Crazy Captions - Page 349 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

MCRmyGirl4eva · 01-01-2013, 02:06 PM

After reading Gandalf's latest "book", even Elrond found it difficult to seem sincere in his compliments.

OR

Elrond sincerely regrets listening to Bilbo and Gandalf's advice that he read Elladan and Elrohir's dream journals.

Lalwendë · 01-01-2013, 02:57 PM

Elrond checks that Gandalf actually completed the set of 100 lines he set for his punishment:

I must not uncloak
I must not uncloak
I must not uncloak
.......

Lalwendë · 01-04-2013, 07:14 PM

Gandalf: "So, I'm doing this sponsored walk in aid of the Homeless Dwarves' charity, how about a penny a mile?"

MCRmyGirl4eva · 01-09-2013, 07:55 AM

Bolbo and Thorin wait for their punishment after Elrond finds their copy of "100 Ways to Prank Gandalf"

Lalwendë · 01-09-2013, 04:59 PM

Gandalf: "I called in because you're really good with runes, and this blasted manual for my new DVD player may as well be written in them."

Inziladun · 01-09-2013, 05:09 PM

"The script be damned, Jackson. I'm not braiding Gandalf's hair".

Lalwendë · 01-14-2013, 05:20 PM

Middle-England Elrond: "So, now you've shown me what it says in the Daily Mail, I'm wholeheartedly behind your mission! LAYABOUT DRAGON SCROUNGES OFF HARD WORKING DWARVES. You have to do something or house prices will plummet!"

MCRmyGirl4eva · 01-15-2013, 02:50 PM

Inziladun · 01-15-2013, 03:19 PM

"What do you mean 'look out for the White Hand behind you'?"

MCRmyGirl4eva · 01-17-2013, 06:52 AM

Haldir: "You have been sentenced to death by firing squad. Have you any final words?"
Aragorn: "Um..."
Haldir: "April Fool's!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-17-2013, 08:52 AM

Haldir refused to admit that he had missed his quiver when replacing his arrows. But this meant he was at a loss to explain why he was now paralyzed and his back had turned red.

Galadriel55 · 01-17-2013, 06:15 PM

Haldir commands the squad of bodiless arrow-shooting hands.

Tuor in Gondolin · 01-17-2013, 07:47 PM

Haldir to Gimli:
"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

THE Ka · 01-18-2013, 08:41 PM

Thorin: For the love of - It's just a dinner! Follow the instructions starting from the backside of the third page, second paragraph down, fourth sentence...

OR

Bilbo: So... When was the last time you filed taxes for the Mountain?

Thorin: I was thinking since there's a dragon holed up in there, I could, y'know, claim some of a deductible from one of those 'magical endangered species' charities? You can tell them he's been in there foreeeever, so, I'm gonna need some compensation. Yeah.

Bilbo: ... It says you haven't filed in years and anyways, they took dragons off the list last month.

Thorin: Hope you like being bait.

Bilbo: Hmm?

Thorin: Nothing...

Ardent · 01-18-2013, 08:52 PM

Thorin: How long must we sit inside this Omega symbol?

Inziladun · 01-18-2013, 09:32 PM

"Psst, Thorin! Why'd you give him your Birth Certificate?"

Morsul the Dark · 01-18-2013, 10:18 PM

Bilbo: Hmm mmhmm ok I know some of these words.

(for the Good Burger fans out there)

Rune Son of Bjarne · 01-19-2013, 07:29 AM

Bag End was no ordinary hobbit hole, for one it had giant peepholes where others would have doors.

or

Bilbo was starting to get the hang of magic spells, now he just needed to figure out how to get the dwarves back out of the painting.

Tuor in Gondolin · 01-19-2013, 11:49 AM

Bilbo: "Let's see":

Quote:

Preamble: Sauron, by the grace of God, king of England, lord of Ireland, duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and count of Anjou, to the archbishop, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justiciaries, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his bailiffs and liege subjects, greetings. Know that, having regard to God and for the salvation of our soul, and those of all our ancestors and heirs, and unto the honor of God and the advancement of his holy Church and for the rectifying of our realm, we have granted as underwritten by advice of our venerable fathers, Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, primate of all England and cardinal of the holy Roman Church, Henry, archbishop of Dublin, William of London, Peter of Winchester, Jocelyn of Bath and Glastonbury, Hugh of Lincoln, Walter of Worcester, William of Coventry, Benedict of Rochester, bishops; of Master Pandulf, subdeacon and member of the household of our lord the Pope, of brother Aymeric (master of the Knights of the Temple in England), and of the illustrious men William Marshal, earl of Pembroke, William, earl of Salisbury, William, earl of Warenne, William, earl of Arundel, Alan of Galloway (constable of Scotland), Waren Fitz Gerold, Peter Fitz Herbert, Hubert De Burgh (seneschal of Poitou), Hugh de Neville, Matthew Fitz Herbert, Thomas Basset, Alan Basset, Philip d'Aubigny, Robert of Roppesley, John Marshal, John Fitz Hugh, and others, our liegemen.

1. In the first place we have granted to God, and by this our present charter confirmed for us and our heirs forever that the English Church shall be free, and shall have her rights entire, and her liberties inviolate;...

Hey guys. Sauron is not into curbs on overlordship. You might want to walk this document over to Laketown. They're about the only democracy in Middle-earthy right now.

Oddwen · 01-19-2013, 12:44 PM

The first draft of "50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey" needed some editorial work.

Or...

Bilbo: "This isn't a contract, it's just the words "diggy diggy hole" repeated over and over."
Thorin: "And?"

Lalwendë · 01-19-2013, 01:56 PM

Bilbo: "WHAT?!"

The company waits to see if Bilbo will hurl his copy of A Storm Of Swords to the wall as he gets to that moment.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 01-20-2013, 07:19 AM

Too late the dwarves discovered that they had given Bilbo the wrong contract, and so they had to deliver 350 Shetland ponies before the next day.

Lalwendë · 01-23-2013, 04:04 PM

Thorin: "Oi! Bilbo! Have you finished with the Palantir Times yet? I want to know what time Heir Hunters is on."

MCRmyGirl4eva · 02-04-2013, 11:29 AM

Seems it's time for a new picture!

Thorin stares in disbelief at the unspeakably plain silver buckle on Kili's belt.

Or

Fili watches in amusement as a bird lines up to poop on Thorin's head

Inziladun · 02-04-2013, 01:45 PM

"Thorin, ever feel like cryin' and you don't know why?"

Legate of Amon Lanc · 02-04-2013, 02:12 PM

Kili: "Uncle, I know you crave to reclaim the treasure of our ancestors, but you should rather cast away the material needs and look for inner peace and serenity. Look, it's so simple. Ommmmmmm..."

Hookbill the Goomba · 02-04-2013, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legate of Amon Lanc

Kili: "Uncle, I know you crave to reclaim the treasure of our ancestors, but you should rather cast away the material needs and look for inner peace and serenity. Look, it's so simple. Ommmmmmm..."

Oommmmnomnomnomnom

Thorin: Kili, are you eating?

Kili: ...

Kitanna · 02-04-2013, 06:05 PM

Thorin and Kili attempt their best broody elf impressions while Fili tries to figure out what's in Kili's hair

Galadriel55 · 02-04-2013, 06:30 PM

Kili and Fili: Three is Company.

Thorin: That's not majestic enough, we need 14!

HerenIstarion · 02-04-2013, 07:08 PM

Kili: Hey, Mister, wanna buy some coke? It's in this club here...
Thorin: um?
Fili: yeah, dude, that club is full of coke, best stuff?
Thorin: er...
Fili: No? Then we haz other stuff too, here, in these bagz

Holbytlass · 02-10-2013, 02:26 PM

Thorin to Kili: did you just step on a blue fairy?
Kili: um, noooooow

Inziladun · 02-10-2013, 04:52 PM

"What's with your hand, Kili? I told you not to tell Gandalf you'd rather be made of wood than see him uncloaked."

Lalwendë · 02-13-2013, 05:17 PM

Thorin: "Thanks for the beard hair. Don't you think it's jazzed up my cheap Primark Uggs a treat?"

Gil-Galad · 02-13-2013, 08:01 PM

Kili doesn't know how to break the news to Thorin that by wearing trees doesn't make him the shortest Ent ever.

Kuruharan · 02-14-2013, 04:41 PM

Thorin slyly checks to see if anybody noticed that he let one.

MCRmyGirl4eva · 02-24-2013, 01:30 PM

Inziladun · 02-24-2013, 01:43 PM

"This is what they call "The Hill"?! I've had larger warts."

Lalwendë · 02-24-2013, 05:35 PM

Five year old boys the length and breadth of the nation were slightly confused by the new episodes of Postman Pat.

Mithalwen · 02-25-2013, 09:59 AM

Gandalf was forced to downgrade from Shadowfax after Galadriel refused to share his penalty points for speeding

Pervinca Took · 02-25-2013, 10:36 AM

I wonder if this is what Tolkien envisaged when, without barrenness as a contrast, he wrote that he would come to hate all things green as a kind of fungoid growth.

01-01-2013, 02:06 PM	#13921
MCRmyGirl4eva Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Elvenking's Halls Posts: 425	After reading Gandalf's latest "book", even Elrond found it difficult to seem sincere in his compliments. OR Elrond sincerely regrets listening to Bilbo and Gandalf's advice that he read Elladan and Elrohir's dream journals. __________________ "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..." "'Well, I'm back.' said Sam."

01-01-2013, 02:57 PM	#13922
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Elrond checks that Gandalf actually completed the set of 100 lines he set for his punishment: I must not uncloak I must not uncloak I must not uncloak ....... __________________ Gordon's alive!

01-04-2013, 07:14 PM	#13923
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gandalf: "So, I'm doing this sponsored walk in aid of the Homeless Dwarves' charity, how about a penny a mile?" __________________ Gordon's alive!

01-09-2013, 07:55 AM	#13924
MCRmyGirl4eva Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Elvenking's Halls Posts: 425	Bolbo and Thorin wait for their punishment after Elrond finds their copy of "100 Ways to Prank Gandalf" __________________ "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..." "'Well, I'm back.' said Sam."

01-09-2013, 04:59 PM	#13925
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gandalf: "I called in because you're really good with runes, and this blasted manual for my new DVD player may as well be written in them." __________________ Gordon's alive!

01-09-2013, 05:09 PM	#13926
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"The script be damned, Jackson. I'm not braiding Gandalf's hair". __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

01-14-2013, 05:20 PM	#13927
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Middle-England Elrond: "So, now you've shown me what it says in the Daily Mail, I'm wholeheartedly behind your mission! LAYABOUT DRAGON SCROUNGES OFF HARD WORKING DWARVES. You have to do something or house prices will plummet!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

01-15-2013, 02:50 PM	#13928
MCRmyGirl4eva Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Elvenking's Halls Posts: 425	__________________ "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..." "'Well, I'm back.' said Sam."

01-15-2013, 03:19 PM	#13929
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"What do you mean 'look out for the White Hand behind you'?" __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

01-17-2013, 06:52 AM	#13930
MCRmyGirl4eva Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Elvenking's Halls Posts: 425	Haldir: "You have been sentenced to death by firing squad. Have you any final words?" Aragorn: "Um..." Haldir: "April Fool's!" __________________ "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..." "'Well, I'm back.' said Sam."

01-17-2013, 08:52 AM	#13931
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Haldir refused to admit that he had missed his quiver when replacing his arrows. But this meant he was at a loss to explain why he was now paralyzed and his back had turned red. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-17-2013, 06:15 PM	#13932
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,401	Haldir commands the squad of bodiless arrow-shooting hands. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

01-17-2013, 07:47 PM	#13933
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Haldir to Gimli: "What we have here is a failure to communicate." __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

01-18-2013, 08:41 PM	#13934
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	Thorin: For the love of - It's just a dinner! Follow the instructions starting from the backside of the third page, second paragraph down, fourth sentence... OR Bilbo: So... When was the last time you filed taxes for the Mountain? Thorin: I was thinking since there's a dragon holed up in there, I could, y'know, claim some of a deductible from one of those 'magical endangered species' charities? You can tell them he's been in there foreeeever, so, I'm gonna need some compensation. Yeah. Bilbo: ... It says you haven't filed in years and anyways, they took dragons off the list last month. Thorin: Hope you like being bait. Bilbo: Hmm? Thorin: Nothing... __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

01-18-2013, 08:52 PM	#13935
Ardent Wight Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Black Country, West Midlands Posts: 130	Thorin: How long must we sit inside this Omega symbol?

01-18-2013, 09:32 PM	#13936
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"Psst, Thorin! Why'd you give him your Birth Certificate?" __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

01-18-2013, 10:18 PM	#13937
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	Bilbo: Hmm mmhmm ok I know some of these words. (for the Good Burger fans out there) __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

01-19-2013, 12:44 PM	#13940
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	The first draft of "50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey" needed some editorial work. Or... Bilbo: "This isn't a contract, it's just the words "diggy diggy hole" repeated over and over." Thorin: "And?" __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

01-19-2013, 01:56 PM	#13941
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Bilbo: "WHAT?!" The company waits to see if Bilbo will hurl his copy of A Storm Of Swords to the wall as he gets to that moment. __________________ Gordon's alive!

01-23-2013, 04:04 PM	#13943
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Thorin: "Oi! Bilbo! Have you finished with the Palantir Times yet? I want to know what time Heir Hunters is on." __________________ Gordon's alive!

02-04-2013, 11:29 AM	#13944
MCRmyGirl4eva Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Elvenking's Halls Posts: 425	Seems it's time for a new picture! Thorin stares in disbelief at the unspeakably plain silver buckle on Kili's belt. Or Fili watches in amusement as a bird lines up to poop on Thorin's head __________________ "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..." "'Well, I'm back.' said Sam."

02-04-2013, 01:45 PM	#13945
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"Thorin, ever feel like cryin' and you don't know why?" __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

02-04-2013, 02:12 PM	#13946
Legate of Amon Lanc A Voice That Gainsayeth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In that far land beyond the Sea Posts: 7,431	Kili: "Uncle, I know you crave to reclaim the treasure of our ancestors, but you should rather cast away the material needs and look for inner peace and serenity. Look, it's so simple. Ommmmmmm..." __________________ "Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories

02-04-2013, 06:05 PM	#13948
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Thorin and Kili attempt their best broody elf impressions while Fili tries to figure out what's in Kili's hair __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

02-04-2013, 06:30 PM	#13949
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,401	Kili and Fili: Three is Company. Thorin: That's not majestic enough, we need 14! __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

02-04-2013, 07:08 PM	#13950
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,244	Kili: Hey, Mister, wanna buy some coke? It's in this club here... Thorin: um? Fili: yeah, dude, that club is full of coke, best stuff? Thorin: er... Fili: No? Then we haz other stuff too, here, in these bagz __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

02-10-2013, 02:26 PM	#13951
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Thorin to Kili: did you just step on a blue fairy? Kili: um, noooooow __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

02-10-2013, 04:52 PM	#13952
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"What's with your hand, Kili? I told you not to tell Gandalf you'd rather be made of wood than see him uncloaked." __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

02-13-2013, 05:17 PM	#13953
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Thorin: "Thanks for the beard hair. Don't you think it's jazzed up my cheap Primark Uggs a treat?" __________________ Gordon's alive!

02-13-2013, 08:01 PM	#13954
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Kili doesn't know how to break the news to Thorin that by wearing trees doesn't make him the shortest Ent ever. __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

02-14-2013, 04:41 PM	#13955
Kuruharan Regal Dwarven Shade Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold Posts: 3,591	Thorin slyly checks to see if anybody noticed that he let one. __________________ ...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no...

02-24-2013, 01:30 PM	#13956
MCRmyGirl4eva Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The Elvenking's Halls Posts: 425	New piccy! __________________ "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..." "'Well, I'm back.' said Sam."

02-24-2013, 01:43 PM	#13957
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"This is what they call "The Hill"?! I've had larger warts." __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

02-24-2013, 05:35 PM	#13958
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Five year old boys the length and breadth of the nation were slightly confused by the new episodes of Postman Pat. __________________ Gordon's alive!

02-25-2013, 09:59 AM	#13959
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Gandalf was forced to downgrade from Shadowfax after Galadriel refused to share his penalty points for speeding __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace