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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
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#81 | |||
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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The Downer would like to apologise for the lack of inside stories last week. Due to a printing error, the last issue was full of water.
Letters to the Editor II Quote:
You stink. Quote:
All will become clear eventually. I hope. Quote:
No.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#82 |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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After a long day traveling way north with his dear enemy, a barrow-downer had been violently murdered! He was walking to the music-station to put on something nice when suddenly an innocent looking backstabber attacked him. In the evening on the 24th of September the member Volo was cut down and killed by a penguin. It wasn't the first time that Volo was fighting for his life against animals, but this was certaintly the most tragic attack ever. As he himself comments: "It was really uncomfortable to have a katana thrust through you, I was really angry with the whole mess!". The police suspects that this was done for the sake of revenge and the penguin was brainwashed by a real mastermind. The penguin was taken to a questioning. In the middle of the hearing the lights suddenly went out. When a new bulb was attached the police noticed that the penguin was gone. Later the same evening the same penguin was found murdered, by drowning. Clearly somebody got rid of a witness. All clues are to be left in the Which Downer Am I! -thread!
Last edited by Volo; 09-26-2006 at 01:07 PM. Reason: Just some mistakes... |
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#83 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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With every new week, there is new News in the new Newspaper...
Week 13 Linked to save on loading time. And who could forget the barely anticipated and much lamented new episode of The Phantom and Alien... P and A episode 11
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 10-02-2006 at 01:48 AM. |
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#84 |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Volo, your links don't work.
And penguins don't murder people!
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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#85 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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If you cannot see Volo's links, I'll put them here for ye to see!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#86 |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Thanks, Hookbill.
![]() Those are horrible! Volo, I seriously consider neg-repping you...! ![]() ![]()
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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#87 |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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Wasn't that the whole idea?
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#88 |
Spectre of Decay
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On a more positive note, the recent space-time anomalies have enabled me to escape from an eccentric temporal loop in which I had been trapped for some eight millennia. Fortunately my absence would appear to have been somewhat shorter in real time. If I seem oddly changed, it's because eight-thousand years of reading the last sentence of next week's Hansard is a more than usually life-changing experience. Public Order (Rudeness to Budgerigars) Act indeed!
p.s. Those letters to the editor are obvious fabrications. I am disgusted that they weren't properly disguised as real letters according to standard editorial practice.
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Man kenuva métim' andúne? |
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#89 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
![]() But anyway, here is some Downer Merchendise.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#90 | |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,589
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![]() Quote:
I personally find it much more unlikely that a penguin would die by drowning. Strapping dynamite to its flippers would have been more appropriate...and gory... ![]()
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... |
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#91 |
Reflection of Darkness
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull.
Posts: 2,983
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I am thoroughly frightened! Penguins have lived in my dorm as long as I have. And all seemed well until I read Volo's story. Ever since, I've noticed the penguins following me wherever I go, giving me these creepy looks....
![]() Take a look for yourself. I swear I'm not imagining it!
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
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#92 | ||
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Quote:
Quote:
*makes banners* SAVE INNOCENT PENGUINS FROM WRONGFUL ACCUSATIONS! PENGUINS DON'T DESERVE DEATH BY DROWNING OR BY DYNAMITE! STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST PENGUINS! ![]()
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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#93 |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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I bet YOU sent the penguin to assassinate me!
![]() ![]() Brinniel, that is frightening, we must stop the evil penguin mastermind! Lommy, help us and justice will be back and everybody (the, also the penguins) will live (or unlive) happily ever after. |
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#94 |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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A maia suspected for two murders
By Grise Echo
The murders of a 'downer and a penguin (who is suspected to have commited the murder) are about to be solved. The Central Wight Police (CWP) has made an order to arrest a maia spirit that lives in the seas near Helcaraxë. The maia, who remains anonymous, is previously suspected of capturing Elenwë, wife to Turgon of Gondolin, and the murders of five noldorin Elves of her household, including Turgon's nephew.
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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#95 | ||
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,589
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I have it on good authority that a certain Dark Power is actually attempting to replace orcs with penguins. It is a little known fact (that has hitherto gone unreported in the biased media) that the area where these poor innocent Elves (can you believe I just said that ![]() There was a certain O. C. Cobblepot who was investigating these developments, but he ended up glued to the hull of the Titanic. Clearly he was getting on to something. We can no more stop violence against penguins than we could against orcs.
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... |
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#96 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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All right, I think the Penguin discussion has reached a conclusion. I hear the snuffling of Chat Squirrels at the door. So, drop the subject and go home. But no one goes home empty handed! You each receive a Special Barrow Downs Hat!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#97 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Sorry to intrude on this newspaper’s site, but I found some disturbing posters when cleaning a chamber in one of the barrows furthest away from here. I thought it would be best to let this come to Hookbills, and all you other downers, attention as soon as possible. This was what the posters said:
Quote:
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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#98 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Goth-o.
The Downer wishes to reassure it's readers that these claims are as false as the stories in our Paper. Hope that clears things up for you all. Anyway... Culture Section: Films... The Best film you can expect to see this week is defiantly 'A Genuine Fairy Story' from the Director of such classics as; 'The Yule Log', 'Shadow of the West', and the controversial 'Power to the People'. Here the infamous Lalwende and the rest of the crew are caught up in a whirlwind of adventure and discovery. Wild fantasy mixed with in-depth intellectual debate. A great film all round. ![]() Plays: The only play making a stir at the moment is Mithalwen's Flying Circus. It had been called inappropriate due to the fact that several members of the audience have mysteriously disappeared under mysterious circumstances that have caused mystery to surround the mysterious play.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#99 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Ha-wey! Glad to see me mad ruminations on Faerie have inspired some Art. I blame those pixies I let into the house. I get the feeling this is not a Blockbuster of the Bruce-Willis-In-Sweaty-Eyuw-Vest type, more of an Ingmar Bergman where when you've watched it you go "Eh?" and have to have a lie down for a bit.
![]() Stop the press! Mithalwen's Flying Circus are in the process of making a new film which might stir up some controversy and attract X certificate ratings (and maybe even those little Red triangles you used to get on naughty Channel 4 films in the 80s, which were a good indicator of a quality watch to any home alone teenager). The new film will be The Life of Davem, featuring such funny and infinitely quotable lines as "He's not the messiah, he's a vewy naughty boy!" and the future hit song "Always Look On The Bright Side of Death". This will be followed up with another Hit Film with the working title "And Now For Something Not Entirely Different".
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Gordon's alive!
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#100 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Another week, another beak!
This week with a special report by Glirdan! ![]() ![]() And who could forget that wonderful duo! This week with a special guest star! ![]() ![]()
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#101 | |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,451
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Quote:
Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Barrow Wight.... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again. "
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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#102 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Films update:
This week at your local Barrow Film place, you can catch the new Film adaptation of The Downer's own 'Phantom and Alien'. It is a terrible film! Truly! As bad as the mini comic series is, this is ten times worse! The jokes are predictable and not funny, the acting is shabby and the computer graphics look like they were done on Power Point. Seriously, folks, leave it out of our plans. ![]()
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#103 | |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,990
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Quote:
I can't tell you Hookbill how hard it was getting the cast to remember their lines! They kept wanting to ad lib, so finally I just let them. ![]() ![]()
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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#104 |
Energetic Essence
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Oh, just to let you all know the interview done by Scary Gary was written by yours truly.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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#105 |
Beloved Shadow
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"Alien versus Phantom", eh? Following the "Alien versus Predator" format, I suppose? I guess that means we both die. How sad.
Just promise me this, HB- let me die with a black cloak on my back, a beautiful girl on my arm, and an arrogant statement on my tongue. That's all I ask.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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#106 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Ah, Mr Phantom, I was wondering when you might show up here. I do hope you are not insulted by any of the comic strips that you have been included in.
![]() If nothing else, you'll get some royalties from it.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#107 |
The Pearl, The Lily Maid
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hehehe...that seems a quite substantial phantom you have there, Hookbill. The 'Meat and Potatoes' Diet seems to be getting to him.
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<=== Lookee, lookee, lots of IM handles! |
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#108 | |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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![]() And to think that I only wanted to die after the last villager... ![]() ![]() |
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#109 | ||
Beloved Shadow
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Quote:
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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#110 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,645
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![]() Let's watch the chat on this thread. I've deleted a couple posts in the past because it was too chatty and I'd like to avoid that in the future.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
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#111 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Wow. The Downer has now been going on for 15 weeks! That's a long time!
This week, Volo has written a stroy for us. Unfortunatly, for some reason, this issue has been corupted when it was uploaded. I've tries several times to fix it, but this is as good as it could get (belive me, it used to be worse). ![]() And now... the moment you've all been not waiting for. With another Special guest... The Phantom and Alien Episode 13... ![]()
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#112 |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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Poor Rune...
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#113 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
![]() Hope he gets Rugged. There are going to be a few more star guests in upcoming episodes. So watch out for your favorite Downers having unfortunate encounters with Alien. ![]()
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#114 |
Silver in My Silent Heart
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If not for the "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Hookbill the Goomba again.", you would get reputation twice from me today. I rarelly laugh to somebody else's jokes
![]() ![]() EDIT: Well, thankee O Hookbillo! Last edited by Volo; 10-09-2006 at 01:25 PM. |
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#115 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Minimum blurring today, I think. Sorry Valesse, it had to be reported:
![]() And, who could forget, the best Newspaper Comedy Duo since 1416... ![]() Watch out next week for a guest appearance from The Saucepan Man! Also, if you are sending a story for the Front Page, please keep it to about 100 words, so that I can fit it on without having to cut it down or mess around with the format too much.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 10-16-2006 at 01:43 AM. |
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#116 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Haha, excellent! I especially enjoyed the part about me riding pedestrians... woo...
But for the sake of answering your 'question': Quote:
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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#117 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
![]() Also, I'm trying to avoid re-using certain Downers just in case they leave / are banned (as was the case with poor Dave ![]() With The Saucepan Man's cameo in P&A coming up... Anyone want to see the concept art? ![]()
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#118 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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"Certain Downers"?
Enigmatic and threatening...
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
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#119 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
Posts: 2,254
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*Meneltarmacil walks in covered in ashes and smoldering microwave parts*
Is there a doctor in the house? Anyhow, I'm looking forward to seeing Saucepan's cameo appearance. Nice job, Hookbill!
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I ♣ baby seals. |
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#120 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Curent affairs
The Barrow Downs suffered some technical problems Yesterday and early today. What was the cause? Experts say a minor technical fault, but we think we know the real explanation... ![]()
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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