Ask a stupid question - Page 8 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

doom_hammer · 10-12-2006, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brinniel

Q: Where can fairy dust be found in Middle-earth?

A: why, mordor of course.

Q: where can dragons be found in middle-earth?

elronds_daughter · 10-12-2006, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doom_hammer

Q: where can dragons be found in middle-earth?

A: Well, listen. The hobbits don't know it, but the Shire is really a dragon's back.

Q: How extensive is hobbits' knowledge of smoking?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-12-2006, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

Q: How extensive is hobbits' knowledge of smoking?

A - Their knowledge is - like - totally far out, man!

Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?

Macalaure · 10-12-2006, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?

A: After Gríma forgot his collection of crayons in his robes when he did the laundry.

Q: Why did Elfhelm trip over Merry?

@elronds_daughter:

elronds_daughter · 10-12-2006, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?

A: When he decided that he supported gay rights.

Q: (staying on topic) Why did Saruman feel he needed to create the Uruk-Hai?

Naria · 10-13-2006, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Q: Why did Elfhelm trip over Merry?

A: Because he didn't see the lil' guy

Quote:

Why did Saruman feel he needed to create the Uruk-Hai?

A: Because he wanted to have other 'people' around to make himself look more attractive, afterall he wasn't a real looker if ya know what I mean.

Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets?

The Elf-warrior · 10-14-2006, 09:20 PM

Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets?

A: Yes they have in the nation of Sharkey Shire and possibly others.

Q: Who was Frodo?

elronds_daughter · 10-15-2006, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

Q: Who was Frodo?

A: Frodo was a figment of Sam's imagination.

Q: Did Ents eat anything besides Ent-draught?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-15-2006, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

Q: Did Ents eat anything besides Ent-draught?

A - Yes... Entwives.

Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language?

Rikae · 10-15-2006, 12:51 PM

Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language?

Because Tolkien knew Elijah Wood wouldn't be able to speak it.

Q - Is Sauron really evil?

Brinniel · 10-15-2006, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikae

Q - Is Sauron really evil?

A: No, he is simply misunderstood.

Q: Do hobbits celebrate Christmas?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-16-2006, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brinniel

Q: Do hobbits celebrate Christmas?

A - No, they can't afford it, what with all the giving of presents on every other day.

Q - When did Gandalf start smoking?

Kath · 10-16-2006, 03:52 AM

Q: When did Gandalf start smoking?

A: Around the time he started dieting.

Q: How long is Gandalf's nose?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-16-2006, 05:27 AM

Q: How long is Gandalf's nose?

A - About as long as Frodo's foot.

Q - What did the Mouth of Sauron do when he wasn't harassing Gondorians?

The Elf-warrior · 10-21-2006, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Q - What did the Mouth of Sauron do when he wasn't harassing Gondorians?

A: He mouthed off.

Q: Is Pippin stupid?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-22-2006, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Q: Is Pippin stupid?

A - No. In his own words: "I'm not stupid! I'm just big boned!"

Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King?

Rikae · 10-22-2006, 11:06 AM

Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King?
The Witch King. Sauron was actually two hobbits, one standing on the other's shoulders.

Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?

The Elf-warrior · 10-26-2006, 03:34 PM

Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?

A: Because she thought raw eggs were disgusting.

Q: Why did the Witch-King have eyes at Pelennor Fields even though the rest of him was invisible?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-26-2006, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

Q: Why did the Witch-King have eyes at Pelennor Fields even though the rest of him was invisible?

He'd just had Laser eye surgery.

Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum?

Rikae · 11-02-2006, 10:15 PM

Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum?

A - Take advantage of a great photo op for the "Wizards of the Fourth Age" yearbook.

Q -Why did Sauron do his jewelry-making in a volcano?

High King Fingolfin · 11-02-2006, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rikae
Q -Why did Sauron do his jewelry-making in a volcano?

A: Because the jewelry-making class at his high school was full.

Q: Why couldn't Saruman make a real ring?

The Elf-warrior · 11-03-2006, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Q: Why couldn't Saruman make a real ring?

A: Because he was always interrupted by phone calls.

Q: Did Sauron think Pippin had the Ring?

Meneltarmacil · 11-03-2006, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Q: Did Sauron think Pippin had the Ring?

A: No. Telling Pippin that "I wil send for it at once" and ordering him to "tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him" was really Sauron's rather odd way of ordering a pizza.

Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive?

The Elf-warrior · 11-03-2006, 10:57 PM

Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive?

A: Because Faramir was always turning up the thermostat.

Q: How many elves died at Helm's Deep?

Brinniel · 11-03-2006, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

Q: How many elves died at Helm's Deep?

A: All of them that showed up with Haldir to fight. You see, little do people know, but PJ's interpretation of Helms Deep was quite accurate. Tolkien simply didn't mention in The Two Towers that there were elves at Helms Deep because it's slightly embarrassing that not a single one of them survived the battle...

Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR?

The Elf-warrior · 11-04-2006, 09:39 PM

Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR?

A: Because they stayed home and baked manflesh.

Q: What was Gimli's secret name?

Farael · 11-04-2006, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

Q: What was Gimli's secret name?

A: Cinderella

Q: How do you bake manflesh?

High King Fingolfin · 11-04-2006, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Farael
Q: How do you bake manflesh?

A: With the correct kind of baking pan and special Orcish seasonings too horrible to mention.

Q: Could Fingolfin have killed Morgoth?

The Elf-warrior · 11-04-2006, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Q: Could Fingolfin have killed Morgoth?

A: He could, if he had some anachronistic technology, such as a machine gun or a phaser.

Q: Who was Ondoher?

Rikae · 11-05-2006, 02:19 PM

Q: Who was Ondoher?

A: Doher's pet parrot.

Q: Who is the Witch King's mother?

Farael · 11-06-2006, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikae

Q: Who is the Witch King's mother?

Lobellia S-B. No wonder the attitude problems!

Q: Why did Saruman mess with The Shire? why didn't he try to loot something better, like Rivendell?

Damrod · 11-06-2006, 03:59 PM

A:Saruman, like many modern corporations, wanted to be in a far-off country, where he could get away with employing small people to do menial work for five cents an hour.

Q:Why does Gollum hate elves?

Rikae · 11-06-2006, 04:39 PM

Q:Why does Gollum hate elves?
Because they overreact to having their wigs pulled off.

Q: Why don't Shire hobbits like boats?

11-06-2006, 08:38 PM

Q: Why Don't Shire Hobbits Like Boats?

A: Because they can't cook anything on them.

Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?

The Elf-warrior · 11-23-2006, 10:16 PM

Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?

A: Young Toby.

Q: Why did Gandalf want to go through the Mines of Moria?

Meneltarmacil · 11-23-2006, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Q: What did Saruman's ring actually do?

A: It played an extremely annoying melody over and over again that could only be heard by whomever Saruman was aiming his ring at. This kept up until the target either giave in to Saruman's demands or his/her head exploded from sheer annoyance.

Q: Where can I find a duck-billed platypus in Middle-Earth?

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-24-2006, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meneltarmacil

Q: Where can I find a duck-billed platypus in Middle-Earth?

They were once rather popular around Middle Earth in the First Age. They liked to hang around Doriath and Lake Helevorn but could be found wherever there was a good supply of water. Yet in later years, Sauron loved them and became jealous of the rest of the world and so brought them all to Mordor. They were an endangered species until the fall of Sauron.

Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years?

Rikae · 11-24-2006, 10:13 AM

Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years?
They hid it inside the walls of Bag End (which wasn't built yet, and therefore, impossible to find!)

Q- What was Gothmog, anyway?

Meneltarmacil · 11-24-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Q- What was Gothmog, anyway?

A: A cute pink bunny that the Witch King had as a pet.

Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place?

The Elf-warrior · 11-24-2006, 08:09 PM

Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place?

A: He had bad musical tastes.

Q: Who was Farmer Giles of Ham?

10-14-2006, 09:20 PM	#287
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets? A: Yes they have in the nation of Sharkey Shire and possibly others. Q: Who was Frodo? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

10-16-2006, 03:52 AM	#293
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Q: When did Gandalf start smoking? A: Around the time he started dieting. Q: How long is Gandalf's nose? __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

10-16-2006, 05:27 AM	#294
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Q: How long is Gandalf's nose? A - About as long as Frodo's foot. Q - What did the Mouth of Sauron do when he wasn't harassing Gondorians? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

10-26-2006, 03:34 PM	#298
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses? A: Because she thought raw eggs were disgusting. Q: Why did the Witch-King have eyes at Pelennor Fields even though the rest of him was invisible? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

11-03-2006, 10:57 PM	#304
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive? A: Because Faramir was always turning up the thermostat. Q: How many elves died at Helm's Deep? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

10-15-2006, 12:51 PM	#290
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language? Because Tolkien knew Elijah Wood wouldn't be able to speak it. Q - Is Sauron really evil?

10-22-2006, 11:06 AM	#297
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King? The Witch King. Sauron was actually two hobbits, one standing on the other's shoulders. Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?

11-02-2006, 10:15 PM	#300
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum? A - Take advantage of a great photo op for the "Wizards of the Fourth Age" yearbook. Q -Why did Sauron do his jewelry-making in a volcano?

11-04-2006, 09:39 PM	#306
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR? A: Because they stayed home and baked manflesh. Q: What was Gimli's secret name? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

11-05-2006, 02:19 PM	#310
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Q: Who was Ondoher? A: Doher's pet parrot. Q: Who is the Witch King's mother?

11-06-2006, 03:59 PM	#312
Damrod Animated Skeleton Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 30	A:Saruman, like many modern corporations, wanted to be in a far-off country, where he could get away with employing small people to do menial work for five cents an hour. Q:Why does Gollum hate elves? Last edited by Damrod; 11-06-2006 at 04:05 PM.

11-06-2006, 04:39 PM	#313
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Q:Why does Gollum hate elves? Because they overreact to having their wigs pulled off. Q: Why don't Shire hobbits like boats?

11-06-2006, 08:38 PM	#314
Erunámo Séreturion Guest Posts: n/a	Q: Why Don't Shire Hobbits Like Boats? A: Because they can't cook anything on them. Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?

11-23-2006, 10:16 PM	#315
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink? A: Young Toby. Q: Why did Gandalf want to go through the Mines of Moria? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

11-24-2006, 10:13 AM	#318
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years? They hid it inside the walls of Bag End (which wasn't built yet, and therefore, impossible to find!) Q- What was Gothmog, anyway?

11-24-2006, 08:09 PM	#320
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place? A: He had bad musical tastes. Q: Who was Farmer Giles of Ham? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.