What do you assign to Mordor? - Page 40 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Feanor of the Peredhil · 09-20-2006, 09:50 AM

Accidentally reading a dozen or so pages of this:"Well," seyde Sir Epynogrys, "syth that ye loved La Beall Isode, loved she ever you agayne by onythynge that ye cowde wyte, othir ellys ded ye ever rejoyse her in ony plesure?"

Instead of a dozen or so pages of this:

So it misfortuned Sir Gawain and all his brethren were in King Arthur's chamber, and then Sir Agravain said thus openly, and not in no counsel, that many knights might here...

Mithalwen · 09-20-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Ah, so the roots of Jeffrey Archer's problems have been revealed!

I did find the concept of shared bathrooms a bit odd. It's something I have no trouble with on a temporary basis, due to childhoods on campsites, but the thought of it long term seems weird; maybe those of us who have been to boarding schools feel much more at home with the idea than us comprehensive kids used to our private toilets complete with luxury Andrex and stack of newpapers (for Dad)?

.

Well Jeffrey Archer didn't actually go to boarding school - I rather think that was one of the creative amendments to his CV - and my Pa was warned to be wary of Mr Jeffrey Rat when he was in practice in Oxford forty years ago....

Well my state school had the "Bronco" style grease proof paper type paper with "Hampshire County council Now wash your hands " printed on it .... now that was something that belonged in Mordor ..

Lalwendë · 09-20-2006, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Well Jeffrey Archer didn't actually go to boarding school - I rather think that was one of the creative amendments to his CV - and my Pa was warned to be wary of Mr Jeffrey Rat when he was in practice in Oxford forty years ago....

Well my state school had the "Bronco" style grease proof paper type paper with "Hampshire County council Now wash your hands " printed on it .... now that was something that belonged in Mordor ..

Well there's two things for Mordor anyway! Jeffrey Archer and Izal toilet paper. Funny how certain things never seem to stick to either....

I'm assigning to Mordor irrational fear of getting pecked by birds. I've been in Bakewell today and was feeding some geese and swans right out of my hands. Um, how can people think they could hurt you when they have spoon shaped beaks? The one of the bigger geese came up and decided he was going to hiss at me for some unknown bird reason, prompting me to stand there saying "go on then, tough guy, let's see what you're made of". He was all mouth. It gave the pensioners watching a laugh anyway.

I'm also assigning Vicki Pollard style shop assistants. Grrrrrr................

Rune Son of Bjarne · 09-20-2006, 08:27 PM

I assign e-mailing 5 friends you have lost contact with over the last month and not reciving on reply. (it has been a week)

Laitoste · 09-20-2006, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I'm assigning to Mordor irrational fear of getting pecked by birds. I've been in Bakewell today and was feeding some geese and swans right out of my hands. Um, how can people think they could hurt you when they have spoon shaped beaks?

I did get bitten by a goose once, when I was really little...I don't think it hurt much, though. Just the shock...

Anyway, I'd like to assign visual illusions. They're cool, but I had a 3 hour Psych lab on them today, and I came away with a painful headache.

Lalwendë · 09-21-2006, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laitoste

I did get bitten by a goose once, when I was really little...I don't think it hurt much, though. Just the shock...

Anyway, I'd like to assign visual illusions. They're cool, but I had a 3 hour Psych lab on them today, and I came away with a painful headache.

I used to gather the eggs from the chickens when I was little, and sometimes you'd get pecked as you put your hand under the hen and into the lovely warm nest to get the egg, but they don't hurt.

And yes, optical delusions as my mother calls 'em. Hmm. I send Magic Eye pictures to Mordor because I can't see the things as I've got astigmatism; I remember being effectively shut out of a whole youth craze many years ago.

Anguirel · 09-21-2006, 11:01 AM

Leaving your history books in the library, realising too late, running over in a state of dubious habillement and staring at your vitally important tomes through the locked grille...

Farael · 09-21-2006, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

And yes, optical delusions as my mother calls 'em. Hmm. I send Magic Eye pictures to Mordor because I can't see the things as I've got astigmatism; I remember being effectively shut out of a whole youth craze many years ago.

And I assign learning just now why I could never see those darned things.

Firefoot · 09-21-2006, 05:09 PM

Heartily seconded, Farael.

I assign people who (a) call you while they're doing something else and then only really talk to you about that: i.e., I'm playing a video game... I just died... so? Why'd you even call me? and (b) call someone else just to talk while you're at their house (especially when you're the only one). It's incredibly rude.

Also, people who are always out to make a buck out of insurance or some such.

Lhunardawen · 09-21-2006, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farael

And I assign learning just now why I could never see those darned things.

Wait...I have astigmatism, but I could see them.

I assign people who park their cars blocking the ramp for the disabled. It just makes my blood boil, seeing that.

Farael · 09-21-2006, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

Wait...I have astigmatism, but I could see them.

I assing having confirmed by a reliable source that the cause why I can't see those darned things cannot be credited to something as simple as astigmatism. Thus showing that, once again, it was my fault

What'd I do without you Lhunie? good thing I assigned you to Mordor, my current abode, a couple times over a couple things

Kath · 09-22-2006, 06:15 AM

Rain.

I have to go out in it to wander aimlessly til I find a Tesco, and then walk back in it carrying heavy bags.

the guy who be short · 09-22-2006, 01:51 PM

I assign books getting wet. They were in my bag. I was under an umbrella. And they still got soaked. Les Fleurs du Mal, just bought last Friday from Oxford. A library book, L'Etranger. My new writing pad, now 400 pages of blue blobs where margins used to be. Not to mention much of my French folder. Stupid downpours.

Lalwendë · 09-22-2006, 02:43 PM

Rain? you don't know the meaning of it.

I had to stand outside in the pouring rain today wearing a chiffon top under a thin cardigan while a mechanic from Green Flag tried to jam open the thermostat on my car, as it basically suddenly turned into one big pressure cooker as there was no water going through the engine. Least I could get away without a bath tonight.

Oddwen · 09-22-2006, 07:28 PM

I wish to assign my brother for agreeing to work 'til close instead of just 'til midnight. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't the only person who could drive my stick-shift OR if we all hadn't gotten up early to go to breakfast OR if I wasn't tired enough to cry OR if he had asked me. BLAH!

I also assign being too tired to type straight. And picking out U-nails from nasty wet algae-y wood with the only available flathead screwdriver that we didn't sell in the yard sale or drop in the duck pond, while remembering pounding each nail & staple in many years ago, thinking back then "Boy, I'm hammering more of these in than I should, I'd hate to pick these back out again!".

Also, I assign breakfasts Out. In restaurants. Nearly everything on the menu is eggs or filled with cheese & sausage, none of which I like.

I also must throw in sore throats, from colds or breathing night air or straining it from screaming in Gandalf's voice, it's very annoying when I'm trying to sing in my car and can't quite sing an entire Disturbed or Breaking Benjamin song because I start squeaking or rasping or hurting at the fun parts.

But most of all, I assign my drum set being packed away, except for the bass drum which I cannot find a box to put it in. I miss playing! I dream of playing! Especially now, when I'm grumpy.

Lhunardawen · 09-24-2006, 03:21 AM

Harry was right, giggles should be outlawed...not that I should be expressing my agreement with him in a Tolkien website. But just think: isn't it really becoming of Orcs to giggle? Or imagine Sauron himself giggling - what a sight (and sound) it must be.

Have I told you that I'm making this assignment because I just realised that I giggle too much, and for the weirdest reasons?

Kath · 09-24-2006, 07:20 AM

Knowing you have to go and wash your hair, but being so comfortable and lazy that you just cannot be bothered.

Laitoste · 09-25-2006, 09:25 AM

Having to spend $15 at the bookstore on an umbrella and Post-It notes.

The impending stress of a busy week: 1 four page paper on the stability of slavery in the antebellum South, 1 500 word essay for Spanish (in Spanish, claro), not to mention 200 word essays on a movie and a cultural activity for our "videodiarios" and a"synthetic oral activity", 1 3-ish page paper on either Erasmus or Luther, plus a debate on the opposite in class, and, now, reading Chaucer untranslated. I wouldn't mind any of these, but crammed all together the way they are...

And this is only September!

JennyHallu · 09-25-2006, 01:41 PM

Oddwen, for disliking cheese.

Cheese is good.

Laitoste · 09-25-2006, 11:19 PM

Obnoxious little formalities you have to pay attention to while writing, such as the literary present. Okay, so I get that when Solomon Northup wrote something about slavery in his book, he is still saying it and needs to be in present tense, but when something happens in the book, that needs to be in past tense, right? I get really confused--especially in history papers. Also, citations can go to Mordor. I obviously have never experienced slavery, nor have I ever seen it practiced. All the stupid little numbers cluttering up my "beautiful" prose!

littlemanpoet · 09-26-2006, 04:00 AM

Having to mow the long, long, green, green stuff after an 11 hour workday. (sigh)

Saurreg · 09-26-2006, 09:06 AM

Middle aged, lower middle echelon civil servants who only aim to knock off at half pass five and make problems for you simply because they don't want to do extra work and are willing to procrastinate until the last minute and then get you to submit a proposal to resolve the issue by an unreasonable dateline before attempting to reject it to cover their backsides until you threaten to take the matter up to the department director...

It's times like these that you feel like resigning from your current job, applying to join the same government body as said civil servants and requesting to be sent to their department to be appointed their supervisor.

Nogrod · 09-26-2006, 09:37 AM

These people who try to infiltrate the forums with their adds on iPods and other equipment...

Rune Son of Bjarne · 09-28-2006, 07:29 AM

The song "It started with a kiss" not because it is a bad song or I don't like the music.

It just affects me in a way emotionaly that is rather uncomftable.

ninja91 · 09-28-2006, 10:38 AM

Speaking of songs, I cannot stand that god-awful "Holla back girrl" song. It drives me insane...

Kath · 09-29-2006, 05:30 AM

Days that can't make up their minds. I'm going to be cold today, no actually I think hot, hmm maybe rainy, oh no I preferred hot, now I want to be cold again. Grr, I refuse to carry three different tops and an umbrella just to deal with the changing weather.

the guy who be short · 09-29-2006, 10:23 AM

I assign Missing Umbrellas! And subsequent rain!

Volo · 09-29-2006, 11:40 AM

I assing myself

EDIT: to escape confusion: I don't mean WW in any way...

Saurreg · 09-29-2006, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

The song "It started with a kiss" ...

Mr. Brightside by the The Killers? Girls at my side of the world are crazy over them. Meh, I kinda like their beats and rifts myself.

doom_hammer · 09-29-2006, 08:29 PM

I'd like to assign terrorism.

Kath · 09-30-2006, 03:52 PM

Uncomfortable seats. Especially when you have to sit in them for about 11 hours.

littlemanpoet · 10-03-2006, 06:26 PM

School shootings.

Sick minds filled with hate and revenge.

Luinilwen · 10-03-2006, 11:27 PM

Fun haters.

The Sixth Wizard · 10-04-2006, 12:37 AM

I and every last one of my friends.

Current affair shows and talkback hosts!!

Those fake smiles people give you that aren't even symmetrical.

Oddwen · 10-04-2006, 07:09 AM

Have I assigned Derek Jeter yet? I should. He's overrated, extremely overrated. He's a mediocre player. He pirrouettes like a girl. He plays for the Yankees. He's extremely smarmy & smug looking. He's ugly. I hate looking at him. I hate hearing about him *every* five minutes on ESPN.
What I do love to hate is hearing my brother screaming at all the articles featuring his bloated image & flaunting his piddling averages as if he were some sort of second Babe Ruth. Bah humbug, Jeter.

Can I also assign the Detroit Tigers for pretty much blowing it just when they hit the top? Yeah. That's loyalty for ya.

ninja91 · 10-05-2006, 09:51 AM

I assign the people who join the forums to sell me junk I can get anywhere else for $1,000,000 less. I cant stand them.

Kath · 10-05-2006, 10:19 AM

Having to wait 20 minutes to ask one simple question that takes 20 seconds.

When your mouth aches as you try to eat.

the guy who be short · 10-05-2006, 11:12 AM

When it hurts to speak...

Volo · 10-05-2006, 11:38 AM

When it hurts to be...

ninja91 · 10-05-2006, 12:26 PM

... a salesperson.

09-20-2006, 09:50 AM	#1561
Feanor of the Peredhil La Belle Dame sans Merci Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: perpetual uncertainty Posts: 5,517	Accidentally reading a dozen or so pages of this:"Well," seyde Sir Epynogrys, "syth that ye loved La Beall Isode, loved she ever you agayne by onythynge that ye cowde wyte, othir ellys ded ye ever rejoyse her in ony plesure?" Instead of a dozen or so pages of this: So it misfortuned Sir Gawain and all his brethren were in King Arthur's chamber, and then Sir Agravain said thus openly, and not in no counsel, that many knights might here... __________________ peace

09-21-2006, 11:01 AM	#1567
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Leaving your history books in the library, realising too late, running over in a state of dubious habillement and staring at your vitally important tomes through the locked grille... __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

09-22-2006, 06:15 AM	#1572
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Rain. I have to go out in it to wander aimlessly til I find a Tesco, and then walk back in it carrying heavy bags. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

09-22-2006, 02:43 PM	#1574
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Rain? you don't know the meaning of it. I had to stand outside in the pouring rain today wearing a chiffon top under a thin cardigan while a mechanic from Green Flag tried to jam open the thermostat on my car, as it basically suddenly turned into one big pressure cooker as there was no water going through the engine. Least I could get away without a bath tonight. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-22-2006, 07:28 PM	#1575
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	I wish to assign my brother for agreeing to work 'til close instead of just 'til midnight. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't the only person who could drive my stick-shift OR if we all hadn't gotten up early to go to breakfast OR if I wasn't tired enough to cry OR if he had asked me. BLAH! I also assign being too tired to type straight. And picking out U-nails from nasty wet algae-y wood with the only available flathead screwdriver that we didn't sell in the yard sale or drop in the duck pond, while remembering pounding each nail & staple in many years ago, thinking back then "Boy, I'm hammering more of these in than I should, I'd hate to pick these back out again!". Also, I assign breakfasts Out. In restaurants. Nearly everything on the menu is eggs or filled with cheese & sausage, none of which I like. I also must throw in sore throats, from colds or breathing night air or straining it from screaming in Gandalf's voice, it's very annoying when I'm trying to sing in my car and can't quite sing an entire Disturbed or Breaking Benjamin song because I start squeaking or rasping or hurting at the fun parts. But most of all, I assign my drum set being packed away, except for the bass drum which I cannot find a box to put it in. I miss playing! I dream of playing! Especially now, when I'm grumpy. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

09-21-2006, 05:09 PM	#1569
Firefoot Illusionary Holbytla Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 7,547	Heartily seconded, Farael. I assign people who (a) call you while they're doing something else and then only really talk to you about that: i.e., I'm playing a video game... I just died... so? Why'd you even call me? and (b) call someone else just to talk while you're at their house (especially when you're the only one). It's incredibly rude. Also, people who are always out to make a buck out of insurance or some such.

09-22-2006, 01:51 PM	#1573
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	I assign books getting wet. They were in my bag. I was under an umbrella. And they still got soaked. Les Fleurs du Mal, just bought last Friday from Oxford. A library book, L'Etranger. My new writing pad, now 400 pages of blue blobs where margins used to be. Not to mention much of my French folder. Stupid downpours.

09-24-2006, 03:21 AM	#1576
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Harry was right, giggles should be outlawed...not that I should be expressing my agreement with him in a Tolkien website. But just think: isn't it really becoming of Orcs to giggle? Or imagine Sauron himself giggling - what a sight (and sound) it must be. Have I told you that I'm making this assignment because I just realised that I giggle too much, and for the weirdest reasons?

09-24-2006, 07:20 AM	#1577
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Knowing you have to go and wash your hair, but being so comfortable and lazy that you just cannot be bothered. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

09-25-2006, 09:25 AM	#1578
Laitoste Wight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Behind the hills Posts: 164	Having to spend $15 at the bookstore on an umbrella and Post-It notes. The impending stress of a busy week: 1 four page paper on the stability of slavery in the antebellum South, 1 500 word essay for Spanish (in Spanish, claro), not to mention 200 word essays on a movie and a cultural activity for our "videodiarios" and a"synthetic oral activity", 1 3-ish page paper on either Erasmus or Luther, plus a debate on the opposite in class, and, now, reading Chaucer untranslated. I wouldn't mind any of these, but crammed all together the way they are... And this is only September! __________________ "If we're still alive in the morning, we'll know that we're not dead."~South Park

09-25-2006, 01:41 PM	#1579
JennyHallu The Pearl, The Lily Maid Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In my luxury Barrow, snuggled up in a pile of satin pillows, eating fresh fruit. Posts: 1,628	Oddwen, for disliking cheese. Cheese is good. __________________ <=== Lookee, lookee, lots of IM handles!

09-25-2006, 11:19 PM	#1580
Laitoste Wight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Behind the hills Posts: 164	Obnoxious little formalities you have to pay attention to while writing, such as the literary present. Okay, so I get that when Solomon Northup wrote something about slavery in his book, he is still saying it and needs to be in present tense, but when something happens in the book, that needs to be in past tense, right? I get really confused--especially in history papers. Also, citations can go to Mordor. I obviously have never experienced slavery, nor have I ever seen it practiced. All the stupid little numbers cluttering up my "beautiful" prose! __________________ "If we're still alive in the morning, we'll know that we're not dead."~South Park

09-26-2006, 04:00 AM	#1581
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Having to mow the long, long, green, green stuff after an 11 hour workday. (sigh)

09-26-2006, 09:06 AM	#1582
Saurreg Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In self imposed exile... Posts: 465	Middle aged, lower middle echelon civil servants who only aim to knock off at half pass five and make problems for you simply because they don't want to do extra work and are willing to procrastinate until the last minute and then get you to submit a proposal to resolve the issue by an unreasonable dateline before attempting to reject it to cover their backsides until you threaten to take the matter up to the department director... It's times like these that you feel like resigning from your current job, applying to join the same government body as said civil servants and requesting to be sent to their department to be appointed their supervisor. __________________ "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. " ~Voltaire

09-26-2006, 09:37 AM	#1583
Nogrod Flame of the Ainulindalë Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Wearing rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves in a field behaving as the wind behaves Posts: 9,308	These people who try to infiltrate the forums with their adds on iPods and other equipment... __________________ Upon the hearth the fire is red Beneath the roof there is a bed; But not yet weary are our feet...

09-29-2006, 05:30 AM	#1586
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Days that can't make up their minds. I'm going to be cold today, no actually I think hot, hmm maybe rainy, oh no I preferred hot, now I want to be cold again. Grr, I refuse to carry three different tops and an umbrella just to deal with the changing weather. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

09-29-2006, 10:23 AM	#1587
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	I assign Missing Umbrellas! And subsequent rain!

09-29-2006, 11:40 AM	#1588
Volo Silver in My Silent Heart Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: the great beauty Posts: 1,611	I assing myself EDIT: to escape confusion: I don't mean WW in any way... __________________ Fenris Wolf The EVEN NEWER Barrow-Downs Photo Page Last edited by Volo; 09-29-2006 at 01:22 PM.

09-29-2006, 08:29 PM	#1590
doom_hammer Haunting Spirit Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 73	I'd like to assign terrorism.

09-30-2006, 03:52 PM	#1591
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Uncomfortable seats. Especially when you have to sit in them for about 11 hours. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

10-03-2006, 06:26 PM	#1592
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	School shootings. Sick minds filled with hate and revenge.

10-03-2006, 11:27 PM	#1593
Luinilwen Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Under the shadow of a doubt. Posts: 11	Fun haters. __________________ Forever's a promise no love can survive and trust with hearts just don't apply.

10-04-2006, 12:37 AM	#1594
The Sixth Wizard Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon. Posts: 480	I and every last one of my friends. Current affair shows and talkback hosts!! Those fake smiles people give you that aren't even symmetrical. Last edited by The Sixth Wizard; 10-08-2006 at 11:35 PM.

10-04-2006, 07:09 AM	#1595
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Have I assigned Derek Jeter yet? I should. He's overrated, extremely overrated. He's a mediocre player. He pirrouettes like a girl. He plays for the Yankees. He's extremely smarmy & smug looking. He's ugly. I hate looking at him. I hate hearing about him every five minutes on ESPN. What I do love to hate is hearing my brother screaming at all the articles featuring his bloated image & flaunting his piddling averages as if he were some sort of second Babe Ruth. Bah humbug, Jeter. Can I also assign the Detroit Tigers for pretty much blowing it just when they hit the top? Yeah. That's loyalty for ya. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 10-04-2006 at 07:12 AM. Reason: Let's go Tigers...

10-05-2006, 10:19 AM	#1597
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Having to wait 20 minutes to ask one simple question that takes 20 seconds. When your mouth aches as you try to eat. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

10-05-2006, 11:12 AM	#1598
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	When it hurts to speak...

10-05-2006, 11:38 AM	#1599
Volo Silver in My Silent Heart Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: the great beauty Posts: 1,611	When it hurts to be... __________________ Fenris Wolf The EVEN NEWER Barrow-Downs Photo Page