What do you assign to Mordor?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

To tag on to pretentious pronunciation... pretentious use of silent letters.

My old history teacher had a silent "t" in his name. I mean... who has a silent "t"? Silent vowels are forgivable, but when you enter the domain of not pronouncing a very obvious consonant... that's just too much.

[Holbytlass]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

pretentious pronunciations of foreign language words and phrases. I mean those delivered with a particularly heavy, comedic French/Italian/Spanish 'accent' which the speaker so clearly belives is the correct and cultured thing to do.

*chuckles* I second this. A couple nights ago I ate at The Olive Garden, for those who don't know it's a "fancy" ( envision the hand signal) italian restaurant where the the menu headings and items are in Italian. It had me stumped because I wasn't sure if I should say 'Ravioli de Portobello' or just Portobello Ravioli. Maybe I should have gone to my southern hick roots and said, 'heeyuckheeyuck i wants sum fungus stuffed pillows, pulees!'


And the sitcom, Seinfeld , where George's girlfriend who said paper mache as papia mashia.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

To tag on to pretentious pronunciation... pretentious use of silent letters.

My old history teacher had a silent "t" in his name. I mean... who has a silent "t"? Silent vowels are forgivable, but when you enter the domain of not pronouncing a very obvious consonant... that's just too much.

You have run headlong into the history of language. Names, especially place-names, are especially notorious for containing letters that once were, but are no longer, pronounced. This is nobody's fault, but it is the fault of the human language apparatus, namely, the tongue. The human tongue is basically a lazy thing, and insists on finding the easiest way around the words it wants to "spit out". Thus, through, for example, is no longer said with an asperated (as in clearing one's throat) "gh"; so now the letters are "silent". So if to Mordor such silent letters go, so does the history of language itself, and the human tongue to boot! (eewww!) Just imagine all over Mordor, human tongues hopping around, finding the easiest way to say words.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by lmp

You have run headlong into the history of language. Names, especially place-names, are especially notorious for containing letters that once were, but are no longer, pronounced.

I like names which are pronounced peculiarly. Some strange examples:

Towcester - Pron. toaster
Featherstonehaugh - Pron. fanshaw
Culzean - Pron. cullaine
and Oughtibridge which you can pronounce any of the following ways: owtybridge, ootybridge, oatybridge, ortybridge.

It does amuse me when people have a name that's a bit rude or funny and they pronounce it differently so as not to look daft though. Although for obvious reasons with this being a family forum an' all I can't repeat said names here. I say, be proud of your daft name!

[Lathriel]

Mosquitos should be send to Mordor. The other day one got me right on my forehead! GRRR

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I agree about mosquitoes, but I'd also like to ship out black flies and water that accidentally gets inhaled when you're messing around in the pool. Yeah... oops.

[Orominuialwen]

I would like to send the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) to Mordor. For anyone who has never experienced the horrors contained there, the DMV is a place where you are forced to take a number and wait for long periods of time, thus extending an errand which should have taken 45 minutes at the most into more than 1 1/2 hours (which is relatively short for the DMV), nearly making you late for someplace else you have to be. Plus, a whole lot of the people who work there are really grumpy.

[Elonve]

pimples and facial spots should be sent to mordor...
________
Mature Cams

[the guy who be short]

Excess phlegm.

I have nothing against phlegm when it does its job - in fact, I fully support it. Quite handy, really. However, when that phlegm multiplies and starts trying to escape the body through various facial orifices, the excess should surely be sent to Mordor.

By hindsight, I should probably have put some sort of warning before I wrote that.

[littlemanpoet]

Eeeeeeew! If ever if ever there's an rpg, just you watch out, Guy

Elonve's addition creates a pretty interesting possibility too.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

Excess phlegm.

I have nothing against phlegm when it does its job - in fact, I fully support it. Quite handy, really. However, when that phlegm multiplies and starts trying to escape the body through various facial orifices, the excess should surely be sent to Mordor.

By hindsight, I should probably have put some sort of warning before I wrote that.

I just got a big kick out of that, since I can sympathize. I'm going to bundle it all up and simply send allergies and all of their varied symptoms to Mordor. When you go outside and your eyes (due to allergies, and regardless of heavy black shades) scream at the sunlight saying "Let's just KILL Fea because it's fun"... it meant that I had a perfectly reasonable excuse to lay on my couch, in the air conditioning, eating Ben and Jerry's, and watching The Princess Diaries II. On second thought, maybe I'll keep my light sensitive eyes for times like those.

On a side note, TGWBS, have you read the latest Harry Potter? I believe one of the chapters is called An Excess of Phlegm. Just found that ironic.... And LMP, we really should get an RP going on that. Can you only imagine?

Oh... migraines. Migraines go to Mordor.

[the guy who be short]

I've already sent all illness to Mordor, but I'm experiencing excess phlegm at the moment. And I can sympathise with sending allergies to Mordor - I've had allergic conjunctivitis for almost a year now.

I just bought the new H-P book and haven't looked through it. How cool.

*TGWBS tries to think of something on topic*

Um... the lack of that RPG should be sent to Mordor! Even though I don't RPG... Presuming RPG can be used as a verb...

*TGWBS once again tries to get on topic*

When you really like a thread but can't think of anything to say! To Mordor!

[littlemanpoet]

The rpg request is in process. I will not and cannot say more, because I don't really know any more than that. If it doesn't work out, I'll be bummed but there's always werewolf.

Oh, and getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf can go to Mordor, right, Eomer? Kath? I can't <ahem> personally relate, but I do sympathize. <ahem>

[Kath]

Oh, and getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf can go to Mordor, right, Eomer? Kath?

Absolutely agreed. And on that note I would like to send the role of Ranger to Mordor as when not in that role I do OK!

[Encaitare]

Adware, and pop-up ads, and all those nasty things that don't belong on my computer. Go away!

I'd like to send all errant pronunciations of the name "Bach" to Mordor. Some people say the ch as a k, others as that little back-of-the-throat noise (no idea what to call it, but you get the idea, I hope), and a few leave it off entirely and, like a sheep, say "Baa". So I say we pick one and be done with it.

[littlemanpoet]

I assign the bad email software that messed up my computer, resisted scans, and finally caused my home computer to crash. Take that, Thunderbird!

[Kath]

I would like to assign geography teachers to Mordor. Especially ones who decide that in the last 2 weeks of term they are going to set you 6 pieces of work between two of them, each of which had to be at least 3 pages long (and one 25 page thing too!). So I think they should go to Mordor and be forced to do it all!

[Lhunardawen]

I'm sorry Kath, but I would not even think of sending my Geography prof to Mordor. He thinks checking exam papers is a lot of work so he does not give much exams. It is fairly easy to get a high final grade in his class...at least he makes us believe so. But he is a bit boring, so I'll have to think about that.

(There. My study ethics laid bare for everyone to see. )

Have you ever had the feeling that you really want to reply to a certain thread but can't seem to properly organize your thoughts, especially in the Books? I send that to Mordor.

[Elonve]

If i may say so i would like to send Pineapple and MSG to Mordor...

pineapple because i am allergic !
________
Coach purses

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I banish now and forever more to Mordor...

Rumor-mongering.

Sure I love to be the center of attention, but I prefer it for things that I've actualy done.

Also criticism. I love criticism, but I much prefer it when it is to me, not about me. If you've got a problem with me or my work, tell me. Don't refer to me with expletives to my mother! Yeah... who does that?

And, yet again to Mordor, sun burn. What is it with me forgetting sunblock?!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Is it true about Sauron? That he's crashing at Isengard for the moment because Mordor sucks so badly!

By the way lmp, that tongue thing was hilarious! Maybe the tongues have been sent to do battle with Sauron's finger and it's army. I would love to see that.

[Lathriel]

I just read HP (finished it too) and there is indeed a chapter called an Excess of Phlegm. Its very funny when you learn who phlegm is.

Flies should be sent to Mordor. And I think Sauron should go back there too. He is not allowed to crash in Isengard because Isengard is too good for him.

[Orominuialwen]

I would like to send the use of adjectives in place of adverbs. I'm so sick of hearing/ reading this. It especially bugs me in things like radio/TV commercials, where the script really should have been proofread better.

[Encaitare]

And misused homophones should go two Mordor; their so annoying! I was so miffed to find won in the knew HP book -- I wish people would pay more attention too what they right!

[THE Ka]

Okay, this happend today, so it will immediately be assigned...

Slipping on garbage left by others in streets... Please people, pick up your old food! It can be made into compost, thus making pretty, pretty plants that might or, might not smell as bad as your waste!

Sorry, it took place today, and then I thought about this wonderful thread devouted to such things in case they do happen.

~ Ka

[Dimturiel]

What do I assign to Mordor? First of all my French theacher. She is really EVIL-actually we call here Sauron's wife - and she's ignorant as well. Once we had an essay about a famous person and I wrote about Tolkien, of course . And she asked me where on earth did I get that being from( her exact words). I felt like slapping her. I also assign to Mordor all those girls that claim to be LOTR fans just because of Legolas. I had one in my house yesterday and I got tired of her saying that Legolas is the most important person in LOTR just because he is the cutest.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by THE Ka

Slipping on garbage left by others in streets... Please people, pick up your old food! It can be made into compost, thus making pretty, pretty plants that might or, might not smell as bad as your waste!

I ran over a liquor bottle which busted under my tire and slashed it. Grrrr. To Mordor with litter! And litterbugs.

What a mess Mordor is turning into.......

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by LMP

What a mess Mordor is turning into.......

Has anybody noticed that the more disgusting and foul a place we turn Mordor into, the happier LMP seems to get? Odd, no...? You'd think there was some conspiracy afoot...

Speaking of which, ridiculous conspiracy theorists should go to Mordor, as should their ridiculous conspiracy theories.

[littlemanpoet]

Of course I'm happy! I've received provisional approval to start up the "Assigned To Mordor" rpg, at some not too distant, not too soon, time in the (relatively near) future. There, enough chronological qualifications for you? It's going to have to wait until a few other things are taken care of, like a werewolf game, and a rather slowly developing Numenor game, ... not to mention a trip to England in September, so don't hold your breath. We're gonna do this right!

[THE Ka]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

Has anybody noticed that the more disgusting and foul a place we turn Mordor into, the happier LMP seems to get? Odd, no...? You'd think there was some conspiracy afoot...

Speaking of which, ridiculous conspiracy theorists should go to Mordor, as should their ridiculous conspiracy theories.

I think Little Man Poet is just happy to see Mordor reaching it's fullest capabilities... And with everything going into it, I would not be surprised if it resembled a modern-day garbage dump of both physical and mental attributes.

Now I feel like an ultra-consumer, agghh...


~ Ka

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

I ran over a liquor bottle which busted under my tire and slashed it. Grrrr. To Mordor with litter! And litterbugs.

To Mordor those who spill such draughts, wantonly!

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by lmp

Of course I'm happy! I've received provisional approval to start up the "Assigned To Mordor" rpg, at some not too distant, not too soon, time in the (relatively near) future. There, enough chronological qualifications for you? It's going to have to wait until a few other things are taken care of, like a werewolf game, and a rather slowly developing Numenor game, ... not to mention a trip to England in September, so don't hold your breath. We're gonna do this right!

How naive of me. All along I thought the whole RPG thing was a joke.

EDIT: Please don't volunteer yourselves to play. I'm going to PM various individuals who I think will help me develop a really enjoyable first run, and not until I'm ready to.

Of course, our beloved Saucepan Man should not be left out; after all, he himself is now firmly ensconced in Mordor, as he said.

Now, now, what to send to Mordor...

Those nagging thoughts that seem too irrelevant at the moment, but afterwards you will realize you should have listened to. *mournful sigh*

[Alphaelin]

Bullies should absolutely be sent to Mordor, along with lima beans and most bugs.

And rabbits!!! They are the most evil breed of mammal known to humanity, hobbitry and elfdom...devouring entire flower gardens overnight...killing shrubs with their incessant gnawing. The evil evil bunnies should all be sent to Mordor!

**stops to ponder**

Actually, considering the miniscule amount of healthy plant growth in Mordor, it seems that the Evil Bunnies have already overrun the place.

[Elonve]

Quadratic Function ! erk! everything but add,subtract,multiply,divide should be sent to mordor....
________
Asian Cam

[the guy who be short]

But without complex mathematics, we wouldn't have fast planes or cars! And engineering, and life insurance! And architecture! And...

Teachers who don't make maths interesting and explain it properly should go to Mordor instead.

~The Guy Who Be A Maths Freakoid

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

How naive of me. All along I thought the whole RPG thing was a joke.

Nope, lmp is purdy gungho about it. He asked me about putting it in Rohan, but I suggested that, since most of the people who have posted here don't have Rohan gaming rights, perhaps he should approach the Shire mods. We'll have to bide our time and see what comes up.

[Firefoot]

I ban sports physicals to Mordor - $40 dollars (or more!) for 10 minutes of a doctor's time to say I'm healthy. And while it only takes 10 minutes of a doctor's time, it takes an hour and a half of my time.

And people who give away spoilers to books and movies without warning you. It's happened to me on both the 5th and 6th HP books. I haven't even read the 6th and I already know who the Half-blood Prince is. Grr...

[Encaitare]

I haven't even read the 6th and I already know who the Half-blood Prince is. Grr...

It's really not that big of a deal -- there are worse spoilers that could be leaked...

I therefore condemn to Mordor unnecessary aspects of plot! (the esteemed Mr. Bombadil excluded, of course )

[the guy who be short]

Oh, and Balrog Wingers should go straight to Mordor for perverting Truth with their lies, of course...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Psychics. They should go to Mordor.

Not the harmless old fraud kind, but the good ones. The ones that say or do things entirely unexplainable and make die-hard cynics such as Feanor of the Peredhil question her beliefs. The ones that know the names of the guys she's about to say before she says them. The ones that make a pair of sunglasses flop around on a floor like a fish out of water. The ones that scare the living [expletive deleted] out of said die-hard cynics.

Also to go to Mordor are college placement tests. Sure they were obscenely easy and all, but stressful nonetheless, especially first thing in the morning after you were up until 2:00 AM talking to your temporary room-mate and new friend about the actions and reactions of Severus Snape (and how Rickman is such a great pick for him), Albus Dumbledore (who's new portrayer seems a little nuttier than the old), Draco Malfoy (who's too cute in the movie to hate as much as you do in the books), Ron and Hermione (who don't we all just love?) and Harry (and his love life).

And last but n'er least, off to Mordor with having to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold.