What do you assign to Mordor?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign that point slightly beyond hunger where you stop being hungry. You know that you should eat something, but you're just not hungry any more. Oh, and oranges with too much pith.

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by Lhuny

I conassign to Mordor people who conassign things to Mordor just because...they know why. They know who they are.

Bah! I assign people who don't read what's already been assigned.

Originally Posted by Me

I assign to Mordor people who assign people to Mordor simply because they want the people assigned to Mordor in the Assigned to Mordor thread.

Originally Posted by Elempi

By the way, are you interested in playing next time? I'll bet you end up doing the same.

There's going to be a next time? And I thought I was part of something special... In any case, I can't wait that long.

++Lhunardawen for lack of reading what's been said and for potential future hypocrisy, should she ever be part of an ATM RPG. And also because we killed her brother. Come avenge him! And also because she lives in a very difficult timezone for PMing or WWing.

[Roa_Aoife]

I assign taxes. *grumblegrumble*

[the guy who be short]

I assign people mixing politicians' political life and personal life. Each time I see a politician's private life hit the headlines, I fume. It's nobody's business. Why do people care what politicians do in their spare time? It doesn't affect their ability as a politician at all.

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

Bah! I assign people who don't read what's already been assigned.

How do you know if I'm assigning it for an entirely different reason? I didn't exactly say anything specific, did I?

++Lhunardawen for lack of reading what's been said and for potential future hypocrisy, should she ever be part of an ATM RPG. And also because we killed her brother. Come avenge him! And also because she lives in a very difficult timezone for PMing or WWing.

I've been sent to Mordor? Ouch!

Seriously, tgwbs, can't you come up with more reasonable, uh, reasons?

[Kath]

I assign having two big exams on the same day. In my case it is the largest unit of biology and then the really enormous geography unit that took us a full 6 months to learn! Now it's partly due to the way I revise but basically it means I only have the time (and ability) to properly revise for one of them. Since biology is technically more important I'm going to have to concentrate on that and just hope I fluke the geography like I did last year.

So, yes, there's my life story! Wish me luck for tomorrow

[Lhunardawen]

My own lack of creativity, or so it seems to me. It's scary how one acquires writer's block after only a few hours of deciding to be a writer!

[Orominuialwen]

My english teacher, for telling me right before finals that I had an A in the class, then telling me the other day that I'd had a B all along and that he hadn't changed the grades since he last showed them to me. He just sat there telling me "I have no way to respond to that," as if I were lying to him about the grade he showed me. It makes me so angry not only to have my GPA dragged down by having a B where I thought I had an A, but to have my teacher insinuate that I'm not being honest.

My e-mail, for refusing to move any of the messages out of the inbox and into my folders. It's so frustrating!

[Valier]

I assign Peas....Yes that's right peas,the little green ones.I hope they burn quickly because the stench would definately make me girf

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

My own lack of creativity, or so it seems to me. It's scary how one acquires writer's block after only a few hours of deciding to be a writer!

Thats the trick Lhuna... you have to convince yourself that you are NOT a writer and then start writing anyway... you like Biology, right? just tell yourself enough times for you to believe that you are "writing this story to explain some strange biological phenomena to children" or something like that...

I hereby assign exams and lab-notebooks to Mordor... as well as Lab Reports. It gets so hard to report on something you did not discover, but rather followed clearly outlined instructions to get the expected results (or as it seems to be the case with me, to get a really good example of some odd experimental error that hardly ever happens... but it did happen to my sample)

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Farael

Thats the trick Lhuna... you have to convince yourself that you are NOT a writer and then start writing anyway... you like Biology, right? just tell yourself enough times for you to believe that you are "writing this story to explain some strange biological phenomena to children" or something like that...

I hereby assign exams and lab-notebooks to Mordor... as well as Lab Reports. It gets so hard to report on something you did not discover, but rather followed clearly outlined instructions to get the expected results (or as it seems to be the case with me, to get a really good example of some odd experimental error that hardly ever happens... but it did happen to my sample)

For that entire post, Farael, I send you to the Shire.

But I have to admit that I'll have to figure out how to incorporate Biology as I write...oh wait. I guess I'll have to explain a strange biological phenomenon involving an enormous green reptile.

And lab reps definitely belong to Mordor. *thanks goodness that the days of lab reports are long gone* And lab notebooks...geesh, why in Arda do they ask us to purchase a Chem lab manual at the start of the term, then require a schematic diagram of every experiment before we do them?

Now, to conassign something to Mordor for myself...hmm...

Breaking test tubes, stirring rods, and other glassware in Chem lab. I don't know what it is with me and them, but somehow they manage to slip from my hands and succumb to the force of gravity and undergo an irreversible process that involves the fission of some glass particles.

Oh, I guess the stupid faulty test tube rack deserves to be in their company, too.

[the guy who be short]

I know I've already sent the tabloids to Mordor, but I will not specifically send The Sun to Mordor for its recent abhorrent attack on personal privacy. Nothing would please me more than a few lawsuits against that paper...

[littlemanpoet]

The term 'raise awareness' can go straight to Mordor, and never come back, and never appear in an ATM rpg, for that matter; also, the over-psychologized person who came up with such a sniveling piece of weak-speak when there are at least three, count 'em, three different and better ways to say the same thing:

'get the word out'
'spread the word'
'let people know'

Join me in removing this and other such sniveling pieces of weak-speak from our working vocabularies! Let's spread the word that there are a lot of good old ways of saying things and the latest bureaucrateze is NOT better. Hah!!!

[the guy who be short]

I assign when LMP goes nuts. It's scary.

Also, having to wait for somebody else to post something on this thread so I don't appear to be a grumpy old donkey.

[Thinlómien]

I assign people who are logged in but don't do anything. (Sorry...) The 'Downs are so quiet *sniff*...

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Thinlómien

I assign people who are logged in but don't do anything. (Sorry...) The 'Downs are so quiet *sniff*...

I sometimes leave myself logged in while I do other stuff and wait to see if anyone posts anything! Yeah, we need a good bout of verbal fisticuffs I think - shall I tempt davem by creating a Hobbit/Legendarium baiting post?

Anyway to Mordor with:

Flu - which davem gave me last weekend and I'm still sat at home with a real barking cough and no voice at all. I am now on antibiotics too, as it is on my chest.

My neighbours' keep-fit video - I'm sitting here today and the ornaments on the mantlepiece kept jiggling all over the place. I thought there was an earthquake, it was that bad! Then it started again, and again.... Listening at the wall, I could hear they were doing some kind of fitness video, leaping around the living room with all the grace of a troll operating a piledriver.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Hm... I fear Thinlo's just Assigned me. You see, I'm not used to being visible any more. Generally, in invisible mode, I'd be in the middle of something and have to take off. Window still open, I'd be there... just not doing a blessed thing. Now, visible, I'm afraid I still do it. Now people can simply see Feanor of the Peredhil checking out her User CP for four hours straight on occasion.

I assign tempermental seniors. They're such hypocrites, it drives me nuts. Like they've never complained about school policies.

[Durelin]

I have but one name: Kohlberg. That is who I assign to Mordor.

Why? Well, for teaching the first (or perhaps not) ever 'How to Make People Suddenly Two Dimensional 101.'

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by lmp

The term 'raise awareness' can go straight to Mordor, and never come back ...

Gah! Not content with me having been assigned to Mordor on numerous counts, you have to go and assign a signifigant part of my job too!

Actually, it involves enhancing awareness, which you would no doubt consider to be doubly bad ...

So, I suppose I had better assign some things to Mordor myself, then ...

OK, I assign to Mordor the escalators at Waterloo tube station (yes, the tube remains the bane of my life). Having been out of service for the best part of last year, they were up and running for a grand total of 3 weeks in December/January before breaking down again. They're working again now, but it's only a matter of time ...

I also assign my new commute to work, which takes a grand total of one hour and a half (at least) every morning and every evening. That, however, is counterbalanced by our new place, which is undoubtedly deserving of assignation to the Shire.

Oh, and while I am here, I shall gratuitously assign to Mordor middle-lane hogs and people who dawdle around in front of me when I am in a hurry (whether I am driving or on foot), in case they have not already been assigned (I forget).

And people who spit their chewing gum out on the pavement, where it seems to lurk just waiting for the moment when it can attach itself to the bottom of my shoe.

Originally Posted by the gut who be short

I assign people mixing politicians' political life and personal life.

Which I would counter by assigning those politicians who lie when questioned about their personal life in a misguided attempt to maintain their political careers when it would have been so much easier (and wiser) simply to admit the truth. Particularly those who belong to a party which seeks to portray itself as "whiter than white" and has made political capital from seeking to expose similar lies told by their political opponenets, and those who have in the past been involved in a political campaign based on condemning those who were open about that which they were seeking to conceal.

And, finally, I hereby condemn Tony Blair to Mordor because I cannot stand the odious man.

Well, that feels better.

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by SPM

Which I would counter by assigning those politicians who lie when questioned about their personal life in a misguided attempt to maintain their political careers when it would have been so much easier (and wiser) simply to admit the truth. Particularly those who belong to a party which seeks to portray itself as "whiter than white" and has made political capital from seeking to expose similar lies told by their political opponenets, and those who have in the past been involved in a political campaign based on condemning those who were open about that which they were seeking to conceal.

Well then...

I assign societies and cultures than persecute people simply for being who they are, forcing them to conceal their true nature.

I assign being unable to not have the last word.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by TGBWS

I assign societies and cultures than persecute people simply for being who they are, forcing them to conceal their true nature.

And I assign, in return, those who are so weak as to feel constrained by such (mild, in this case - certainly now) societal pressures and, at the same time, so desperate to grasp and cling on to power, that they feel it necessary to deny their true (personal) nature and then lie when questioned about it.

Originally Posted by TGWBS

I assign being unable to not have the last word.

Ditto.

[Mithalwen]

Well said, SpM...

and since you haven't done so .... I will

I hereby consign Tax Returns and misinformation to Mordor.

[Kath]

I assign people who think they know a lot about a subject when they in fact know next to nothing and still insist on being involved in every part of the decision making process.

(I would just have assigned my father but I think I did that already!)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

I assign being unable to not have the last word.

I assign split infinitives and double negatives.

And totally mysterious illnesses that crop up when least expected and don't have you feeling sick, exactly, but you know that there's something wrong.

[Anguirel]

I assign the Valley of Lost Things.

Why does it have to steal the most vital little red bits of paper?

[Lhunardawen]

I assign crazy pop-up windows in this computer I'm *closes pop-up window* currently using that I have to close *closes pop-up window* every so often.

But wait...there's more!

I assign the computer itself, for logging me out of MSN Messenger while I speak, so to speak, with someone. Grrr!

And I assign having to say goodbye to things you've somehow become attached to. And the people who are responsible for such things happening. *gives Nilp a big *

[Lhunardawen]

Show-offs, know-it-alls, and people who butt in in conversations with a show of either of those two are without a doubt worthy of Mordor.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Biting into a soft tomato. You can't get the taste out of your mouth, you can't get the feeling out of that dull squish and it ruins the entire rest of the salad for you.

[the phantom]

...and it ruins the entire rest of the salad for you.

Serves you right for eating a salad in the first place. Anything that isn't fried, filled with meat, or bursting with sugar is not fit to be eaten.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Serves you right for eating a salad in the first place. Anything that isn't fried, filled with meat, or bursting with sugar is not fit to be eaten.

Meat? Eew. I assign meat to Mordor. Ha. Take that, le fantom.

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by Fea

Meat? Eew. I assign meat to Mordor. Ha. Take that, le fantom.

In which case I shall assign hypocrisy.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by ye short one

In which case I shall assign hypocrisy.

While I certainly agree that hypocrisy belongs in Mordor, I'm not certain how my assignation of meat pertains. Do tell, ol' boy.

[Lathriel]

Its about time that I send something to Mordor because it has bee irking me for quite some time now.
MY FRENCH TEXBOOK!!!!!!!!!
There are lots of shiny pictures and "cultural explanations" but where are the verbs? Where is the grammar? It is pushed somewhere in the back of the book and just to make it worse it is unclear what they mean!!!!

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by Spirit of Fire

While I certainly agree that hypocrisy belongs in Mordor, I'm not certain how my assignation of meat pertains. Do tell, ol' boy.

Why, what are you made of, silly?

I'll assign getting muddled up too, for good measure.

[Encaitare]

I assign my biased AP American Government textbook. It tells us foolish things such as that the causes of the American Revolution were entirely idealogical and not economic. Yeah. Because the Founding Fathers and Patriots woke up one day and said,

American 1: "Gosh, we're so rich and peachy keen and life is pretty good, but we're just a bunch of colonies, which bites."
American 2: "Now I feel a pout coming on. Hey, let's annoy the heck out of the most powerful nation in the world."
American 3: "But how are we going to do that?"
American 2: "Well, we could not buy stuff."
American 1: "And chuck a load of tea in the harbor."
American 3: "Can I wear this Indian costume I bought for last Halloween?"
Americans 1 & 2: "Sure!"
American 3: "Sa-weet!"



Additionally, it contains the following sentence: "Political candidacies, like people, are not the products of a virgin birth." What. The. Fork. Perhaps I should write an irate letter demanding that in the next edition they include a footnote that says, "except for Jesus".

Thirdly, they made a special "Post 9/11 Edition" which some people in my class have. It declares itself to be this edition right on the cover with a cloudburst or star or something, which I think is pretty tasteless.

Meet my friend Nicole, who clearly doesn't like the textbook either.

So off to Mordor with you, textbook -- nay, straight into Mount Doom to BURN.

[Roa_Aoife]

Meat? Eew. I assign meat to Mordor. Ha. Take that, le fantom.

I assign vegitarians to Mordor. Silly herbivores, carnivores rule!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Hm... if we're assigning what people eat, may I assign anybody in the world that actually thinks pickled cow tongue sounds appealing?

Dave Barry once described it as something someone would nail to a door to ward off demons. I can't say I disagree.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

Biting into a soft tomato. You can't get the taste out of your mouth, you can't get the feeling out of that dull squish and it ruins the entire rest of the salad for you.

Eyuw! I assign to Mordor any food related disappointment. I cooked some lovely haddock fillets last night and for some reason they smelled of ammonia so they had to be chucked away.

But while we're on the subject of meat and carnivores, I assign to Mordor something very peculiar, animal instinct. My cats sat in the kitchen for the whole day today and this evening I heard a noise and went in there to find they'd killed a little mouse. Obviously I don't want mice in my house and my cats were pleased with having made their first kill, but the poor little thing still had its eyes open and looked untouched.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign professors that give you bad grades for inexplicable reasons.

[Kath]

I assign friends who seem to be deliberately messing things up. Who have known for weeks that an interview will fall on the same day as my birthday and so will be unable to come to the celebrations, but didn't bother telling me until 2 days ago, leading to more complications than I can count.

*sigh* And it's supposed to be such a happy day