The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Hookbill the Goomba]

News for dead people.

Special thanks to Squatter for some mini headlines.



This week, The Phantom gets fed up.

[Thinlómien]

Oh no...

[Eönwë]

I wonder... How can a faded elf even hold money?

[Volo]

Wonderful! When I saw the picture I first thought "oh dear, now he wrote something very stupid" but that's great. The medal... Haha!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Volo

The medal... Haha!

A Victoria Cross, dontchaknow!

...

Wait, what do you mean, "something very stupid"? It's quality journalism, sir!

[Groin Redbeard]

I started laughing before I even read the story. Very inciteful Hookbill, I never knew that Thinlomien and Volo are assasins, as well as animal fanatics! Hail to the hero Gil-Glad.

[McCaber]

Originally Posted by Eönwë

I wonder... How can a faded elf even hold money?

Exactly, he has no case whatsoever. My arguments will be successful; the high court has no choice but to agree with me.

[Bêthberry]

There is no truth to the rumour that Bethberry was promoted to MP in charge of Shoes, previously Under-secretary of State Sheds, because her nom de la vie is Imelda Marcos.

Thank you.

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

There is no truth to the rumour that Bethberry was promoted to MP in charge of Shoes, previously Under-secretary of State Sheds, because her nom de la vie is Imelda Marcos.

Thank you.

Ohhhh, thank goodness! That brings me so much relief.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

As those of you who read my (rarely updated) blog may well know, I am going into the hospital a week on Wednesday for surgery and will be 'recovering' or whatever on the following day which is, alas, the Barrow Downs birthday. My brother and I will try and get the Phantom and Alien cartoon done before then, but it may well turn up late.

Moreover, the doctors say there could be 'complications' and they may have to call me back, probably on the Monday. This means I may miss posting the paper that week, (it'll be week # 095). My current line of thinking is to either post it up earlier, just in case, or to farm it out to someone (probably the phantom or someone else who has been 'involved' in the Downer) to post up for you all to read.

The bad news is that there is a chance (a very small, almost negligible, chance) that the surgery could prove fatal. I'm going to try and be about three weeks ahead at that point, so I may send whoever the three advanced weeks to keep you all in Downery goodness.

But before you crack open the champagne and party poppers, this is the absolute worse case scenario and is almost certain not to happen... Although knowing my luck...

[Gwathagor]

That sounds unpleasant, Hookbill. I hope it goes well and you 'recover' swiftly.

On the bright side...do you get general anesthetic? Because I was put under when I had my wisdom teeth out and it was the most fun I'd had in a long time.

Let us know what we can do to help with the Downer.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Special thanks to the phantom once again for some excellent work on the second story and the mini-headlines



Alien finds some magic this week!



News on the Barrow Birthday thing...

I've given my brother the story board for another cartoon about the Phantom and Alien and he says it will be relatively easy to put together. I'm going to get the voice of Alien done before I got to hospital and hope that he puts it all together while I'm under the knife. Since the Barrow Birthday is on the Thursday when I may be 'recovering' or whatever, the cartoon may not be posted until the Friday, so I hope you peoples are okay with that. I'm hoping they let me 'recover' at home. If that is the case, then posting it won't be a problem.

[Eönwë]

Yum, a magical sandwich. That was probably one of my favourite P&As.

Also, good luck with the surgery.

[Brinniel]

Haha, after Lommy stuck her head in that cannon I said to her, "Now I'm sure Hookbill will come up with a lovely story to go along with that picture in the Downer."
Her response: Oh no....

Oh, and a comment about one of the previous week's sub-headlines:

Pandas invented sneezing say environmentalists

I couldn't help but be reminded of this video.

[Nerwen]

Best wishes, Hookbill. I must say, you're being very brave about this operation-thing. The one time I had (extremely minor) surgery, I was a total wimp.

[the phantom]

Yes, best of luck, Hookbill. Tell the operators that they have to do everything perfectly. I mean- surely they understand how important The Downer is to the world. They wouldn't dare to damage its publisher/ editor/ chief writer/ lead reporter/ owner/ printer!

[the phantom]

Oh, and Nerwen- rumor has it that you will be featured in an article here in a week or two.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

Best wishes, Hookbill. I must say, you're being very brave about this operation-thing. The one time I had (extremely minor) surgery, I was a total wimp.

There really is only one thing going through my mind about it...

[Lhunardawen]

Oh come now, Hookbill, don't be so pessimistic! Even the worst surgeons known to humankind will be experts compared to Alien.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I went to the hospital for a 'pre-op' thingy-me-bob and got some news..
They say that the whole thing will be over very quickly; I'll go into the hospital on Tuesday and wait until I go to theatre either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. I will very likely be able to go home on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning.
Why am I telling you this?
Because the NEW Phantom and Alien cartoon is set for release on Thursday (the Barrow Birthday) and I want to be here to post it. Although, if things go wrong, I may ask my brother to post it up in some way or another. I don't know.

So, that's the long and short o' it. Risk of death 0.02%, risk of annoyance 97.3%

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Once again I lack the ability to fall asleep, so for some of you this Downer may be a day early or whatever. But it is technically Monday here in Blighty...

More thanks to the phantom for the second story and mini headlines.



This week, Alien goes magic... I should have given him his pointy hat again.



Moreover, we are 5 weeks away from week 100!!! If you have anything you would like included in the extra special, five page edition of The Downer, then PM it to me. You can send; pictures, 5-600 word articles, puzzles or even little cartoons (not P&A, mind... They're MINE!).

Also, Oxonmooters, you may also PM me some stuff for the Moot edition. It will be 5 or six pages long as well.

Have fun, peoples!

[Groin Redbeard]

Poor Volo! Still, I'm glad to see that Aganzir is there to carry on his legacy! That's when you find who your friends are, way'ta go Aganzir (just don't kill me).

I'm thrilled from my toes to my eyebrows, I was mentioned in the Downer! Thise IS an honor beyond belief!

Best of luck with the surgery Hookbill, I hope all goes well.

P.S. Thank you for describing me as a dwarf, Phantom, I really appreciated that bit!

[Nerwen]

Thank you, thank you, Phantom. You have given meaning to my otherwise pointless existence!

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I went to the hospital for a 'pre-op' thingy-me-bob and got some news..
They say that the whole thing will be over very quickly; I'll go into the hospital on Tuesday and wait until I go to theatre either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. I will very likely be able to go home on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning.
Why am I telling you this?
Because the NEW Phantom and Alien cartoon is set for release on Thursday (the Barrow Birthday) and I want to be here to post it. Although, if things go wrong, I may ask my brother to post it up in some way or another. I don't know.

So, that's the long and short o' it. Risk of death 0.02%, risk of annoyance 97.3%

Here's a little something to while away the hours while you wait for the lights to dim in that theatre, Hookbill: Surgical Theatre. Let's hope that it is critics who have the unkindest cuts.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

About what happened in week 94: I would like a re-match, I am sure the referees where baised.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

Here's a little something to while away the hours while you wait for the lights to dim in that theatre, Hookbill: Surgical Theatre. Let's hope that it is critics who have the unkindest cuts.

... I think I preferred Alien with a chainsaw.

However, this is the perfect opportunity for people to suggest obituaries to put the paper, isn't it?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Haha, this time The Downer just totally got me Especially the Phantom's article and the first five headlines (I experienced an uncontrollable outbreak of laughter when reading that ), and also, the comics!!!

[the phantom]

So, did anyone figure out the trivia question? It's a tricky one.

Nerwen and Groin- glad to be of service.

[Volo]

This was the first time I read the Downer in the school library and yes, I laughed.

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by the phantom

So, did anyone figure out the trivia question? It's a tricky one.

It obviously, couldn't be the Witch-King, and I can't think of any other kings so I think I'll go with, erm, Cirdan?

[the phantom]

The Grand Admiral of The Downer is temporarily out of action, but so strong is Hookbill's will that even all the doctors in the world cannot stop his printing press.

Special thanks to someone or other for the mini-headlines and second story.



This week Phantom is thankful that Alien's outlandishness has manifest itself in a nondestructive manner.

[Lhunardawen]

the phantom out of ideas? That's impossible.

But that no harm of any sort came to Phantom in this week's comic...it seems biased.

[the phantom]

the phantom out of ideas? That's impossible.

Not necessarily. Right this second, for instance, I couldn't think up an idea to save my life. I've been getting very little sleep for the last week and a half. But next week... ahh... semester over.

And Eonwe, no sorry, you got the trivia question wrong. It's okay, it's a tough one. Here's a hint- look at the capitalized word. Heh heh... but something tells me you already knew that.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Just so everyone knows, I'm back from hospital and all the important government business I had to attend to.

We've run into some problems encoding The Phantom and Alien cartoon into video, but as soon as it's fixed it'll be up for your viewing pleasure.

[satansaloser2005]

All hail the return of Hookbill! Glad everything went well dearie!

~~Sally~~

[The Might]

Nice to see you're only dead on the Downs!
It is indeed good to have you back, Hookbill!

Btw, nice P&A edition, finally one where Alien is the one to suffer for a change... although he may actually be feeling good after that given how strange he normally is.

[Eönwë]

Yay!
Hookbill has returned. I·Hookbill antúlien! (Legate will tell me if thats right. He knows all).

Its very nice to see you back after so many years (In Downs-time).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ladies and gentlewights,

Sorry it's a bit late, but here, at last, to celebrate the Barrow Downs Birthday, is another Phantom and Alien cartoon:

THE PHANTOM'S JOB HUNT

Before you click, check out this preview picture fo no reason:



The sound is a bit crackly. Not sure why. We tried everything to fix it.

[Morai]

The last line was my favorite ;P.

[Eönwë]

P&A never fails to make me laugh, and these animations are even funnier than normal.