Crazy Captions - Page 265 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hama Of The Riddermark · 05-02-2006, 07:57 AM

The mouth of Sauron, unable to see because of his helmet, was in fact showing the mithril coat of Frodo to a large rock.

narfforc · 05-02-2006, 08:11 AM

The Mouth of Sauron: Psst keep it quiet, I am willing to defect to Minas Tirith, but only if you have an NHS dentist without a waiting list

Kath · 05-02-2006, 08:32 AM

The newest awareness poster for what happens when you don't brush your teeth:

Mouth of Sauron: Look kids, you could be like me!

Gurthang · 05-02-2006, 08:51 AM

And some kids still won't believe their mothers when they say 'Your face will stick like that!'

OR

A toothpaste commercial gone bad.

Hama Of The Riddermark · 05-02-2006, 08:56 AM

When scurvy attacks...

mormegil · 05-02-2006, 09:12 AM

The substitute teacher fell for the old 'thumb tack on the chair' gag.

Meela · 05-02-2006, 10:10 AM

"I am smiling!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-02-2006, 12:12 PM

Mouth: I have a token I was bidden to show to thee, to thee in particular old grey beard. A court restriction on all uncloaking for the next five years!

OR

The Mouth of Sauron always wondered why he could never get a girlfriend. Perhaps it was the shoes... yeah, defiantly the shoes.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-02-2006, 12:27 PM

And you thought your school photo was bad!

or

Don't play with lucite, kids.

Kitanna · 05-02-2006, 01:09 PM

(the standard bad teeth joke)
The Mouth of Sauron made a name for himself after the Ring was destroyed by becoming the poster boy for gingivitis.

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-02-2006, 01:20 PM

This is why your parents always told you to fasten your seat belts.

OR

Mouth regretted betting an Orc that he would reach the ground first after jumping off the black gate face first.

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 05-02-2006, 01:54 PM

The Mouth of Sauron realised that all these years he had worn his helmet backwards...

Mouth: So that's why I couldn't see!

narfforc · 05-02-2006, 02:05 PM

The Mouth sings Smile in the style of that great Dwarf crooner Not King Coal

Smile though face is breaking
Smile though crowns are flaking

The Only Real Estel · 05-02-2006, 04:03 PM

Now you know why Black Riders typically wear their hoods over their faces...

Farael · 05-02-2006, 04:36 PM

Aragorn(off screen): Say Cheeeeese!!

The Only Real Estel · 05-02-2006, 04:37 PM

Mouth of Sauron: "What do you mean maybe we should make my helmet a little more protective? Half my face is covered up already, if we add any more they may not be able to see me at all!!"

Head Mordor Promotion Representative: "Uh...yes. That's the idea, sir."

Nilpaurion Felagund · 05-02-2006, 07:09 PM

Aragorn, after seeing Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

Eonwe · 05-02-2006, 07:38 PM

Contrairy to everyone's advice, the Mouth of Sauron was convinced he had a winning smile to match his winning personality.

-OR-

MoS: Quit shining that flash light on my teeth! They're bad enough as it is!

Elu Ancalime · 05-02-2006, 08:03 PM

That's actually Gollum in a Hannibal Lector-style containment/constrainment during his stay with the Wood Elves.
________
Volcano vaporizer reviews

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-02-2006, 11:33 PM

Mouth: What can I say? Mordor snack machines are cheap.

OR

Mouth: I am the mouth of Sauron. But I'm just waiting for the arm and hands to take a look at my teeth.

Parmastahir · 05-03-2006, 05:44 AM

"Look, I'll trade this mithril coat for some Longbottom Leaf. The chew we have in Mordor isn't fit for orcs!"

Oddwen · 05-03-2006, 11:26 AM

MoS: You made me love you, I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it...

Or...

MoS: You mean they can't look at my teeth? Inconceiveable!

Or...

MoS: ...and I don't even exercise!

Or...

The replies to the Mouth's personal ad dwindled to nought when he added his picture. He wondered why.

Or...

The final day in the Village - in triumph, the last Wolf morphs and prepares to attack the last Villager!

Or...

Luthien: Mother, this is the man I want to marry!
MoS: Hello, Mrs. Greycloak!
Melian: AAAAAIIIIII!!!

Or...

The Flying Nun?!?

Or...

Mother Superior jumped the gun...

Boromir88 · 05-03-2006, 01:00 PM

MoS: No I am not Darth Vader! Stop asking me!

OR

Public Service Announcement: This is what would happen to Boromir88 if you do not read through the entire thread.

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-03-2006, 01:08 PM

Those pesky Orcs had swapped Mouth's toothpaste for glue again.

OR

And he wondered what went so wrong at the job interview.

THE Ka · 05-03-2006, 05:03 PM

Not even the Mouth of Sauron was spared by the yearbook photographer...

~ Aesthete

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-04-2006, 01:30 PM

The Mouth of Sauron had his helmet ‘uncloak proof’. Gandalf could get frostbite as far as he was concerned.

Bêthberry · 05-04-2006, 01:57 PM

Some people, no matter who they are, just hate getting a needle.

The Only Real Estel · 05-04-2006, 04:16 PM

Mouth: "What do you mean I look like Gilbert Gottfried?"

Gurthang · 05-04-2006, 04:38 PM

Mouth of Sauron: "So, mom... dad... What do you think of my new nosering? Do you think it's too big?"

OR

The Mouth of Sauron suddenly realized that he should not have gone with the 'budget' golden teeth.

OR

The Mouth of Sauron thinks he's got some nice grillz.

The Elf-warrior · 05-04-2006, 06:29 PM

Haradrim chewing tobacco: Breakfast of champions.

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-04-2006, 11:43 PM

Quote:

The Mouth of Sauron suddenly realized that he should not have gone with the 'budget' golden teeth.

Mouth: I knew I shouldn't have gone with the budget eye care.

OR

Gandalf gets a horrible vision of what the future could be like if he continued to smoke.

Boromir88 · 05-05-2006, 04:14 AM

Hookbill has gotten me to think of something:

The MoS is the first patient in Middle-earth's break through laser eye surgery...

Beanamir of Gondor · 05-05-2006, 12:14 PM

Mouth of Sauron: Awww, Aragorn, you bought me a bouquet of athelas!

(dunno, that's what it looks like to me)

narfforc · 05-05-2006, 02:35 PM

The words Cheesy Grin refer to the smell and not the look

Anguirel · 05-05-2006, 03:15 PM

DIAMOND: I'm afraid the Wolves win.

MOUTH OF SAURON: What?! But I killed the last werewolf fair and square...

DIAMOND: Not exactly. You see, there were three extra Cobblers, an Owl, a Pussycat and a secret Cursed Villager.

ELEMPI: Not to mention the Duelling Wizards who transformed you into a Black Beorning.

MOUTH OF SAURON: Argh! And people wonder why I forget my own name! Curse this game and its cruel contortions!

Boromir88 · 05-05-2006, 06:08 PM

Mouth of Sauron: I have a message from my master I was bidden to tell thee...

Aragorn: Yeah we know, get on with it, so I can chop off your head.

Mouth of Sauron: No! It's a new pic!

Gimli surely didn't expect dwarf women to look like this...

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-06-2006, 12:37 AM

While everyone else stares in horror at Gandalf's cloak-less nature, Pippin says, "Seen it before." and goes back to sleep.

OR

Gimli: Moria!

Legolas: Moria!

Pippin: It's only a model.

Boromir: Shhh!

narfforc · 05-06-2006, 03:36 AM

MoS: I am The Mouthpiece Of Sourone, The Dork-Lord of Bad-Odour and The Lord of the Grins.

(Rearrange Rings=Grins)

Kath · 05-06-2006, 07:25 AM

Merry stared on in fascination as Gimli began to glow.

narfforc · 05-06-2006, 08:26 AM

In the annual 'I can shoot an arrow further than you can throw an axe contest', Gimli tells Legolas that the elf has won, so he can tell the big fellow with a fiery temper why he's disturbed him

05-02-2006, 08:11 AM	#10562
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	The Mouth of Sauron: Psst keep it quiet, I am willing to defect to Minas Tirith, but only if you have an NHS dentist without a waiting list __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

05-02-2006, 08:32 AM	#10563
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	The newest awareness poster for what happens when you don't brush your teeth: Mouth of Sauron: Look kids, you could be like me! __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

05-02-2006, 08:51 AM	#10564
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	And some kids still won't believe their mothers when they say 'Your face will stick like that!' OR A toothpaste commercial gone bad. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

05-02-2006, 09:12 AM	#10566
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,648	The substitute teacher fell for the old 'thumb tack on the chair' gag. __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

05-02-2006, 10:10 AM	#10567
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	"I am smiling!" __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. Last edited by Meela; 08-29-2006 at 05:44 PM.

05-02-2006, 07:57 AM	#10561
Hama Of The Riddermark Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 282	The mouth of Sauron, unable to see because of his helmet, was in fact showing the mithril coat of Frodo to a large rock.

05-02-2006, 08:56 AM	#10565
Hama Of The Riddermark Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 282	When scurvy attacks...

05-02-2006, 12:12 PM	#10568
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Oh the old jokes... Mouth: I have a token I was bidden to show to thee, to thee in particular old grey beard. A court restriction on all uncloaking for the next five years! OR The Mouth of Sauron always wondered why he could never get a girlfriend. Perhaps it was the shoes... yeah, defiantly the shoes. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 05-03-2006 at 01:33 AM.

05-02-2006, 12:27 PM	#10569
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	And you thought your school photo was bad! or Don't play with lucite, kids. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

05-02-2006, 01:09 PM	#10570
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	(the standard bad teeth joke) The Mouth of Sauron made a name for himself after the Ring was destroyed by becoming the poster boy for gingivitis. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

05-02-2006, 01:20 PM	#10571
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	This is why your parents always told you to fasten your seat belts. OR Mouth regretted betting an Orc that he would reach the ground first after jumping off the black gate face first. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-02-2006, 01:54 PM	#10572
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,234	The Mouth of Sauron realised that all these years he had worn his helmet backwards... Mouth: So that's why I couldn't see! __________________ Fenris Wolf

05-02-2006, 02:05 PM	#10573
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Smile The Mouth sings Smile in the style of that great Dwarf crooner Not King Coal Smile though face is breaking Smile though crowns are flaking __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

05-02-2006, 04:03 PM	#10574
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Now you know why Black Riders typically wear their hoods over their faces...

05-02-2006, 04:36 PM	#10575
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,538	Aragorn(off screen): Say Cheeeeese!! __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

05-02-2006, 04:37 PM	#10576
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Mouth of Sauron: "What do you mean maybe we should make my helmet a little more protective? Half my face is covered up already, if we add any more they may not be able to see me at all!!" Head Mordor Promotion Representative: "Uh...yes. That's the idea, sir."

05-02-2006, 07:09 PM	#10577
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	The horror! Aragorn, after seeing Gandalf the Grey uncloaked. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

05-02-2006, 07:38 PM	#10578
Eonwe Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: In a world grown ever smaller. Posts: 678	Contrairy to everyone's advice, the Mouth of Sauron was convinced he had a winning smile to match his winning personality. -OR- MoS: Quit shining that flash light on my teeth! They're bad enough as it is! __________________ I've got bridge club on Wednesday, Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night!

05-02-2006, 08:03 PM	#10579
Elu Ancalime Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Anador Posts: 476	That's actually Gollum in a Hannibal Lector-style containment/constrainment during his stay with the Wood Elves. ________ Volcano vaporizer reviews Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-03-2011 at 11:56 PM.

05-02-2006, 11:33 PM	#10580
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Mouth: What can I say? Mordor snack machines are cheap. OR Mouth: I am the mouth of Sauron. But I'm just waiting for the arm and hands to take a look at my teeth. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-03-2006, 05:44 AM	#10581
Parmastahir Wight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Green Hill Country Posts: 196	Let's Make a Deal "Look, I'll trade this mithril coat for some Longbottom Leaf. The chew we have in Mordor isn't fit for orcs!" __________________ Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends.

05-03-2006, 11:26 AM	#10582
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	MoS: You made me love you, I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it... Or... MoS: You mean they can't look at my teeth? Inconceiveable! Or... MoS: ...and I don't even exercise! Or... The replies to the Mouth's personal ad dwindled to nought when he added his picture. He wondered why. Or... The final day in the Village - in triumph, the last Wolf morphs and prepares to attack the last Villager! Or... Luthien: Mother, this is the man I want to marry! MoS: Hello, Mrs. Greycloak! Melian: AAAAAIIIIII!!! Or... The Flying Nun?!? Or... Mother Superior jumped the gun... __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 05-03-2006 at 11:29 AM.

05-03-2006, 01:00 PM	#10583
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	MoS: No I am not Darth Vader! Stop asking me! OR Public Service Announcement: This is what would happen to Boromir88 if you do not read through the entire thread. __________________ Fenris Penguin

05-03-2006, 01:08 PM	#10584
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Those pesky Orcs had swapped Mouth's toothpaste for glue again. OR And he wondered what went so wrong at the job interview. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-03-2006, 05:03 PM	#10585
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	Not even the Mouth of Sauron was spared by the yearbook photographer... ~ Aesthete __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

05-04-2006, 01:30 PM	#10586
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Going with the helmet joke... The Mouth of Sauron had his helmet ‘uncloak proof’. Gandalf could get frostbite as far as he was concerned. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-04-2006, 01:57 PM	#10587
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,996	Some people, no matter who they are, just hate getting a needle. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

05-04-2006, 04:16 PM	#10588
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Mouth: "What do you mean I look like Gilbert Gottfried?"

05-04-2006, 04:38 PM	#10589
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Mouth of Sauron: "So, mom... dad... What do you think of my new nosering? Do you think it's too big?" OR The Mouth of Sauron suddenly realized that he should not have gone with the 'budget' golden teeth. OR The Mouth of Sauron thinks he's got some nice grillz. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

05-04-2006, 06:29 PM	#10590
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Haradrim chewing tobacco: Breakfast of champions. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

05-05-2006, 04:14 AM	#10592
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Hookbill has gotten me to think of something: The MoS is the first patient in Middle-earth's break through laser eye surgery... __________________ Fenris Penguin

05-05-2006, 12:14 PM	#10593
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	Mouth of Sauron: Awww, Aragorn, you bought me a bouquet of athelas! (dunno, that's what it looks like to me) __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

05-05-2006, 02:35 PM	#10594
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Phew what a stink The words Cheesy Grin refer to the smell and not the look __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

05-05-2006, 03:15 PM	#10595
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	A Profound Philosophic Dialogue DIAMOND: I'm afraid the Wolves win. MOUTH OF SAURON: What?! But I killed the last werewolf fair and square... DIAMOND: Not exactly. You see, there were three extra Cobblers, an Owl, a Pussycat and a secret Cursed Villager. ELEMPI: Not to mention the Duelling Wizards who transformed you into a Black Beorning. MOUTH OF SAURON: Argh! And people wonder why I forget my own name! Curse this game and its cruel contortions! __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

05-05-2006, 06:08 PM	#10596
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Mouth of Sauron: I have a message from my master I was bidden to tell thee... Aragorn: Yeah we know, get on with it, so I can chop off your head. Mouth of Sauron: No! It's a new pic! Gimli surely didn't expect dwarf women to look like this... __________________ Fenris Penguin