Crazy Captions - Page 335 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

The Only Real Estel · 08-21-2009, 10:57 PM

Frodo was having a bit of trouble adapting to the "No Phone Useage At Work" policy at his new job.

Foreman Faramir: "Are you texting again!!??"

Frodo: "Whaa? Of course not..."

Eönwë · 08-22-2009, 06:06 AM

Frodo: Please, sir, can I have some more?

Loslote · 08-29-2009, 05:39 PM

Frodo: What do you mean we've been the victims of a cleverly planned reality show?!

Lalwendë · 09-01-2009, 02:41 PM

An ancient Hobbit schoolboy prank.

What Faramir didn't know was that Frodo was not actually cradling a pretty butterfly he just had to see, but a cunningly concealed piece of Oliphaunt dung.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 09-03-2009, 04:42 PM

Faramir had not wanted to hurt him, but when Frodo had claimed to be a paperweight named Lord Hakan something had to be done.

The Might · 09-03-2009, 05:43 PM

Two kids watching LotR on DVD.
One of them freezes the film at this very moment an turns over to the other:

"See the guy in the background? That's MY uncle in LotR!"

Btw, I really like Eonwe's idea.

Lalwendë · 09-04-2009, 01:09 PM

Faramir thought Frodo was holding a sinister Ring of Power in his cupped hands but it was something far more sinister. It was less The Return of the King, more The Return of Sam's Rabbit Curry Thing.

Tuor in Gondolin · 09-04-2009, 05:48 PM

Faramir: (eying the Ring) I know what you're thinking. Did I fire
5 arrows or 6? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement
I've lost count. What you've got to ask yourself is, "Do I feel lucky?"
Well...do ya, punk?

Frodo: I gots to know.

Faramir: Oh, please. We're in Ithilien now, not the Shire!
Let's use proper grammer, Halfling.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 10-12-2009, 10:12 AM

Theodens first assignment for Merry: "Stand still for 5 years"

narfforc · 10-12-2009, 12:27 PM

Merry 'I don't suppose you know how to remove Super glue do you?'.

Loslote · 10-12-2009, 07:16 PM

Merry: This doesn't seem very sharp.

Hama: Well, why don't you try it out then? ... NOT ON ME!!!

Tuor in Gondolin · 10-12-2009, 07:36 PM

Merry: No, I'm not really 20 times the size of those
guys. It's just forced perspective. Trust me.

Morthoron · 10-12-2009, 10:38 PM

Having had enough of Peter Jackson's poor scripting, Dominic Monaghan considers committing ritual Seppuku.

Thinlómien · 10-13-2009, 05:53 AM

Merry: You hold it like this, right?

OR

Merry: Oh gosh, Théoden has left his zipper unzipped!

narfforc · 10-13-2009, 02:04 PM

Merry asks if he can have the fork which matches the knife he's holding.

Mithalwen · 10-13-2009, 02:07 PM

Merry remembers he left the gas on at Crickhollow.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 10-13-2009, 04:41 PM

Merry had been very proud of the sword given to him, but less so when he realised that for years it had been used for scraping gum off the underside of the tables in the Golden Hall.

Inziladun · 10-13-2009, 04:48 PM

"If he mentions his dreams about Arwen one more time...."

Morsul the Dark · 10-13-2009, 06:03 PM

Merry- Sure I have a sword but they have helmets... Could I have a helmet? maybe some armor? no?....

Rune Son of Bjarne · 10-13-2009, 06:07 PM

Merry was contemplating making surrealism an integrated part of everyday life.

or

Merry was awaiting his punishment for drunk riding.

or

Merry was used as Middle-earths first compass.

Mithalwen · 10-14-2009, 11:29 AM

Merry at last realised that his attempt to reconstruct an Escher drawing is inevitably doomed.

Tuor in Gondolin · 10-14-2009, 11:57 AM

Merry realizes with horror that his stone troll utensils are
useless since Fatty Bolger just ate the last oliphaunt steak.

Morsul the Dark · 10-22-2009, 09:11 AM

Gandalf(offscreen): Although Merry seems saddened I must tell you the discussion on this thread has petered out we need a new image.

Boromir88 · 10-22-2009, 12:35 PM

Sam is shocked by Frodo's reading of MLIA

Inziladun · 10-22-2009, 01:13 PM

Sam's 3-day pipe-weed binge had some negative side effects.

Loslote · 10-22-2009, 03:26 PM

All of a sudden, the hobbits realized with horror that they've been turned into cartoons.

Gwathagor · 10-22-2009, 03:29 PM

More like with disgust.

Morsul the Dark · 10-22-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

All of a sudden, the hobbits realized with horror that they've been turned into cartoons.

Actually their true horror came when they realized how badly they were pixelized.

Tuor in Gondolin · 10-22-2009, 06:24 PM

Gandalf: Ah yes, I can translate this. It's in orcish.
Oh my God, it says: "How to cook hobbits!"

Sam: (Blows on page). No wait, it says "How to cook for hobbits."

Gandalf blows harder on page: It's "How to cook forty hobbits."

Sam blows even harder: Nope. It says " How to cook for forty hobbits."

Frodo: All right. That's it. No more Simpson Halloween programs for you guys!

Morthoron · 10-22-2009, 07:27 PM

Gandalf: I now pronounce you Sam and...hobbit? Frodo, do you have the Ring?

Frodo: They can't have the Ring.

Gandalf: Ummm...Frodo, we discussed this prior to the wedding.

Frodo: I don't care what we discussed, the Ring is precious to me!

Sam: But Mr. Frodo, we've only rented the hall 'till 10 pm. We don't have time to be arguing about the Ring.

Frodo: The Ring is only ceremonial, you don't need a Ring to be married.

Gandalf: This is absurb! I was a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company, dash it all! I don't need this inane role.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 10-23-2009, 03:55 AM

The moment Sam realised that he was holding another persons hand and not his pet-turtle Gustav.

or

Gandalf had left the hobbits in charge of his libary for 4 min and when he returned, all the words in all the book had been replaced by squished ants.

**The Saucepan Man** · 10-23-2009, 06:27 AM

Frodo: What does it say Gandalf?

Gandalf: It says ....[dramatic pause] ... Gondor has no trousers! Gondor needs no trousers!

Oddwen · 10-23-2009, 11:07 AM

Gandalf: Hrrm, harumph, this is the fabled tome of Crázy Captiöns, and long has it thought to have been lost...

Frodo: But what does it say, Gandalf?

Gandalf: Hmm? Hmm, that is the question, my dear Hobbit. Legend says that the tome of Crázy Captiöns has been the pinnacle of human thoughts, its greatest achievement, its most enduring thread. I read it now with the utmost anticipation...hmm, hmm, yes..."Not Left Handed"..."Meela and the Steward"...puns, puns, more puns..."Mount Zoom"...and...what's this? "Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked"? Piff and tosh! It's just a load of rubbish.

Pippin: I don't know Gandalf, I thought that last one was rather hilarious.

Gandalf: Fool of a Took!

Boromir: Disco King, really?

Sam: Begging your pardon Master Gandalf, but I actually find that all of the pants jokes have me rolling in the aisles, if you follow me.

Frodo: Gandalf, what is Mapquest and why is it so stupid?

Aragorn: Come to think of it Gandalf, didn't I just accidentally run into you the other night...

Gandalf: Shut up!

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-23-2009, 12:28 PM

It was with great difficulty that Sam had to prevent Merry from putting more graffiti on the parchment.

OR

Frodo: And you really think that these future films will try and do the whole trilogy? I thought you said it was impossible!

Gandalf: Well, they leave things out.

Frodo: But what about this bit here? The 'Wargs of Isenguard attack the Rohirum on the way to Helms Deep' bit.

Gandalf: Well, yes, but still there's always-

Frodo: And what's this about no singing? It won't be a Tolkien film without a song every five minutes.

Boromir88 · 10-25-2009, 09:04 PM

Theoden made a bet he could beat Grima with two arms tied behind his back.

or...

Theoden: None shall pass.

Grima: Both your arms are cut off!

Theoden: No they aren't. The way I have my garments draped only makes it look like I have no arms. It's a mere illusion to trick opponents, for I can still wield a brand. *stabs Grima in one swift motion*

Hakon · 10-25-2009, 09:12 PM

Gandalf watches calmly as Theoden starts singing death metal to a terrified Grima.

Inziladun · 10-25-2009, 09:17 PM

Gríma replacing Théoden's bunion cream with stinging orc-medicine was the final straw.

Mnemosyne · 10-25-2009, 09:25 PM

Legolas: So... your uncle, eh?

Eowyn: Oh, he's only like this when he's off his meds.

Formendacil · 10-25-2009, 10:02 PM

Théoden and Gandalf kick Gríma out of the "Cranky Old Men" clubhouse.

Loslote · 10-26-2009, 11:31 AM

Theoden: MY PRECIOUSSSS!!

08-22-2009, 06:06 AM	#13362
Eönwë Flame Imperishable Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Right here Posts: 3,928	Frodo: Please, sir, can I have some more? __________________ Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place

09-01-2009, 02:41 PM	#13364
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	An ancient Hobbit schoolboy prank. What Faramir didn't know was that Frodo was not actually cradling a pretty butterfly he just had to see, but a cunningly concealed piece of Oliphaunt dung. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-03-2009, 05:43 PM	#13366
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,205	Two kids watching LotR on DVD. One of them freezes the film at this very moment an turns over to the other: "See the guy in the background? That's MY uncle in LotR!" Btw, I really like Eonwe's idea. __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

09-04-2009, 01:09 PM	#13367
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Faramir thought Frodo was holding a sinister Ring of Power in his cupped hands but it was something far more sinister. It was less The Return of the King, more The Return of Sam's Rabbit Curry Thing. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-04-2009, 05:48 PM	#13368
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Faramir: (eying the Ring) I know what you're thinking. Did I fire 5 arrows or 6? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement I've lost count. What you've got to ask yourself is, "Do I feel lucky?" Well...do ya, punk? Frodo: I gots to know. Faramir: Oh, please. We're in Ithilien now, not the Shire! Let's use proper grammer, Halfling. __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

08-21-2009, 10:57 PM	#13361
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Frodo was having a bit of trouble adapting to the "No Phone Useage At Work" policy at his new job. Foreman Faramir: "Are you texting again!!??" Frodo: "Whaa? Of course not..."

08-29-2009, 05:39 PM	#13363
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,021	Frodo: What do you mean we've been the victims of a cleverly planned reality show?!

10-12-2009, 12:27 PM	#13370
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Merry 'I don't suppose you know how to remove Super glue do you?'. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

10-12-2009, 07:16 PM	#13371
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,021	Merry: This doesn't seem very sharp. Hama: Well, why don't you try it out then? ... NOT ON ME!!! __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

10-12-2009, 07:36 PM	#13372
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Merry: No, I'm not really 20 times the size of those guys. It's just forced perspective. Trust me. __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

10-12-2009, 10:38 PM	#13373
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,509	Having had enough of Peter Jackson's poor scripting, Dominic Monaghan considers committing ritual Seppuku. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

10-13-2009, 05:53 AM	#13374
Thinlómien Shady She-Penguin Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a far land beyond the Sea Posts: 8,093	Merry: You hold it like this, right? OR Merry: Oh gosh, Théoden has left his zipper unzipped! __________________ Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris

10-13-2009, 02:04 PM	#13375
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Merry asks if he can have the fork which matches the knife he's holding. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

10-13-2009, 02:07 PM	#13376
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Merry remembers he left the gas on at Crickhollow. __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

10-13-2009, 04:48 PM	#13378
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	"If he mentions his dreams about Arwen one more time...." __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

10-13-2009, 06:03 PM	#13379
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	Merry- Sure I have a sword but they have helmets... Could I have a helmet? maybe some armor? no?.... __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

10-14-2009, 11:29 AM	#13381
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	Merry at last realised that his attempt to reconstruct an Escher drawing is inevitably doomed. __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

10-14-2009, 11:57 AM	#13382
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Merry realizes with horror that his stone troll utensils are useless since Fatty Bolger just ate the last oliphaunt steak. __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

10-22-2009, 09:11 AM	#13383
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	Gandalf(offscreen): Although Merry seems saddened I must tell you the discussion on this thread has petered out we need a new image. __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

10-22-2009, 12:35 PM	#13384
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Sam is shocked by Frodo's reading of MLIA __________________ Fenris Penguin

10-22-2009, 01:13 PM	#13385
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	Sam's 3-day pipe-weed binge had some negative side effects. __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

10-22-2009, 03:26 PM	#13386
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,021	All of a sudden, the hobbits realized with horror that they've been turned into cartoons. __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

10-22-2009, 03:29 PM	#13387
Gwathagor Shade with a Blade Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: A Rainy Night In Soho Posts: 2,512	More like with disgust. __________________ Stories and songs.

10-22-2009, 06:24 PM	#13389
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Gandalf: Ah yes, I can translate this. It's in orcish. Oh my God, it says: "How to cook hobbits!" Sam: (Blows on page). No wait, it says "How to cook for hobbits." Gandalf blows harder on page: It's "How to cook forty hobbits." Sam blows even harder: Nope. It says " How to cook for forty hobbits." Frodo: All right. That's it. No more Simpson Halloween programs for you guys! __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

10-22-2009, 07:27 PM	#13390
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,509	Gandalf: I now pronounce you Sam and...hobbit? Frodo, do you have the Ring? Frodo: They can't have the Ring. Gandalf: Ummm...Frodo, we discussed this prior to the wedding. Frodo: I don't care what we discussed, the Ring is precious to me! Sam: But Mr. Frodo, we've only rented the hall 'till 10 pm. We don't have time to be arguing about the Ring. Frodo: The Ring is only ceremonial, you don't need a Ring to be married. Gandalf: This is absurb! I was a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company, dash it all! I don't need this inane role. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

10-23-2009, 06:27 AM	#13392
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Frodo: What does it say Gandalf? Gandalf: It says ....[dramatic pause] ... Gondor has no trousers! Gondor needs no trousers! __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

10-23-2009, 11:07 AM	#13393
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	The Chamber of Mayhembûl Gandalf: Hrrm, harumph, this is the fabled tome of Crázy Captiöns, and long has it thought to have been lost... Frodo: But what does it say, Gandalf? Gandalf: Hmm? Hmm, that is the question, my dear Hobbit. Legend says that the tome of Crázy Captiöns has been the pinnacle of human thoughts, its greatest achievement, its most enduring thread. I read it now with the utmost anticipation...hmm, hmm, yes..."Not Left Handed"..."Meela and the Steward"...puns, puns, more puns..."Mount Zoom"...and...what's this? "Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked"? Piff and tosh! It's just a load of rubbish. Pippin: I don't know Gandalf, I thought that last one was rather hilarious. Gandalf: Fool of a Took! Boromir: Disco King, really? Sam: Begging your pardon Master Gandalf, but I actually find that all of the pants jokes have me rolling in the aisles, if you follow me. Frodo: Gandalf, what is Mapquest and why is it so stupid? Aragorn: Come to think of it Gandalf, didn't I just accidentally run into you the other night... Gandalf: Shut up! __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

10-23-2009, 12:28 PM	#13394
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	It was with great difficulty that Sam had to prevent Merry from putting more graffiti on the parchment. OR Frodo: And you really think that these future films will try and do the whole trilogy? I thought you said it was impossible! Gandalf: Well, they leave things out. Frodo: But what about this bit here? The 'Wargs of Isenguard attack the Rohirum on the way to Helms Deep' bit. Gandalf: Well, yes, but still there's always- Frodo: And what's this about no singing? It won't be a Tolkien film without a song every five minutes. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

10-25-2009, 09:04 PM	#13395
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Theoden made a bet he could beat Grima with two arms tied behind his back. or... Theoden: None shall pass. Grima: Both your arms are cut off! Theoden: No they aren't. The way I have my garments draped only makes it look like I have no arms. It's a mere illusion to trick opponents, for I can still wield a brand. stabs Grima in one swift motion __________________ Fenris Penguin Last edited by Boromir88; 10-25-2009 at 09:07 PM.

10-25-2009, 09:12 PM	#13396
Hakon Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2009 Location: The Twilight Zone Posts: 736	Gandalf watches calmly as Theoden starts singing death metal to a terrified Grima. __________________ Medicine for the soul. ~Inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes

10-25-2009, 09:17 PM	#13397
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	Gríma replacing Théoden's bunion cream with stinging orc-medicine was the final straw. __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

10-25-2009, 09:25 PM	#13398
Mnemosyne Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Between the past and the future Posts: 1,159	Legolas: So... your uncle, eh? Eowyn: Oh, he's only like this when he's off his meds. __________________ Got corsets?

10-25-2009, 10:02 PM	#13399
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,326	Théoden and Gandalf kick Gríma out of the "Cranky Old Men" clubhouse. __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

10-26-2009, 11:31 AM	#13400
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,021	Theoden: MY PRECIOUSSSS!! __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris