What do you assign to Mordor?

[Celuien]

Noisy, annoying neighbors on the other side of the common wall who turn up the volume on their speakers so much that the pictures fall off your wall. I'm still finding bits of broken glass in the carpet.

[Lindale]

My brother contracting German measles... and his saying Scheiße every now and then. I don't even know where he got that! I swear I never taught him that!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The seeming connection amuses me - German measles do not teach the language...

[Rikae]

Are you sure, Esty? After all, I seem to be immunized against the language as well - 2 years of study and I can barely read "Momo" and evesdrop on the in-laws.

And to stay on topic, I assign the brilliant people at the college who seem to have mailed a $5K check intended for me to some other planet.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I assign being bloated, plus having a dreadful cold that makes my nose so congested that I can hardly breathe at night. I also assign having the Standard Based Assessments the next day, maths. Which is my least favourite kind. (But I did get to read about the history of Galadriel and Celeborn and Of Tuor and His Coming to Gondolin, that's a plus I suppose)

[Mnemosyne]

This is one for the Americans...

Adverts, newspaper headlines, magazine blurbs, or student/local campaigns--anything trying to get success by stealing slogans, art designs, or even color schemes from the Obama election campaign. The next time I see another "yes you can" from anyone (aside from the wiseguy who's going to try quoting this at me just to see what I'll do), the person responsible is going straight to Orodruin. No second chances.

[Inziladun]

Though it was inarguably a successful campaign motif, I quite agree. I found a local auto dealer's ad using it to be particularly tiresome.

[Groin Redbeard]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

Though it was inarguably a successful campaign motif, I quite agree. I found a local auto dealer's ad using it to be particularly tiresome.

Our local gun shop had an Obama sale! I personally have no problems with the ads if they get you a better deal on a hunting rifle, or whatever you plan on buying.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

Our local gun shop had an Obama sale! I personally have no problems with the ads if they get you a better deal on a hunting rifle, or whatever you plan on buying.

The gun shops around here reportedly have seen business flourish also, though I didn't hear of any Obama connotation used to advertise.

[Groin Redbeard]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

The gun shops around here reportedly have seen business flourish also, though I didn't hear of any Obama connotation used to advertise.

Sorry Inziladun, but you don't live in Texas!

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

Sorry Inziladun, but you don't live in Texas!

Not Texas, but it's not too far away. I spent some time at Lackland AFB near San Antonio in the mid 90's.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

[Lalwendë]

Hold onto your dinners, folks!

I assign the aliens (also known as bacteria) which have been trying to eat my leg. It looks like they have been halted around the knee though they have left a right oozy mess behind them so my shin looks like I tried to put out the Pyre of Denethor. Hurrah for industrial strength intravenous antibiotics though!

I also assign disappointing Doctor Who specials that rip off Lara Croft and Harry Potter in an especially bad, lazy and unironic way. Especially when I am ill and have been looking forward to a feast of fun.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Good things to know:

1) you don't have to shift into first gear before you come to a complete stop, but

2) you do still have to press down the clutch.

And so of course there were several oh dear god the car is rolling away dad how to I make it move forward AHHHH! it stalled moments.

Press the clutch, turn the key, oh god it's rolling backward again! (stall)
Press the clutch, turn the key, foot on the brake

-switch to the gas at hyperspeed!-

[sound of tires squealing on pavement]

Huh.

Well then.

Well, at least I'm moving forward...

No-gas-clutch-second-gas

No-gas-clutch-third-gas

All right. Doin' good. No-gas-clutch-fourth-gas

Oh no, not another hill!

Climbing
Climbing

Eek

No-gas-clutch-third-gas

[whimper]

Climbing
Climbing
Slowing down
Slowing down

[whimper]

Approaching the top at 5mph

I think I can
I think I can

Crested!

Success!

No, not another stop sign!!!

[Pitchwife]

Fea, this sounds appallingly familiar... and reminded me of this joke by a person I studied with (who got his own driving license at 30-something):

General rule:
number of driving lessons required to pass the test = your age in years
Special rule for intellectuals:
number of driving lessons required to pass the test = your age in years + your IQ

As for myself, I finally passed the test at 42 - and if I did it, everybody can!

[Mithalwen]

I think it is just the manual transmission she is struggling with (which can also be very vehicle specific especially with older cars - though new ones can be so quiet that you don't hear the "bite" - I kept thinking I had stalled my hire car). But the idea of driving an auto scares me - what do you do if you have to go through flood water, how do you get more power for hills... I guess it is just what you are used to...

However I will but the intellectual theory since I passed third time... But I wouldn't pass now since they have added reverse parking to the test ..

Oh and I assign finding out who your friends are the bad way...

[Durelin]

Historiography.

I'd assign being done with one (several weeks early, too!) to the Shire but for all the wasted time...not that Hobits are averse to wasing time, just tend to do it in a much^nth more enjoyable way...

[Oddwen]

I'd like to assign that ol' feeling where the ground seems to be sinking beneath you. Especially when you can only feel it with one leg.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I assign looking forward to a trip to the UK this summer (since August), but having your parents JUST tell you a week ago that they cancelled the trip the first week in March because they couldn't pay for me to go. I was disappointed to say the least.

[Laurinquë]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

I assign looking forward to a trip to the UK this summer (since August), but having your parents JUST tell you a week ago that they canceled the trip the first week in March because they couldn't pay for me to go. I was disappointed to say the least.

All my sympathy.

As for what I assign to Mordor; I assign American Football. It's truly terrible. And dreadfully confusing. Give me real football any day.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

As for what I assign to Mordor; I assign American Football. It's truly terrible. And dreadfully confusing. Give me real football any day.

As an American, I could easily assign 'real football', which I find insufferably boring.
I think it's mainly a question of what one is culturally accustomed to, though 'soccer' has been gaining popularity in the U.S. for many years now.

[Groin Redbeard]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

I assign looking forward to a trip to the UK this summer (since August), but having your parents JUST tell you a week ago that they cancelled the trip the first week in March because they couldn't pay for me to go. I was disappointed to say the least.

Sorry about that TGEW. Especially since I know that you have been talking about a trip to England for some time.

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

As for what I assign to Mordor; I assign American Football. It's truly terrible. And dreadfully confusing. Give me real football any day.

American Football assigned to Mordor? Now I've heard it all. Possibly the best sport ever made for boys and it's assigned to Mordor. What's this world coming to?

[Kath]

I'm with the others on American Football. What a useless game. I wouldn't mind it so much except they're constantly changing the entire team every 5 minutes, which of course means they put an advert break in and makes a game that should take an hour about 4 hours long. Very dull.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'm willing to argue that American Football is fun to play- but is death warmed over if you have to sit and watch it.

I assign waiting for a package to arrive. I wants it, precious, and it's late.

[Oddwen]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

And so of course there were several oh dear god the car is rolling away dad how to I make it move forward AHHHH! it stalled moments.

Press the clutch, turn the key, oh god it's rolling backward again! (stall)
Press the clutch, turn the key, foot on the brake

-switch to the gas at hyperspeed!-

[sound of tires squealing on pavement]

Huh.

Well then.
...
Climbing
Climbing

Eek

No-gas-clutch-third-gas

[whimper]

Climbing
Climbing
Slowing down
Slowing down

[whimper]

Approaching the top at 5mph

I think I can
I think I can

Crested!

Success!

No, not another stop sign!!!

I've done this. On a very small hill with a stop sign and a speed bump at the top. And some strange old guy shouting directions at me outside my window. It was probably worse for my sister in the seat beside me though.

[Laurinquë]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

As an American, I could easily assign 'real football', which I find insufferably boring.
I think it's mainly a question of what one is culturally accustomed to, though 'soccer' has been gaining popularity in the U.S. for many years now.

Well, I'm an American too actually (though I prefer to be called Alaskan). I just happen to be an American that despises being forced to play American football and likes to pretend to be British.

Moving on, another thing that could be assigned to Mordor is forgetfulness. I apparently left my dear Doctor Zhivago book at the hairdresser's. I fear it will languish there for at least a week before I can make it over there to retrieve it. For some odd reason I always leave something at that place! Last time it was my DSLR camera . . .

[Folwren]

I assign lack of writing time to Mordor most emphatically. (Does that mean we move school, work, household chores there, too? Yep, I guess it does. Without those we'd definitely have more writing time.)

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

Sorry about that TGEW. Especially since I know that you have been talking about a trip to England for some time.

Yeah, I was not impressed.

I quite agree with Laurinque about the football thing though, Groin.

[Eönwë]

Not having a day off today!

[Gwathagor]

I lived in England, and it's nothin' special. Just a lot of hills and cobblestones and rain. And castles.

[Lhunardawen]

Having to transfer from a beautiful university campus having lots of trees and open spaces to one which is a claustrophobe's worst nightmare, with almost not a tree in sight.

Sunflowers not blooming enough when you've waited all year for them.

[Kath]

Recording a show that you really wanted to watch and then discovering that because of the idiotic system wherein a show gets cut in half if there is a news show in the middle you only have half said show. I am fuming.

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Folwren

I assign lack of writing time to Mordor most emphatically. (Does that mean we move school, work, household chores there, too? Yep, I guess it does. Without those we'd definitely have more writing time.)

Wholeheartedly seconded... But I could also assign laziness/procrastination that hinders writing...

[Laurinquë]

Originally Posted by Gwathagor

I lived in England, and it's nothin' special. Just a lot of hills and cobblestones and rain. And castles.

You've torn all our fancies to shreds! Not really, I went to the UK in 2007 and found it to be more than hills, cobblestones, rain, and castles. I was also awesome. Not that there is anything wrong with hills, castles, etc. I was quite impressed by them to be honest. Particularly the castles, we do not have very many of those in the U.S.

Other things to assign: People who laugh at you for wearing bicycling helmets. They are all egregiously puerile imbeciles. I'd have truely joined the Barrow-Downs several years ago if I had not worn one.

[Gwathagor]

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

You've torn all our fancies to shreds! Not really, I went to the UK in 2007 and found it to be more than hills, cobblestones, rain, and castles. I was also awesome. Not that there is anything wrong with hills, castles, etc. I was quite impressed by them to be honest. Particularly the castles, we do not have very many of those in the U.S.

(Shh! I know this, of course, but I was trying to make her feel better.)

[Mithalwen]

You know that some tourists ask why we buit so many ruined castles in Britain ..and why they built Windsor Castle in the flightpath to Heathrow.... let alone the people who asked if they needed passports to go to the Isle of Wight....

[Gwathagor]

Oh brother.

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by Gwathagor

(Shh! I know this, of course, but I was trying to make her feel better.)

her?

[Oddwen]

I'd like to assign setting my early-early morning alarm for PM instead of AM...grr!

I'm fairly certain it was subconsciously on purpose too, because I stayed up too late the night previous.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

I'd like to assign setting my early-early morning alarm for PM instead of AM...grr!

I'm fairly certain it was subconsciously on purpose too, because I stayed up too late the night previous.

It's funny, but I've noticed that when I've 'forgotten' to set my alarm, or set it incorrectly, it's almost invariably on occasions when I'm exceptionally tired. It's as if the body takes over for a moment and overrides the brain's conscious actions.