Funny lyrics that LOTR characters would never sing

[Arwen Evenstar the Fair]

LOL!!!!!!!!!! I love these you guys!!!!!!!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I might just die laughing!!!!!!!

[Mlo]

Hehehe, ok, this one is lame...

Ringwaiths sing about Frodo and Sam:

They'll be comin' round the mountain
When they come,
They'll be comin' round the mountain
When they come,
They'll be comin' round the mountain,
They'll be comin' round the mountain,
They'll be comin' round the mountain,
When they come.


They'll be drivin' poor old Gollum
When they come,
they'll be drivin' poor old Gollum
When they come,
They'll be drivin' poor old Gollum,
They'll be drivin' poor old Gollum,
They'll be drivin' poor old Gollum,
When they come,


Oh, we'll all go out to kill them
When they come,
Oh, we'll all go out to kill them
When they come,
Oh, we'll all go out to kill them,
Oh, we'll all go out to kill them,
Oh, we'll all go out to kill them,
When they come.

[Mintyztwin]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Ohmigosh!!!!! That is soooo incredibly funny!!!! BTW the "We are the Hobbits who don't do anything" was awsome! I'm going to wander around singing that! I was considering doing just this type of thread, actually, but it's been done! so . . .

Unfortunatly, I don't know about 75% of the songs you guys are singing. But I made up one for Sauron that went to "I am the very model of a moderrn major general" from Pirates of Penzance! (Gilbert and Sullivan). If nobody knows what that is, go find out!! Anyhoo, here it is:

Sauron: "I am the very model of an evil Middle Earth Maiar,
I hate the elves and dwarves and men, and 'specialy the great Valar,
My masters gone, he's far away, I don't obey him anymore,
Instead I try to take control of everyone both near and far . . .

I made a certain evil ring, that can control 'most everything,
But now it's lost, and I can't find the hobbit, who has got my ring.
I'll find him soon, I will in deed, and when I do, most certainly, *certainly, certainly . . . got it!*
A dead hobbit he will be, forever in eternityyyyyyyyyy!"

(Ringwraiths, and Orcs) "A dead hobbit he will be forever in eternity, a dead hobbit he will be forever in eternity, a dead hobbit he will be forever in eterni-terni-tyyy!"

It's lame if you don't know the music, but hey! Everyone should know the Pirates of Penzance!!! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ November 06, 2002: Message edited by: Mintyztwin ]

[Diamond18]

Oh, *gaaaaaasp* I'm so lucky I know the music to that, because it's hilarious!!!!

Here's another spoof on that song: The Elements

[Aiya]

Oh yeeeess! I do know that song! *hyperventilates*...

These are all -hilarious-!

Here's one pathetic attempt, by moi. Hopefully you'll all know the tune...

Rule all of that world sung by Sauron (Part of your world – Disney’s “Little Mermaid”)

Look at this orc
Isn't he neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the Maiar?
The lord who has ev'rything?
Look at this heap
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Lookin' around here you'd think
(Sure) he’s got everything

I've got balrogs and demons aplenty
I've got orcs and goblins galore
(You want urak-hai?
I got twenty)
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more!

Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' fool
Wish I could rule
All of that world.

What would I give
If I could live
Outta these fires?
What would I pay
To spend a day
With that ring upon my finger?
Wouldn’t ya think,
They’d not understand
All the powers that it could give me,
Middle Earth,
All it’s people,
On their knees.

And ready to know what the wise ones know
Torture ‘em wizards,
And get some answers
What's a hobbit and
Why won’t it
Come here and burn?

When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love
Finally take my place on the throne,
Over them all,
Wish I could rule
All of that world

[Mintyztwin]

Yay! Someone knew the music to my ridiculous little post! Joy! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] And I am seriously going to wander around singing these lyrics! (More odd looks! Yay!) [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Aryan]

lol...these are sooooooo funny, i have one from our film of lotr that we are making
(to the tune of it's a long way to Tipereri)

it's a long way to mount doom
it's a long way to go
it's a long way to mount doom
to destroy the evil ring
goodbye bag end
farewell hobbiton too
its a long long way to mount doom
but we're going there

(sung by Frodo and Sam)

[Mintyztwin]

Okay, I just had computorical problems. Ah well. Okay, everyone's seen Hello Dolly!, right? Good! (If you haven't I'm really sorry, 'cause then this will make no sense.)

Treebeard and other Ents to "It takes Woman"

"It takes an Entwife, all leafy and green, to sweep up the fall leaves, and keep forests clean!

And it takes an Entwife, with long slender branches, for trimming the hedges, and watching for axes!

Yes it takes an Entwife, a leafy Entwife, a sweetheart, a pretty, Entwife!

Oh yes it takes an Entwife, a leafy Entwife, to bring you the sweet things in life!"
*Treebeard: "Hmm . . . songs a little hasty."*

[Mintyztwin]

Okay, I got another one!

tune of "Call on Dolly" from Hello Dolly!

chorus: "Call on Gandalf! He's the one the hobbits recomomend, just name the kind of evil villian, that you are dealing with, he'll show up, and help you out, and send you on a hard quest, call on Gandalf! If you got a ring that isn't yours!"

Random person: "Tell me Mister Gandalf, wha'ts in all this for you?"
Gandalf: "A living, sir, some people paint, some sew, I meddle."

"When a kind little hobbit soul,
finds ring that he can't call his own, surely it's obvious he won't go on his own, although the Ring can't remain,
It has got to be destroyed!
so I put my hand in there! I put my hand in there."

I'll go on later.

[ November 11, 2002: Message edited by: Mintyztwin ]

[Nevtarmawen Greenleaf]

Sung by Sam:
Gandalf got ran over by a Nazgul, [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
Comin home from Isengard one nice eve,
Some of you may not believe in Sauron, [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
But as for me and Frodo we believe!

[Nimrothiel]

ROFL! These are great! Here's my own lame attempt.

All the Small Things sung by Frodo

All the small things, dwarves and halflings.
I'l take the One Ring, if Gandalf's leading.
Always! I know. Samwise will follow.
Watching, helping, loyalty everlasting.

Why must it be so?
I shouldn't have to go;
But if Gandalf leads on,
Then I will follow.

na na na...

Dark as night in Mordor.
Bruised and beaten on the floor.
Samwise brought orc-clothes through the door,
I shall wear them nevermore.

Why must it be so?
I shouldn't have to go,
But if Gandalf leads on,
Then I will follow.

na na na...

*musical inturlude*

Why must it be so?
I shouldn't have to go,
But if Gandalf leads on,
Then I will follow.
Sam support me still,
With your stong will,
Help me go on, or the quest'll come to nil.

Sam support me still,
With your strong will,
Help me go on, Help me go on
Or the quest'll come to nil.

Not the best, but I tried.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 5:38 PM December 22, 2003: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]

[LadyElbereth]

lol, that was great, Nimrothiel. Also, Welcome to the Downs! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Armadoin]

Hey Nimrothiel, I will not reveal to anyone what your true name is [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] you can be rest assured!! That was a good one! I didn't get to read the whole thing before you put it on. I liked the Sam part.

[Erana]

THOSE ARE SO FREAKING FUNNY I COULD DIE right nojw!!!!
[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Mintyztwin]

Okay, this is a total spinoff on Annie, and I didn't even change the words really, but this is all ya' get folks! I is tired.

Gollum after snatching the ring from Frodo:
"Together at last! Together forever! We're tyin' a knot! That no one can sever! [Begins to jig madly] I don't need sunshine now to turn my skies to blue! I don't need anything, but [trips, falls into Mount Doom] Preciouuuuussssssssssssssss!!!!!" *poof*

The scene in my head is funny! If you can't see it, sorry! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[galadwen29]

to my fave song of the moment sk8er boy. i'm still learning the words but i thought of these.

gimli:
sorry legolas you've missed out
you don't know what loves about
me and galadriel are more than friends
this is where us really ends

galadriel:
he was a drawf, i was an elf
couldn't be any more obvious
i gave him some of my golden curls
now we rock each others world

ok i am really really bad
[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

[Nimrothiel]

ROFL! I just saw the movie "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?", and i think that with a little tweaking to the lyrics the song "I am a Man of Constant Sorrow" would be perfect for Gandalf. (I don't have the time to post it right now, but I might later. Or someone else could do it and save me the trouble.)

[charly]

OMG!!!!! Those are soooooooooooo funny!!! I loved them!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] *rollsonfloorchokingwithlaughter*

Not to forget these chants from which the Fellowship took its strenght to fullfill its task:

I love you
You love me
we´re a happy Fellowship
with a great big hug
and the journey to Mount Doom
won´t you say you love me too?

HighHo, High Ho
it´s with the ring we go
lalalalalalalala(*whistle*)
High Ho, High Ho

Sam and Frodo, Gimli, Gandalf and Co.
Fellowship, Fellowship
says hello! Ah-oh!(that was the Teletubbies)
[img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Orual]

LOL, Nimrothiel! I love blink-182! That is so funny!

I'll try to come up with something, I'm not bad at filks. I did one for ReBoot one time...a 9Days song...hey, that one might work...let's see...

(goes to get some paper)

~*~Orual~*~

[Ainahithiel of Mirkwood]

well, it's offical


We are all geeks.


POWER TO THE GEEKS MAN!!!!


P.S.- I love the 'Hello Dolly' posts and the Sk8ter boy thing..

You people rock! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Melephelwen]

I bet this one wont be known by nay other than Danes (I don't think anybody else knows the song - our Popstars contestant does it)
Christine Milton with "Superstar" (sung by Boromir)

I don't know what it is
that makes me feel like this
I don't know what you bring
but you must be some kind of super ring
and you look like you have dominated lots of kings
you just make me wanna sing

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

when the hobbits come into Mordor they could hear Kylie Minogue's "Come Into My World"
Oh, Oh come into my world
Oh, Oh Come into my world!
These claws they've been made for killing
And these Orcs have been made for it too.
And this eye has been made for watching over YOU!!
And this Ring is for destruction
And these Nazgul will strike at you.
And Shelob with her poison venom will strike too...
thats all i could come up with!! sorry if it stinks

[Gamja]

This isn't a complete one...sorry.

Sung to that Christmas tune I don't know the name of:

Orc heads roasting on an open fire, Elves and Men nipping at a troll...

It's really lame, sorry. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

[Kirsanne_Tolebrass]

Y'all are crazy!!!

[MerryBrandybuck04]

Frodo in moria:
I get knocked down, but i get up again! you ain't never gonna keep me down.....
(smashmouth)

[Nevvasaiel]

Theme songs..

Boromir : Die Another Day (Madonna)

Legolas: Dirty (Christina Aguilera) * minus the PG-rated lyrics, of course.. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Arwen: Come what may (Moulin Rouge)

Pippin: I'm just a kid (Simple Plan?)

Gimli: any song from the movie 'Vertical Limit' [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Aragorn: Queen of My heart... (Westlife)

Frodo: Hero

Sam: Slave... to love

Gandalf: (to Pippin) You make me sick (pink)

[Nevvasaiel]

ok, ok, I know I'm Lame.... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Nari]

*Saruman steps up to the mic*

Give me tiiiiime.... to realize my crime..... Let me loooooove... and steaaaaaaal... I have daaaaaanced.... innnnsiiiiiiide your eyyyyyyyyes.... how can looooooove...... be reaaaaaaaaaaaaal...


*A bunch of uruk-hai in leisure suits enter behind him, singing chorus*

Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?.....

[Nevtarmawen Greenleaf]

frodo to sauron...to the tune of "hey mickey" sung by bwitched
oh sauron you're so mean youre so mean u blow my mind, hey sauron! hey sauron!(repeat 4 times)
you've been around forever, and thats a little long, you want the ring, but its mine so you're wrong, why can't you say goodbye, and let me keep the ring, sauron?

cause when you say you'll kill, it always turns to me, you're given me the chills sauron please sauron don't, every time you still take my precious ring sauron

chorus [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img]h sauron what a pity you don't understand, that i have the ring, its on my hobbit hand, oh sauron its so pretty, can't you understand, it's freaks like you sauron, oh what you do sauron do sauron, dont take the ring sauron

now when you made those ugly orcs, everyone knows, everytime they move, my sword sting starts to glow, i'm gonna beat your butt, so don't run away sauron
so come on and give it to me anyway you can, anyway you want to and i'll take it like a man,the fellowship will kill you in mordor sauron!

chorus

oh sauron you're so mean......


ok it wasnt that good but oh well!

[Sword Maiden Of The Shire]

OK I got one!

(To the tune of "Viva Forever" by: Spice Girls")

(Sauron) Evil forever...I'll be waiting... Everlasting like the One.

(Sauron, Orcs, and Nazgul. Swaying angelicly, with high voices) Live forever...for the moment...Ever searching.. For the ONE!

Ok it may not be hilarious, but it at least makes you smile!!

[Merry]

I just would like to say to The Thriceling "You took my idea" *whines* j/k But at the same time "Yea!! Some one else likes veggie tales!!" This is the only parody I've ever written

To the tune of "The Pirates Who Don't do Anything"

we are the Nazgul who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you...we don't do anything

(Nazgul 1)
Well I've never been to Mordor
and I've never been to Gondor
And I've chased a hobbit
In St Louis or St. Paul
And I've never been to Mirkwood
And I've never been to Rohan
And I've never been to Boston in the Fall

cuz we're the Nazgul who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you...we don't do anything

(nazgul 2)
And I've never fought a Ranger
And I've never chased a she-elf
And I'm to good at fencing
cuz I never fight at all
And I've never stabbed a hobbit
And I've never fought a shield maid
And I've never been to Boston in the Fall

cuz we're the Nazgul who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you...we don't do anything

(Nazgul 3)
We'll Ive never plucked a roster
And I;m not to good at ping-pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatatoes
up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
and I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

(Nazgul 1)
Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a nazgul?

(Nazgul 2)
Ya that's right. We're suposed to sing about Nazul-y things

(Nazgul 3)
Oh

(Nazgul 1) And who's ever kissed a chipmunk&gt; That's just nonsense. Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think

(NAzgul 2)
I think you look like the Witch king

(Nazgul 1)
What? no I dont'

(Nazgul 2)
Do too

(Nazgul 1)
DO not

(Nazgul 2)
You're making me vengful

(Nazgul 1)
That's it, your getting some of this *draws sword*

(Nazgul 2)
Says who?

(Nazgul 1)
Says the king that's who

(Nazgul 2)
Oh yea? Yessir WItch King

(Nazgul 1)
Shriiiieeeeekkk

(Nazgul 2)
Yipe

*Nazgul 1 chases around Nazgul 2*

(Nazgul 3)
And I've never licked a spark plug
and I've never sniffed a stinck bug
And I've never painted daisies
On a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
AndI don't look good in leggings

(Nazgul 1)
You just don't get it

(All)
And we've never been to Boston in the fall.

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Sung by Pippin after they are rescued by Treebeard:
At first i was afraid, I was petrified!
I thought that I would surely die, with Merry by my side!
Because Grishnakh unsheathed his sword and he put it to my neck,
But then the Men, they came and shot him in the back!

So now we're safe!
We're with an Ent!
He just walked up and found us here with terror still upon my face.
He picked us up off of the ground.
And set us on his arm.
Our tale was told,
Treebeard will do us no wrong!

And we're alive!
We will survive!
Oh, Merry and I, we'll be with the Ents
To keep us safe from harm.
Cuz we spent so many nights
Wondering how we'd see it through.
And now we do!
We'll storm I-sen-gard!

Well, thats about it. I think i messed up on the second section, im quite sure i did. But pplease please let me know if they suck. THanx much!

[Oliphaunts_Rule]

He He He He, Merry!
If any ones ever listened to the radio, they've heard this song!
Its called "For dinner", based on the song, "Only time" by Enya.
It doesn't take place in any part of the movie, I just picture them wadeing in water with a rolling ocean behind them, with a lot of camera close ups and them kicking the waves. *Wierd*
[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

*for dinner*
(Gandalf)
who could say if my beard grows
if my mind knows
what I find
(Frodo)
and who could say what the cook made
oh, that one day
for dinner

e da da day
e da da day
e da da day
e da day

(Leggie)
what could poses me to sing
in a rosie ring
a sick mind
who could pick out my shampoo
and feed me gruel
for dinner

e da da day
e da da day
e da da day
e da day

(Aragorn)
what will take away the smell
of an greening dell
dirty shoes
and who might arugue with me
will have to be
for dinner

have to be, for dinner

e da day
e da day
e da day
e da day
e da day

(Pippin)
Pints rolling down my throat
and on my cloak
for dinner
(Merry)
Pip, I told you not to eat
such unbalenced things
for dinner

what for?, for dinner
what for?, for dinner

[Sleepy Ranger]

I have one

One Love by Blue is now One Ring by Frodo

It's Kinda funny how life can change, can flip 180 in a matter of days.
Sometimes quests work in mysterious ways,
One day you wake up lost without a trace.

I refuse to give up, I refuse to give in,
Or the world will go.
I don't wanna give up, I don't wanna give in
So Samwise Gamgee take Sting.

One ring to rule the world,
One ring for the times I almost died,
One ring gotta destroy, I will survive,
One ring for Shelob's lair
One ring oh I do believe,
One ring is a thing we don't need

Late at night out, Still very hungry,
This is all I can take.
I thought my quest would end easy,
Now I know thats one big mistake

I refuse to give up, I refuse to give in,
Or the world will go.
I don't wanna give up, I don't wanna give in
So Samwise Gamgee take Sting.

[Orominuialwen]

There are LotR parodies of Beatles songs on this thread. Please post on it because it is very cool! Also, this thread is of general song parodies.This thread also has lots of good ones.

(to the tune of "Blue" from Eifel 65)

Yo listen up here's the story,
About a little guy that wondered in an evil world,
And all day and all night and every thing he sees is just evil,
Unlike him inside and outside,
An evil dark mountain,
With an evil spout of fire,
And a evil dark lord,
And everything is evil with him,
And himself and all his servants around,
Cuz they've been look'n...
For...that little dude,

[frodo]
Oh I'm a fugitive in Mordor alright,
Oh me and Sam are gonna die,
Through this darkness of time,

------------
okay, so if I think of more i'll update this.
I encourage you who don't know the tune to "Blue" from eifel 65 that you look it up, this song isn't much good if you don't know the tune.

(to the tune of "All Star" by Smash Mouth)

Gandalf once told me,
I needed somone for me,
to come with me to destroy that ring,
He was look'n kinda wise,
With those big grey shiny eyes,
And a tall hat to add to his height..

------------------------------------------
dang it! I had the rest a moment ago!
Oh well, I'll be back [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

[Nimrothiel]

Roflmao!!!!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] These are great! I've got one that I've been working on for awhile:

Arwen in the Sky with Diamonds ~ (parody of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” by the Beatles)

Picture yourself in a boat on a river
With mallorn trees and sapphire skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl who has clear grey eyes.

Lothlorien’s flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the stars in her eyes,
And she’s gone.

Refrain:
Arwen in the sky with diamonds!
Arwen in the sky with diamonds!
Arwen in the sky with diamonds!
Ah…Ah

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain,
Where Elves of Lorien eat cakes of lembas.
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.
Riders of Rohan appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Mounted on horseback with your head in the clouds,
And you’re gone.

*Refrain*

Picture yourself on a tower in Gondor,
With mighty stone pillars and clear Elven glass.
Suddenly someone is there at the gateway,
The girl with the clear grey eyes.

*Refrain (repeats and fades)*

(This should probably go in the "Beatles' parodies" but oh well.) [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Everdawn]

Legolas: I feel prety! Oh so pretty! and witty! and Gayyyyyy!

And Éowyn singing "i wanna be loved by you" by Marilyn Monroe [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Tinuviel of Denton]

Well, this isn't precisely a parody, but it is definitely different from the original.

In My Own Little Corner, from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella

(The first part doesn't change, but the rest of it does. Drastically. But for those of you who don't know the song, here is the beginning as well.)

I'm as mild and as meek as a mouse.
When I hear a command, I obey.
But I know of a spot in my house
Where no one can stand in my way.

In my own little corner,
In my own little chair,
I can be whatever I want to be.
On the wings of my fancy I can fly anywhere
And the world will open its arms to me.

I'm a lovely elvish princess,
Or a Shire-maid.
I'm the bravest shieldmaiden in Rohan.
I'm a craftsman who has always had her jewels made,
By her own 'fiery spirit' in Aman.

I'm a Dwarf of the mountains,
My grand-sire is king, and my father is fearless in war.
Just as long as I stay in my own little corner,
All alone
In my own
Little chair.

[instrumental]

I can be whatever I want to be.
I'm a priestess of Umbar,
I'm a Queen in Gondor,
I'm a Maia dancing upon the sea.

I'm a princess who has gone to seek her lover.
He's a mortal man but he's the one for me.
So I've sent my guards into a peaceful slumber,
And I've climbed down by my hair from this tree.

We defeated a werewolf, I disguised as a bat,
And I faced the Dark Lord in his lair.
All the same, I'm back in my own little corner.
All alone,
In my own
Little chair.

(All of the replacements refer to specific canon characters, except for the Priestess of Umbar. I wonder if anyone can guess who . . .)

[Reprise (which has absolutely nothing to do with canon, and everything to do with the PPC)]

I'm in PPC headquarters of all places!
I'm slaying Mary-Sues, oh how fun.
And the t.error on their stupid little faces
Says to me, very clearly, job well done.

I am cruel and s.adistic to the Sues that I slay,
But to Canons, I'm gentle as can be.
And I don't plan to go back to my little corner.
I won't roam,
From my home,
PPC.

Yes, I'm strange. And quite proud of it.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 9:31 AM December 26, 2003: Message edited by: Tinuviel of Denton ]