Survivor : All Star

[Kuruharan]

He blew his horn and devised the master stratagem of surrounding his foes with superior numbers.

Actually, that sounds like a pretty good strategem to me...well, except for the bit about blowing the horn. Truly important people (such as myself) have minions to blow horns for them.

I now propose that we do something entirely sensible and rational. Hama died a glooorious death being chopped into itty bitty pieces at the Hornburg. We should honor his memory by giving him a right good send off here! (I'm willing to negotiate on chopping him up into itty bitty pieces, but if there is any of that to be had I want in on it!)

++ Hama

[Gil-Galad]

++Perry-the-Winkle


Worst. Winkle. Ever.

[mormegil]

Kuru but the arguement inevitably be he was a master stratagist, and the simple fact is he is not! Like I said anybody could think of such a simple tactic, why even school yard bullies who generally have a rather low IQ (approaching that of primate levels) knows that basic concept.

[The Elf-warrior]

++Sauron

He is not called Base Master of Treachery for nothing.

[Glirdan]

Yes!! Vote Out Arwen!!

++arwen!!!!!

[Kuruharan]

Like I said anybody could think of such a simple tactic

Ahh...but in war the simplest practicable plan is usually the best.

It is sort of like engineering, you want to construct a plan that has as few points of potential failure as possible.

[Mirkgirl]

Originally Posted by mormegil

What did Merry do in the Scouring of the Shire? He blew his horn and devised the master stratagem of surrounding his foes with superior numbers. Had his foes had any level of intelligence he wouldn't have done anything and would have been massacered. The Hobbits for crying out loud, guerilla tactics would be much more suited for them then open combat yet Merry was too dim witted to even see this.

He would never be my captain.

The problem is he DIDNT have enemies of any intelligence and his strategy was a strategy against people of no intelligence. Why waste time with guerilla (which takes time and half the hobbits will loose heart just after the first meal). Strategy is only worth if its adequate to the situation.

Whom to vote out... hmmm... lets see exam in half an hour Ill be back after and vote according to my mood

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by mormegil

What did Merry do that made him a hero?
...
Bullroarer, however, stopped and Orc invasion whereas didn't even kill a single orc in all of Pellenor fields let alone stop the entire invasion.

How many orcs did Bullroarer kill himself? Not the entire orc army, I bet. So it wasn't only him who won the battle and stopped the invasion. It was the hobbit army, not him, though he was the leader and had a part in the victory. So you can't except Merry either to stop an invasion alone. He was not a leader in the Pelennor fields you speak of. If a single person gets glory from a it's almost always the leader. That was Bullroarer's case. So you condemn Merry because he was not in a leading position? Or the fact that Bullroarer is a leader makes him "better" in your opinion? Morm, you're a scary aristocrat... Besides, helping to kill the Witch-King is far more important than finishing a few orcs, even of one of them was a big boss.

++Bullroarer

It would be a pity to waste valiant support. Thanks, Volo.

[mormegil]

He was not a leader in the Pelennor fields you speak of.

No he wasn't and he didn't do anything, like I said he has rewritten the history books and this 'noble' poking in the knee of the W-k wasn't what it seemed either the sad truth is he was trying to escape and got confused when he tripped and poked the W-k in the knee.

As for leadership ability, Merry couldn't lead a pack of dung beatles to a pile of oliphant dung!

[Bêthberry]

I don't doubt that that knife to the Witch-King thing was historical revisionism of the worst sort.

It smells, I tell you, it smells. It is so typically patronising towards women, the kind of little knife which worries away real, true heroine-ism. Ya give a woman a major role to play, a major act set up by prophecy and then ya weakens it by having a minion do the final cut. Really! Talk about misogyny and puffing up one's own self-importance! You pretend to say a woman can do the job and then in the final moments you undercut it all--no wonder the story later shows Eowyn succumbing so quickly to domesticity and traditional authority. I'm surprised that the story doesn't have Merry whistling for the eagles and riding them off to Mount Doom to save Sam and Frodo himself.

No, don't give me this hobbits are so loveable and great. They're parochial Little Englanders who want to keep their females home, hyped full of herblore and housework with lots of little kettles singing on the fire.

++ Merry

[Lalaith]

Bethberry, you have been listening to Wormtongues of the worst kind. Anyone who reads the text with a clear and open mind can see that no revisionism has taken place there.

Merry crawled
on all fours like a dazed beast, and such a horror was on him that he was blind
and sick.

Still she did not blench: maiden of the Rohirrim, child of kings, slender but
as a steel-blade, fair but terrible. A swift stroke she dealt, skilled and deadly.

If Merry did rewrite the history books, it certainly wasn't to puff up his own self-importance.
Have you wondered by the way, why Eowyn is not in the All Star Final?
You'd better ask Mormegil

[mormegil]

Lalaith,

I never said anything about Eowyn and her feats of bravery in that. I merely had to stop rival Kath. No the point being made is that Merry radically alters history to suit him.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Bethberry, you have been listening to Wormtongues of the worst kind. Anyone who reads the text with a clear and open mind can see that no revisionism has taken place there.



If Merry did rewrite the history books, it certainly wasn't to puff up his own self-importance.
Have you wondered by the way, why Eowyn is not in the All Star Final?
You'd better ask Mormegil

Dear Lalaith: The perfect subterfuge with which to steer disclaimers!

To say nothing of the Merry who becomes a pompous, self-congratulatory Man of Importance in The Shire! Beside him, Boswell is a giant!

[Macalaure]

I have to say that I truly enjoy the current tussle about Merry.

So much, that I think it should continue for one more day - at least.

++Bullroarer

[Mirkgirl]

The exam went just as bad as usual.

Bah whats that with hobbits. Id rather take the elf

++ Arwen

The new Luthien?
If it was so she'd go smack Sauron toss the ring in the fire (with or without the hobbit attached) and make only a small detour to pick up Aragorn from the Paths of the Death where he got lost.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Arwen

In the movies she's obnoxious and in the books she's practically nonexistant. Hers and Aragorn's story in the appendices is touching, sure, but what else does she really contribute?

And let's face it. Offspring of Aragorn and Eowyn would be far
more feisty, with the grit to deal with Middle-earth's problems.

+ + Arwen

[Lalaith]

In memory of various clogged-up vacuum cleaners* I will vote for Hama today.

++HAMA

*An explanation

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Bullroarer

I do like golf, but it is over hyped. . . It is too much when they start selling golf-balls in discount stores!

[wilwarin538]

Votes so far:

Bullroarer - 4
Merry - 3
Arwen - 4
Hama - 2
Perry-the-Winkle - 1
Sauron - 1

You have about half an hour.

[Glirdan]

FINALLY!! The two people I want out of this competition will finally be eliminated!! Thank yoU!

[wilwarin538]

Day 10 ended with a tie:

Bullroarer - 4
Merry - 3
Arwen - 4
Hama - 2
Perry-the-Winkle - 1
Sauron - 1

The Bullroarer and Arwen would both be leaving the game today!

As the elf and the hobbit walked away from the tribe, Glorfindel could be seen in the distance. Since Arwen stole his horse in the movie he wanted revenge. So he grabbed a golf club and a golf ball and hit it with all his might. The ball went flying and hit the Bullroarer on the top of the head, then bounced off and hit Arwen in the face. They were both knocked out.

So Arwen and the Bullroarer were both punished that day. Arwen for stealing a horse, and the Bullroarer for inventing a terribly boring game.

Thus ends day 10!

The remaining contestants:

From the Lord of the Rings Survivor
Merry
Gimli
Hama
Gandalf

From the Silmarillion Survivor
Sauron
Elbereth
Osse
Ingwe

From the Hobbit Survivor
Smaug
Gloin
Durin
Bofur

From the Second Age Survivor
Tar-Miriel
Celebrian
Thorondor
Tar-Aldarion

From the Minor Works Survivor
Chrysophylax Dives
Goldberry
Perry-the-Winkle

***************************************

You may now start voting!

P.S. I mentioned a couple of Days ago that I would be out of town Saturday through Monday, this weekend, and will have no access to a computer. If anyone would be willing to cover for me this weekend I'd appreciate it. If you could cover for me for even one of those days it would be fine, even if it's a different person each day it will work. PM me if you can. If no one is able to, the game will just have to be put on hold until tuesday.

Thank you.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

You are welcome Glirdan.

[Glirdan]

Now, I swear to aid you all (only once mind you) to be rid of at least one character. But keep in mind that if it is one that I really would like to keep in, I'll have to go against you.

But for now, just because I want to see all but one gone,

++Perry-the-Winkle

[Firefoot]

++Perry-the-Winkle

What kind of name is that? I think someone said it was a hobbit - what self-respecting hobbit would allow himself to be known as such? Really. Is there a such thing as a winkle?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Perry-the-Winkle

As Gil said: "The worst Winkel ever"

[mormegil]

Okay nobody has any real reason to vote Perry-the-Winkle. I'm sure the professor would be rolling over in his grave at seeing these 'fans' vote off such a beloved character. It is a true shame and you should all feel very bad about this. Did I not predict to you that there is a conspiracy plot to get rid of all minor work characters. Here is more evidence what do you need?

[Gil-Galad]

wow.. .second bandwagon i've started so far...

++Perry-the-Winkle

[Diamond18]

+ + Sauron

Don't make me repeat myself....

[mormegil]

Please read as this is the sum of my arguements with some additions as to why Merry is the best candidate for today's lynchings.

Originally Posted by Mormegil

We should thin out one of the groups who still have 5. That is minor works, LOTR, and The Hobbit. I suggest we keep Bullroarer as he is fairly interesting, for a hobbit. Merry on the other hand is rather obnoxious, he can't take orders and without Pippin he's kind of like David Spade without Chris Farley--Useless.

Originally Posted by mormegil

Well neither one is here now are they...so he is rather useless. He's neither a good serious nor a good funny. He tries to balance the two but fails horribly.

Originally Posted by mormegil

Let me add to my Merry argument. He essentially is neither here nor there. He's, as I said, moderately funny but not enough to keep neither is he serious enough to be kept for his depth. He's not exactly dumb, and we can find some charm in dumb or slow witted characters, but he's not really intelligent either. He's not a blundering nincompoop on the battle field, well at least by the end, but he's no master strategist either and do NOT tell me the Scouring of the Shire plan was a stroke of genius, he simply blew his horn and had the hobbits out number the ruffians. He's neither repugnant morally nor is he scrupulous.

The sum of it is: Merry is just plain and average and nothing he does can change that. There's really only a sense of mediocre blah when it comes to Merry and that my friends is a rating killer plain and simple.

Originally Posted by mormegil

No, my opinion isn't influenced by the movies so no need to worry, even if it were it's fairly irrelevant. However you admit that Merry is fairly bland and mediocre...this character type is horrible for ratings. Plus he's Pippin's friend and supporter and that alone is crime enough for a hanging.

Originally Posted by mormegil

Really to keep some balance we should be voting for the hobbit or LOTR characters as most will see the poor minor works folks won't make it very far because apparently some of you don't appreciate those works.

Look at Merry's name. Double r's are ambigious linguistically as they are pronounce very differently depending upon the language or dialect even. Take Portuguese for example, in Portugal you would make a near rolling R sound similar, yet different, to that of traditional Spanish. However, in Brazil it would make something closer to an H sound but even then the double R is messy and confusing in all languages and should go

Originally Posted by mormegil

My friends, it has become horribly obvious that there is some deft subterfuge at work here. This blatant attempt to get every minor work character evicted is nothing short of genocide. Mark my words today the excuse is "I like Merry so Alf needs to go" and tomorrow it will be a similar story but it will be another minor work character.

It is our moral obligation to stop this genocide and save those characters who, through no fault of their own, haven't received their due recognition. Alf is a wonderful character who has much more personality than Merry. He has a rags to riches story unlike Merry who was born in the hobbit aristocracy and never did anything to benefit anybody but himself.

SAVE THE MINOR WORK CHARACTERS AND VOTE MERRY.

Originally Posted by mormegil

Merry on the other hand was born into wealth by hobbit standards and a family of power and influence yet he did little with it.

Alf was humble about all his experiences and fortunes, Merry however flaunted his riches to his final days and tried to usurp that of others. He is a thief and that's a fact! He stole from Saruman and then flaunted Saruman's own pipe weed when he was a beggar. He taunted a poor old beggar man that had been cruelly defeated and stripped of any dignity by trees.

Originally Posted by mormegil

What did Merry do that made him a hero? He didn't kill the W-k we all know it was Eowyn and but for the charity of a lady he would be relegated to telling Hobbit stories to the Rohan women, it is my personal belief that Merry breathed a sigh of relief when King Theoden wouldn't let him come on the journey but to his utter dismay Eowyn roped him in and essentially had to tie him down so as to make him come. Of course since Merry had access to the history books he rewrote history to make himself look better.

Bullroarer, however, stopped and Orc invasion whereas didn't even kill a single orc in all of Pellenor fields let alone stop the entire invasion.

Plus, and most importantly, Merry is named after an emotion! What kind of man is named after and emotion? Seriously though!

Originally Posted by mormegil

What did Merry do in the Scouring of the Shire? He blew his horn and devised the master stratagem of surrounding his foes with superior numbers. Had his foes had any level of intelligence he wouldn't have done anything and would have been massacered. The Hobbits for crying out loud, guerilla tactics would be much more suited for them then open combat yet Merry was too dim witted to even see this.

He would never be my captain.

Originally Posted by mormegil

Kuru but the arguement inevitably be he was a master stratagist, and the simple fact is he is not! Like I said anybody could think of such a simple tactic, why even school yard bullies who generally have a rather low IQ (approaching that of primate levels) knows that basic concept.

Originally Posted by mormegil

No he wasn't and he didn't do anything, like I said he has rewritten the history books and this 'noble' poking in the knee of the W-k wasn't what it seemed either the sad truth is he was trying to escape and got confused when he tripped and poked the W-k in the knee.

As for leadership ability, Merry couldn't lead a pack of dung beatles to a pile of oliphant dung!

Originally Posted by mormegil

Lalaith,

I never said anything about Eowyn and her feats of bravery in that. I merely had to stop rival Kath. No the point being made is that Merry radically alters history to suit him.

I have adequately demonstared that Merry is uninteresting and a cheat. Would be woefully inadequate in a real battle. Without Pippin he becomes even a worse character and the poor fellow is depressed because at least with Pippin there was somebody less intelligent than he. He rewrote history, that is a crime and should be punished with death the least we could do is evict him.

Let me write a cute little poem

Mediocre
Expendable
Repugnant
Recreant
Yucky (okay this is sad but it's a difficult letter)

It's far too obvious that there is a strong movement to evict all minor work characters and that is just disgraceful. This Nordic voting block is becoming far too powerful and they need to be put in their place and quick otherwise they will begin to think they control this whole thing.

Merry is trite and boring. Do I need to dig in the archives and find more letter from the Professor?

In letter 679.

Merry is one of those characters that I just didn't know how to deal with. I began to write him in but then as his character developed, if you can call it that, I began to realize that he never should have been written in but I was so far into the story that I couldn't write him out so I left him despite my ethical objection to leaving such an awful character. By the end his only real purpose to serve as filler material and add more pages to the text. I ended up giving him some story plots so it wasn't obvious that I hated him, so I made some definate hints for the observant reader to detect that Merry had indeed changed history to suit himself. Thus, those who have the depth to see these hints really know that Merry was a sham character in an otherwise great tale.

++MERRY

I vow not to change my vote until Merry is gone and the arguements will continue too

[Firefoot]

I don't know... author's intent or the reader's perception of Merry? Getting a little to close to the C-thread, methinks...

[Celuien]

Because it's Rune's birthday :

++Perry-the-Winkle

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Apparently Mormegil didn't have access to the original
manuscript of Letter 679, since it ends with

And as I explained to Jack and the Useless Quack I
have always hated hobbits. I only added yet another one,
and called him "Merry", because of the incessant whining of
my spoiled rotten son Christopher (what a brat!). And the kid actually
took seriously the bits about Merry I sent him when he was in South
Africa avoiding the war for years so I had to keep Merry in the
tale.

+ + Merry

[Macalaure]

++Perry-the-Winkle

Minor works character. No more reason needed.

[mormegil]

Originally Posted by Macalaure

++Perry-the-Winkle

Minor works character. No more reason needed.

Diamond I call upon your sense of decency and moral outrage to help stem this tide!

Also any others who have any appreciation for any of Tolkien's other works to join in this battle for their right to exist.

[Thinlómien]

First off, thanks to Volo, Mac and Rune for your vote. I was very bored with the Bullroarer.

I feel I have kind of a debt...

++PERRY-THE-WINKLE

And whatever the Professor himself said I like Merry...

[Bêthberry]

Only the dog days of summer would see such a tussle.

++ Merry-the-Winkle

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Well, Morm, I must thank you for drawing me back into this world. I had previously noted that the Chief Warg was not present in this contest (why?) and so left the arena in disgust.

But on closer inspection today, I find that Tar-Aldarion (!) is in it.



I can barely remember a more foul injustice! Morm, if I help you in your quest, will I have your support in outing the single most boring character in Tolkien's works?

[mormegil]

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Well, Morm, I must thank you for drawing me back into this world. I had previously noted that the Chief Warg was not present in this contest (why?) and so left the arena in disgust.

But on closer inspection today, I find that Tar-Aldarion (!) is in it.



I can barely remember a more foul injustice! Morm, if I help you in your quest, will I have your support in outing the single most boring character in Tolkien's works?

I will look in the old letters that I have and find any and all dirt in your quest!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

++MERRY

That's the utilitarian in me.

[Boromir88]

mormegil, wow, absolutely stunning. I'm impressed.

Let's look at what Merry accomplishes...

1. Claims to at least be 'part' of the Witch-Kings death.

1a. Merry did not kill the Witch-King, therefor he can not claim he did such act. Eowyn dealt the final and killing blow to the Witch-King.

1b. It wasn't Merry, it was the Barrow-blade. Let's see what damage Merry would have done to the Witch-King if it was some crappy hobbit sword. And not a sword that was specially wrought with spells to be the 'Bane of Mordor.'

2. Kills the leader of the Ruffians. - this is actually really no great accomplishment. Ruffians, are brigands, scum, dirt, they're nothing impressive. Pippin's slaying of a cave troll is far more impressive than Merry's 2 accomplishments combined. And I don't see Pippin on this Allstar Island.

++Merry

This is Survivor Allstar, and Merry doesn't cut it.