of Dwarves.

okie, dokie:

Lorien society fully accepted Dwarven culture, until the strip-mining started. After this time the Elves became split over the social ramifications of having mining done on their lands by strippers!



I wish Orome would have shown up @ the Black Gates!

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish Orome would have shown up @ the Black Gates!

Granted. Unfortunately, Orome took a fearsome form and went by the alias "The Mouth of Sauron." He was shortly beheaded by Aragorn.



I wish more trolls could speak english.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

I wish more trolls could speak english.

Oh but they can!

Now trolls are wandering around giving new meaning to the term "noise-pollution" chattering and singing their hearts out in open-air karaoke parties. They are so in love with their new voices and choices the trolls start booking jobs as entertainment and inviting friends to come watch... thus making dinner-out plans at fancy elvish salad bars (eatting the bars, and leaving the salad) while joining in to the musical massacre.

To make matters worse the elves have had enough, but considering their weight and diet are easily mashed into low-fat chili. But hey... its better than a burrahobbit.

I wish, just to make him even more irritating, Legolas spoke in only riddles.
(of course they'd be obvious ones )

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Valesse

I wish, just to make him even more irritating, Legolas spoke in only riddles.
(of course they'd be obvious ones )

Granted! Legolas now only speaks in riddles. That his why his father sent him to the Council of Elrond in the first place. Then of course the Fellowship is so annoyed with him they tie him to a tree and leave him there. Unfortunately for Middle-Earth while tied to the tree Legolas teaches the trees to talk and forever more the wood is known as the Riddle Wood and it is the most annoying in Middle-Earth.

I wish Elrond's sons had been in the Fellowship.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Elrond's sons had been in the Fellowship.

Granted. But they replace Merry and Pippin who are sent home to The Shire and are instantly sent to the lock holes by Lotho. The Ents are not roused and so Isenguard is not destroyed. But what is more irritating is the fact that Ellodan and Elrohir fight constantly with Legolas until they both wake the Balrog and all his relatives and Gandalf is the only survivor.
Gandalf leaves Moria with barely his skin and wanders into Lorien where they say he can't come in uncloaked. So Gandalf goes to Isenguard and joins Saruman and together they uncloak across the world.

Wow.

I wish Elendil had not died... ever!

[Morsul the Dark]

I wish Elendil had not died... ever!

Granted however because his father died Isuldur didnt hotbloodily cut sauron's finger off and in fact he died ands unlkike isuldur elendil became depressed and tried to kill himself but finding he was unable to die cast himself to the bottom of the ocean where he remains to this day trying to drown himself. Also Sauron won the war.

I wish Balrogs were good and helped he ents destroy Isengard

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Morsul the Dark

I wish Balrogs were good and helped he ents destroy Isengard

Your wish is my command! (but only this once )

Balrogs find it in their fiery li-huge hearts to help the Entish case! Seeing what was once forest land turned into barren plain was not on any of the Balrog's personal wish list, so off they went to war.

All was not well, however, because, as you probably know (and exercise *winkwink* or at least I do) wood is perticularly flamible. The Ents, of course, were wise enough to keep their distance but the Huorn were at the mercy of the wings of shadow and flame. (Shadow already being a problem, I doubt they'd be too bothered by it, but flame! Yikes!)

During battle (assuming they made it there), or, more perticularly the freeing of the river Isen... heh. The Balrogs were none-too-happy about this, as when Gothmog gave the order to fly-- in thus avoiding the water-- they collectively found that their Balroggish...? wings were vestigile.

Whoops! Not only did you extinguish Balrogs, but you toasted Fangorn to boot! Trust you to prevent forest fires, Morsul.

I wish Trolls actually did wear/knit shaw(l)s, instead of just living in one.
(...Southwestern Homonyms... shawl and Shaw...haha?)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Valesse

I wish Trolls actually did wear/knit shaw(l)s, instead of just living in one.

Your wish is granted. It seems that they knit shawls and wear them. However, they are not very good at it. They are so bad that the trolls cannot see when they wear them, but they are stubborn and wear them anyway. They bumble through the land squashing sheep and Hobbits. Eventually there is a mass Troll culling organised by Sauron, as he is so embarrassed by them that he no longer wants them. This culling, however, is thought to be an invasion and so the Rangers fight them back and are, in the process, killed by the bumbling trolls. This goes on until all other races are killed but Trolls who bumble into each other until they are dead and Middle Earth is deserted.

I wish Aslan from Narnia went to Middle Earth to have a word with Gandalf.

[Morsul the Dark]

Wish Granted Aslan begins to speak with gandalf and they become friends and Gandalf visits narnia with him unfortunately because he is away he doesnt warn frodo about the ring and the ringwraiths find him and take the ring to sauron. Gandalf finding this out stays in narnia which ironicly is where the two blue wizards had run off to

I wish Frodo Died in Mount Doom along with Gollum and Samwise got the credit for Saving Middle-Earth thus quenching annoying shoutings of Frodo Lives with a much more convincing argument Frodo Sucks**

**sorry guys i hate frodo

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Morsul the Dark

I wish Frodo Died in Mount Doom along with Gollum and Samwise got the credit for Saving Middle-Earth thus quenching annoying shoutings of Frodo Lives with a much more convincing argument Frodo Sucks

Granted. But Samwise loved his master so much that he refused to take any credit and lost some weight and took on the persona of Frodo and stole his identity. The souring of the Shire is not quite so dramatic as everyone laughs at Sam's pathetic wig.

I wish Grima Wormtong had not been killed.

[Morsul the Dark]

Granted but now as a changed man he stops stalking Eowyn he begins preaching the word as recored by Frodo and begins stalking him instead then terrified of the thought him leaving he sinks all the ships at the grey havens even the one that everyone was on killing them all no more galadriel elrong frodo bilbo or gandalf

I wishDenetor died at an early ae and Faramir was raised by gandalf alone and he still defended ithilien because gandalf wanted him too but because gandalf was supportive he didnt mess up out of fear of offending his father...or step father as it were