Did Maedhros kill Laughter?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

Ask Hunthor how. He experienced the same thing.

You mean she's going to drop a rock on Glaurung's head? How could she lift a rock big enough to kill him? Dragon, remember.

[Urwen]

With help of her pets, of course!

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

With help of her pets, of course!

The geese? How?

[Urwen]

Like this:

Goose1:Glaurung,there's gold under that cliff!
Glaurung:Show me!

(Glaurung and Goose come under the cliff.Lalaith and other Goose are standing on that same cliff.They push large rock together...and Goodbye trouble.)

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

Like this:

Goose1:Glaurung,there's gold under that cliff!
Glaurung:Show me!

(Glaurung and Goose come under the cliff.Lalaith and other Goose are standing on that same cliff.They push large rock together...and Goodbye trouble.)

Nope, this is another plan that relies on Glaurung being a nitwit. He wasn't.

Not only that, it requires Lalaith and the geese to be much stronger than they possibly could be. We're talking biiiiig rock here.

[Urwen]

I...won't...give...up

But do you know that geese were Glaurung's friends before they discovered that Lalaith was better one to follow? He's gotta trust them!

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

I...won't...give...up

But do you know that geese were Glaurung's friends before they discovered that Lalaith was better one to follow? He's gotta trust them!

I don't think the bad guys trust even their "friends" all that much– "the treacherous are ever distrustful" you know. And Glaurung hanging out with geese? Don't buy it.

[Urwen]

Ok,you made me seriously angry, so her's my effort:

(Lalaith is sitting on ground, stroking two geese affectionately.)

Lalaith(concerned):What shall we do now? Water and rock trick failed....

Goose1(sighs):I do not know.

Goose2:I've got an idea!

Lalaith:What is it?

(Goose2 leanes towards Lalaith and whispers something in her ear.)

Lalaith:You know what? It just might work!




Goose2 approaches Glaurung.

Goose2:You know what!You're a sucker!

Glaurung:No,I'm not!

Goose2:I say you are!

(Lalaith sneaks up to them and rips Glaurung's backbone out)

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

Ok,you made me seriously angry, so her's my effort:

(Lalaith is sitting on ground, stroking two geese affectionately.)

Lalaith(concerned):What shall we do now? Water and rock trick failed....

Goose1(sighs):I do not know.

Goose2:I've got an idea!

Lalaith:What is it?

(Goose2 leanes towards Lalaith and whispers something in her ear.)

Lalaith:You know what? It just might work!




Goose2 approaches Glaurung.

Goose2:You know what!You're a sucker!

Glaurung:No,I'm not!

Goose2:I say you are!

(Lalaith sneaks up to them and rips Glaurung's backbone out)

*sigh*

Yet another plan that relies on Glaurung being ridiculously stupid and Lalaith having superhuman strength.

Sorry, Urwen. Rejected.

[Urwen]

Look you!I've got a super maniac plan now and if you reject it,I'll trap you in a sack!

Here it is:

(In a tavern,Lalaith and geese are sitting around the table,munching)

Lalaith:Have you got any other idea?

Goose1:Lemme think...Aha!

(An hour later,in Nargothrond,Lalaith and geese have Mim the dwarf tied up.)

Lalaith:Glaurung likes this treasure.Curse it!

Goose1:Or I'll rip your throat out!

Mim:I curse this treasure....

(Lalaith kills Mim and walks calmly out of Nargothrond, followed by geese.They rerurn to tavern and have a nice nap...)

I can't think of anything else...for now!

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by Urwen

And forever and ever I'll work to defend Lalaith's honour!

I don't think you actually know what honor is. Look it up.

Originally Posted by Urwen

5.Have Niniel marry Brandir and Lalaith marry Beleg.

You know, chances are Beleg was already married. According to the essay in Morgoth's Ring, The Laws and Customs of the Eldar, Elves usually married young (around the age of 150 years, as I recall). Beleg most likely was already married (albight without children, as elves tried not to have children during times of war). Moreover, Lalaith would not have been worried about marriage at her young age (unless she was rather creepy ).

Originally Posted by Urwen

(Lalaith kills Glaurung in a second,climbs on Goose1's back and flies off to far away)

Clearly these are no ordinary geese, but giant ones...

Originally Posted by Nerwen

The geese? How?

They are giant, remember?

Originally Posted by Nerwen

Not only that, it requires Lalaith and the geese to be much stronger than they possibly could be. We're talking biiiiig rock here.

Uber-giant geese, Nerwen! Keep up!

Originally Posted by Urwen

Look you!I've got a super maniac plan now and if you reject it,I'll trap you in a sack!

Here it is:

(In a tavern,Lalaith and geese are sitting around the table,munching)

Lalaith:Have you got any other idea?

Goose1:Lemme think...Aha!

(An hour later,in Nargothrond,Lalaith and geese have Mim the dwarf tied up.)

Lalaith:Glaurung likes this treasure.Curse it!

Goose1:Or I'll rip your throat out!

Mim:I curse this treasure....

(Lalaith kills Mim and walks calmly out of Nargothrond, followed by geese.They rerurn to tavern and have a nice nap...)

I can't think of anything else...for now!

...I can't even follow this one. What's the point again?

Another point: Lalaith does not seem to mind blood at all, but I do. Could you tone down the "rip out the backbone" and such like? Please?

[Mnemosyne]

Originally Posted by Loslote

I don't think you actually know what honor is. Look it up.

Actually, given how women's honor was defined throughout most of history, I don't think Lalaith's honor has ever been in question. She was, after all, very young when she died.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Loslote

You know, chances are Beleg was already married. According to the essay in Morgoth's Ring, The Laws and Customs of the Eldar, Elves usually married young (around the age of 150 years, as I recall). Beleg most likely was already married (albight without children, as elves tried not to have children during times of war). Moreover, Lalaith would not have been worried about marriage at her young age (unless she was rather creepy ).

Well, I've lost track of how old Urwen's er... interesting version of Lalaith is meant to be, but I'm hoping she's an AU Lalaith who lived to grow up. You may say that makes it hard to argue it's the same character, but when the alternative is a bizarre SuperBaby!Sue on a bloodthirsty killing spree...

Maybe you could clear this up, Urwen?

Originally Posted by Urwen

Look you!I've got a super maniac plan now and if you reject it,I'll trap you in a sack!

Mind if I ask.. you guessed it... how?

Originally Posted by Urwen

Here it is:

(In a tavern,Lalaith and geese are sitting around the table,munching)

Lalaith:Have you got any other idea?

Goose1:Lemme think...Aha!

(An hour later,in Nargothrond,Lalaith and geese have Mim the dwarf tied up.)

Lalaith:Glaurung likes this treasure.Curse it!

Goose1:Or I'll rip your throat out!

Mim:I curse this treasure....

(Lalaith kills Mim and walks calmly out of Nargothrond, followed by geese.They rerurn to tavern and have a nice nap...)

I can't think of anything else...for now!

Why and how? Don't get it.

[Nerwen]

Actually, if I squint really hard I can sort of discern a hazy glimmer of meaning– that Lalaith and her geese somehow transport the treasures of Nargothrond somewhere in order to induce Glaurung to do something, and that she had to somehow kill Mîm to do so.

But that absolutely and definitely won't work. By that point in the story, everyone was dead except Mîm, Húrin and Morwen. All over bar the shouting.

[Urwen]

I thought you liked her?

Of course I like her! I named myself after her!

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by Urwen

I thought you liked her?

Of course I like her! I named myself after her!

Where'd this come from?

[Urwen]

Her original name is Urwen.

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by Urwen

Her original name is Urwen.

No, I got that bit. But who asked if you liked her? I couldn't find that bit.

[Urwen]

Nerwen asked.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Loslote

No, I got that bit. But who asked if you liked her? I couldn't find that bit.

She's talking about these posts.

And Urwen– to quote from someone else's post, just hit the "quote" button. It's on the lower righthand side.

[Urwen]

I see. And Morgoth would trust them... why, exactly?

For same reason the SoF trusted Ulfang...

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

For same reason the SoF trusted Ulfang...

You mean because they had no idea they were, or ever had been, allied with the enemy?

Nope. Not the same situation at all.

REJECTED.

Please try again.

[Nerwen]

So let's just review these "Lalaith Saves The World And Lives Happily Ever After" scenarios of yours shall we, Urwen?

1. Lalaith saves Niniel from Glaurung by distracting her. REJECTED.

2. Lalaith drugs Glaurung. REJECTED.

3. Lalaith proves she didn't kill the butterfly. REJECTED.

4. Lalaith double-crosses Morgoth at Dagor Dagorath. REJECTED. Twice.

5. Lalaith gets Beleg to marry her. REJECTED.

7. Lalaith kills Glaurung "in a second". Somehow. REJECTED.

8. Lalaith kills Glaurung by dropping a rock on his head. REJECTED.

9. Lalaith rips Glaurung's backbone out with her bare hands. REJECTED.

10. Lalaith plunders Nargothrond and uses the proceeds to change the past. Or something. Somehow. REJECTED.

SCORE: 0 OUT OF 10.

Pending:

Lalaith puts lizard into Morgoth's cushion. For some reason.

Lalaith persudes Niniel to marry Brandir instead of Turin.

Lalaith sails into the West with Beleg, Turin, Niniel, Brandir and the geese.

I'm really looking forward to seeing you tackle that last one.

[Nerwen]

Tell you what, though, I'm in a generous mood. You can have another shot at 5., Urwen, provided you clear up how old Lalaith is meant to be at the time. (As in, not three, I hope.)

I mean, we don't know if Beleg was married already, and he was certainly a sucker for punishment...

Over to you.

[Nerwen]

Note that this particular project has two parts: first, of course, Lalaith has to prevent Turin from killing Beleg. I mean, she can't very well marry him if he's dead.

Think you're up to that?

[Blind Guardian]

This has turned hilarious! Even though I have no clue what it's about...

[Urwen]

All right.Here's another one:

(Lalaith is 23 now. And she is taking another try at destroying ovegrown thing.Geese support her,as always.)

Goose1:You know,twenty years passed.We should be smarter now.

Goose2:Agreed.

Lalaith:And when this is all over we shall go to Valinor.

(Lalaith and geese descend from pass above Nen Lalaith)

To be continued...


This is only the first part.More are to come.What doth thou think?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Originally Posted by Urwen

More are to come.What doth thou think?

Oh please don't ask...

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by Urwen

What doth thou think?

Shouldn't it be "dost"?

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by Blind Guardian

This has turned hilarious! Even though I have no clue what it's about...

I don't think anyone does.

Originally Posted by Urwen

All right.Here's another one:

(Lalaith is 23 now. And she is taking another try at destroying ovegrown thing.Geese support her,as always.)

Goose1:You know,twenty years passed.We should be smarter now.

Goose2:Agreed.

Lalaith:And when this is all over we shall go to Valinor.

(Lalaith and geese descend from pass above Nen Lalaith)

To be continued...


This is only the first part.More are to come.What doth thou think?

I think this doesn't say anything. So now they've come up with their goals...and have gotten smarter...is that anything like leveling up? Just wondering.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

All right.Here's another one:

(Lalaith is 23 now. And she is taking another try at destroying ovegrown thing.Geese support her,as always.)

Goose1:You know,twenty years passed.We should be smarter now.

Uh. So she was only three previously. Wandering around Middle-earth on her own, hanging out in taverns, killing people, ripping out dragon-backbones– all at the age of three.

And you were planning to have Beleg marry a toddler?

Interesting.

Originally Posted by Urwen

Goose2:Agreed.

Lalaith:And when this is all over we shall go to Valinor.

(Lalaith and geese descend from pass above Nen Lalaith)

To be continued...


This is only the first part.More are to come.What doth thou think?

Well, how can we think anything yet, Urwen? Your Lalaith and her geese are big on goals– we knew that already. It's the achieving-them side of things where the problems arise.

[Urwen]

And as for the reason for putting lizard in Morgoth's cushion-well,he killed her(or at least,planned to).He deserves sort of payback,don't you think?

[Loslote]

Originally Posted by Urwen

And as for the reason for putting lizard in Morgoth's cushion-well,he killed her(or at least,planned to).He deserves sort of payback,don't you think?

Wow. From ripping out a backbone with her bare hands to putting a lizard under a cushion...is it just me, or is Lalaith a bit unstable?

And congrats on your 100th post.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

And as for the reason for putting lizard in Morgoth's cushion-well,he killed her(or at least,planned to).

And... oh... maybe one or two other people as well.

Originally Posted by Urwen

He deserves sort of payback,don't you think?

In what possible sense does that constitute a "payback", Urwen? It's just a lizard.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

*a chat skwerl peeks around the corner*

"This I will say to you: your thread stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will close..."


(This thread really does belong in Mirth, but since the moderator there shifted the responsibility back to me, I'm keeping an eye - both, as often as I can spare them - on the posts. Please remember to avoid too much chattiness, as it creates the impression of going off-topic. Thanks!)

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Originally Posted by Urwen

And as for the reason for putting lizard in Morgoth's cushion-well,he killed her(or at least,planned to).

It's a bit contradictory to ascribe blame to Morgoth now rather than Maedhros.

[Urwen]

And... oh... maybe one or two other people as well.

Which people?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

It's a bit contradictory to ascribe blame to Morgoth now rather than Maedhros.

Not just that. The only reason for doing this at all can only be to annoy Morgoth. I mean, some people, after going to the trouble of infiltrating Angband, might take the opportunity to do something little more productive, but no, Lalaith's merely going to play a lame, childish prank. (Why a lizard, of all things?)

Very well. She means to annoy him. Now as, we know, Morgoth doesn't respond well to being even slightly annoyed.

Remember what he did when Feanor slammed the door in his face? Or when Lalaith's own father told him a few home truths? Or when Maedhros–

...Maedhros...

–Wait a moment... that sounds familiar...

Tell me, Urwen, if Morgoth retaliates for the lizard incident by murdering yet more innocent people, will that mean Lalaith is the real killer?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Urwen

Which people?

Huh? I point out that Morgoth the Dark Lord might have killed, or caused to be killed, one or two characters other than Lalaith, and you're confused? Really?

Now I'm confused.

Come on, Urwen, 'fess up. You've been trolling us all the whole time, haven't you?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

*a chat skwerl peeks around the corner*

"This I will say to you: your thread stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will close..."


(This thread really does belong in Mirth, but since the moderator there shifted the responsibility back to me, I'm keeping an eye - both, as often as I can spare them - on the posts. Please remember to avoid too much chattiness, as it creates the impression of going off-topic. Thanks!)

Sorry, Esty– it's just that I don't think any of us are quite sure what's on-topic any more.