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#81 |
Beloved Shadow
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Unfortunately, the watcher in the water (from the gates of Moria) was in the lake.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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#82 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately, unbeknownced to most, the Watcher in the Water lives only on a strict diet of photoplankton (the kind only found in fresh water, zooloplankton live in salt water) AND deranged hobbits with mange...
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
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#83 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Unfortunately, Ulmo was passing by at that moment and sneezed (being allergic to Watchers in the Water), which sent the ring spinning thousands of feet up into the air.
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#84 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Where it was Fortunately caught on the nose of a passing Boeing 747.
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peace
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#85 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Unfortunately, the pilot who had just seen the first episode of Lost, sent the plane spiraling downwards onto an unknown Pacific island...
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#86 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately, after the plane crashed, the ring
came into the possession of one of the passengers, who warned the survivors that he had an unexplained presentiment that it would be dangerous to wear the ring---that some way must be found to destroy it (this after some considerable, ah, burping, after ingesting a great quantity of bananas).
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#87 |
Beloved Shadow
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Unfortunately, Mount Doom was well out of throwing range (actually, not even in the same world as the Pacific Ocean), so their resolve to destroy the Ring was utterly meaningless.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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#88 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,130
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Fortunately, the TV network saw great potential for a new show, so "Meanwhile, While Mt. Doom Burns" was soon on the air.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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#89 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Unfortunately the show was becoming more and more violent as the ring caused strife between the survivors.
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” Last edited by Kath; 04-06-2005 at 07:28 AM. Reason: Ah - spellings |
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#90 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Fortunately, that boosted up the ratings and the Fellowship were able to catch an episode on a palantir (because they only show the finest albeit most violent programming). So they set off to get the Ring back.
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
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#91 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Unfortunately, our world (jet airplanes et al) and the fantasy world of Middle-earth completely separated just as mysteriously as they had merged. The One Ring was assigned a new position in space by a rather embarrassed Eru, and the Fellowship, Ringwraiths and Gollum were all utterly confused and bewildered by the loss of the Ring. Sauron wasn't too chuffed either.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#92 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally.
Posts: 500
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Fortunately, Sam had packed a spare for just this sort of occasion.
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"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman. |
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#93 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Unfortunately, Galadriel had just leased it out to him, and was missing it terribly so she traded it for a box of dirt (Not just ANY dirt mind you, elven dirt!!!)
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? Last edited by THE Ka; 04-06-2005 at 12:21 PM. Reason: Joy Division's playing on the radio!! And I forgot a word!!! |
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#94 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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And fortunately Sam, being a brilliant gardener, was
able to use mulch, manure, etc. to make a mountain of semi-elvish dirt from the little bit of magic soil he got from Galadriel in return for the ring. Thereby amassing a huge fortune (Rosie being a brilliant entrepreneur, opening a chain of SamRos Supersoil Stores).
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#95 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Unfortunately, the company went into liquidation after Sam was seen dancing insanely after drinking some of the Gaffer's home brew and sam had to sell the ring off.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#96 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Fortunately the Kay Jewelers rep. who bought it ran into Gandalf at the pub the next town over and was advised to "Give that here. Now."
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peace
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#97 |
Illusionary Holbytla
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,547
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Unfortunately, the jeweler had already been quite corrupted by the Ring and after snapping, "It's mine. My precious. I won it from that stupid, fat, drunk hobbit, Precious," he high-tailed it out the back of the pub.
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#98 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Where he fortunately ran into a grumpy bouncer who asked him suspiciously why he was leaving so soon, why he was leaving so quickly, and what did he have to pay his way out the door.
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peace
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#99 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Unfortunately, the bouncer thought the jeweler was leaving
with his bill unpaid so he picked the jeweler up and shook him to get the money, at which the ring rolled out the door and was scooped up by an S-B using her umbrella!
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#100 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Fortunately, Lobelia (unbeknownst to all) was actually more powerful than Sauron, thus the Ring was in the hand of the only one who could resist it.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#101 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Unfortunately, she had no idea what it was and threw it into a Hobbit's field.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#102 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately (for the S-B's) Lotho found it and put it on.
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#103 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Unfortunately for Middle-earth, Lotho Sackville-Baggins had now become the new Dark Lord.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#104 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Fortunately this Dark Lord stuff was totally over his head and he got himself killed while trying to burn down Fangorn Forest. (He should have taken Denethor's advice about leaving the dirty work to others.)
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
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#105 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Unfortunately, Huorns really started liking that new-style hobbit brand fertilizer and went on a feeding rampage.
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peace
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#106 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately, the hobbits they ah (recycled) were
distant relatives of Gollum's living by the Anduin, after which they went chasing across the Anduin after some sexy entwives they saw across the river.
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#107 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Unfortunately, trees can't swim.
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peace
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#108 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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Fortunately, some Gondorians who were in the process of adding to the back of their houses found lots of material floating down the Anduin for big decks
they were making for putting shrimp on the barbie when King Elassar came to visit.
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#109 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Unfortunately, Aragorn had completely lost track of where this thread had gone to and called a general assembly to find out what was happening.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#110 |
Laconic Loreman
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Fortunately, Aragorn noticed a Gondorian jump in the Anduin yelling "MY Precious!"
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Fenris Penguin
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#111 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Unfortunately, he assumed that the Gondorian's wife had fallen into the river and jumped in to try and save her.
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peace
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#112 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Fortunately the Gondorian was wearing so much armour that he drowned before he could put the Ring on and Arry got hold of it before it sank to the bottom.
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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#113 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Unfortunately, Aragorn was to weak too handle the Ring, and when confronted by Gimli, he chopped the Dwarf's arm off in a demented fury.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond Last edited by Eomer of the Rohirrim; 04-12-2005 at 02:52 PM. Reason: o |
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#114 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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Fortunately, Dwarves always carry a spare.
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peace
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#115 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles)
Posts: 1,548
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And unfortunately for Aragorn, Gimli hurled the now
superfluous arm at him and as it spun towards Aragorn's eye he instinctively flung his arm up sending the ring flying into a passing ship.
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Aure Entuluva! |
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#116 |
Brightness of a Blade
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Fortunately, the ship was populated with the ghosts of evil Haradrim, who due to their already altered state, were in no need of invisibility rings, not to mention being unable to understand the luring of the Ring because it spoke in the Common language.
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And no one was ill, and everyone was pleased, except those who had to mow the grass. |
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#117 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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. . . the Ring spoke in the Haradrim tongue, and it tempted them with free doughnuts holes. Which the spectral types loved to eat.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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#118 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Fortunately the King of the Dead was allergic to the doughnut holes and was lucid enough to give the Ring to Frodo - who just happened to be passing through.
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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#119 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Unfortunately, it was a cruel ruse (Frodo really should have seen it coming). The Haradrim ghosts tied Frodo up on the sails of the ship and sailed off southwards, swiftly, sweetly and succintly, singing sea shanties of a salacious sort.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#120 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Fortunately, they used ghost rope and Frodo passed right thought it and was able to escape with ease.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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