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05-23-2004, 09:00 PM | #2841 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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Ah yes, the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch;" one of my personal favorites. Hmmm, this will probably be a shorter and slightly incorrect version, but I can't resist.
Aragorn: "Bring out the 'User's Guide to the Holy Hand Grenade of Aman.'" Gandalf (as he brings forth the grenade and instruction booklet) : "Pies Iesu Domine, dorme eis requiem." Aragorn: "Proceed to read the instructions." Gandalf: "Hold forth thy Holy Hand Grenade of Aman, and pull the Holy pin. Proceed to count to three. Thou shalt not count no more and no less than three, but three only. Two thou shalt not count, unless thou proceedeth directly onto three. Five is right out. The number three being counted, and the number counted being three, throw thy Holy Hand Grenade of Aman and thy foe shall snuff it." Aragorn: "Right." *pulls pin* "One...two...five!" Hama: "Three, sir!" Aragorn: "I mean three!" *throws grenade at a squadron of orcs; who promptly blow up* Narrator: "And so the way was cleared for the king to proceed to the aid of Rohan. And there was much rejoicing." All: "Hooray." Huh, I guess it wasn't that short.
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
05-24-2004, 03:41 PM | #2842 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: A place where after thunder golden showers come falling like a rain of flowers.
Posts: 371
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Sam: Is that rope? Aww...but I wanted a dagger...what can you use stupid rope for?
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I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential. |
05-24-2004, 09:01 PM | #2843 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Sam: "Pippin, keep that sword away from me..."
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05-25-2004, 04:18 AM | #2844 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 282
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While the others were incredulous at their gifts, Sam was staring in wonder at his...
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05-25-2004, 06:32 AM | #2845 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Pippin knew that he had despoiled the water in Galadriel's mirror, but he wondered if she knew. Look in his eyes.... he is saying "Please blame Sam!"
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
05-25-2004, 01:11 PM | #2846 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Ad finem itineris
Posts: 384
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Galadriel: Now Sam, you get a choice: this rope, or a box of dirt.
Sam:
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Enyale cuilenya, ú-enyale mandenya. |
05-25-2004, 03:25 PM | #2847 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wind's Road
Posts: 467
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Merry/Pippin/Galadriel: Woah! Sam's feet are purple!
Sam: I knew they'd notice eventually.
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"My name is Mallard, but you can call me Duck." ~Random Saying, compliments of Sirith and her best friend, concerning a book. |
05-27-2004, 05:44 AM | #2848 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Shadow Gallery
Posts: 276
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Sam: I hope the Lady Galadriel doesn't notice I'm staring at her lovely dress. I want to touch it, George. It looks like rabbit's fur, George.
Pippin: Lennie... I mean, Sam... leggo of the Lady Galadriel!
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The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." |
05-28-2004, 02:36 AM | #2849 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Sam: Lady Galadriel, you walk around barefooted?
Pippin: Don't look now, but a snake is approaching her... |
05-28-2004, 10:32 AM | #2850 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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Sam: "Wow, I wonder where she gets her nails done; that's the best pedicure I've ever seen. And coming from a hobbit that's saying a lot!"
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
05-28-2004, 11:40 AM | #2851 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally.
Posts: 500
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Gal- No Sam, you're not old enough for a knife.
Sam- B-but Merry and Pippin have knives! Gal- If Merry and Pippin jumped off a bridge, would you? Sam- Maybe...
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"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman. |
05-28-2004, 01:15 PM | #2852 |
Wight
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Up a tree.
Posts: 213
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Galadriel: Now Sam, because you have been a naughty boy you get this box of dirt.
Sam: But I only stood on your toes once! Galadriel: But it hurt!
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"You will find the Holy Grail in Castle Aaaaaaahhhhhh *leans sideways*" Monty Python and the Holy Grail. |
05-28-2004, 03:56 PM | #2853 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: A place where after thunder golden showers come falling like a rain of flowers.
Posts: 371
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I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential. |
05-28-2004, 05:54 PM | #2854 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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*Uruks are playing hopscotch* "Oooh, you're cheating, I'll tell Saruman on you!"
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
05-28-2004, 06:03 PM | #2855 |
Illusionary Holbytla
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,547
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front Uruk: It's so dry out here, maybe we should do a rain dance.
*Uruks do rain dance* right Uruk: Is it working? Is it working? *rain dance not working* *back Uruk waves scythe at the heavens*:Come on, rain already! |
05-28-2004, 06:51 PM | #2856 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Ad finem itineris
Posts: 384
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You shall die in the name of- Hey look, I found a silver penny!
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Enyale cuilenya, ú-enyale mandenya. |
05-29-2004, 04:55 AM | #2857 |
Wight
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Up a tree.
Posts: 213
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The Uruks perfect their version of 'Wild Dance' in the hope of repeating it's success and winning next year's Eurovision.
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"You will find the Holy Grail in Castle Aaaaaaahhhhhh *leans sideways*" Monty Python and the Holy Grail. |
05-31-2004, 09:04 AM | #2858 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Its Uruk-Mania! Yes you too can be part of the action, line up to get beheaded by our lovely assistants Uglutz and Glaruk, or if you really want to have some fun you can choose to be run down by a band of rampaging Uruk-Hai!
$17.00 for admission
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
05-31-2004, 10:26 AM | #2859 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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front uruk: Not maggoty bread again!!!
Right uruk: Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh i want real food! left uruk: I think i saw a dog running over here!
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Morsul the Resurrected |
06-01-2004, 06:52 AM | #2860 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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The sack of the little village stopped abruptly when Henry the Uruk heard the jingle of the approaching ice-cream van.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
06-01-2004, 03:13 PM | #2861 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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... the Uruk-hai are perfecting Riverdance.....
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06-03-2004, 09:44 AM | #2862 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally.
Posts: 500
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THe mighty Uruk-hai, the fearless terrors of Middle Earth...
Uruks: AAAHHHH! A BEEEEE!!!!
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"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman. |
06-03-2004, 06:19 PM | #2863 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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*"Aaaah! A bee!!"* Roflmao!
All I can think of is having "We are the Champions" playing in the background; maybe have the Uruk with the "Olympic torch" show up: "Hey, you were supposed to wait for me!" Yeah, pretty lame, hah?
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
06-04-2004, 02:02 PM | #2864 |
Wight
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This makes me think of a Gatorade or Sprite commercial.I'm expecting to see the uruks sweat little red or blue beads of sweat and hear them sing "Anything you can do, I can do better" song. I'm strange, I know.
Vuelve
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Now, what do you own the world? How do you own disorder? Disorder! - Toxicity-System of A Down |
06-05-2004, 09:06 PM | #2865 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Gandalf: The board is set, soon the pieces will be in motion Merry: checkmate! Pippin: *grumbling* I hate chess!
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
06-05-2004, 09:11 PM | #2866 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Aragorn: Did you see that?
Legalas: Yeah I didn't know Gandalf could break dance Gandalf: That's right Theoden, you just got served!
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Morsul the Resurrected |
06-06-2004, 12:06 PM | #2867 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wind's Road
Posts: 467
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Gandalf: I need a hug...
Aragorn and Legolas: Just back away slowly...
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"My name is Mallard, but you can call me Duck." ~Random Saying, compliments of Sirith and her best friend, concerning a book. |
06-06-2004, 01:16 PM | #2868 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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Gandalf and Co. are frozen in shock as Theoden has chosen this moment to enter the hall with Elrond, both wearing purple dresses purloined from Arwen's wardrobe and wearing heavy make-up; topped off by feathered hats and large brightly colored handbags.
Wow, sometimes I really do scare myself. Oh and Vuelve, I thought your post was quite good.
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
06-08-2004, 06:23 AM | #2869 |
Brightness of a Blade
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Sorry guys, but I saw this pic and couldn't resist!
Gandalf: Grieve not, dear friends, for I am back! Aragorn(forced smile) :Hey, that's nice. (mutters): Should have made sure you were dead!
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And no one was ill, and everyone was pleased, except those who had to mow the grass. Last edited by Evisse the Blue; 06-08-2004 at 09:09 AM. |
06-08-2004, 07:41 AM | #2870 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Brisvegas
Posts: 71
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Aragorn: Hi, Im Aragorn from BBC's what not to wear, and Gandalf stormcrow, we have been secretly filming you for the past two weeks!!
Gandalf: Oh ho! very funny. Aragorn: Heres a check for 2000 pounds to spend on clothes, all you have to do is turn your wardrobe over to me..
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Vous ne pouvez pas habiter sans Dior |
06-09-2004, 12:45 PM | #2871 |
Wight
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Up a tree.
Posts: 213
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For the first Gandalf pic...
Gandalf: *Sings* I believe I can fly... For the second... Aragorn: Exactly how much did you say you'd drunk?
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"You will find the Holy Grail in Castle Aaaaaaahhhhhh *leans sideways*" Monty Python and the Holy Grail. |
06-10-2004, 09:13 PM | #2872 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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Gandalf: "Shay, have you tried the beer at the 'Leaky Car--Caurd--C-thingy?'"
Aragorn: "No, can't say as I have." Gandalf: "Oh...it'sh quite good." Aragorn: "I'll bet." (thinking: "Good Lord, he must have drunk the pub dry!") Gandalf: "No, really, you should try it shometime." Aragorn: "Right, if I'm ever in the neighborhood I'll stop by. Now, why don't you go take a cold shower and I'll make a pot or two of coffee?"
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
06-11-2004, 01:17 AM | #2873 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Gift-giving picture:
Sam(mutters): Hmph! She has pink toenails. I wish I had pink toenails... Uruk-Hai picture: Saruman's spring cleaning. First Gandalf picture: Gandalf: Can I drop my arms now? It's really heavy. Aragorn: Not until you tell me where Andúril is. Second Gandalf picture: Aragorn: That's better, isn't it? *pinches Gandalf in the leg*
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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06-11-2004, 04:07 AM | #2874 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 282
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Second Gandalf Picture:
The one about the hobbit and the mumak never failed to get Gandalf to laugh. First Gandalf picture: You know...Jacskon's taking his sweet time making this scene... |
06-15-2004, 10:43 AM | #2875 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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First Gandalf Pic-
Gandy: I am a seagull! Second- Gandy: *trips over robe* Aragorn: *laughs*
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Don't let me die! |
06-15-2004, 08:49 PM | #2876 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Gandalf: Ho Ho Ho
Aragorn: Why does he always have to play into the Santa thing whenever little kids are around?
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
06-16-2004, 09:09 PM | #2877 |
Wight
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Gandalf: " You stabbed me! Why!
Aragorn: "Because you started filling everyone's heads with this 'Heir to the Throne of Gondor' nonsense, and now I have to be crowned King AND their making me wash my hair for the ceremony!" Vuelve
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Now, what do you own the world? How do you own disorder? Disorder! - Toxicity-System of A Down |
06-17-2004, 04:53 AM | #2878 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: A shotgun shack
Posts: 86
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Gandalf: That Pippin is such a fool!
Aragorn: Oh come on, you don't really mean that! Gandalf: No really, all the stupid things he's done since he...snort..since he joined us... Aragorn: Oh come on, he's just a little naive, that's all. Gandalf: Naive! He's such a FOOL! Remember when he said...gasp...when he said back in Rivendale? A and G: "So where are we going?" (Both burst out laughing) Aragorn: That's nothing. You should heard him when I said we didn't have time for...snort...for another breakfast! Gandalf: Aw, stop, I'll wet myself!
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"No food, no rest, nothing for Smeagol," said Gollum. "He's a sneak." |
06-17-2004, 02:43 PM | #2879 |
Registered User
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First Gandalf pic
(Titanic scene) Gandy: I`m flying, Aragorn! I`m flying! Second Gandalf pic Gandalf: (moaning) Aragorn! I`m warning you don`t eat the soup! |
06-21-2004, 02:38 PM | #2880 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Gandalf: Wow is that Arwen's window?!
Aragorn: Yep G: no wonder your always happy A: Yep!
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Morsul the Resurrected |
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