Be careful what you wish for...

[Boromir88]

I wish that Tirion was really made of tuna.

Your wish is granted, but the Middle-earth diet consists of purely tuna, and it took so much Tuna to build Tirion, everyone ended up starving.

I wish Aragorn would take a bath for once

[Eorl of Rohan]

Originally Posted by Boromir88

I wish Aragorn would take a bath for once

Your wish is granted! Aragorn now takes a bath - on which, Bilbo sues Aragorn for infringing the copyright of his bath song. However, Aragorn puts pressure on the courtroom judges so that his request for a trial is denied. Bilbo in a fit of rage breaks into Aragorn's bath-chamber, and drowns him in soapy water while humming to the tune - Ho! For the warm bath at the End of Day(s)! Of course, his prediction is fulfilled.

I wish Gil-Galad would post after me. Yay! It happened.

EDIT: That way, everything works out quite well.

[Gil-Galad]

Originally Posted by Boromir88

I wish Aragorn would take a bath for once

your wish is granted. though after Aragorn took a bath, his ratings fell and he lost the gondor Idol title, ironically Gimli was second place so he became the new King of Gondor and married Arwen and had 3 beauitful childeren, Immanuel, Joespeh and Supa Fly.


I wish that the Elves were actually Santa's Little Elves

:Cross Posted... well go with mine cause its actually a wish :

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish that the Elves were actually Santa's Little Elves

Your wish is granted. Although, Feanor thinks that Santa is a tyrant and so raises up an army ageist him and there are no more toys for the Children. Well done.

I wish that Tom Bombadill would release an LP of his best songs.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish that Tom Bombadill would release an LP of his best songs.

Your wish is granted. Tom releases his recording and it is played over loudspeakers that can be heard from Harad to the Grey Havens 24 hours a day. Unfortunately, the incessant ring-a-ding-dillos drive everyone within earshot to insanity, so the citizens of Middle-earth smash all copies of the recording and exile Tom to unknown lands in the East.

I wish Moria was an amusement park.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Moria was an amusement park.

Whoosh! Your wish is granted! However, due to Dwarves being hoarders rather than spenders of cash, most of the rides are incredibly dangerous and or unfinished. Five Hobbits, three elves, seven and a half men and two goblins die on the first day.

I wish that some Barrow Down’s merchandise were available in everyone’s local shop.

[Glirdan]

I wish that some Barrow Down’s merchandise were available in everyone’s local shop.

Your wish is granted. Everyone's local shop got mysteriously crowded with Barrow-Down's items. Because they mysteriously appeared there, they were shot out. But they kept coming back. Eventually, the UN decided to shut the Barrow-Downs and all of the members decided to rebel and we ended up ruling the world, B-W being the Supreme ruler.

I wish that Gil and phantom weren't so arrogant.

[ohtatyaro]

Your wish is granted

But they lose the ability to post, since they are afraid to hurt someones feelings. They both drop out of the thread and go to the monastery to spend the rest of their lives as monks...

I wish I had a mithril coat to wear under my jacket

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish I had a mithril coat to wear under my jacket

Granted and more! You have a mithril coat under your jacket. But your jacket is at the bottom of the ocean and you cant' get at it because of the sharks.

I wish that there were some good Dragons that could fight alongside the Gondorians and all the other good people.

[Anguirel]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish that there were some good Dragons that could fight alongside the Gondorians and all the other good people.

Done and done. But they still need feeding, and all the Hobbits are converted into farmed Dragon-provender for the benefit of the war against Sauron...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Erm, not making a wish, Anguirel? Do you not need anything?

[Anguirel]

Argh!

I wish I could remember the rules of this game properly...

That should do for now!

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

I wish I could remember the rules of this game properly...

Granted! But in remembering the rules to this game you forget the rules to everything else and are forced to post here and only here for the end of your days.

I wish Tolkien would come back from the dead to end this Balrog wing debate.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Tolkien would come back from the dead to end this Balrog wing debate.

Granted! But he is a zombie and goes after people saying "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrmmmmmssss" as apposed to "Brrrraaaaaiiiinnnssss! And no one can hear him say whether Balrogs have wings or not.

I wish Butterbur had sent the letter from Gandalf.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Butterbur had sent the letter from Gandalf.

Done. But he entrusted the letter to Pallando, who had returned from the East to drink ale in Bree. While drinking, he forgot all about the letter and brought it with him on his wanderings instead of delivering it. Frodo never received the letter, decided not to trust Strider and was eaten by Neekerbreekers while lost on the road to Rivendell.

I wish Sam and Gollum were best friends.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Celuien

I wish Sam and Gollum were best friends.

Consider it done. Sam and Gollum become the best of friends and Frodo becomes their third wheel. Sam and Gollum decide to open a resturant and they name it 'Fat and Sneaky's', all they serve is taters and raw fish. Frodo, tired of being left out, burns down the resturant and is thrown in jail forced to share a cell with the Mouth of Sauron.

I wish my eyebrows were like movie Elrond's.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish my eyebrows were like movie Elrond's.

With a ping and a pong the fiddle stick broke and the wish was granted!
However, they take on a life of their own and begin telling you to rob banks and steal taters. In the end you decide to rip them from your face and you spend the rest of time wandering the seas with no eyebrows.

I wish Gandalf's hat was more magical and contained a limitless supply of food!

[Eorl of Rohan]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Granted! But he is a zombie and goes after people saying "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrmmmmmssss" as apposed to "Brrrraaaaaiiiinnnssss! And no one can hear him say whether Balrogs have wings or not.

OFF TOPIC: Okay, I see the wish is granted! Tolkien says Arms instead of Brains - what does it mean? Balrogs did not have wings, they had arms! The case is finished!

I wish Gandalf's hat was more magical and contained a limitless supply of food!

ON TOPIC: It now contains a limitless supply of food. However, the rules of the nature are not changed, so the weight of the limitless supply of food crushes Gandalf's head like eggshell and therefore Saruman dances in his grave.

I wish that Boromir was more vividly portrayed in the book.

[ohtatyaro]

Your wish is granted. Boromir is most vividly portrayed man in the book. But than, nobody seems to remember Frodo or the Ring or that old fellow, forgot the name, you know, one with the beard and always teaching others what to do, that fiery thing in that Moria place got him. How many others there were besides Boromir, you say? I mean, everyone will just quit reading after Boromir is dead, so nobody will know what happened next, but noone will give a penny to know that anyways...

I wish I had a pony named Bill

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Remember to quote the wish you are granting!!!!!

The "Arms" thing came from a joke running in my family. Zombies in modern films don't say "brains!" like they did on old ones, but just groan. Their groans sometimes sound like "arms!"

Anyway,

I wish I had a pony named Bill

Your wish is granted. But due to Gandalf asking for your wish in writing, you accidentally write "Phoney" and so he gets confused and turns you into an old man called John, who just calls himself Bill.

I wish that Beren had taken two Silmarills!

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish that Beren had taken two Silmarills!

Your wish is granted. But Beren loses both arms to Carcharoth.

I wish that Tolkien had finished The New Shadow.

[ohtatyaro]

I wish that Tolkien had finished The New Shadow.

Your wish is granted

But it turns out that the book is more interesting for movie-making then LoTR is- I mean, political strife, revolution, that kind of thing. Peter Jackson is not filming the trilogy, but goes for the New Shadow insted, which turns out to be ordinary conspiracy movie. No oscars, no renown. As a result, people like me are not turned to Tolkien and the Barrow-Downs remains small place. Since it is small, no such topic as this one is made, no one wishes that New Shadow was finished, so it is no finished, no one films it, Jackson films LoTR, the board swells, the topic is made, you wish for it, it is filmed, BD again is small.... a-a-a-a, Time Circle!

I wish Isildur had a light-saber

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by ohtatyaro

I wish Isildur had a light-saber

Going along with the 'time-circle' theme here ... your wish is granted, but than, Narsil is not broken, Sauron is beaten there and then and the Ring is melted by the heat of the lazer. End of story - no Lord of the Rings books (not to mention movies) - no BarrowDowns - no lightsabers - story is written again and so forth (same principle). Story in circle, closed upon itself again

I wish Frodo had a helicopter

[Eorl of Rohan]

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

I wish Frodo had a helicopter

Great, Frodo now has a helicopter! After volunteering at Elrond's council, he immediately makes use of it to fly up to the top of Mount Doom, drops the ring into the pit of fire, and then there's no story and therefore no Barrow-Downs and therefore this thread does not exist, and therefore there are too many therefores so that the subscription for this non-existent thread becomes immensely valuable to the eyes of crazy barrow-downers and collectors.

My dog wishes that she could eat lembas.

PS. She's currently nosing me for food.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Eorl of Rohan

My dog wishes that she could eat lembas.

Granted. But it cannot eat anything else. If it does it explodes. And as there is no lembas in the world... you get the idea.

I wish Hobbits kept Oliphants as pets.

[Gothmog]

I wish Hobbits kept Oliphants as pets.

Your wish is granted! Problem is Oliphants are VERY big. Because Hobbits love their new pets so much, they always play with them and after a couple of days, the whole Shire is trashed by galloping Oliphants running after sticks while enthusiastic halflings shout "Fetch, fetch! Good boy! Here you are, ten barrels of apples..." So no more Shire!

I wish Frodo and Sam started a rock band

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by Gothmog

I wish Frodo and Sam started a rock band

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, neither has more than vague idea what exactly 'rock band' actually is. Assuming it must be relatively numerous group of people throwing stones, they form one. Since they are strictly forbidden by the Thain to throw stones at hobbits, they come into habit of haunting highways to practice on passing dwarves and 'big folk'. As a result, Shire is renamed into Sherwood and its borders closed by royal decree #72 'about highway robbers in the North-West of our country'. Following decline in trade leads to splitting up of the Shire as a state. Hobbits are scattered, and 'far less numerous and prosperous' by the time of publication of The Hobbit

I wish Gandalf was muscular and Conan-barbarian-like rather than robed, and had a marine tattoo

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Gandalf was muscular and Conan-barbarian-like rather than robed, and had a marine tattoo

Planted and granted. But when he uncloaks, no one notices and so he gets upset and weeps endlessly till he falls into the sea and never helps Frodo and the Black Riders take the Ring!

I wish Dwarves' moustaches were made of iron.

[Anguirel]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Planted and granted. But when he uncloaks, no one notices and so he gets upset and weeps endlessly till he falls into the sea and never helps Frodo and the Black Riders take the Ring!

I wish Dwarves' moustaches were made of iron.

Granted. But the iron is strongly magnetic and Dwarf armies become rather an odd sight, with eskimo kissing rife...

I wish my larder was as well stocked as Bag End's.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

I wish my larder was as well stocked as Bag End's.

It is done! But it is stocked with stolen goods and you are arrested and thrown to the Trolls!

I wish the Nazgûl went onto solo careers.

[Gothmog]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish the Nazgûl went onto solo careers.

Kazaam! I am the Genie of the Lamp and...what the heck, your wish is granted (two to go).
Only Witchking of Angmar and Khamul have any succesful careers though. Because nobody knows what the others names are, they're soon forgotten. The 7 forgotten ringwraiths decides that it would be better to gather the old crew again, but the two other doesn't find this very tempting. They're making big money on their own, so a bitter feud starts. It all ends with a devastating battle which ruins Minas Morgul and nobody's sorry for that. It was kind of a dump anyway...


I wish Saruman had a facelift and an extreme makeover

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Gothmog

I wish Saruman had a facelift and an extreme makeover

POOF! Your wish is granted. Saruman has a complete makeover. Thus becoming far more beautiful then Legolas. In his jealous rage Legolas shoots Saruman with his arrows, reclaiming his title as prettiest in Middle-Earth. Unfortunately while he was trying to stop Saruman Aragorn took a bath and was crowned most beautiful.

I wish Theoden never died.

[The 1,000 Reader]

I wish Theoden never died.

Granted. Eowyn is killed in his place, thus allowing the Morgul Lord to survive and cause large amounts of damage on the battlefield and lead the orcs of Minas Morgul to victory. The Witch-King is slain when the ring is destroyed, however, since Eru took pity for the hobbits.

I wish the Eye of Sauron could see better.

[Eorl of Rohan]

Ooh, my darling puppy imploded! +goes after Hook with a knife+

I wish the eye of Sauron could see better

Your wish is granted! Eye of Sauron now reaches past the infinite stretch of the universe, in fact, he sees everything, so much that the receiver for sensory perceptions are flooded with images so much that it is impossible for him to remember anything he sees for more than a second.

I wish Hurin was the one who said 'Now comes the night'.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Hurin was the one who said 'Now comes the night'.

Okay. Hurin is now Turin. And Turin is now Hurin. Everyone gets confused and goes for a little sit down.

I wish the Valar would have delta with Melkor earlier.

[Glirdan]

I wish the Valar would have delta with Melkor earlier.

WISH GRANTED!!! The Valar dealt with him sooner, so soon he wasn't able to convince Sauron to join him and that meant there was only one great evil.

I wish that we lived in M-E during the War of the Rings

[Eorl of Rohan]

Originally Posted by Glirdan

I wish that we lived in M-E during the War of the Rings

Granted. We all now live in Middle-East during the War of the Rings, and as it did not take place in Middle East, we miss out on all the fun, and as we can't read arabic, and don't have any money for airplane fare, we never get to read LOTR again.

I wish Aragorn was immortal.

[The Elf-warrior]

Originally Posted by Eorl of Rohan

I wish Aragorn was immortal.

Your wish is granted. But the reason why he was immortal was because he had the One Ring and became a wraith.

I wish Turin hadn't killed Beleg.

[HerenIstarion]

I wish Turin hadn't killed Beleg

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything more unfortunate that what befell Turin afterwards, so all ended well. At least, better than it actually did.


I wish Ar-Pharazon had a diving suit and, sea scooter and fuel supply to last him for several thousand nautical miles

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Ar-Pharazon had a diving suit and, sea scooter and fuel supply to last him for several thousand nautical miles.

Granted! But he forgets to wear them when he does diving and subsequently drowns.

I wish Bilbo had done more fighting in the Battle of five armies.