Middle Earth Idol

[Diamond18]

Diamond18 got a very different critque from Sleepy this time around, but did Middle Earth care that he thought she was too pitchy? Apparently not. Diamond18, You are safe.

That's because I wasn't pitchy, Cowell is just delusion. And tone deaf.

Kath and Alc. I voted for both of yas... Alc especially 'cause you sang one of my favorite songs. See what happens when you don't vote, people? (Sorry, Valesse, for stealing one of your lines. )

Um, right, I'll sing later.

[Valesse]

Thats quite alright, Diamond18. *squints for several minutes*

We should hope that there is a better voter turn out for the next round. If not Wilwa might be apt replace her Orca Cola with something a bit more Green Dragon in nature.

So, everyone, for the sake of the Ear-drums of the Deep*, please vote.

* (I winced writing that. I really did. It isn't even a very good pun.)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Valesse

Hookbill the Goomba - is the pressure on?- went for a different approach with some novelty comedy. Even though it wasn't to Cowell's liking he is quite safe tonight.

Comedy? My dear fellow, it was a deeply political song about the current state of Gondor!

Anyway, are we okay to sing our next songs now?

[Sleepy Ranger]

Yeah. Deadline is 5th June.

[Lhunardawen]

Hi, I'm back with a part of the song On My Own, from the musical Les Miserables...in Gollum's voice.


And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to go no one to turn to
Without a home, without a friend
With the White Face to say hello to
And now the night is near
Now I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of It and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The hobbits go to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own, pretending It's beside me
All alone, I walk with It till morning
Without It, I feel His Eye around me
And when I lose it again I close my eyes
And It has found me

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to It
And although I know that It is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love It, but when the night is over
It is gone, the fishy's just a fishy
Without It, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The ways are full of Rangers

I love It, but every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me, Its world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love It
I love It
I love It
But only on my own

[Hookbill the Goomba]

So, despite what the critics were saying, Hookbill was through to the next round. Controversial. Surly his luck wouldn't hold out for much longer. This had to be the very last song! People's ears were sure to be bleeding by now!

"Hello, again, here is a song about... well... everything, really. It's called, Immigrant Song!"

Aaaahhh, ah! Aaaahhh, ah!

We come from the land of the Dark Lord's snow,
From the midnight sun where the Dragons blow.
The hammer called Grond, will drive our Orcs to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valinor, I am coming!

On we sweep with threshing sword, our only goal will be the blackened dawn!

Aaaahhhh, ah! Aaaaahhh, ah!

We come from the land of the Dark Lord's snow,
From the midnight sun where the Dragons blow.
How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we came wirth tides of war. We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing sword, our only goal will be the blackened dawn!

So now you'd better stop rebuilding all your ruins,
For war and doom can win the day despite of all your losing.

****

All was slient. Untill...

BOOM!

A grenade hit Hookbill square on the chin and he is sent flying into the back of the stage. To the horror of the audience he is still alive and dragged to the hospital, having his head bashed on anything that passed on the way.

[Anguirel]

I'm returning with a version of Mrs Robinson, retitled Earendilson, as featured in the hit film "The Graduate". I will sing in the voice of Maglor, then in the last verse in the voice of Elrond. Harp accompaniment, plus guitar...

Earendilson

And here’s to you, Earendilson
Maglor loves you more than you will know
(Wo wo wo)
Manwe bless you, Earendilson
Valmar holds a place for those who sail
(Hey hey hey – hey hey hail)

I’d like to know a little bit about you for laments
You tried to help me learn to help myself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around valleys until you feel at home
And here’s to you, Earendilson
Maglor loves you more than you will know
(Wo wo wo)

Varda bless you, Earendilson
Valmar holds a place for those who sail
(Hey hey hey – hey hey hail)
Hide them in a hidden vale where no one ever goes
Put them in your Last House with your great hope
It’s a little secret, just Earendilson's affair
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the kids
Coo coo ca choo, Earendilson
Maglor loves you more than you will know
(Wo wo wo)

Mandos bless you, Feanorion
Valmar holds a place for those who sail
(Hey hey hey – hey hey hail)
Sitting on a Council on a stormy afternoon
Going to the Istari’s debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When I’ve got to choose
Ev’ry way you look at it I lose
Where have you gone, Joe diMagloro?
An elfdom turns its lonely eyes to you
(Woo woo woo)
What’s that you say, Feanorion
‘Mad Maglor’ has left and gone away?
(Hey hey hey – hey hey hey)

[Gurthang]

Hello! Gurthang here; back for another round... hopefully not my last. Tonight my song will be a little bit different. It's a little bit of rap, but a little bit slow; so get ready for a ride. I'll be singing in the voice of Arwen (singing to Aragorn) and my song is Where'd You Go? (Alteration of Where'd You Go? by Fort Minor. Yes, I know that the rapper in Fort Minor is male, and Arwen is not, but I think the message fits rather well.) So here we go.

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

He said "Some days I just want to quit,
Stop being the King unfit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay here at home,
But your voice isn't here so I feel so alone,
Yet I feel like an idiot, workin' my eternity around you,
When in fact you won't be here for it all,
So, I want you to know it's a little messed up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you being the heir,
Me in Rivendell just here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to be since you were a babe in the crib,
Used to stay close to and harldy travel from more than a mile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Now, I find myself just fillin' my time,
And my father keeps the thought of you from my mind,
I'm being pushed, they want me headed away,
To the Grey Havens and across the Sea to stay,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little messed up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you being the heir,
Me in Rivendell just here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little messed up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you off at war,
When you come back I'll be in Valinor and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

You Group 1 chappies are in luck.

William the powerhouse is pulling out of the competition.

Good luck, y'all!

[Celuien]

Somewhat outside my usual style, this song is. 'Tis called "Another twist of the blade," and is from a song by Flogging Molly. The style is folk rock with a heavy percussive beat in the background. It's sung by Grima Wormtongue when...well, you'll see.

T’was in the early evenin’
Near the presence of the moon
When you brought me to learn your cause.
Well, now I see too late -
This dagger I twist in your back
Is because me I never should
Have trusted you at all.
Now beggar and fool
I see your true face in this place -
A serpent with two arms
Devouring me while reigns the sun
With wanderings in foreign lands.
This cold dark tormented life
Is all I’ll ever know now.
So when you die at last
I’ll not mourn for you.

With another twist of the blade -

I scratch your name across these walls
And your blood runs red
Then drips upon a hard cold floor
Where I now call my bed.
No precious light to harbor
Like so many here before
I'm tormented ever more.

With another twist of the blade.

Temper filled with blindness
Leads this lost and lonely man.
Dragged around by your orders
An unhappy, trapped lost man.
So deafen me with silence
Drown me with your roar
Scowl me with your hollow eyes
Still burning to the core.
All doors will go unanswered
Like so many closed before.
No vagabond to knock upon -
This tired and beaten man
And I’ll return from exile
Free from you for once and all.
Decline and fall old Saruman
The truth will yet be found.

With another twist of the blade
With another twist of the blade
With another twist of the blade

This cold dark tormented life
Is all I’ll ever know now.
So when you die at last
I’ll not mourn for you.

Temper filled with blindness
Leads this lost and lonely man.
Dragged around by your orders
An unhappy, trapped lost man.
So deafen me with silence
Drown me with your roar
Scowl me with your hollow eyes
Still burning to the core.
All doors will go unanswered
Like so many closed before.
No vagabond to knock upon
This tired and beaten man
And I’ll return from exile
Free from you for once and all.

With another twist of the blade
With another twist of the blade
With another twist of the blade
With another twist of the blade

[Diamond18]

Okay, I've decided to depart from the Middle Earth theme and go with a 'Downs themed song this round. I shall be singing "All You People Are Werewolves" by the Helcaraxë Villagers.*

Imagine a fair bit of alt rock 'tude and that's all ya need to know.


I’ve read your posts as they fix on me
What is she doing what on earth is the plan has she got one?
Don't try to give me some pointers since you're all unknown villagers
And I'm just an ordinary one

I ain't got no Wolifsh plots on my mind
That might be a surprise but it's true
I suspect all of you and I don't want your lynch votes or your trust
Or to think in the ways you do

And I never will

Cause all you people are werewolves
And all your theories are stale
And though you pretend to help us
I know you're hoping we'll fail

Well, I've read your posts as they fix on me
Full of suspicion your snarl is just so condescending
Try to pretend that we're on to a win when the gifteds keep dying at night
While we're lynching each other every day

He said I can't believe that you let them lead you astray
Well how much did they fool ya how much did they fool ya
You'd have been better to stay out of their way
Thinking about things but not actually posting anything

Cause all you people are werewolves
And all your theories are stale
And though you pretend to help us
I know you're hoping we'll fail

[repeat]

[long guitar/drum section followed by a moment of silence]

*yells*
All you people are werewolves!

[instrumental fade till end]



* (Which resembles a song called "Perhaps Vampires Is a Bit Strong, But..." by the Arctic Monkeys)

[littlemanpoet]

Good evening. This is a song of loss. An elegy. Samwise Gamgee wrote it in an inspired moment shortly after returning from the Grey Havens. A modern group* has laid claim to the song, and their arrangement will be used for tonight's performance. This is in honor of all those who have lost a special friend, or who have lived through a dire adventure, and now are wistful of its passing.

Another time it might have been so different
Frodo, if only you did not hurt so deeply
but now, for me, it's just a lonely heartache
I've my family, though memory still remains

Far away, away, fading distant light
leaving me far behind, lost in a changing world
and I know that this is the end of an age
I'll remember

Like the story that we wish was never ending
We know sometime we must reach the final page
still we carry on just pretending
that there'll always be one more day to go

Far away, away, fading distant lights
leaving us far behind, lost in a changing world
and you know that this is the end of an age
so remember...

One last hello, one last goodbye
so many things we'll never see again
days of war for a Ring so fraught with peril
seem somehow distant now that you are gone

Far away, away, fading distant lights
leaving us far behind, lost in a changing world
and you know that this is the end of an age
remember

* from Genesis, We Can't Dance: Fading Lights

[The Only Real Estel]

Hey all, I'm (as I so often seem to be) Estel & here we go with another one. This one is a country/rock (as critics of the band put it) song called What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flats.

It's being sung by Otho Sackville-Baggins regarding his hard luck with attempts at snagging Bag End.

I can take the rain on the roof of this smaller house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on without Bag End still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to pack
And then watching you come back
And never knowing
What could have been
And you not seeing that moved in
Is what I should have been

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing it everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see that hole and I’m not there
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away everything that I saved in my life
That I left unspent

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to pack
And then watching you come back
And never knowing
What could have been
And you not seeing that moved in
Is what I should have been

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to pack
And then watching you come back
And never knowing
What could have been
And you not seeing that moved in
Is what I should have been

You not seeing that moved in
That’s what I should have been

Thank you and good night.

[Boromir88]

I regret to announce my resignation. I'm all dried up, sucked out, can't concentrate, got nothing left, used up, empty tank....and so on.

I got too much stuff on my plate as it is, and I have absolutely nothing left. Even if I was so kindly granted an extension I know by the next time I have to get in a song, the same will happen as I will be even busier and more loaded down. So I guess this is my official withdrawal.

Thankyou wilwa, sleepy, Glirdan, and Valesse, this was an excellent idea. I enjoyed it, hopefully I can keep track a bit, but I got too much stuff to do and there's no point in having to wait for me.

Good luck fellow singers, it's been a great pleasure.

[Mithalwen]

Mithalwen, somewhat bizarrely in the style of Bono, singing as Elrond singing to Celebrian.

The Undying Land

Hold me now, oh hold me now
'Til this hour has gone around
And you're gone on the rising tide
For to seek the Undying land

It's a bitter pill I swallow here
To be rent from one so dear
We fought to save you, and heal your pain
But your sorrow drives you away.

Now night falls and our people wane
Sauron's threat returns again
And a day will come in this darkling land
When a mortal man seeks our daughter's hand.

Hold me now, oh hold me now
'Til this hour has gone around
And you're gone on the rising tide
For to seek the Undying land

[The Saucepan Man]

Time constraints mean that I am forced to uncover another number from my back catalogue. It's rousing little number by the Shire band, Steppenwarg, called Born in the Shire. More details concerning their life and times may be found here:

Steppenwarg, a brief history

And so, without further ado ...

Get my muffin buttered
Feet up by the fireplace
Hiding from adventure
In a most un-Tookish way

No Gandalf, you’re not welcome
Leave me here in my comfy hole
Don’t want no Dragon’s treasure
Not meeting no Trolls

I like beer and mushrooms
Heavy belly thunder
Blowing smoky rings
In the Hill that I’m under

No Gandalf, you’re not welcome
Leave me here in my comfy hole
Don’t want no Dragon’s treasure
Not meeting no Trolls

Like a true Hobbit child
I was born – born in the Shire
The only Dragon round here
Is Green and serves beer

Born in the Shire!
Born in the Shire!

[Valesse]

Because of recent events several contestants have dropped out of the competition, leaving 11 to start the finals.

Yes, that means that no one - except for those pulling out - will be eliminated.

This, officially, starts the third phase of the competition. Themes will be announced after the eliminations until the last contestant remains. The theme for this round is "the 80s". As ever, if there are any questions or conflicts please let either the judges or myself know before the cut off date: June 15th.

So who will be the next Middle Earth Idol? We'll find out in the next few rounds here....in the Hall of Fire. *walks toward the camera slowly, squinting, and trips ungracefully on a step.*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The 80s it is then!

Here, to the dismay of the crowd, is Hookbill, once again, performing another song to make your ears bleed! Everyone groans as he takes to the microphone...

"Hello, here is a song that is about a man who you may well know. Cast your minds back to the first age, or there about and guess the character!"

***

The Song of the Swords
Hawkwind
(Mutilated by Hookbill)

A clash of steel!
A blinding light!
Is this the start of Chaos' fight?
We were born to be free
Not to live in terror under tyranny

(My eyes were blind I could not see
what was this Morgoth’s sorcery?
I heard a murmuring in the night
Black swords hanging cold as ice
Will they lead me to Paradise?)

Take up the sword
And take up me
The Dark lord's answer is to be
Your path is chosen, you have no choice
Come join us now, thus spoke the voice

Paradise, is this my Paradise?

There, Hurin tortured by the blackest fears
Then fell Turin melts in shameless tears
The journey onward; it never ends
When you're alone with so few friends...

****

As the song ended there were courses of boo’s and hisses and bottle cast onto the stage and the little man waddled off to hide.

[The Only Real Estel]

80s huh? Well, 80s it is I guess...

I'm Estel & I'll be doing The Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, in the voices of Merry and Pippin.

Tired and weak, it's been a long day;
I guess we both missed dinner.
Can't walk much more, but we know just the place;
We'd sell our souls for a mug just to drain!

But we're not dumb, it's just down the street;
It's that lovely Green Dragon.
Propped up our feet, now we're gobblin' up meat.
Come inside, you might hear us say:

Try the pie or the cider,
They're on special tonight!
If you want, you can have an appetizer!
You might like their salami, and the mince pie's all right.
And they'd really go well with the pie,
Or the cider.

Never skip, more than one meal;
It's never good to be hungry.
And they make a pretty mean apple tart,
Have a taste, they were made fresh today!

Try the pie or the cider, or the cake or the beer;
Maybe we can suggest an appetizer.
Stay away from the salad, cause it looks a mite queer;
But you just can't go wrong with the pie,
Or the cider.

Throwing up, straight out the chute;
Straight from the gut, in it's glory.
Went the distance, now we can't help but puke,
Hobbits that ate much too much once again!

Still, try the pie or the cider;
It's the thrill of one bite!
Let us please be your catering advisor!
If you want substitutions, they won't put up a fight;
And they'd really go well with the pie,
Or the cider.

The pie or the cider...[repeat out]

[The Saucepan Man]

Well, it's going to be difficult to beat TORE in the humour stakes. The Pie or the Cider is destined to become a Shire pub classic.

So I shall try to strike a more pensive chord in this round. Look, I have even removed my pots and pans, since they are not in keeping with the reflective nature of the song that I have chosen for this performance.

It is sung in the style of Glorfindel, while recouperating from his fatal struggle with the Balrog in the Halls of Mandos (to the tune of Vienna by Ultravox).

She mourns in the cold halls
Grieving death in the mortal plane
Crying and weeping
Her tears in the dark wept for pity’s claim
So mystic and soulful
Her voice reaching out in a healing cry
It stays with me until
The feeling is comforting you and I
It cleans suffering from me
This cleans suffering from me
Ah, Nienna

Her music is grieving
Mournful tears for Ezellohar’s twins
Bathing and cleansing
Alone in the halls as the darkness brings
A cool empty silence
The warmth of her heart under Námo’s eye
It aids convalescence
The anguish has gone when I hear her cry
It cleans suffering from me
This cleans suffering from me
Ah, Nienna

[String solo]

She cleans suffering from me
This cleans suffering from me
Ah, Nienna

[Gurthang]

Well, looks like it's getting close to crunch time.

Anyway, I'm Gurthang (always will be) and I'm back again to sing another song to you. Tonight, I'm singing as Elrond, to Arwen, trying to convince her to go to Valinor. I'd like to call it My Daughter Arwen. (Revamped lyrics from Sister Christian by Night Ranger.) Hope you like.

My daughter Arwen
Oh the time has come
And you know
That you're the only one who can say
O.K.
Are you going
What you waiting for
You know that boat
It will not stay no more
For you
It's true

You're pondering
Will you give eternal life
To stay with mister right
and be here for the night

Arwen you know
You've grown up so fast
And Daddy's worried
That you'll soon decide to say
I'll stay
My daughter Arwen
There's so much in life
Don't you give it up
Before your time is due
It's true
It's true yeah

Pondering
Will you give eternal life
Just because he's in your sights
And is with you tonight
Pondering
Will you give eternal life
To stay with mister right
And be here for the night

Pondering
Will you give eternal life
To stay with mister right
And be here for the night
You're motoring
Will you give eternal life
To stay with mister right
And be here for the night

My daughter Arwen
Oh the time has come
And you know
That you're the only one to say
O.K.
But you're pondering
Yeah pondering

[Celuien]

Hmm. 80s. Panakeia doesn't know much about the 80s. Neither does her author.

That said, the next performance will be of "King under the Mountain," sung to a tune by Bon Jovi. In the voice of Thorin. Accompaniment by Gùglë.

"King Under The Mountain"

Oh, Dwarves, now it's time to drive the Dragon's evil out
There's a hunger burning in the heart of our souls.
Come with me! The time is here - so you know you what I'm talking about
Stand up and fight together - no more hiding in holes!

We've been down and mistreated
Now we're standing undefeated

[Chorus:]
I'm the King Under The Mountain
I'm the King of the Dwarves
I'm the King Under The Mountain
I'm the King of the Dwarves

We've spent our lives toiling year to year, away from our own mines
The Dragon says "You fools, you'll never be no good"
But now, of a sudden, there's a magic in the air that makes us come alive
And now's the time Smaug can't put you down, no one could.

We've been down and mistreated
Now we're standing undefeated

[Chorus]

Oh, Dwarves, now it's time to drive the Dragon's evil out
There's a hunger burning in the heart of our souls.
Come with me! The time is here - so you know you what I'm talking about
Stand up and fight together - no more hiding in holes!

We've been down and mistreated
We won't be cheated
Now we're standing undefeated...

[Chorus]

[littlemanpoet]

Greetings. This song is in honor of the day Frodo and Sam struggled into Sammath Naur and the Ring was destroyed. The day became New Year's Day for the Free Peoples of Middle Earth.

* Piano, bass guitar and driving percussion set up the theme..... *

Yeah...

[Frodo to Sam]

All is quiet on New Year's Day
Middle Earth can now get underway
Here we are at the end of all
End of all things
Everything changes this New Year's Day
On New Year's Day

I will be with you again
I will be with you again

[Pippin sings to himself]

Under a blood red sky
Armies have gathered in black and white
Arms raised in battle, so very few
The wise have said, they say
Say it's true it's true...
we can win through
Though torn and broken
We may have won

I...I will begin again
I...I will begin again

[Gandalf murmurs to himself whilst on an Eagle's back]

Oh...
Maybe the time is right
Oh...maybe tonight...

I'm coming for you Frodo
I'm coming for you, brave one

And so comes the passing of another Age
A Ring was the reason this war was waged
I'm coming for you
I come for you this benighted day
All is changed
This New Year's Day
On New Year's Day

* instrumental continues and slowly fades as three Eagles descend upon the heaving shoulders of Orodruin and ascend again, two of them bearing small burdens....*

[Mithalwen]

Mithalwen, with a Lady Di hairdo and too much eyeliner, and clad even more unflatteringly in a frilly shirt and velvet 'bockers has returns to 1981 and New Romanticism with a reworking of the first released Spandau Ballet single "To cut a long story short", which now tells of Nienor Niniel being cast under the spell of the worm Glaurung and her fateful meeting with Turin:

Glaurung is gazing
See him in the sunlight
To cut a long story short
I lost my mind

Standing on the hill top
Found there by Mablung
To cut a long story short
I lost my mind

Running through Brethil
like a wild creature
Fleeing in terror
From elf and orc
To cut a long story short
I lost my mind

Stricken in the rain
Oh I was waiting for death to come
I was beautiful and damned
And so very very young
To be sleeping on a tomb
To be dicovered by Turin

Questions questions
Give me no answers
Thats all they ever give me
Questions questions
Oh look at the strange girl
She finds it hard existing
To cut a long story short
I lost my mind

[Anguirel]

I should confess that the 80s are not my decade. At all. That notwithstanding, I present David "Dark Elf" Bowie's collaboration with Maeglin Mercury, "Under Pressure", sung in a typically glittery and androgynous and disconcerting manner.

EOL: Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah bah
Pressure pressing down on me
Under pressure
That tears a city down
Splits a family in two
Puts corpses on streets

Bah bah bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah bah

That's o-kay!
It's the terror of knowing
What internment's about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Pressure on people

Do do do bah bah bah bah
O-kay
Flyin around
Kick my brains right off the wall
These are the days
It never rains it pours
Corpses on streets
Corpses on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What internment's about
Watching some bad friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Higher right off Caragdur
Turned away from it all
Like a blind man


MAEGLIN: Went to fight but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
But it's so twisted, torn
Why why why?
Love lust lust love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love one more chance?
Why can't we give love give lust give love?
Give love incest give love give lust give love
Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care
For cousins on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way
Of caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves under pressure
Between mountains under pressure

[Valesse]

*stands up, wrapped in the cord and covered in dust... obviously has been struggling on the floor since last appearance* Ahem!

The deadline has past, however, not all of the talent has presented their work. Those that have, and we thank you, include:
Hookbill, TORE, Saucey, Gurthang, Celuien, lmp, Mithalwen, and Anguirel.

If you have not presented, and are in the finals, please let one of us know if you are unable to present. Otherwise, we look forward to your post.

[Diamond18]

I think I shall have to pull out. I haven't been able to think of any 80s songs which are both A) familiar to me and B) easily adaptable to Tolkien. Also, since I didn't really join with any intention of winning or even going past the first round, it's not quite fair to others more into it for me to hang around.

[Lhunardawen]

I'm so sorry everyone, especially Seacrest, Cowell, Jackson, and Abdul...but I will have to pull out as well. I completely intended to be the first ME Idol (), but it seems I'm not cut out for it - RLwise, at least.

I wish all the remaining contenders the best!

[Valesse]

The competitions heated up, and the contestants are dropping like flightless balrogs. Now only eight remain, but so does the question: Who will be the next... Middle Earth Idol?

Because of the missing preformers, we are being forced to continue on to the next round of the finals. The second theme... and this promises to be a good one. Thats right, this is Ballad Week on Middle Earth Idol.

The deadline is July 1st. Have fun!

[Gurthang]

Originally Posted by Valesse

Thats right, this is Ballad Week on Middle Earth Idol.

Uhm... call me stupid, uncultured, or just musically challenged, but what exactly does that mean for me? Like, what am I supposed to do? What exactly qualifies as a ballad? Should I be passing out ear-plugs?

[Valesse]

Ballad:

1. A narrative poem, often of folk origin and intended to be sung, consisting of simple stanzas and usually having a refrain.

2. The music for such a poem.

Some examples include "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes or "They Lady of Shalott" by Tennyson.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

"Well," said the surprisingly still alive Hookbill, "Good evening. Welcome to the Barrow Downs... that’s a silly thing to say, I suppose you live here, anyway... Here is a song about a man they called Harold the Baggins, a Hobbit restaurant owner."

***

News:

A well-known Hobbit restaurant-owner
disappeared early this morning.
Last seen in a mouse-brown Elven cloak
suitably camouflaged,
they saw him on a horse.

Man-in-the-street:

"Father of three its disgusting"
"Such a horrible thing to do"
Harold the Baggins cut off his toes
and he served them all for tea
"Can't go far", "He can't go far".
"Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
"He can't go far".

Hobbit-on-the-spot:

I'm standing in a doorway in By-water
tension is mounting
There's a restless crowd of angry Shire folk

Hobbit-on-the-council:

"More than we've ever seen.
- had to tighten up security"

Over to the scene at Michel Delving
The Shire Mayor's ready to speak

Mayor:

"Man of suspicion, you can't last long,
The Public is on our side"

Public:

"Can't last long", "You can't last long".
"Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
"You can't last long".

Harold:

If I was many miles from here,
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge,
With the whole world below
Up at the window
Look at the window...

Mr.Plod:

"We can help you
We can help you
We're all your friends, if you come on down
And talk to us son"

Harold:

You must be joking
Take a running jump

The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
getting weaker;
Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
Fearing the very worst
They called his mother to the sight
Upon the ledge beside him
His mother made a last request.

67-yr-old Mrs Baggins:

"Come off the ledge
if your father were alive he'd be very,
very, very upset.
"Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
"Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from
the B.B.C.*"
"You just can't jump"

Mr. Plod:

"We can help you"
"We can help you"
"We're all your friends, if you come on down
and talk to us Harry"

Harold:

You must be joking.
Take a running jump......

* The Barrow Broadcasting Co-operation.


And Hookbill did take a running jump... out of the window as bottles and other things flew onto the stage.

[Anguirel]

Are we no longer getting Cowell critiques?

Oh well. I like so many ballads it was hard to choose, but I will be performing the traditional Banks of the Bann (retitled Doriath Glade) in the tenor voice of Beren.

When first unto this forest as a stranger I came
I placed my affections on a maid (yet not young)
Her being fair and tender, her waist small and slender
Kind Fortune had formed her for my overthrow.

In that Doriath glade, it was there I first met her
She appeared like fair Varda, Valinor's bright queen,
Her eyes shone like Sil-maaa-rils, or like stars in the heavens
Her cheeks were like roses, or like blood drops in snow.

It was her cruel parents that first caused our variance
Because she is rich and above my degree
But I'll do my endeavour to gain my love's favour
Though her father demands one of Feee-anor's gems.

My name's son of Barahir, a name that Orcs fear
And if I had companions I'd have never have roamed
But scouting and thieving, night raiding and reaving
Were the cause of my ruin and the loss o' my home.

O, had I the riches that's in the West Havens
I'd put rings on her fingers and gold at her feet
And there in the midst of that Doriath glade
In innocent splendour I'd live with my love.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Cowell has exams hence Cowell shall not be active for a while. Apologies to all those who have been benifiting from his precise judgements.

[The Only Real Estel]

Well as usual I’m Estel and, since I am not as well versed in ballads as Anguirel , I had very few to choose from.

So I went with one of Valesse's examples: "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes. This is a play on that one entitled "The Bolsterman" (yes, the same bolsterman that Nob fashioned as a sacrifice for Frodo in the Prancing Pony ), sung in the voice of Aragorn, because he knew all the songs didn't he?


PART ONE
I (I)

The wind was a stormy gale among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly white, unchanged by the forceful breeze,,
The inn was as quite as a mouse, with hardly even a snore,,
And the bolsterman was lying—
Lying—lying—
The bolsterman was lying, as they came up to the old inn door.

II (II)

He'd a woolen brown mat for his "head," a bunch of blanket at his "chin,"
A comforter of the greatest comfort, and a bit bunched up at the end;
In the sky was nary a twinkle: it seemed a good night to die.
He lay without causing a wrinkle,
The stars still held back their twinkle,
As the wraiths began to slink(le?)*, under the veiled sky.

III (III)

Over the cobbles they cautiously crept in the dark inn-yard,
And they tapped with their fists on the windows, but all was locked and barred;
They glared darkly at the window, and what should happen then
But a single blow to the window,
Just a single blow to the window,
A stealthy blow to the window and then, the window was now forced in.

IV (V)

"All right, my fellow servants. We're after a prize tonight,,
But we shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press us sharply, and harry us, causing a fray,
Then look for It by moonlight,
Watch for It by moonlight,
We'll come to It by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

PART TWO

I (II)


They said no word to the landlord, they just climbed in instead,
But they saw the helpless hobbit - looking fast asleep in his bed;
Two of them knelt at the casement, with drawn swords at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For the bolsterman could see, that now turning was the tide.

II (III)

They had circled the bed with intention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had found a jacket beside the bed, with a 'Baggins' sewed on the breast!
"Now, keep it secret!" they hissed to him.
He heard the dead men say—
Look for It by moonlight;
Watch for It by moonlight;
We'll come to It by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

III (VII)

Clink-clink, in the frosty silence! Clink-clink, in the echoing night!
Nearer they crept and nearer! Their swords were a pale light!
His eyes grew wide for a moment; he drew one last deep breath,
Then the figures moved in the moonlight,
Their sword thrusts shattered the moonlight,
Shattered the bolster in the moonlight and slashed him—intending death.

IV (VIII)

They turned; they looked upon the bed; they knew it was not Baggins who lay
Still, with his "head" upon the pillow, slashed with their own dark swords!
Not till the light shown in, their faces turned on his form
And saw the bolsterman they'd "slaughtered,"
The bolsterman they'd thought they'd slaughtered,
He'd taken Baggin's place in the moonlight, and "died" in the darkness there.

IX

Now, they screeched like madmen, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the bolsterman lying before them, and moonlight to see him by!
They climbed from the room in the waning night; denied their chance to gloat,
And they shot down the lane on their way,
Down like lightening on the lane,
And he lay in his bed in the inn, with tatters of blanket at his throat.

* * * * * *

X

And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly white, unchanged by the forceful breeze,
When the inn is quite as a mouse, with hardly even a snore,
A bolsterman is lying—
Lying—lying—
A bolsterman is lying, playing his role evermore.

XI

Over the cobbles they may cautiously creep, in the dark inn-yard,
They tap with their fists on the windows, but all is locked and barred;
A dark glare at the window, and what should happen then
But a single blow to the window,
Just a single blow to the window,
A stealthy blow to the window and then, the window is forced in.

And the bolsterman lies within.

*Yes, I am aware that there is no such word as "slinkle."

[Celuien]

This is a ballad sung by Finduilas as Turin is deaf to her cries for help. It's based on a traditional ballad out of Kentucky that has become somewhat more famous in recent years...

I am a maid of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all my days.
I bid farewell to old Nargothrond
The place where I dwelt many days.
(The place where she dwelt many days.)

For many long years I've been in trouble
No love from you have I found
Now comes Glaurung, and you've been spellbound
I have no friends to help me now.

(chorus) She has no friends to help her now

It's fare thee well my own true love
I never expect to see you again
For I'm bound to end in curséd Angband
I'll die before you come again.

(chorus) She'll die before you come again.

You can bury me in some green mound
For many years where I may lay
Then you may learn to love another
While I am sleeping in my grave.

(chorus) While she is sleeping in her grave.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Valesse

The deadline is July 1st. Have fun!

Ai! I ain't gonna make it. If you could extend it a day or so, I would be grateful. If not, I'm outta here.

[littlemanpoet]

Greetings. I give you a perspective not often given. This is a song by Bobsegerdil, Burn the Mage.

{Sauron mulls it over}
In this tall and loathsome tower, east of Gorgoroth
You can hear the tortured prisoners moaning their lone song
You think about the Baggins who has your Ring; him it will cost.
But your thoughts begin their wandering, the way they always do.
When you're searching untold hours and you hope it won't be long.
And you don't see much of anything, you just wish you've finally won through.
You say, here I am, the Dark Lord again. There I am, lord of the age.
Here I go, Dark Lord again.
There I go. Burn the mage.
Well you see into a palantir, stung by the one on the road,
You can feel his eyes upon you as he shows his new-forged blade
You pretend it doesnt bother you, but you just want to explode.
Most times you ignore their talk, other times you don't.
Oh the same old battle, will they never bow to your command?
They always say you're too strong, then they still make a stand.
Here I am, the Dark Lord again. There I am, lord of the age.
Here I go, Dark Lord again.
There I go. Burn that mage.
Out there beyond Mordor you're a miles and miles away,
Every ounce of will, they use against you all day,
As the Ring wears down Baggins' body with the torture that you play.
Later in the darkness as you watch with lidless eye,
With the echo from the torturers singing like a sigh,
You stoke the fires of Mount Doom, fearing hidden lore.
Now here I am, Dark Lord again. There I am, lord of the age.
Here I go. Dark Lord again.
There I go. Burn the mage.
Here I am, Dark Lord again. There I am, lord of the age.
Ah here I go, Dark Lord again.
There I go. Burn that mage!
************************************************** *********************
On a long and lonesome highway, east of omaha.
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song
You can think about woman, or the girl you knew the night before,
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do.
When your riding sixteen hours and theres nothing much to do
And you dont feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through.
Say, here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Well you walk into a restaurant, strung out from the road,
You can feel the eyes upon you as your shaking off the cold
You pretend it doesnt bother you, but you just want to explode.
Most times you cant hear em talk, other times you can.
Oh the same old cliche, as that woman on her a man
You always see my number, you dont dare make a stand.
Here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Out there in the spotlight your a million miles away,
Every ounce of energy, you try and give away,
As the sweat pours out your body like the music that you play.
Later in the evening as you lie awake in bed,
With the echo from the amplifiers ringing in your head,
You smoke the days last cigarette, remembering what she said.
Now here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Ah here I go, playing star again.
There I go, there I go.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

Ai! I ain't gonna make it. If you could extend it a day or so, I would be grateful. If not, I'm outta here.

Consider it extended.

[Gurthang]

It's Gurthang, yet again, making another appearance to just try to become Middle-Earth's Idol. After Googling "ballads" to get a feel for what they were, I set out to find one that I liked. I came across one by Alexi Murdoch titled All My Days. The lyrics are almost entirely unaltered; I only felt the need to change one word. So I'll be singing in the voice of Aragorn, and here we go:

Well I have been searching all of my days
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I’ve been walking on
All of my days
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it’s just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It’s you I’m looking for
All of my days
Soon I’ll smile
I know I’ll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems you've found me
And it’s coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
It’s even breathing
Feels all right