What do you assign to Mordor?

[Amanaduial the archer]

The ones that know the names of the guys she's about to say before she says them. The ones that make a pair of sunglasses flop around on a floor like a fish out of water.

Ok, the first I can do, easy - people find it vaguely disturbing when I know what they're gonna say but hey, maybe I just have predictable acquaintances. But the second...all I can say is that I am staying the heck away from wherever you've been seeing these psychics!

As for the tangent in paragraph two (my apologies for making that sound so...impersonal and formal; sometimes one must abandon informality in place of a few precise words that thereby prevent the use of several lines of waffle, often with the additional use of semi-colons and, naturally, obscene quantities of commas. Hmm.)....well, what can I say? Everything she said. Reading the new Harry Potter book, I've simply had to seperate film-Draco from book-Draco (the latter being pronounced dr-ah-co, rather than dray-co) - 'cos come on, film Draco? How's he gonna stamp someone's nose! The boy has dimples, dammit! I rest my case.

[the guy who be short]

Those infernal elastic bands in braces that are constantly snapping, often inconspicuously to be later ingested. I must get through about 6 a day, at least one of which is eaten. Oh, and chewing becomes a complex exercise which requires a lot of mental skill to prevent the snapping of said bands.

*Shakes fist in the general direction of minute elastic band manufacturers*

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Aman

Reading the new Harry Potter book, I've simply had to seperate film-Draco from book-Draco (the latter being pronounced dr-ah-co, rather than dray-co) - 'cos come on, film Draco? How's he gonna stamp someone's nose! The boy has dimples, dammit! I rest my case.

Originally Posted by Fea

Draco Malfoy (who's too cute in the movie to hate as much as you do in the books)

I want to send to Mordor whoever decided to make Lucius Malfoy so attractive in the films - I'm supposed to hate him but I just love it when he swishes that cape in an off-handed fashion.

Also for Mordor are the drivers who last week decided to drive through a flood at top speed giving me three head-to-toe soakings with vile drain water. I even swallowed some.

[solarisa]

wha?!!! whats siamese cats got to do with mordor??!!! ...

[solarisa]

suggestion: diarrea??!!and constipation-those go and stay in mordor-right??!!
*hehe or do some people actually...enjoy them
and "kotex fits. period" thats goin to morder...
aiyaaa!!! so many problems wish you could just dump em in mordor!!! =__=

[Amanaduial the archer]

Kotex fits?

I just love it when he swishes that cape in an off-handed fashion

*sigh* Yes. Yes, it's all in the cape...*sigh*

Speed cameras. Somehow the speed camera on one stretch of road have caught my mum three times in the past two months when she was going - wait for it - 5 mph over the speed limit...and yet there are none on the stretch of road by my house where the ma-a-any SUVs just speed on down at record speeds. Hmm, maybe the distributors of speed cameras then...*strokes chin, it being the appropriately thoughtful thing to do*

Also the word 'cope'. There's just something about it, the way there's that little pop at the end that is always so out of context. "Is there anything I can do to help you now you and your wife are [state tragic position]?" "Oh, well, you know, we'll....we'll cope-PUH!" That pop, that word...ugh. To Mordor!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Howsabout...

Allergies. When you are required to shift chairs every time the wind changes course to avoid a face full of cigarette smoke (eew). And when the wind changes and the smoke from the bonfire makes you fall over coughing. And when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't breath through your nose because you're sleeping in the middle of the woods (well, the outskirts) in a pine cabin with pine furniture and pine decorations...

Or acute paranoia. "We're on the edge of the statelands that there's a mountain lion hanging out in. Let's walk the 1/2 mile uphill to the cabin at midnight alone." Oh god, were those eyes!?!?

Or skinned knees. I know they aren't so bad, but when you're trying to show off and your success is lessened by the fact that you forgot that pavement hurts to slide on, the newly acquired raw spots on foot, ankle, and knee serve as neat reminders that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[Dimturiel]

I send headaches straight to Mordor. And I also send nights when there is a full moon because I cannot sleep then. It is no fun at all to stay awake in the dark when all the other beings in the house and outside it are fast asleep. I hate these kind of nights and I stay up untill four in the morning and make up poems because there is nothing else I can do. Last time I made one called "Lullaby". A bit ironic, isn't it?

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by Dimturiel

And I also send nights when there is a full moon because I cannot sleep then.

Have you heard of the Werewolf Games, perchance...? You should pop round...

[Dimturiel]

No thanks. I am not a werewolf. If I were, I woukd just go outside, transform myself and return home in the morning after a very exciting night, instead of lying in my bed inventing poems and talking to my Aragorn poster.

[Elonve]

leaches!!!!!!! School dinners (euch institutional food!) !!!!
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Kitchen Measures

[Kath]

I want to assign hayfever - I'm exhausted from all that sneezing!

Oh and fathers who think they know everything about computers and then delete your programs either by accident because they don't actually have a clue about what they're doing or on purpose because if it doesn't belong to them how can it possibly be important.

[Elonve]

college applications!!!!! grrrr! As if i don't have enough problems...
I think my ex-boyfriend can burn in the firey hell that is mordor!
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Lovely Wendie99

[Evisse the Blue]

I feel like assigning JK Rowling to Mordor to be honest...
It will be like throwing the One Ring away because her books are great and addictive and all, but heck, she's eevil! How can she do this to us, how?!

Btw, let's go easy on the spoilers, though, because there are still people who haven't read the book.

[Orominuialwen]

I assign 6 am flights to Mordor. You're supposed to be at the airport two hours beforehand, which means you have to leave for the airport before 4 am. Blech!

[Elonve]

Custom checks! You have to take your shoes off! Honestly!!! How paranoid can you get?
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WHAT TEMPERATURE DO YOU SET A VAPORITE VAPORIZER FOR BEST USE

[the guy who be short]

Films based on books that radically alter storylines. LotR was passable. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was good. War of the Worlds has no right at all to be associated with one of the greatest science fiction writers of all time. They could have just made the tripods bipedal and given the film a new name, and nobody would know it was supposed to be WotW.

[CaptainofDespair]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

Films based on books that radically alter storylines. LotR was passable. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was good. War of the Worlds has no right at all to be associated with one of the greatest science fiction writers of all time. They could have just made the tripods bipedal and given the film a new name, and nobody would know it was supposed to be WotW.

Which Chocolate Factory? The Gene Wilder version, or *shudders* the Johnny Depp version? The former was creepy good, but the Depp version is most certainly trash.

Thus, I send Johnny Depp to Mordor. I will also send Hollywood and fruitcakes (often seen together ) to that dark land beyond Gondor.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by CaptainofDespair

Thus, I send Johnny Depp to Mordor.

I'm having visions of a large party of female 'Downers hammering on the Black Gate pleading to be let in...

[Firefoot]

Which Chocolate Factory? The Gene Wilder version, or *shudders* the Johnny Depp version? The former was creepy good, but the Depp version is most certainly trash.

Nah, the Gene Wilder version is the one that scared me so bad as a kid that I don't ever want to have anything to do with that book/movie ever again... the Umpa Lumpas (Oompa Loompas?) were especially creepy; little orange men (women? I couldn't tell...) with green hair haunt my dreams. (Actually, I did dream about them once...) That movie/book can definitely go to Mordor.

Actually, a lot of books/movies based off books by Roald Dahl scared me - eg James and the Giant Peach... So let's just send Roald Dahl to Mordor, and every single book he ever wrote.

[Oddwen]

Aww, man Firefoot. I agree about the Gene Wilder version, but I guess I'll just follow the book to Mordor.

Road Construction I send to Mordor. Not that it's a bad thing in itself, but the kind of construction that is made during the worst time of the year during the fair causing a lack of business and making it very slow at my BK.

(I can just imagine the men in the reflective suits filling in all the pits in Gorgoroth...diverting the traffic around the ghylls and such...hahahahahaaaa.)

Yellow cars can go to Mordor. As can salt that sticks in the shakers when it gets humid.

Generic, uninventive Tolkien fanfiction can go to Mordor. Maybe I'm just jaded but I haven't read anything original in a long time.

[Encaitare]

Thus, I send Johnny Depp to Mordor.

Gasp!

So let's just send Roald Dahl to Mordor, and every single book he ever wrote.

Double gasp!

Surely Matilda wasn't all that scary...

[Orominuialwen]

I agree about the Gene Wilder version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I remember watching it when I was 4 or 5 years old and being absolutely terrified of when that girl goes down into the furnace. The book I recall as being okay, but I red it when I was 10 or so and don't remember much of it.

I would like to assign the process by which one's wisdom teeth are removed to Mordor. My friend just got hers out today, and talking to her I was reminded of what a thoroughly unpleasant experience it was for me. (I got mine out the Tuesday before Easter this year, and then had to sing in my choir for Good Friday and Easter, which was quite difficult!)

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I'm having visions of a large party of female 'Downers hammering on the Black Gate pleading to be let in...

Now there's an idea for the rpg.

[Arod]

People who throw their trash on the ground or leave it on a picnic table in a public area when there is a trash can 15 feet away. There is no excuse really. It's simply laziness.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones. And, after she gets mad for them being ignorant berks, they take that as conclusive proof they were right.

They can all vacation with the Nazgul.

And slivers. I really just hate slivers. And stubbed toes. Nasty things.

Also people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles. It's Rah-men.

[Elonve]

Breast cancer i would like to send it to mordor...

people who spit gum out on to the pavementand then you step in it and it gets all over the place! grrrrr!
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SHIP SALE

[CaptainofDespair]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones. And, after she gets mad for them being ignorant berks, they take that as conclusive proof they were right.

They can all vacation with the Nazgul.

I'd like to vacation with the Nazgul regardless.

And you're right, men who do that should be sent to Mordor. Of course they are wrong...women are always in bad moods...hormones or not (unless they are shopping).

EDIT: *is, of course, kidding*

[littlemanpoet]

Multiple lynching in Werewolf. Blah. No guesswork, no risk factor. Boooooring. Not to mention quite Sarumanesque. "Let's kill off almost everybody in order to take out the lycanthrope. That way, even though everybody's dead, we still win. Yay." Yeah right. To Mordor with it!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Multiple lynching in Werewolf. Blah. No guesswork, no risk factor. Boooooring.

Alas true. But a valid and effective tactic.

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Not to mention quite Sarumanesque. "Let's kill off almost everybody in order to take out the lycanthrope. That way, even though everybody's dead, we still win. Yay." Yeah right. To Mordor with it!

I would rather view it as a sacrifice for the greater good (ie the people of the surrounding area). Rather like that which those who stood before Morannon were prepared to make.

[the phantom]

I agree with SPM.

Which means, of course, that multi-lynchings do not go to Mordor. Sorry, lmp, but it's a rule that if both SPM and the phantom endorse something it cannot be sent to Mordor, nor can their decision be overruled.

[Elonve]

Originally Posted by the phantom

I agree with SPM.

Which means, of course, that multi-lynchings do not go to Mordor. Sorry, lmp, but it's a rule that if both SPM and the phantom endorse something it cannot be sent to Mordor, nor can their decision be overruled.

He's right lmp ! and plus the country I am in is a supposed democracy so majority of the vote wins... Sorry lmp
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Homemade Lightbulb Vaporizers

[littlemanpoet]

I'll reserve further discussion of this particular topic (multiple lynchings) to the appropriate thread.

[the guy who be short]

The disconcerting feeling of finding a whole chick pea lurking in your braces 6 hours after your last meal.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Sorry, lmp, but it's a rule that if both SPM and the phantom endorse something it cannot be sent to Mordor, nor can their decision be overruled.

Except by Fea. Who first agreed with LMP via PM, and now makes it public. Multiple lynchings take all the fun out of the game. It turns it cold and clinical as opposed to encouraging acute paranoia that you just screwed up big time, which is so very much better.

Multiple lynchings are BORING. And as we all know, boring is bad and should be sent to Mordor. By default, multiple lynchings go to Mordor. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Thank you, have a nice day.

On a separate note, I quite honestly think that medication tolerance should be packed up and shipped out. "I'm dying from allergies." "Here, take this." And it doesn't work. And you repeat this with several different medications, none of them actually working, because you've been prescribed them too many times, until finally, your problem clears up on it's own and the only result is that next time, the drugs will work even less.

And on a further separate note, Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. See, there are no SAVE blocks in the Pit. And I didn't save before I headed in because I hadn't planned on going past level 20. Perfect health on level 80, Game Over on 81. Now I have 80 levels of baddies to re-beat, not to mention several troubles to solve. What a waste of time.

Oh, and nagging parents. "You only have six days before you leave for college and you haven't done your homework. You have two two page papers to write. I want that done TODAY." Like I won't get it done, and like procrastination won't make me work all the better once I finally do it. And like "what do you think" essays aren't the easiest thing in the world to write.

And finally... being too sick to flirt with the incredibly good looking guy who was working the check out when you bought (forced purchase, mind you) the pair of "classy heels" that seem to be required to be dressed in business attire.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Fea

And on a further separate note, Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. See, there are no SAVE blocks in the Pit. And I didn't save before I headed in because I hadn't planned on going past level 20.

I would go further and add any computer game which does not let you save your progress whenever you want, and therefore has you doing the same difficult section over and over again until you get bored and give up (well, I do at least ).

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

the phantom and The Saucepan Man may be brilliant but in this case they are both wrong. They have an opposition of three prominent Werewolf players who have felt the need to clutter this thread with the necessary. Where's your democracy now?

Besides, it's littlemanpoet's thread so anything he says here is right.

That democracy thing was a joke, by the way. I am actually sending democracy straight to Mordor. Freedom and democracy? An outrageous juxtaposition! What freedom do I have being governed by Big Hungry Joe down in Govan? (I guess you need to know Scotland to understand that. )

Away with it! Away with it I say! Oh, and Mario: because he's awful.

[The Saucepan Man]

Actually, I am sympathetic to the point that Fea has made..

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

the phantom dragged you down with him and there's no going back.

And I thought that I made that multiple lynching argument about 3 Werewolves ago. I guess that assigning things to Mordor makes your stance that bit more critical.

Mordor looks like a pretty awful place nowadays. Frodo and Sam would probably be reminiscing fondly if they went back today.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Mordor looks like a pretty awful place nowadays. Frodo and Sam would probably be reminiscing fondly if they went back today.

Perhaps they could have cameo roles in LMP's Mordor RP. Surely uncanonical as all heck, but why not just send canoncity to Mordor and have them there in search of it.

You know what can go to Mordor? Screwing up a simple drawing because you forgot how to draw! I'm going to school for art in six days and I couldn't even draw a simple pinecone. Granted, they're not the easiest things to draw, given all the crazy contours, but I started out entirely wrong therefore didn't get very far. It's my own fault for specializing in photography this summer, but how could I forget that line is a waste of time and it's shading that makes the picture?