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06-16-2006, 10:01 PM | #10961 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Dr.X will build a creature...
Elrond (to arwen): "In just seven days, I can make you a man. Dig it if you can!"
~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
06-16-2006, 10:05 PM | #10962 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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PJ: "You'll never guess my name!"
Arwen: "Rumplestiltskin." PJ: "Dang - you're good!" |
06-17-2006, 06:43 PM | #10963 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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PJ: "You mean this isn't the Convention of Short People?"
OR PJ: "Alright, who taped this 'Kick Me' sign to my back?!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
06-17-2006, 08:43 PM | #10964 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Elrond: "How many times have I told you not to bring Dwarves here without my permission?"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
06-18-2006, 01:55 AM | #10965 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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P-J: Do you want a fight?
Arwen: Erm... OR Arwen: Pass me that message, dwarf! Dwarf: Can't reach. Arwen: then walk over here. Dwarf: Its too far.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-18-2006, 02:46 AM | #10966 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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PJ: And after relieving Helm's Deep and killing Denethor, Arwen, like, weakens, because of the Power of the Ring...
ARWEN: Father, you must aid this Hobbit, for he has been pierced by a Movie-Mogul-blade and is in grave need of healing. ELROND: Indeed.
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
06-18-2006, 03:53 AM | #10967 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Continuing Anguirel's
PJ: That's not what you were saying during contracts when you were going to get first billing and bonuses for doing your own stunts!
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
06-18-2006, 05:59 AM | #10968 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Elrond: Have you been smoking?
Arwen: Of course not! I don't have an addictive personality! Man: Who ordered the five crates of cigars? Arwen: ... Erm... Glorfindel? OR Elrond introduces Arwen to their new neighbour.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-18-2006, 08:51 AM | #10969 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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PJ: CUT CUT CUT!!!
Liv: What? We were saying the lines correctly. PJ: I don't care, production won't go any further. Hugo: Why? PJ: Somebody stole my cazoo and we won't do anything until I get it back!
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
06-18-2006, 11:18 AM | #10970 |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,458
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PJ ... "Ok Hugo, you were right .... paying homage to The Sound of Music by making costumes out of curtains isn't going to work ... so Liv this means youare going to have to run around the Misty Mountains followed by my children reproduced by CGI so there are a dozen of em and sing ..uh
Elves in white dresses with sparkling mantles Sweet little hobbits with hair to their ankles balrogs that fly with fire on their wings these are a few of my favourite things..." Liv: "Call my agent "
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
06-18-2006, 11:28 AM | #10971 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Year 100 of the 4th Age: Fellowship of the Ring reunion. The turn out wasn't as well attended as Elrond had expected.
OR Aragorn: What can I say, Gondor has the best cakes!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-18-2006, 03:56 PM | #10972 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
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Cost-cutting Measures Hit LotR
PJ: "OK. I've run through $300 million faster than Orcrist can cleave a goblin. In order to save a little money, I will both direct and play the role of Gimli . . . I look like him anyway, and I'm short enough that we won't need any odd camera angles. Is this where I ask for a hair? No? LINE PLEASE!"
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Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
06-18-2006, 09:10 PM | #10973 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Although PJ was usually pleased with Weta's work he wasn't too tickled with the supposedly life-like plaster Arwen that turned up with no arms...
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06-20-2006, 12:59 AM | #10974 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Hugo: Who's this guy?
Liv: I don't know, I thought he was with you Hugo: Well what are you here for? Man: I was told to come here by my agent to try for the part of Bombadil. Hugo and Liv: Who the hell is he?
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
06-20-2006, 02:40 AM | #10975 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Arwen: Can I help you?
Man: I have a new picture for you! Wraith: Don't you think we're a bit conspicuous? Sauron: No! Not at all. Be quiet! *Slaps* OR The interior design of Barad Dur surprised everyone when they first entered. Sauron: Well... it’s... certainly... unexpected. The carpets were an interesting idea... BURN IT ALL!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-20-2006, 03:40 AM | #10976 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Sauron: "Are you gonna put your cloak in the cloakroom tonight or am I going to be stood there like a lemon, holding it all night while you dance around headless and legless as usual?"
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Gordon's alive!
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06-20-2006, 05:13 AM | #10977 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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The Lord of Minas Moretall:C'mon Shorty follow me
Smallone of Barred-door: Whatchit big-head or I will send the Girls round.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
06-20-2006, 05:45 AM | #10978 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sauron: Okay, who stole the Ring wraith's Game Boy?
Wraith: OR Sauron: You distract them while I make a dash for the exit!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-20-2006, 06:42 AM | #10979 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Before deciding to go to war over a silly ring, Sauron decides to ask the local lost and found if they've seen his ring.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
06-20-2006, 07:08 AM | #10980 |
Odinic Wanderer
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It was a great luck when the two odd looking actors by mistake went in the wrong door and ended up at the LOTR casting instead of the one for Teletubbies, as they intended.
Last edited by Rune Son of Bjarne; 06-20-2006 at 07:45 AM. |
06-20-2006, 07:35 AM | #10981 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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After losing the war and getting kicked out of Mordor, Sauron and his Wraiths were forced to seek new employment:
Wraith: Uh, hi... is this the right place to apply for the job of children's entertainer? Sauron: These outfits are okay, right? Only we didn't have anything special...
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
06-20-2006, 07:39 AM | #10982 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Sauron and his favourite henchwraith stomp off in disgust as they discover that for 'health and safety reasons', their local Working Men's Club has ruled not to admit people with hoodies and motorcycle helmets.
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Gordon's alive!
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06-20-2006, 09:06 AM | #10983 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Sauron: Out of my way! I go first!
OR Sauron: Ok, you put your right foot in . . .
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
06-20-2006, 09:28 AM | #10984 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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On the Red Carpet...
Announcer: "Ah, and here's the Witch-King escorting the lovely Mrs. Ringwraith!"
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06-20-2006, 09:33 AM | #10985 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Live! In Concert: gwar!!
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
06-20-2006, 09:41 AM | #10986 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Inspired by...
Quote:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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06-20-2006, 09:43 AM | #10987 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Wraith: Geez, that movie was over nine hours long and they still left out Tom Bombadil.
or Everyone was shocked to see the Wraith and Sauron coming out of Love Story.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain Last edited by Kitanna; 06-20-2006 at 12:23 PM. |
06-20-2006, 12:04 PM | #10988 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Sauron and his favourite minion after auditioning for Pop Idol. Simon Cowell called their rendition of Can't Take My Eye Off You "ghoulishly charming" but rejected them as the Ringwraith didn't show enough leg for his 'taste'.
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Gordon's alive!
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06-20-2006, 12:08 PM | #10989 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sauron and his last remaining minion make their way though the Job centre to the unemployment office.
Sauron: Blaster Halfling! OR Sauron: Go on! Just tell him you don't want the job! Wraith: I can't! You do it!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-20-2006, 02:01 PM | #10990 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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A Ringwraith helps Sauron search for his Mouth after it mouthed him off.
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
06-20-2006, 03:41 PM | #10991 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Sauron, already a little ashamed to be going to church, is completely surprised (and embarrassed) to find one of his Ringwraiths ushering.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
06-20-2006, 05:06 PM | #10992 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Ringwraith: "Yes, we're from the UN, here for the meeting. Do we have any coffee and doughnuts to go with our non-binding agreements today?"
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06-21-2006, 03:24 AM | #10993 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: Erm.. Bilbo, there are two people here to see you about a ring.
OR The lowest point in the Dark Lord's career. Sauron: Have you been injured in an accident that wasn't your fault? Wraith # 5 was. He got 50 gold coins in compensation thanks to Mordor insurance ltd!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
06-21-2006, 06:10 AM | #10994 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Duel of Doom
Witch-King: "I am the design expert who informs you that the atrocious color in your carpet is repulsive."
Ringwraith: "I am the colorblind homeowner who can't see the atrocious color in my carpet & therefore remain blissfully ignorant." |
06-21-2006, 08:56 AM | #10995 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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The Crazy Caption's 11,000th reply extravagance of good Doom!
A down on his luck Sauron starts to sell all he owns.
Sauron: Wraith for sale! Only £4.50
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 06-21-2006 at 09:04 AM. |
06-21-2006, 01:57 PM | #10996 |
Reflection of Darkness
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull.
Posts: 2,983
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Sauron: Wait a minute, this isn't Minas Tirith.
Wraith: I told you we should've stopped and asked for directions! Sauron: What are you talking about? I am THE LORD SAURON! I do not need directions! Wraith: Well then, Almighty Lord Sauron. Can you tell us where we are? Sauron: Uhhhh.......Rohan. Yep, it's definitely Rohan. No one else would have such lousy carpet. Wraith: Yeah....Rohan.....right..... *snorts* Sauron: *gives the Wraith a big smack in the head*
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
06-21-2006, 02:21 PM | #10997 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Obi-Wan: If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine.
Darth Vader: Look behind you. Obi-Wan: Oh, crap! Or... Ringwraith(out of the side of his mouth): It'll be a nice day... Sauron(likewise): ...If it doesn't rain. Ringwraith(loudly): Oh, so you're a Delta Knight too, huh?
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
06-21-2006, 03:51 PM | #10998 |
Psyche of Prince Immortal
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Sauron: i still think this armour is a bit too much... and it makes me look fat
Ringwraith: stop your whining, you must look your best if you are going to present your 'One Ring' Theory to the world! Sauron: yeah i hope they take it better then my 'Capture your king and kill him by werewolves' theory
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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06-21-2006, 11:01 PM | #10999 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Sauron: I thought you said this was a 5 star hotel?
Wraith: The web site indicated it was and I got it for a good deal. It was the best the Shire had to offer on such short notice. Sauron: 5 Star my eye. We'd have been better off at Bree and made the daily commute. I need luxury con sarnet!!!
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
06-22-2006, 03:49 AM | #11000 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sauron: I knew it was a bad idea let 'Changing Rooms' do up Barad dur.
OR As Mordor falls apart, Sauron needs a scapegoat... Sauron: Wraith! That was your fault! You're very bad! Wraith: ...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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