What do you assign to Mordor?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign the bitter realization that The Perfect Man really is gay... and has a mad crush on one of your best guy friends.

[Lhunardawen]

Biting your tongue, literally. Chewing on something with much gusto when suddenly your cannibalistic tendencies overcome you, and you end up with a bothersome wound on your tongue and a bit of its skin scraped off.

[Naria]

Ha ha....that was a good one, Lhuna!! So true!

I would like to assign, Allergies to Mordor....I'm allergic to everything summer and it sucks!!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Shredded lettuce. Does anybody really need their vegetation in microscopic pieces? And if it's iceberg lettuce... ooh, don't even get me started on iceberg lettuce.

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by me, from "What do you assign to the Shire?"

Cramming, but with the knowledge that everything's under control. It feels so...liberating.

Realizing the next day that things aren't quite under control, after all.

Also, I send Frodo and Sam to Mordor - right at Sammath Naur - , so they wouldn't have to travel far. A deus ex machina if you ever saw one. Who needs Gollum?

Of course, it's still up to Frodo if he'll throw the Ring. If he won't, then I'll relocate him to right inside Mount Doom.

[Eonwe]

Ripped contacts and smarting eyes...they hurt.

[Thinlómien]

That you're having a Silmarillion-obsession (that is more serious than the one you're having all the time), but you don't have time because you are in a help leader training or on the 'downs or you have schoolwork to do. That's just awful.

[Lalwendë]

I assign another weekend from Hell. It begins when a normal eye examination turns into a two hour horror akin to something from Marathon Man but with eyes and bright lights instead of teeth and drills, and then the optician finds something dodgy in one eye. So now I have to wait until the hospital can look at it to tell me if it's bad and if they have a glass eye and a patch on ice for me. *shudder*

Then I get up on Saturday morning and find we cannot get into the front room as the door catch was jammed (this is where the computers and the telly are, so it was doubly horrific) so davem had to kick the door down like in a scene from the Professionals. Despite this being funny, it split apart an original door frame and the blast knocked the pictures off the walls!

Then we stayed in all day expecting snow and there was nothing! to top this off, one of the cats had an 'accident' in the laundry pile at bedtime on Sunday. And today you realise that your job is possibly the most boring job going.

I hope chocolate has not been sent to Mordor...

[Lalaith]

Everything I said in post 908. To the power of 10.

And my own stubborness - for continuing to vent my frustration at some support centre incompetent, telling him exactly what I thought of him and his cowboy employers, even though I knew it was costing me 50p a minute for the pleasure, and that I also knew that was the only reason he was putting up with it and not putting the phone down on me.

[Bêthberry]

Tree roots! Yes, that's right, tree roots. Tree roots that grow into underground water pipes, and slowly block the pipes, making the sewers back up. EEEWWWW.

[Laitoste]

Snow. Especially nine inches of it coming off a 60 degree Fahrenheit weekend. What is this stupid weather trying to do to me? I hate March.

[JennyHallu]

People coming to visit for a few days with very little notice, and going to the beach while you're at work. Can't concentrate...grrr...

I'm glad they're visiting...but why can't they, oh, clean my room for me? or do dishes? (scratch that, they did the dishes last night...)

Drat. No real grounds to complain...but I do wish I were on the beach with them.

[Lhunardawen]

Those irritating tiny red things that pop out of your face to inform you that you're not getting enough sleep or you're worrying too much. Hello?! Finals week is coming up quick and I don't need anything to remind me of that, thank you very much. Get out of my face and stick yourself onto the nearest Nazgûl, will ya?

And forgetting things. You're talking animatedly with someone and you give him/her a chance to speak and come up with something different to say while he/she's speaking, then when it's your turn to talk you forget all about it. And what's worse is that it gets lodged in your mind and nags you let it out but you don't even know what it is. Frustrating.

[Lalaith]

I've assigned my own stubborness to Mordor, now I'd like to add vanity and poor sense of time.
Twenty four minutes left on the parking meter? Easily enough time to go to the bank and the fishmonger...oh and of course to pop into the shoe shop to try on a couple of pairs of boots in the sale, and that dress they had in the window of the designer shop, I wonder if I could get away with the smaller size...try on both to make sure....
Result = Parking Ticket, Cost £40. Thoroughly deserved.
At least I didn't buy anything other than fish, in the end, so I can afford to pay for the ticket....

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Snow! It was nearly 70* two days ago. I wore a skirt and a light shirt. And last night there was snow! Grr to spring. It should be consistently warmer and warmer, not temptingly beautiful changing quickly to cold. The crocuses will die.

[JennyHallu]

Lalaith...please don't tell me you walked through these boutiques carrying a package of fish...

Thank goodness for good, old-fashioned American supermarkets.

But I'm going to assign them to Mordor anyway. Meijer, at least.

There is a product manufactured by Heinz 57 called "Salad Cream" that is only marketed and sold in Europe. (Europeans, do you know what I'm talking about?) Meijer has several aisles of imported food products, and you can get the most delightful things, including this product, which is delicious. I love the international foods aisles, and every time I have ever been in a Meijer I walk through and always find some interesting and unusual thing I'm excited to try.

Now I have moved to a new city, and guess what? No Meijers, and none of the supermarkets or grocery stores here have any international foods beyond a small section of hispanic foods. So naturally, and logically, I am assigning Meijer Corporation to Mordor for not anticipating my move and adjusting their long term plans to fit the details of my life.

[Lalaith]

Yes, I know all about salad cream...and I'm sorry to say I loathe it. But my brothers loved it and missed it dreadfully after moving abroad....it's one of those Shire/Mordor things, like Marmite (another AtM for me, but I know it has its passionate fans here on the Downs...)

And no, I didn't take the fish into the boutiques...like a true girl, I did shoes first, fish later.

[Valier]

I hereby send ALL ESSAY'S to Mordor! They are dreadful and horrid! Why? Oh why? must there be SO MANY!!!

[Kath]

I assign my printer, who for some unknown reason decided that it would be really fun to print my entire essay out in yellow.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

Snow! It was nearly 70* two days ago. I wore a skirt and a light shirt. And last night there was snow! Grr to spring. It should be consistently warmer and warmer, not temptingly beautiful changing quickly to cold. The crocuses will die.

It was 78 here the day before yesterday. And it snowed this morning, but nothing stayed. It was sunny again (but cold) by late afternoon.

Stupid weather shifts. The poor flowers and budding trees don't need to be confused.

[Lhunardawen]

The combination of an oil-slicked floor, slippery-soled shoes, and the force of gravity. And public transport.

[Cailín]

*whimpers* Alcohol.

And exams. Especially the combination of those two evils, I suppose.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Truthfulness. It always gets you in trouble. Especially if you tell people you're a werewolf.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Antidisestablishmentarianism

[Formendacil]

Sleeping in until 1:30 pm...

No, seriously, I mean it. Okay, sure I don't have to do anything until 5:30, and okay, it's true that I only got to bed at around 3:00 am thanks to the 'Downs, and yes, it was blissful while it lasted...

However, when you were planning to get up at 10:30, or before noon anyway, to find that you pretty much lost half your pre-work day isn't fun.

Especially when you're having a near-hypoglycemic episode.

And, by the way, I am sending hypoglycemia to Mordor. Let's see the orks deal with diabetes.

[Eonwe]

Poeple who don't use their turn signals. or even worse, turn them on in their turn. That is not helpful. At all.

[Lalwendë]

I send to Mordor useless workplace events. The kind of thing where everyone is brought together and made to go to a hotel and do activities and listen to dull talks and 'network'. Bah Humbug. The same old things turn up as 'moans' at every single one, which suggests that all this 'feedback' never gets acted upon anyway, and they take you away from all that work that's just poling up on your desk and you know the next week is going to be more busy than ever.

Still, it's always enlivened by a little subversive activity. Such as during a session using art and crafts to express what our work 'means', making pink hearts with "I Luv Work" written on them in gold glitter and sticking them on the 'group collage'. Meh.

[Shelob]

I would like to take a moment and assign the idiotic behavour of my school peers to Mordor. For four years now they have lost us one privilage after another and not only did their actions recently lose us all non-stictly-supervised computer use but they have not ceased to behave like the most baseborn of all idiotic creatures ever to exist. Just once I'd like to have a situation where our grades are called together for some purpose other than being lectured at. Failing that I wish that the administration would at least do something. Seriously, if they can take the effort to regularly lecture us and restrict those scant privilages we have remaining you'd think they could exert a little mental thought, or even just look around, and punish just one of the failures.

Gah, thank you.

[Laitoste]

Scheduling. That most evil time of year in which you are required to plan out the rest of your life and made to believe you have absolutely no time to do anything you actually WANT to do just because you have a riduculous amount of General Education requirements left to fulfill and then you won't be able to study abroad and you are going to be a failure at life and so on and so forth. It sucks. I ought to have it easy for next semester, because I already know three of the classes that I have to take. And yet, I don't know whether to take my theology or my math credit and then where am I going to get my physical activity credits and do you see what I mean? And then, the administration thought it would be a good idea to schedule room draw for the same week! So people are not only going to be stressed out about classes, but also who they want to live with next year and how to avoid living in the "bad" dorms. So, in other words, I'm sending the administration of my school. The Board of Regents, too. I like the president we have, thank you. We don't need a new one.

[Lathriel]

My French prof. can be sent to Mordor cause he is the most horrible teacher I have ever had. He expects us to know all these different things that he has never taught us the verbs or he has only spent like one class on them!!!!!!! Aren't verbs some of the most important things you have to learn when you learn a different language!!!!!!
Ok. That feels better, this is such a good threat to rant on.

[Cailín]

Scary, mouldy French cheeses. Ew, nasty.

[Kath]

Ears that are still thawing half an hour after you've come in from the cold - it hurts!

Oh and the library not having the books you wanted so you have to stand there for half an hour while the nice librarian lady finds them on the catalogue and orders them in for you.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Learning that the school library has none of the items that you need. Getting an extension on your paper so that you have time to track them down, and learning that the public library hasn't got them either. The draft is due today and I don't actually have over half of my sources in hand. I'm going to have to wing it and edit later.

[Mithalwen]

Cheap nylon carpets.

I couldn't understand why my hair had become so ridiculously full of static electricity. I haven't had this problem since I left school. Then I realised that it is my new assignment in a hospital - traipsing endless corridors on institution carpet has left me crackling and looking like I have been attached to a van de Graaff generator.

[piosenniel]

Death and his attendants, come too soon . . .

[Laitoste]

Wireless internet. See my post in the What do you "assign" to the Shire? thread.

[Elu Ancalime]

I would assign Communists. Every orc is equal, they all are labors (class struggle) but theres really a dictator controlling it all.
________
Justin bieber fan

[Alcarillo]

Better hope Rune doesn't hear that . . .

And, um, I would like to assign to Mordor whenever people mispronounce my last name. Maybe I should move to Germany or Switzerland, where everybody would pronounce it correctly.

[the guy who be short]

I would assign Communists. Every orc is equal, they all are labors (class struggle) but theres really a dictator controlling it all.

Sadly, the perfect world has already been assigned.

I'll assign the exploitation of the workers.

On a serious note, I want to assign the confusion of communism with such notions as Stalinism, armed revolution and fascism.

[Cailín]

Procrastinating - though it may already be there.

I have perfected the art thus that I started making lists of what I still have to do before tomorrow, blink at the screen, feel nauseous, panic slightly and then go back to pointlessly refreshing the Downs index page.

I feel I am doomed.