Crazy Captions - Page 217 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Boromir88 · 12-04-2005, 08:36 AM

Instead of telling the Hobbit Children a simple story, Bilbo sings them an opera..."Figuero! Figuero!"

Glirdan · 12-04-2005, 09:00 AM

Unknown to Bilbo, everyone behind him was a Wolf plotting to attack him that Night.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 12-04-2005, 10:08 AM

Despite his brushes with wolves and dragons, Bilbo's scariest stories involved arthritis and false teeth.

or

"My Arkenstone was beautiful; it was this big!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-04-2005, 10:10 AM

Bilbo sat on a splinter.

OR

Bilbo: What have I got in my pocket?

Lalwendë · 12-04-2005, 10:14 AM

Bilbo's Tommy Cooper impersonation was lost on the little Hobbits, who were too young to understand.

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-04-2005, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Bilbo's Tommy Cooper impersonation was lost on the little Hobbits, who were too young to understand.

Bilbo: Watch me at the speech! I'll disappear... Just like that!

Kitanna · 12-04-2005, 10:28 AM

Bilbo: And then I ate this huge taco!
Hobbit children: How big was it Bilbo?
Bilbo: This big!

Gothmog · 12-04-2005, 11:08 AM

Bilbo's impersonation of Ozzy in his show amused the young hobbits. It was perfect!

OR

Bilbo: What am I suppossed to do with you then? When they asked me what I wanted for present, I said "You're young, you'll think of something" not "your young, you'll think of something"!

(look at the boy in front, the left one of the two with their heads turned a bit. Is it a young Frodo I see?

)

Bêthberry · 12-04-2005, 11:29 AM

Bilbo: "I ended up with just this tiny ring, but the fish that got away was this big. "

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-04-2005, 11:30 AM

Bilbo: I mean it! This arthritis it really bad! Someone call a doctor! Don't just sit there giggling! I need medical attention!

Children:

Boromir88 · 12-04-2005, 12:38 PM

The Hobbit children stare on in confusion as Bilbo goes on about "huge tracks of land."

Meela · 12-04-2005, 01:33 PM

Bilbo fails his Santa audition when he accidentally drops the Hobbit child on the ground.

Mithalwen · 12-04-2005, 01:44 PM

The hobbit children were mesmerised .... not by the story but by the tantalising selection of food on the table behind him.... when would the old buffer shut up and let them eat?

davem · 12-04-2005, 04:06 PM

Bilbo discovers which hobbit has stolen the Ring:

'Fatty Bolger! I thought I recognised that A***!'

Alcarillo · 12-04-2005, 04:25 PM

Bilbo just can't get the children's attention off of the hobbit drinking the whole barrel of punch.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 12-04-2005, 04:38 PM

Bilbo had placed him self strategic wrong, when he tried to convince the children that all the foot had been eaten.

Valesse · 12-04-2005, 08:07 PM

Bilbo: Okay, we've been at this all day without getting anywhere. N tell me how do I get from Munchkinland back to Hobbiton quick and simple?

OR

Bilbo has flashbacks of the Mirkwood spiders during an unopprotune moment.

OR

Bilbo: Haha, very funny. Now which one of you little squirts has my pocket watch?

Ordimor · 12-04-2005, 08:11 PM

Alright now children - if everybody grabs a finger and pulls them all at the same time we'll show Gandalf some real fireworks!

Gurthang · 12-05-2005, 12:01 AM

Bilbo: "Now, Frodo...What? You're not Frodo?... Are you Frodo? BLAST Which of you is Frodo! You all look the same!"

OR

Bilbo can't believe that the hobbit children are more interested in the piece of pottery sitting beside him then they are in him.

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-05-2005, 12:52 AM

Bilbo: Look, for the last time, I don't have your money! Can you come back on Monday?

OR

The Hobbit Children sit patiently as mad Baggins goes on about inn-sewer-ants.

(Go Pratchet!)

Maeggaladiel · 12-05-2005, 01:01 AM

It was a rousing game of "Who Can Entertain the Children." And so far, the porcelain mug seemed to be winning.

OR

The children loved watching Uncle Bilbo do "The Robot," especially when his back gave out on him in the process.

Lhunardawen · 12-05-2005, 01:32 AM

Bilbo: Don't you understand the words coming out of my mouth?!!

luthien-elvenprincess · 12-05-2005, 06:32 AM

Bilbo, "But...I like you all...you remind me of myself when I was young and stupid...now will you just go away? And quit pouring water into my rain guage at night!

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-05-2005, 03:00 PM

Bilbo accidentally says there is no Father Christmas!

OR

Bilbo: Have any of you seen a little gold ring? I'm sure I put it somewhere around here.

Gandalf_the _white · 12-05-2005, 06:00 PM

Bilbo: Whatsa matter you?
Children: Hey!
Bilbo: Gotta no respect.
Children: Hey!
etc...

Gurthang · 12-05-2005, 06:37 PM

Bilbo: "Can you hear me now?"

OR

Bilbo: "I am Chuck Norris! I will fight you!"

Boromir88 · 12-05-2005, 07:02 PM

Bilbo: I lost my scrapbook full of pictures! Why it was just right here. It had all sorts of snapshots from my journey.

Hobbit Child: Is this it Uncle Bilbo?

Bilbo: Woo, a new pic! Hey, how'd that one get in there?

This is what happens when Pippin has had too many drinks...

Pippin: Ol' Bilbo Baggins had a farm, ee-ii-ee-ii-ooo. And on that farm he had a pig, ee-ii-ee-ii-ooo. With an oink, oink here, oink, oink, there, here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink oink. Ol' Bilbo had a farm, ee-ii-ee-ii-ooo.

Kitanna · 12-05-2005, 07:10 PM

Pippin: Sam stepped in what?! HAHA!

or

Merry drops a brick on Pippin's toe.

The Only Real Estel · 12-05-2005, 07:16 PM

For those of you who've seen a lot of Family Guy...

Bilbo: "So there I was. Surrounded by three monstrous trolls! And they were all arguing about how they were going to – Uh-oh.”

-OR-

Poor Uncle Bilbo wet himself at the sight of one of those monsters from The Village. (see right side)

Eonwe · 12-05-2005, 08:40 PM

Pippin: It's time to look sooooo good (in scarves!).

Ordimor · 12-05-2005, 09:20 PM

Merry: Have you ever sang that song with a "wedgish" accent?

Pippin: Uh .. a what?

... ripping sound ...

Pippin: AAAHHHHHHH !!!!

The Only Real Estel · 12-05-2005, 09:21 PM

It's all fun and games at the Green Dragon until a badly drunk Pippin drapes a boa constrictor around his neck.

Ordimor · 12-05-2005, 10:18 PM

Merry and Pippin were the last two contestants in the Paul Lynde look-alike contest.

The Elf-warrior · 12-05-2005, 10:32 PM

M&P thought that Gimli's singing was a riot.

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-06-2005, 12:53 AM

Pippin seems to have sat on a spike. Merry thinks its amusing.

OR

The returning champions of the fly catching contest set about defending their title.

luthien-elvenprincess · 12-06-2005, 01:09 AM

Pippen, "Alright!!! We just won an all-expense paid trip to...where was that place Merry?"

Merry, "uh...I don't know...Mordo...Moron...Mordor or somewhere...who cares, we're goin, man!

Pippen, "Yeah! Do ya think the motel has a full buffet for breakfast?"

Maeggaladiel · 12-06-2005, 03:09 AM

Merry's ventriloquism dummy was a big hit at parties.

OR

Merry didn't realize that Pippin WASN'T joking about the approaching giant spiders until it was too late. Why, oh why did Bilbo let Frodo keep Shelob in the basement?

HerenIstarion · 12-06-2005, 06:21 AM

M. What does mine say?
P. Cool! And what does mine say?
M. Sweet! And what does mine say?
P. Cool! And what does mine say?
M. Sweet! And what... etc

Meela · 12-06-2005, 07:19 AM

A well-placed pinch from Merry helps Pippin hit that high C he's always wanted.

Oddwen · 12-06-2005, 10:33 AM

For the Bilbo pic:

B: There I was at the mercy of three monstrous...is he looking? Please, you've got to help me! I'm being held captive in my own hole by a mad naked Wizard!

Or...

B: Whaat? Whaaat? You not put mushroomps in zoup? Why you not put mushroomps in zoup? I ask-a you to put mushroomps in zoup, you not put mushroomps in zoup. What, you zink all I do all day is put mushroomps in zoup?

Or...

Bilbo: Doesn't anyone here speak a word of Westron?!?

Child: Klaatu Barada Niktau.

Children: *giggle*

Or...

B: And then they Sent me to Mordor! I ask you, is that fair?

Or...

Bilbo the Conductor gets increasingly frustrated with his musicians.

Or...

Bilbo the Evil Sorcerer calls from the ground his Army of Death!

Or...

Bilbo the Mime pretends to lift a cauldron of beer to his lips!

Or (to play off Hooky)...
B: Yes yes, I'll have your money, just give me a few days! What? My...my table of food? But...but...take anything, just not my table of food!

Or...

B: Nothing up my sleeve...

Or...

B: A little shake, a few magic words, lalla ralla balla bam!! Your penny is gone!
Small child: I want my penny! MOMMIE! HE STOLE MY PENNY!

Or...

B: I'm telling you, they don't make 'em like that anymore!

Or...

B: Okay, here's what you do...go to the fireworks cart, find the biggest firework, and meet me outside the party grounds at oh, ninteen hundred.

Or...

B: I'm making you guys the deal of a lifetime! For a limited time, you can get *two* Rings of Power for the price of one, with free shipping! As seen on Palantiri!

Or...

B: I tell you what I want in a woman, I want a stomach this big!

Or...maybe I should stop.

12-04-2005, 08:36 AM	#8641
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Instead of telling the Hobbit Children a simple story, Bilbo sings them an opera..."Figuero! Figuero!" __________________ Fenris Penguin

12-04-2005, 09:00 AM	#8642
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	Unknown to Bilbo, everyone behind him was a Wolf plotting to attack him that Night. __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

12-04-2005, 10:08 AM	#8643
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Despite his brushes with wolves and dragons, Bilbo's scariest stories involved arthritis and false teeth. or "My Arkenstone was beautiful; it was this big!" __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

12-04-2005, 10:10 AM	#8644
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Bilbo sat on a splinter. OR Bilbo: What have I got in my pocket? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-04-2005, 10:14 AM	#8645
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Bilbo's Tommy Cooper impersonation was lost on the little Hobbits, who were too young to understand. __________________ Gordon's alive!

12-04-2005, 10:28 AM	#8647
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Bilbo: And then I ate this huge taco! Hobbit children: How big was it Bilbo? Bilbo: This big! __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

12-04-2005, 11:08 AM	#8648
Gothmog Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Where I lay my head is home Posts: 421	Bilbo's impersonation of Ozzy in his show amused the young hobbits. It was perfect! OR Bilbo: What am I suppossed to do with you then? When they asked me what I wanted for present, I said "You're young, you'll think of something" not "your young, you'll think of something"! (look at the boy in front, the left one of the two with their heads turned a bit. Is it a young Frodo I see? ) __________________ Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...

12-04-2005, 11:29 AM	#8649
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,996	Bilbo: "I ended up with just this tiny ring, but the fish that got away was this big. " __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

12-04-2005, 11:30 AM	#8650
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Bilbo: I mean it! This arthritis it really bad! Someone call a doctor! Don't just sit there giggling! I need medical attention! Children: __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-04-2005, 12:38 PM	#8651
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	The Hobbit children stare on in confusion as Bilbo goes on about "huge tracks of land." __________________ Fenris Penguin

12-04-2005, 01:33 PM	#8652
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	Bilbo fails his Santa audition when he accidentally drops the Hobbit child on the ground. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

12-04-2005, 01:44 PM	#8653
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,458	The hobbit children were mesmerised .... not by the story but by the tantalising selection of food on the table behind him.... when would the old buffer shut up and let them eat? __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

12-04-2005, 04:06 PM	#8654
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	Bilbo discovers which hobbit has stolen the Ring: 'Fatty Bolger! I thought I recognised that A***!' __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

12-04-2005, 04:25 PM	#8655
Alcarillo Shadow of the Past Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Minas Mor-go Posts: 1,007	Bilbo just can't get the children's attention off of the hobbit drinking the whole barrel of punch.

12-04-2005, 08:07 PM	#8657
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 614	Bilbo: Okay, we've been at this all day without getting anywhere. N tell me how do I get from Munchkinland back to Hobbiton quick and simple? OR Bilbo has flashbacks of the Mirkwood spiders during an unopprotune moment. OR Bilbo: Haha, very funny. Now which one of you little squirts has my pocket watch? __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

12-04-2005, 08:11 PM	#8658
Ordimor Haunting Spirit Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: At the Double-Cross Ranch Posts: 74	Alright now children - if everybody grabs a finger and pulls them all at the same time we'll show Gandalf some real fireworks! __________________ *** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? ***

12-05-2005, 12:01 AM	#8659
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Bilbo: "Now, Frodo...What? You're not Frodo?... Are you Frodo? BLAST Which of you is Frodo! You all look the same!" OR Bilbo can't believe that the hobbit children are more interested in the piece of pottery sitting beside him then they are in him. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

12-05-2005, 12:52 AM	#8660
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Bilbo: Look, for the last time, I don't have your money! Can you come back on Monday? OR The Hobbit Children sit patiently as mad Baggins goes on about inn-sewer-ants. (Go Pratchet!) __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-05-2005, 01:01 AM	#8661
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 500	It was a rousing game of "Who Can Entertain the Children." And so far, the porcelain mug seemed to be winning. OR The children loved watching Uncle Bilbo do "The Robot," especially when his back gave out on him in the process. __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

12-05-2005, 01:32 AM	#8662
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Bilbo: Don't you understand the words coming out of my mouth?!!

12-05-2005, 06:32 AM	#8663
luthien-elvenprincess Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn? Posts: 1,031	Bilbo, "But...I like you all...you remind me of myself when I was young and stupid...now will you just go away? And quit pouring water into my rain guage at night! __________________ York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best!

12-05-2005, 03:00 PM	#8664
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Bilbo accidentally says there is no Father Christmas! OR Bilbo: Have any of you seen a little gold ring? I'm sure I put it somewhere around here. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-05-2005, 06:00 PM	#8665
Gandalf_the _white Wight Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world Posts: 155	Bilbo: Whatsa matter you? Children: Hey! Bilbo: Gotta no respect. Children: Hey! etc...

12-05-2005, 06:37 PM	#8666
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Bilbo: "Can you hear me now?" OR Bilbo: "I am Chuck Norris! I will fight you!" __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

12-05-2005, 07:02 PM	#8667
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,518	Bilbo: I lost my scrapbook full of pictures! Why it was just right here. It had all sorts of snapshots from my journey. Hobbit Child: Is this it Uncle Bilbo? Bilbo: Woo, a new pic! Hey, how'd that one get in there? This is what happens when Pippin has had too many drinks... Pippin: Ol' Bilbo Baggins had a farm, ee-ii-ee-ii-ooo. And on that farm he had a pig, ee-ii-ee-ii-ooo. With an oink, oink here, oink, oink, there, here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink oink. Ol' Bilbo had a farm, ee-ii-ee-ii-ooo. __________________ Fenris Penguin

12-05-2005, 07:10 PM	#8668
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Pippin: Sam stepped in what?! HAHA! or Merry drops a brick on Pippin's toe. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

12-05-2005, 07:16 PM	#8669
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Bilbo pic For those of you who've seen a lot of Family Guy... Bilbo: "So there I was. Surrounded by three monstrous trolls! And they were all arguing about how they were going to – Uh-oh.” -OR- Poor Uncle Bilbo wet himself at the sight of one of those monsters from The Village. (see right side)

12-05-2005, 08:40 PM	#8670
Eonwe Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: In a world grown ever smaller. Posts: 678	Pippin: It's time to look sooooo good (in scarves!). __________________ I've got bridge club on Wednesday, Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night!

12-05-2005, 09:20 PM	#8671
Ordimor Haunting Spirit Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: At the Double-Cross Ranch Posts: 74	Merry: Have you ever sang that song with a "wedgish" accent? Pippin: Uh .. a what? ... ripping sound ... Pippin: AAAHHHHHHH !!!! __________________ *** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? ***

12-05-2005, 09:21 PM	#8672
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	It's all fun and games at the Green Dragon until a badly drunk Pippin drapes a boa constrictor around his neck.

12-05-2005, 10:18 PM	#8673
Ordimor Haunting Spirit Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: At the Double-Cross Ranch Posts: 74	Merry and Pippin were the last two contestants in the Paul Lynde look-alike contest. __________________ *** What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? ***

12-05-2005, 10:32 PM	#8674
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	M&P thought that Gimli's singing was a riot. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

12-06-2005, 12:53 AM	#8675
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Pippin seems to have sat on a spike. Merry thinks its amusing. OR The returning champions of the fly catching contest set about defending their title. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-06-2005, 01:09 AM	#8676
luthien-elvenprincess Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn? Posts: 1,031	Pippen, "Alright!!! We just won an all-expense paid trip to...where was that place Merry?" Merry, "uh...I don't know...Mordo...Moron...Mordor or somewhere...who cares, we're goin, man! Pippen, "Yeah! Do ya think the motel has a full buffet for breakfast?" __________________ York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best!

12-06-2005, 03:09 AM	#8677
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 500	Merry's ventriloquism dummy was a big hit at parties. OR Merry didn't realize that Pippin WASN'T joking about the approaching giant spiders until it was too late. Why, oh why did Bilbo let Frodo keep Shelob in the basement? __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.