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10-15-2008, 04:32 PM | #1281 |
Alive without breath
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As Lal and Alien investigate the mysterious oats, they have no idea what kinds of things are living in the sewers... Mostly rats.
Hope you're all enjoying this volume. If you're wondering, this volume will be 100 episodes long. Volume 3, on the other hand, is probably going to be much longer. And Volume 4! Goodness me! I have no idea. Basically, as we approach episode 50, we reach the first climax of the serise. From there it builds and builds until the shocking ending of episode 100. And, I hope you find the finale VERY surprising.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-15-2008, 09:40 PM | #1282 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 347
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Ah, the nice lovely non sequiturs Alien throws out!
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10-16-2008, 04:46 AM | #1283 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Posts: 4,737
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Curses! I cannot give rep to the Super Hat!
By the way, is it a trilby?
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Gordon's alive!
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10-16-2008, 04:49 AM | #1284 | |
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Quote:
Do keep the hat factory in mind. Although, I will point out that its relevance won't pay off until Volume 4, I'm afraid.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-16-2008, 04:58 AM | #1285 |
A Mere Boggart
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You are turning into Alan Moore with all these tricksy references that don't play out until much later on.
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Gordon's alive!
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10-16-2008, 10:57 AM | #1286 |
Pilgrim Soul
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*choking to death*
Phantom, you poor deluded soul. But I do adore you utterly apart from the anti-cat thing, your only flaw which you seem to be correcting...
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
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10-16-2008, 12:30 PM | #1287 |
Doubting Dwimmerlaik
Join Date: Dec 2004
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What Balderdash! The new issue has me scratching my head in amazement over where they get their writers. One can only assume that the recent Barrow Downs Newspaper article was written about some other alatar, as it surely wasn't this nick. Two items from the article clearly indicate that the writer was either (1) writing about some other nit-cradling carrier of Pediculus humanus capitis, or (2) making up the entire story from whole (infested) clothe.
Bah!
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There is naught that you can do, other than to resist, with hope or without it.
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10-17-2008, 10:13 AM | #1288 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Wait a minute, I just noticed something: Alien has invisible hands!
A hat factory? Does this mean that they can manufacture those Indiana Jones fedora's to all the Downers? I believe you did an article on that a while back.
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
10-17-2008, 10:20 AM | #1289 | |
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Quote:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 10-17-2008 at 10:31 AM. |
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10-17-2008, 06:50 PM | #1290 | |
Mighty Quill
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Quote:
I can't believe that you didn't know that Alien had invisible hands! Groin, you pay less attention than I do!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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10-19-2008, 04:45 PM | #1291 |
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Grab your hats, eat your soup and climb the ladders! It's time for the News! The phantom's work has, once again, saved me tearing my hair out. Let us give him cakes of many kinds.
This week, The Phantom finds that the plot is a bit like a burnt dog; unusual, useless and it smells a bit. Comic Archive So far I've received one entry for the P&A contest. I will post it up on the website at the end of the month. I'll let you all see the entries and then I'll set up a pole for you to vote on which one should win. The winner will get the next five episodes of P&A and a special picture from Volume 3! I did consider giving away a P&A T-Shirt (I found a website that let me make them), but wasn't sure the mods would be comfortable with it. To be honest, I wasn't. I'm no sell out! Not yet, anyway... ... Buy Pepsi! ... Ignore that.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-19-2008, 07:25 PM | #1292 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
To the person and/or persons dubiously titled 'Editor' and/or 'Editorial Staff': It is rare that I appear on these pages as myself. I usually write op/ed pieces as some lunatic persona with a clever pseudonym lampooning a tabloid that in itself is a satire of any number of exploitative rags disregarding truth and ethics in the wacky world of the prurient press; however, your front-page blurb 'Phantom Criticized For Mithalwen Article' has gone beyond the pale (and beyond pale in a BD sense is quite ashen). To say that I have been misquoted is an understatement. Let's break down the statements you purport to be mine, as opposed to what I actually said: First, you claim I said, "What he's doing is an insult to true journalism." Yet, what I actually stated is as follows (with your out-of-context edits in bold, underlined print): What an extraordinary article by The Phantom! He's offered a brief but poignant biography of Mithalwen, doing so in an unbiased and colorful manner. It is an undeniable treat to have read such an offering from a newspaper that usually stoops to insult and innuendo. I am gratified to heap honors upon Phantom, and the steps The Downer is making to become the epitome of true journalism. And then to make matters worse, you claim I said, "A newspaper is supposed to be used for the purpose of reporting, not winking at your friends." Again, my actual statement, which concerned my new puppy and had nothing to do with the article at all, is as follows (with your out-of-context edits in bold, underlined print): In house-breaking a puppy, I find soiled newspaper (from the area within the house where the dog is supposed to be paper-trained) is excellent for the purpose of guiding the puppy to doing his duty out-of-doors (if anyone else is involved in training of the puppy, make sure he or she is reporting the progress of the pup -- consistency is important!). When the puppy is ready to advance from paper-training, just take the soiled newspaper outside to a specified area and place the puppy adjacent to the paper, and the scent usually does the rest. But be warned: house-breaking is a serious business, and should not be taken lightheartedly with much winking and nodding. Dogs, even immature puppies, look at your behavior and behave in lke manner. You must be a dog's master before you can be friends. I find the inept and libelous methods with which you manage to warp the truth to be mind-bogglingly addled, and, truth to tell, utterly unnecessary, particularly since I insult your paper on a regular basis without any need for redaction, blue penciling, deletions, insertions, abridging, abbreviating or edits of any sort. Sincerely, Morthoron the Dark Elf Nan Elmoth, Doriath
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 10-19-2008 at 07:32 PM. |
10-20-2008, 03:03 AM | #1293 |
Princess of Skwerlz
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Concerned as I am for the welfare of Downs members, I have thought of a solution that could help Greenie to achieve her usual colour: if we find someone with jaundice to infect her, the combination of yellow with her blues ought to bring the desired results.
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
10-20-2008, 10:03 AM | #1294 | |
Alive without breath
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Quote:
Dear Morthoron, Do you think you are the first person we have done this to? Indeed, there is a helpline and everything! Please Contact The Saucepan Man for more details. Yours, The Bed Eater
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-20-2008, 10:19 PM | #1295 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Quote:
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com Last edited by Morai; 10-20-2008 at 10:20 PM. Reason: Strange....I quoted the wrong quote. It's contagious I tell you |
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10-22-2008, 08:25 AM | #1296 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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He he! This is all rubbish! This newspaper! I've really got nothing to say, but I liked it. Let's have another next week! PLEEASE!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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10-22-2008, 09:38 AM | #1297 | |
Dead Serious
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Quote:
Dear Morthoron, Do you think you are the king of Gondor? Really sir, we must protest, as I have it on good authority that Legate of Amon Lanc has a claim to this title, and as the first person we have heard this from, his must be the superior claim in our eyes. Since you are not the king of Gondor it is clear that you must be a hatter, and clearly on your way to insanity. What have we done to earn your ire? I assure you, we should really like to know this, in order to publish it. News is hard to come by, right? Indeed, there is talk of setting up a helpline for us and everything! Please Contact The Saucepan Man for more details about your irrational hatred, so that we can get a story of him chasing you off his lawn. Yours, The Best Mud Eater Oh dear! It is too much fun messing with people's mail like this!
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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10-22-2008, 11:10 AM | #1298 |
Estelo dagnir, Melo ring
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,063
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To the Editorial Staff of The Downer periodical,
We of the Canine Protection and Unification Group would first like to say that we hope it is not to presumptuous to assume that an “editorial staff” does indeed exist for The Downer publication. We also apologize for any insult that may have been caused by our greeting if you are still posing as a “newspaper”, and thus a reliable source of news. As for our purpose for writing, it has come to the CPUG’s attention that The Downer not only regularly displays but also promotes the oppression of animals, particularly our canine friends. In your most recent publication, you belittle the canis genus to the extreme. Whether or not a being smells or is burnt has nothing to do whatsoever with that being being a useful member of society deserving respect. We are happy to see that you are taking steps in a good direction by allowing the voice of the equine minority to be heard, but it seems there is still a long way to go for our canine brothers and sisters. We hope that in the future you will be more thoughtful in your treatment of man’s best friend. We also hope that you may begin on a program to recovery and redemption by picking up a copy of CPUG’s own publication, Canine Living. In this week’s edition, we specifically suggest the article “Doo on the Grass: It’s Good for the Environment and Okay for You”. Respectfully, The Canine Protection and Unification Group Last edited by Durelin; 10-22-2008 at 11:22 AM. |
10-22-2008, 11:18 AM | #1299 |
Alive without breath
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THE DOWNER EDITORIAL STAFF:
It makes all the decisions. In response to the above criticisms; Dead dogs are, according to our research, funnier than being shot through the lungs. So unless you wish to be shot through the lungs, kindly refrain from troubling Mr Stafferson with such complaints. He has a lot on his mind as his wife has just left him and his nine children have all become pencils. Yours, The Editorial Staff's assistant, Sir Henry Rawlinson.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-22-2008, 12:07 PM | #1300 |
Estelo dagnir, Melo ring
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,063
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Yay violence!™
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10-22-2008, 02:44 PM | #1301 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Dear Editor,
Has it ever struck you as deeply ironic that all these 'letters in green ink' you receive from friendly crackpots are actually written in green ink? Yours Maddus McMad of Madchester.
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Gordon's alive!
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10-23-2008, 04:47 AM | #1302 |
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Lal and Alien continue to wonder why anyone would want to blow up Eomer's house... Well, Lal is wondering, Alien is just looking for more beans.
COMIC ARCHIVE
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-23-2008, 05:37 AM | #1303 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Oh!!! I'm going to have to have therapy after being witness to that horrific murder!!!
*something for Barrow Downs Products to invest in, then....*
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Gordon's alive!
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10-23-2008, 05:51 AM | #1304 |
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This scene will get a little more horrific next Thursday, I'm afraid.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-23-2008, 10:34 AM | #1305 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Yehaw for violence! I hope Morm survives, but I guess I'll have to wait until monday.
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
10-23-2008, 10:52 AM | #1306 |
Alive without breath
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You'll actually have to wait until Thursday to see what happens to Morm. On Monday we catch up with The Phantom and the Hoody Cloaky Group.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-23-2008, 11:04 AM | #1307 | |
A Mere Boggart
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Quote:
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Gordon's alive!
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10-26-2008, 04:47 PM | #1308 |
Mighty Quill
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I LOVED the P and A!!!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing. I almost ESPLODED!!!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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10-26-2008, 05:31 PM | #1309 |
Alive without breath
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It's that time again... more or less...
Without the phantom, you'd have to enjoy my hopeless attempts at humour. His hopeless attempts are much less time consuming...
As the adventures deepens, The Phantom wonders if all that digging was indeed necessary... Comic Archive I'm still accepting entries for the Phantom and Alien competition! So far I've received two... Come on, people! More are needed!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-26-2008, 05:55 PM | #1310 |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
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How long do we have to get them in, Hooky?
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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10-27-2008, 01:16 AM | #1311 |
Alive without breath
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The deadline for the P&A contest is the 31st of October... So, Friday. As long as I get it before Saturday morning, I'll accept it.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-27-2008, 01:28 AM | #1312 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Is a joint effort allowed? TheGreatElvenWarrior and I are planning to put one together you see. She came up with the idea (being much more amusing than I) and I would draw it.
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10-27-2008, 02:21 AM | #1313 |
Alive without breath
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I've no problem with that. Volume Three will probably be drawn by my brother, due mostly to the fact that the stor is too ambitious for my artistic skills.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-27-2008, 04:29 AM | #1314 |
Shady She-Penguin
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A tidbit of information
Greenie has agreed to be my partner in crime, so we will do our contest work together... Beware.
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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10-27-2008, 06:35 AM | #1315 |
Princess of Skwerlz
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I could've predicted that that horrible photo would turn up in the Downer. The photographer (we're not mentioning names, are we, Hookbill? ) told me that he wanted a picture of the paper and that I wouldn't show on it.
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
10-27-2008, 07:45 AM | #1316 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Sirs, We at the North Downs Renaissance Festival express our blistering outrage concerning the staggering loss suffered by many of our performers in the wake of the stunning revelation that Ms. Telcontar has been stealing warts for years. You might not be aware, but the re-enactors, performers and staff of North Downs Renaissance Festival rely on such disfigurements as warts to complete the look and feel of an actual 15th century village. We pride ourselves in looking like characters from a Bruegel painting. This requires much sacrifice on the part of our performers -- some of the more zealous re-enactors have sawed off their own legs, pulled out teeth, and have contracted small pox in order to better mimic actual medieval beggars, mendicants and yeomen. Most have not bathed in years, and eat only acorns and onions to assure authenticity. By our estimates, Ms. Telcontar has made off with at least twenty pounds worth of warts from our organization. It may not seem like much, but considering the rather insubstantial weight of the average mole (even the big, pulsing hairy ones), the loss is prodigious. In addition, many of our performers have expressed a concern that perhaps warts were not the only bodily deformities Ms. Telcontar has removed. There are reports of missing wens, goiters and moles as well. This represents a tremendous deficit in the authentic hideousness we wish to portray, and an irretrievable loss in time invested in growing such deformities (it takes years to grow a great goiter!). In conclusion, we hope Ms. Telcontar shows true remorse regarding her crime and returns the purloined pimples. Her crime is a pock-mark on an otherwise unblemished record, but such an act of mercy would soothe bruised egos, calm public inflammation, reduce scarring and be a method of face-saving. We can well understand the growth of her wart-infatuation (who doesn't envy a well-formed wart or a mighty mole?), and do not wish to lump her with other more freckled criminals. She needn't carry the stigma of her mottled crime like a birthmark for the rest of her life. Yours truly, Verruca Vulgaris Coordinator of Stumps, Bumps and Boils North Downs Renaissance Festival
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
10-27-2008, 09:36 AM | #1317 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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what sort of con vict is she?
What I want to know is, is it con tro' versy Esty has engaged in, or con' troversy?
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
10-27-2008, 09:50 AM | #1318 | |
Alive without breath
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Quote:
I was just looking at the next P&A I'm to upload... I REALLY hope Morm isn't offended or disgusted by it...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-28-2008, 10:29 AM | #1319 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Quote:
I think Esty would have greater fun going after Hell Brueghel, given his taste for the warty and weird, but she still faces the ineffable problem we all face: Which Bruegel is a Bruegel? ~ I swear I never made another Bruegel Ka
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
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10-28-2008, 11:09 AM | #1320 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Not too long until the 31st!
Hey Esty, you can go ahead and keep those warts, I really have no use for them. Let's just hope that Aganzir won't have to kiss me (that really was gross Hookbill).
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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