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11-12-2005, 10:05 PM | #2321 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately the spirit animating Tolkien's body really was a demon.
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
11-13-2005, 02:59 AM | #2322 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2002
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Fortunately, the demon wasn't all that evil and actually came from the REAL Middle Earth, to tell everyone that it existed, not at all so they would go and find it and release the evil from ME into their own world *shifty eyes*.
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11-13-2005, 06:54 AM | #2323 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In a world grown ever smaller.
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Unfortunatley, for this demon guy, tom bombadil was there, and he wasn't devoured by evil squirrles. and he told that demon to head on out, and he had to do it.
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11-13-2005, 11:16 PM | #2324 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, this was all going on in a parallel universe, and Tolkien was not really dead and possesed in our own one.
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Gone for lentSeeyou at Easter! (And on Sundays too, maybe.)
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11-13-2005, 11:40 PM | #2325 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: At the Double-Cross Ranch
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Unfortunately, evil squirrels ran amuck in this universe also!
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*** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? *** |
11-14-2005, 12:36 AM | #2326 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, by doing so, the squrriels stopped an uprising of reticulated playtipi who were bent on destroying all knowledge of fantasy novels, Middle Earth... and kalimari.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-14-2005, 12:50 AM | #2327 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)
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Unfortunately, the skwerls decided to make cheese and sausage illegal, which led to armed conflict between them and the hobbits.
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Gone for lentSeeyou at Easter! (And on Sundays too, maybe.)
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11-14-2005, 12:56 AM | #2328 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately enough, the hobbits grew some small backbones and rebelled by making sausage out of the opressive squrriels so that they might openly display their dietary-directed upperhand.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-14-2005, 01:30 AM | #2329 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
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Unfortunately . . .
. . . swerl meat causes indigestion.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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11-14-2005, 06:15 AM | #2330 |
Laconic Loreman
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Fortunately the Minas Tirith pharmacies were overstocked with Pepto Bismol and decided to just hand it out to anyone with indigestion.
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11-14-2005, 11:35 AM | #2332 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
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Fortunately, the poison was only deadly to iguanas.
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11-14-2005, 11:42 AM | #2333 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately many of the hobbits had pet iguanas and their passsing was detrimental to... said... hobbits.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-14-2005, 01:43 PM | #2334 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Fortunately, hobbits had killed all the skerwls by this point. and they were selling the skwerly sausage to the urka-hai adn not even eating it themselves. so the skwerls remained unavenged...
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
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11-14-2005, 05:43 PM | #2335 |
Wight
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Unfortunately, the Uruk-Hai didn't like the taste of the skwerly sausage, and so they killed all the hobbits.
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Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising 4 8 15 16 23 42 ~Proud Lostaway |
11-14-2005, 07:09 PM | #2336 |
Laconic Loreman
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Fortunately everyone knows Tolkien loved Hobbits and skwerls, so he scrapped everything and started anew..."In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..."
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11-14-2005, 07:29 PM | #2337 |
Odinic Wanderer
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Unfortunately, he starte thinking: What is a hobbit? and never got any further. . .
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11-14-2005, 08:00 PM | #2338 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, though he hadn't had as many grammatical lessons, Hilary Tolkien not only answered what a hobbit was, he wrote the books instead of John!
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-14-2005, 08:29 PM | #2339 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Unforetunaltey, the manuscripts were lost in a huge mailroom. they became the center of a huge urban legend conserning teh lost manuscripts of hilary tolkien. they serfaced a few years ago, but were reportedly lost in a burglery along with an oridginal tolkien manuscript supposedly titled "balrogs do not have wings (im pretty sure)"
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
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11-14-2005, 08:30 PM | #2340 |
Energetic Essence
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Fortunately, Tolkien's spirit came back and rescued them.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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11-14-2005, 08:33 PM | #2341 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Unfortunately, after reading them, he desided he liked his version better and burned them.
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night! |
11-14-2005, 08:45 PM | #2342 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
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The things you can get from watching too much Star Trek...
Fortunately, this changed the timeline so that there was no Barrow-Downs, meaning that this thread did not exist, so Tolkien did write everythig he was supposed to. This led to the Barrow-Downs being formed, meaning that this thread existed, so...
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11-14-2005, 09:39 PM | #2343 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Unfortunately
...chaos ensued since it is a written law of the universe that "*Star Trek Must Lose."
(Ah, good ol' Grudge Match.)
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"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
11-14-2005, 09:46 PM | #2344 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: At the Double-Cross Ranch
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Fortunately, all laws of the universe are written in disappearing ink!
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*** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? *** |
11-15-2005, 12:55 AM | #2345 |
Alive without breath
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Unfortunately, the part about Gandalf the grey being uncloaked was written (by Saruman on April fools day) in permanent ink.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-15-2005, 01:18 AM | #2346 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)
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Fortunately, Tolkien got rid of this unspeakable horror with some handy white-out.
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Gone for lentSeeyou at Easter! (And on Sundays too, maybe.)
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11-15-2005, 02:28 AM | #2347 |
Scion of The Faithful
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Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
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Unfortunately . . .
. . . he ran out of white out before he can erase 'Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.'
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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11-15-2005, 03:12 AM | #2348 |
Odinic Wanderer
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Fortunately, everybody loved Gandalf the Grey uncloaked
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11-15-2005, 05:56 AM | #2349 |
Laconic Loreman
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Unfortunately, Tolkien's Editors burned it and forced him to start over.
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11-15-2005, 11:26 AM | #2350 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately it was a very good revision which had nothing at all do to with squirriels, skwerls, Star Trek (though there were several similarities), iguanas, heart attacks, haunting-spirits-of-famous-authors, cannibalism, or sasparilla. Hilary Tolkien did not play any part of the making/publishing process and, furthermore the tittles of his "I"s were replaced by little hearts.
Overall it was well recepted by the public.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-15-2005, 12:49 PM | #2351 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Look, I'm over there!
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Unfortunately, the public all suddenly mysteriously dissappeared, leaving only the critics to comment.
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11-15-2005, 12:55 PM | #2352 |
Alive without breath
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Fortunately, they had all loved the revised Lord of the Rings and gave Mr Tolkien lots of gold.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-15-2005, 01:09 PM | #2354 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In a world grown ever smaller.
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Fortunatley, Tolkien didn't really mind. as a sensible man, he put chocolate before gold. plus the final revitions of his books were just in, and making him lots of money. plus he could always sell off them movie rights.
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night! |
11-15-2005, 09:35 PM | #2355 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: At the Double-Cross Ranch
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Unfortunately... due to the recent upsurge in lawyers fees caused by the recent upswing in squirrel violence; and with regards to iguana poisoning; and further more and so forth with chocolate theft; and yada yada yada with incomprehensible infections - all of the gold was gone!
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*** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? *** |
11-15-2005, 09:37 PM | #2356 |
Energetic Essence
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Fortunately, this was good because it meant one less thing for wars to start.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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11-15-2005, 09:41 PM | #2357 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately this meant that America couldn't go back to the gold standard.
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11-15-2005, 09:53 PM | #2358 |
Haunting Spirit
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Fortunately, the cheese standard was still available.
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*** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? *** |
11-15-2005, 10:04 PM | #2359 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately, for various reasons, cheese does not make a good currency.
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
11-15-2005, 10:22 PM | #2360 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately that frees up cheese to be one of the world's most digested milk product/ favorite sandwich (aka grilled cheese).
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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