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07-25-2007, 02:10 PM | #12681 |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Quite differently...
Túrin and his men wait to ambush Harry Potter.
Túrin: "We'll see if that little boy will be able to face me, son of Húrin, bearer of the Dragon Helm of Dor-Lómin. Beleg, when he comes near, shoot him down from his broom-" Beleg: "Well, he doesn't have the broom anymore-" Túrin: "How do you know? - Traitor!!!" OR Túrin: "Morgoth! Do you hear me? I have a proposal! Let's make a pact against greater enemy: I bring down that boy and you can smash that thing with funny nostrils, Voldemort!"
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
07-27-2007, 02:39 PM | #12682 |
Wight
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After 4 hours of speech making, unknown to Turin, his men were beginning to snooze.
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07-27-2007, 02:57 PM | #12683 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Turin: Behold! a new picture!
Frodo: Sam, i don't think were in kansa's anymore
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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07-27-2007, 10:36 PM | #12684 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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What! Only outhouses! The brochure "Your trip to Mordor" didn't indicate this. It gave the impression that this was a themed resort with world-class amenities.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
07-28-2007, 01:08 AM | #12685 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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I'm lost without Sam
'I wouldn't be so lonely and scared if Peter hadn't skipped this chapter when he pretended to read the book'.
'What's that big Gorilla doing here?' .
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
07-28-2007, 01:17 AM | #12686 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Shelob was actually a thousand times scarier to begin with. Here we have Frodo seeing Shelob wearing Lipstick, eyeliner and high heels asking him if he is 'looking for a good time'.
Seconds later Frodo fled back to the Shire and never stopped screaming... Ever. OR Frodo witnesses the terror of rap singing Ents.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
07-28-2007, 04:25 AM | #12687 |
Wight
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Frodo: GOSH
or Frodo struts down the cat walk showing off the new spider web sash.
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God created night, but man created darkness.... |
07-28-2007, 07:42 AM | #12688 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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For all those Aussies who may read this and have seen that Qantas ad...
Frodo: I've been to cities that never close down... Sam (joining in): From New York to Rome, to old London town, Gollum: But no matter how far, or how wide I roam... Random Orc: I still call - Mordor - home! All: I still - call - Mor - dor home!! (Yes yes, I know that was a bit vague ) |
07-29-2007, 03:45 AM | #12689 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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'Shelob, I know you desperately want a partner, but I'm - not - a - spider.'
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07-29-2007, 01:22 PM | #12690 |
Wight
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Frodo just realizes that a bird dropping splatted on his head.
Frodo: Why me? Why me? Why does it always have to be me and not Aragorn? |
07-30-2007, 07:08 AM | #12691 |
Guard of the Citadel
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxon
Posts: 2,205
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Frodo desperately tries to find an answer for one of Legate's riddles after beeing challenged to a riddle-game.
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“The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.”
Delos B. McKown |
07-30-2007, 03:52 PM | #12692 |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Frodo seemed to freeze, as he saw the tall figure standing in the corner. The scar on his forehead burned with pain. "No!" he shrieked, but then came a flash of green light...
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
08-01-2007, 09:55 AM | #12693 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Frodo is now able to answer the questions that has plagued man, hobbit, elf, dwarf and orc alike. What do spider droppings look and feel like.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
08-01-2007, 12:22 PM | #12694 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Trudging through Shelob's Lair, Frodo had a disturbing thought. "Are there any IRS agents here?"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
08-03-2007, 01:48 PM | #12695 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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ME johnny on the job...
Frodo did stuble upon an abomination in Cirith Ungol out of sheer necessity - one of those "portable restrooms" that are invariably messy beyond belief.
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08-03-2007, 01:54 PM | #12696 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Nazgul narrator: And here we have a very rare, and very rarely seen "Holbytla", once thought to be hunted into extinction. What it is doing so far from its home has yet to be seen, perhaps it's some sort of migration. We've been following it for leagues and leagues....garn, Khamul! It saw you again! It'll go into a hole and we'll never find out what it's doing here!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
08-10-2007, 01:07 PM | #12697 |
Laconic Loreman
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On the wall Frodo spots a new pic!
Legolas: You told me a harmless little bunny guarded the cave! You said nothing about a PO'ed bear with a laser beam on his head! Gandalf: A mere over sight my lad.
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Fenris Penguin
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08-10-2007, 01:17 PM | #12698 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Legolas points out to Gandalf that those pesky Hobbits have tied his beard to a rock again.
OR Gandalf gives up on trying to point out to Legolas that those pesky hobbits have tied his hair to a rock again.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
08-10-2007, 02:01 PM | #12699 | |
Laconic Loreman
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Quote:
Legolas can't believe it when Gandalf says he's going to have to cut his hair to get him loose!
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Fenris Penguin
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08-10-2007, 03:43 PM | #12700 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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Legolas: "Come on, really, come say hello. They aren't so scary once you get used to them."
Gandalf: "B..b...uuutt. I don't like fangirls."
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
08-10-2007, 10:06 PM | #12701 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Leggy: Here, let me help you down old man. *rips Gandy's arm off* AIIIIIIII!!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
08-11-2007, 12:37 PM | #12702 |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Legolas: Oh, look! Why is your beard moving so strange?
Gandalf: That's because the wind is blowing.
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
08-11-2007, 05:40 PM | #12703 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Gandalf: "Don't worry, Legolas. I wasn't traumatized by losing half my beard in a freak barber accident, I'm upset that Butterbur forgot my Valinorian name."
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
08-12-2007, 01:49 AM | #12704 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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After Legolas asks for the four billionth time, "Are we there yet?" Gandalf is really tempted to pull the trap-door opening leaver.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
08-12-2007, 02:37 AM | #12705 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Legolas looks for the switch that makes the Gandalf figure say 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS'
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
08-12-2007, 04:00 AM | #12706 |
Wight
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Legolas trys to help Gandalf over come his fear of dwaves...
Legolas:come on Gandalf its only Gimli Gandalf hides behind the rock
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God created night, but man created darkness.... |
08-12-2007, 11:45 AM | #12707 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Joker Legolas slyly sets Gandalf's hat on fire.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
08-12-2007, 05:41 PM | #12708 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Gandalf is ready to face the army of Uruks, but Legolas can't look away from Gandalf's ear hair.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
08-12-2007, 06:13 PM | #12709 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Legolas tries to help Gandalf through yet another uncloaking transformarion, but it is useless, the cloak has taken over his senses...
************************** Gandalf: Oh great! The Crazy Caption Squad has found us again... ~ Ka
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
08-13-2007, 07:08 AM | #12710 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Gandalf: (muttering) ... warned them, but did they listen to me? Well it's always the same, I always tell them, oh it's just a harmless little bunny isn't it...
Legolas: G-Gandalf? Gandalf: (awakes from stupor) Huh? What? Just a dream... *OR WAS IT?* |
08-14-2007, 02:03 PM | #12711 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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Old habits die hard and as a former patrol leader of the First Mirkwood Boy Scouts, Legolas was always on the look out for a chance to do his good deed of the day:
Gandalf :"But I don't want to cross the road..."
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
08-20-2007, 10:00 PM | #12712 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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As Gandalf begins to survey the battlefield, Legolas begins to pickpocket his wallet...
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08-22-2007, 07:24 PM | #12713 |
Wight
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Leggy considers growing a beard.
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08-22-2007, 09:14 PM | #12714 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Gandalf:did you get the license plate number of that oliphaunt?
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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08-26-2007, 10:53 PM | #12715 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Big Magic
Legolas: Have you been at that Ent-brew again, I'm sure you're taller than when we set out.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
08-31-2007, 12:45 PM | #12716 |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Sorry for the size, I wasn't able to resize it...
Legolas: Come, Gandalf, to see the new picture...
Galadriel and Boromir fight over the Holy Grail.
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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08-31-2007, 01:32 PM | #12717 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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No one but the Dwarves really grasped the whole concept of a 'drinking game'.
OR When 'Pass the Parcel' is just a little too easy...
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
08-31-2007, 02:15 PM | #12718 |
Wight
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Eowyn glared at Aragorn, furious that he did not consider her capable of drinking without smashing the cup on the ground.
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08-31-2007, 04:14 PM | #12719 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Eowyn wished that Aragorn would keep his hair out of his eyes.
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
08-31-2007, 07:33 PM | #12720 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Galadriel: Don't look now, but it seems as if someone has spilled tea on our background.
Aragorn: Why are our heads so flat?
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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