Friends of Nimrodel: Tapestry of Dreams - Discussion

[littlemanpoet]

Yes, I can do that, Helen. Just PM me the appropriate info.

And thanks for the kudos. The trick is to use it in the future, and cue other writers that Tharonwe is ab-using their characters, and see how said writers flow (or not) with it.

[Imladris]

Originally Posted by Aylwen Dreamsong

If the women leave after the men, how would the men find out that the women went missing in the wild?

I was thinking Aeron's sister could show it to him in a dream. And then he would mention it to the others and they would make of it what they would.

[littlemanpoet]

Ooh! Cool! I like! What do you others think? Can we, can we? Huh?

[mark12_30]

Hullo, I'm back.

Regarding dreams: ...of course... Yeah, I like it.

[littlemanpoet]

I've made a narrative post to move things along. You will find a link in my signature that shows our agreed-upon plot outline to finish up this part of the story.

The only things left to do on THIS thread are:
1. Have the meeting between Mellondu and Elessar (which I can edit into the beginning of my recent post)
2. Erebemlin's talk with Mellondu's parents.
3. Any fleshing out of characters as their writers see fit, considering the events I've narrated.

If anything I have written needs to be revised to fit better with your characters, please let me know and I will do it. But at least now we have a much more limited plot outline to trudge through. Hope you don't mind my initiative-taking.

[mark12_30]

Helen, would you mind posting this to the discussion thread?

Thanks to lmp, first of all for stepping up and hurrying the plot along. As
to the things that need to be finished for this book, are the women still
going to take off at the end of this book or will they do that at the
beginning of the next? The men would then find out after they leave by
Aeron's vision of Gwillion? I believe we all liked the idea of the vision
but I'm just hashing out details.

If the ladies go at the beginning of Book 2, then we only need to finish the
details of the men leaving and the possible escape of Tharonwe. I will try
to get a post for Iorgil written tonight as time allows. I have a Tae Kwon
Do class tonight, so if it's not possible I'll get it tomorrow tonight and
send to Helen on Wednesday. It finally seems as though the end is in sight
for Book 1...that's quite exciting!

It will still be another couple of weeks for me before I get a computer.
I'm looking at the first or second week in September, so pray that nothing
comes up that takes that money.

~Alak

[littlemanpoet]

Ends of books are all about tying up loose strings. Beginnings of sequels are all about adding new wrinkles or better yet turning plots on their heads or, better yet, snipping the yarn in just the right place so that the entire thing unravels in just the right way.

So I think the women should envision and leave in the new book.

[littlemanpoet]

HELLO?

FELLOW TAPESTRY WRITERS?

ARE YOU OUT THERE?

WILL SOMEONE HELP CARRY THE STORY?

OR SHOULD I JUST DO ANOTHER

AND ANOTHER

AND ANOTHER

POST UNTIL THIS IS DONE?

The curious want to know, and I'm curious (not to mention a little impatient).

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

I'm here.

But from what it sounds like, the women are done until book two. So unless you want Bellyn to do something else, I'm just hanging tight until the new book is started.

Where's Helen? I hope alak gets her computer soon.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I've been sitting and waiting quietly, hoping very [im]patiently that Tapestry I can finish so that I can get to writing with all of you. If I make my eyes wide and beseeching, and perhaps pout my lips adorably, will it help? Probably not... but is there anything that I can do to help out?

[mark12_30]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

1. Have the meeting between Mellondu and Elessar (which I can edit into the beginning of my recent post).

I was assuming Formendacil would carry that part-- but I admit confusion on my own part when I saw it summarized, and only just realised that "edit into the beginning of my recent post" could mean "expansion and detail added."

Formendacil?....

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

2. Erebemlin's talk with Mellondu's parents.

*draws a blank* Er, what conversation, and what's left to talk about? I had imagined much gathering of provisions, and the decision as to who is accompanying Erebemlin and Mellondu?

3. Any fleshing out of characters as their writers see fit, considering the events I've narrated.

If anything I have written needs to be revised to fit better with your characters, please let me know and I will do it. But at least now we have a much more limited plot outline to trudge through. Hope you don't mind my initiative-taking.

[Imladris]

i took the liberty of writing

then we only need to finish the
details of the men leaving

That part.

It's short, but sometimes less is more.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by mark12_30

I was assuming Formendacil would carry that part-- but I admit confusion on my own part when I saw it summarized, and only just realised that "edit into the beginning of my recent post" could mean "expansion and detail added."

Formendacil?....

Pardon! Pardon! I beseech thee all for pardon!

My apologies, over the past couple weeks I've been exceedingly busy... getting myself moved from home, to college, settling into college, and although I've been here for a while now, there was no real Internet access for the better part of a week, due to a silent retreat. Whatever the excuses (and they are many and varied) I've been letting Tapestry slide...

In my defence, I DID say to give me a nudge or poke when it's my turn. As the junior member of an august and esteemed hierarchy, I'm not really going to be taking a lot in the way of presumptions at the moment- though as time goes on and I shift to Bergil (whom I can play with more than Elessar) that'll hopefully change.

Anyway...

Give me a day or two, and I shall strive to do my best in getting a post up for Elessar et al.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by mark12_30

*draws a blank* Er, what conversation, and what's left to talk about? I had imagined much gathering of provisions, and the decision as to who is accompanying Erebemlin and Mellondu?

Well, it was in the outline. But if there's nothing that needs to be said, we can slash it from the outline and consider it a non-issue. Right?

Nicely done, Immy.

All righty, Formy, officially:

POKE!

Now get to it and no more excuses, legitimate or not.

[mark12_30]

Originally Posted by lmp

Nicely done, Immy.

Aye, T'was!

Originally Posted by Formendacil

due to a silent retreat.

Trying to make me jealous, eh??? It'll never work. Never I say.

[littlemanpoet]

Formy: Hmmmm...... Hmmmmm.......!

That was deftly handled post. Yet somehow it sits not entirely right with me. I'm not sure why, yet, and may not become sure.

I like that Elessar shows concern for Mellondu himself, and that the Elves are surprised by this.

One remonstration I might make is that Elessar has no words for Mellondu's father. That simply should not be.

Maybe Elessar leaves his throne too soon.... ? ......

I think a part of my illness at ease is related to diction. I'm not saying "this is what you should do instead", but rather "....what I would have done in your place":

Instead of

"There is no friendship any more,"

I would write

"There is friendship no longer,"

I think Arwen's first words are a bit abrupt, actually. Besides, she would know through her osanwe whether he can or cannot see such a thing. Perhaps I remonstrate with this because you are having Tolkien's characters concern themselves with perspective rather than truth. Though related, perspective is a modern thing, and Arwen, it seems to me, would have spoken about what really was in place of how Mellondu saw it. Which begs the question, what really WAS?

I also don't think Elessar would have confessed not knowing the event initimately enough to render judgement. He and Arwen in fact seem to know enough of how Amroth is inside Mellondu to be able to attempt to persuade him of a better way to deal with it. That would suggest that they also know enough to render some manner of judgement, not for juridical purposes maybe, but to name a thing for what it is.

I also don't think that Elessar would give up and call the thing finished, but leave him with a final bit of wisdom that Mellondu can't get out of his head. Which you do with the interesting comment regarding Manwe and Morgoth.

Please do understand that I think you have made a very, very good effort at a very difficult post to write at a top notch level; I hope I'm helping you get it there.

[mark12_30]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Formy: That was deftly handled post.

Aye! T'was!

I like that Elessar shows concern for Mellondu himself, and that the Elves are surprised by this.

Agreed.

One remonstration I might make is that Elessar has no words for Mellondu's father. That simply should not be.

Agreed; in fact he would greet Father first; Mellondu is practically a minor. Elessar would verify (1) that Father was freely releasing his son and (2) that Father approved of Erebemlin's taking the boy. But before all that, Elessar would first honor Father's age and service.

Maybe Elessar leaves his throne too soon.... ? ......

Inserting the conversation with Mellondu's Father would alleviate most of that, I think.


Ah, and now lmp wields his axe:

Instead of
Quote:
"There is no friendship any more,"

I would write
Quote:
"There is friendship no longer,"

Hah! While I would write "There is friendship no more." Shorter still! (Poor Formie, caught between a lmpRock and a markHardPlace.)

I think Arwen's first words are a bit abrupt, actually.

This might be allayed if Elessar has a conversation with Father, first.

Besides, she would know through her osanwe whether he can or cannot see such a thing.

Maybe-- but maybe not; remember Mellondu's mind is snapped as hard-shut (against Amroth!!) as he can get it. Erebemlin is mostly shut out; I think Arwen would be, too. And that would make this whole scene taste a little different.

Please do understand that I think you have made a very, very good effort at a very difficult post to write at a top notch level; I hope I'm helping you get it there.

Oh, aye. Take the tips, Formendacil-- lmp's a good coach. I should know.

"So many strange things have chanced that to learn the praise of a fair lady under the loving strokes of a dwarf's axe will seem no great wonder."

Not that I'm calling lmp a dwarf, mind. But he does wield a mean axe.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by mark12_30

Not that I'm calling lmp a dwarf, mind. But he does wield a mean axe.

And he's little.

[mark12_30]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

And he's little.

WOOT!

[Formendacil]

No, no... I very much appreciate the comments. At the time, I wasn't even sure of the post... LMP's comments are very much appreciated- at least in regards to this post, though I would incline to take Mark's "There is friendship no more" as being the nicer-sounding.

I didn't even know when I posted that the post had gone through, since the computer seized up... so I was pleasantly surprised to see my name at the bottom of the thread, and a slew of helpful comments waiting here, rather than the tedious rewriting/copying I feared I would have to do.

EDIT: I've revised the post, with the suggestions given, as well as a couple of slight changes of my own... As always, comments appreciated.

[mark12_30]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

I've revised the post, with the suggestions given, as well as a couple of slight changes of my own... As always, comments appreciated.

Here's a comment....

Originally Posted by mark

Wow.

[Imladris]

Hmmm. I had forgotten about this meeting...or for some reason it didn't completely register with me.

I think I should delete my post and put it after Formendacil's. Yes, no?

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Imladris

Hmmm. I had forgotten about this meeting...or for some reason it didn't completely register with me.

I think I should delete my post and put it after Formendacil's. Yes, no?

Hmm.... I suppose that might make for some slightly better continuity...

And my deep and sincere thanks, Mark/Helen, for your comment.

*bows*

[Imladris]

Time discontinuity has been resolved.

[mark12_30]

Mellondu is also on his grumbly way.

I followed Immy's lead since she said we're all walking. WHo has horses?

Taitheneb
Erebemlin
Ravion has Gond, who is apparently carrying a pack at the moment?
Ædegard has his bay
Mellondu-- is Ædegard still loaning him Echo? (Please, lmp? I've grown very fond of Echo)
Nethwador (gasp! I've neglected him!) has his lanky chestnut
Liornung has his own horse.
That leaves Aeron and Raefindan horseless. (Maybe that's why we are walking at this point?) Sounds like Raefindan and Aeron need horses. Where do we get them?

Can Erebemlin ask Elessar (during the already lengthy interview, perhaps) for two more horses-- or four, allowing for two packhorses? Leafa and Bella need their horses for the grand getaway, so we shouldn't mess with them, I think. Formie?

[littlemanpoet]

I have no answers, just another question: what needs to happen to call Part One done?

[mark12_30]

The departure seems a bit abrupt to me, still (pondering what I should do to fix it); and I think there should be a post regarding Bella, Leafa, and Mellonin settling down a bit more. Maybe sharing a cup of tea, something domestic and soothing, and talking about the men's departure and discussing their "new future." Apart from that-- any other felt needs?? I think we're not far from opening the new thread.

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

The departure seems a bit abrupt to me, still (pondering what I should do to fix it)

I think it's a little weird that we have no post of the men saying goodbye to the women, but that's just my opinion. Mellondu not saying goodbye to Mellonin? Ædegard and Leafa? Nethwador and Bella? I know it probably happened at some point before the men leaving, but it's just not in there in the form of a post.

Other than that...Where's Nuru?

-Aylwen

[mark12_30]

Helen would you mind post on the Discussion Thread for me?

I'm sorry this is all I can post at the moment, but I think that Formie's
post coming after LMP's seems off. I'm sure it can be easily fixed by
either putting LMP's at the bottom of Formie's or Formie's at the beginning
of LMP's.

Other than that, I'm really trying to find time here. I will have a
computer as quickly as I can, but at the moment work is so hectic I don't
have time to write up or post more than this.

Thanks ~Alak

[littlemanpoet]

I like Aylwen's idea of a good-bye post between Ædegard and Leafa; there would also be a less intense one between Raefindan and Mellonin who do after all have a friendship.

I'll copy Formy's post into the beginning of mine, after which Formy can delete his. I promise not to change anything without his approval. (LMP wearing halo)

[Nurumaiel]

I apologise for my deep silence! I've been following along, but haven't had much time to do anything beside study. Euclid and St. Thomas Aquinas have been my main focus for the past few weeks.... as well as studying for choir (we sang Mozart's Ave Verum this evening and it was beautiful).

But I'll find the time to post, if not very often. Ædegard and Leafa must have their farewell.

[mark12_30]

I'll stuff this here til I finish the others, and then we can decide where they go...



In the morning, Mellondu dressed and ate, and said little. Father and mother, weary from their late night, nevertheless rose with him and helped him pack.

"You'll bring a good cloak this time, " said Father, and handed him several garments, rolled together. Mellondu took them, surprised, and unrolled them. They were faded and patched, and had an earthy smell.

"Your ranger's garb!"

Father nodded. "You do not quite fill them yet, but you will ere long. They should serve you well, " he said with a nod toward Mother. Mother reached back behind the door, and pulled out a long bundle.

"Your bow? But Father, I am no ranger; I have no skill with a bow. Why should I risk losing it?"

"Perhaps, " said Father earnestly, "you will take the time now, and learn. You cannot hunt a meal with a sword, or with a hammer and tongs. You will be travelling with elves. Learn from them! It was my one wish of Erebemlin and Taitheneb, and they have granted it, asking only whether you desire to learn." Father's eyes asked the question.

Mellondu thought, I would rather learn from an orc. Then shamed by the folly of his thoughts, he saw the wisdom of Father's request, and nodded. "I will learn. "

Mother handed Father's clothing to Mellondu, and he hesitantly put on the jerkin and the cloak The breeches he rolled up and placed in his pack. Then he stood, slung his pack over his right shoulder, hesitated, put the quiver over his left shoulder, and holding the bow he gazed at Father.

Father nodded. "Aye. You will learn many things. Go with our love, son. May the Valar shine on your path."

Mother embraced him, then Father; and then he walked out the door and down the stairs, into the morning sunshine. He did not leave the city yet; he was to return to the inn, and find the elves. But first, he would find his sister. He wondered what she would say when she saw him in Father's clothes.

[Imladris]

Do you want me to delete my post again for time continuum's sake.

[mark12_30]

Immy,

No, we'd have to delete several posts. I'll just ask that my "farewells" be pasted into others' posts. It'll be fine, no worries.

I wouldn't be surprised if the existing last couple of posts are the thread-closers? Seems to me that our objections involve filling in gaps in what already exists.

[Imladris]

Ok...sorry...I'm having trouble keeping up with the thread what with school, new job, and other things of an unsavoury nature.

I'll do better with the new thread, where there won't be anything to be really "picked up" as it were.

[mark12_30]

Real Life, eh? I can relate. No worries, girl.

[mark12_30]

Doggone it all!! I've spent the day looking for the bowstring for my black longbow, and it's nowhere to be found... yet. Searched the attic, searched the spare bedroom, looked through my drawers, scoured the office shelves (looked between each book!!!) & hunted through the cubby holes and the drawers and the boxes. No bowstring. RATS.

...where haven't I looked yet......

[Formendacil]

Okay, seeing as LMP has reposted the below post into his post, I've deleted my post. I'm quite happy then with leaving LMP to splice in a bit about asking for horses. Subject to my approval, of course.

Meanwhile... my apologies for delaying so long in reply. The internet access here has been down for the better part of a week. Sad, how we must depend on such "banal" technologies.

~~~~~~~
The first thing Elessar noted about his young subject as Mellondu and his father entered with the two Elves, was that the young man seemed rather bitter. Arwen looked over at him, clearly concerned about the young man's state of mind. A tightness around the mouth suggested that she did not think him at all at ease. Whether she felt Amroth, Elessar could not tell. The two men bowed before the King.

"My lord," Mellondu's father said, with a sweep of his arm in his son's direction. "I have brought you my son, Fingon."

"Also called Mellondu," said Elessar, with a brisk nod. "I am pleased to have you and your son here. What is occuring now will make a famous man out of your son, if the minstrels hear his tale in days to come. Neither the Queen Arwen nor myself would have these matters pass us by unnoted."

Arwen smiled at Mellondu and his father. "Even Kings and Queens of the Edain desire to meet heroes and figures out of great tales."

"But as I am not just a spectator of your tale, but also your King," Elessar addressed Mellondu's father, "I must concern myself: is it your will that your son should accompany these Elves, and share his body with Amroth, in the fulfillment of his quest?"

"It is," said Mellondu's father, sombrely, "my son's honour requires it, and both he and I are men of dignity, though our status may be humble. Mellondu goes with my grace and of his own decision."

"Then I am satisfied," said Elessar. "And what of you, Mellondu?"

"I understand you desired to see Amroth, my lord," the young man's voice was tense, and maybe somewhat sullen.

"No Mellondu," Elessar rose, shaking his head. He strode down to stand in front of the young man. "No, I wished to see my subject who has given so much in friendship to a legendary Elvenking."

"There is friendship no more," Mellondu said bitterly. Behind him, Elessar could hear a russle as Arwen rose to join him.

"We have heard how Amroth placed your sister in danger," she said to him. "But can you not forgive him of the events that day? Your sister survived unharmed."

"I see only that Mellonin was endangered," said Mellondu, stubbornly. "And that Amroth betrayed my trust."

"We are not a court to render judgement on Amroth's actions," said Elessar. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Erebemlin stir slightly. The Elf had not expected him to side, perhaps, with Mellondu against Amroth. "But there are times when we must forgive those who have wronged us. Even if they have hurt us deeply."

"Why does any of this matter?" asked Mellondu. "Why do you care?"

"I am the King of Gondor," said Elessar. "This is not just a charge to rule the people, but to care for them. Tensions between you and Amroth can rip you apart, Mellondu. He is still in your mind, even if you wish it not. You continue to grant him lodging, but it would be better if you did it ungrudgingly. The mortal body was not meant to sustain the conflict of two minds."

"Nor is an immortal body," said Arwen, cryptically. "Amroth is in great turmoil. From you, Mellondu, for suppressing him. And from his own anguish, which is confused and I cannot read it. If Amroth and you are to both see a happy finish to this tale, it falls to you to lead the way. Amroth, even in control of himself, has not the ability to see beyond Nimrodel. Someone who can see further is needed."

"I cannot forgive him, my lady," said Mellondu. "Someone who cares so much should understand that I love my sister."

Elessar and Arwen glanced for a second at each other.

"If we cannot sway your mind, Mellondu, then I believe we are finished," Elessar addressed the boy. "I beseech you to consider the words of your Queen, and make peace with Amroth- even if Amroth doesn't deserve it. Even Manwë gave Morgoth mercy."

The visitors departed. Mellondu's father was holding his arm, and whispering something to him. Erebemlin and Taitheneb wore faces of mixed confusion. That Elessar was more interested in Mellondu than Amroth had not crossed their minds, it seemed. As the guests departed from earshot, Elessar turned to Arwen.

"Is there any hope that Amroth can find Nimrodel?" he asked. "Can he be restored to peace?"

"In Mandos, mayhaps," said Arwen, "but it will not be a happy road for Mellondu, I deem. And it may not happen soon."

"The grace of the Valar go with them," Elessar looked down the now-empty hall. "And grant that they return at peace."

[littlemanpoet]

Sorry but I don't see any request for horses in the above post. Am I blind? Help me, please.....

EDIT: Oh, I get it. You want me to add the verbage to the post myself. Okay.

[mark12_30]

Thanks for straightening out the horses. We can name them later.....

...How about some other farewell posts?

I could do Nethwador & Bella-- or Aylwen, you could.

Ædegard & Leafa need to say goodbye.

I still owe a Mellonin/Mellondu post.

Other than that.....?