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11-04-2005, 09:55 PM | #8201 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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The three cruel "high-society-types" make cruel fun of the bones-of-the-earth Sam.
Or... Sam: Hyup, got mah garden mulched, but tha pony must've been sick or somethin' cuz WHOOOEEEEE! Or... Pippin: Hey, I think he's turning into a Werewolf... Or... Pippin: Hey, wait a minute...didn't you have a mole on your nose? Or... Pippin: Hey, it's not polite to hold a conversation with your hands in your pockets!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
11-05-2005, 08:57 AM | #8202 | ||
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Quote:
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilps, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
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11-05-2005, 09:30 AM | #8203 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Sam: "Remember that time when Frodo went dancing & forgot his belt!? That was hilarious!"
Frodo: "Uh, no. Let's not talk about that." |
11-05-2005, 09:31 AM | #8204 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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The Hobbits do their best "Simplicity Sewing Patterns # 134 - Waistcoats and Pants Set" poses.
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Gordon's alive!
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11-05-2005, 09:44 AM | #8205 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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The Hobbits discuss how to best frighten their new governess.
Sam: "I think we should put a frog in her pocket."
All: "Yeah!" Pippin: "You know, for once you had a brilliant idea, Sam!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
11-05-2005, 10:29 AM | #8206 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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ever had this happen to you?
Here we witness the monthly meeting of the Dieting Support Group Club:
Frodo: "Well, lets compare our results, shall we? After two months of strict dieting I lost five pounds." (*insert polite clapping) Merry: "I lost six (*insert slightly louder polite clapping). How many did you lose, Pip?" Pippin: "Four." (*insert subdued polite clapping) Frodo: "Well, Sam? You look rather pleased with yourself. How many did you lose?" Sam: "I ate bacon, sausages, steaks, & whatever else I wanted to for two months and lost ten! Guess you guys lost out..." (*insert a smug face from Sam & threatening faces from the others) |
11-05-2005, 01:38 PM | #8207 |
Laconic Loreman
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Frodo: Hey look, a new pic....
Gollum: Why shouldn't we eatsss you precious, eh? You're good sourcesss of protien. Frodo: I think I'm going to be sick.
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Fenris Penguin
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11-05-2005, 01:42 PM | #8208 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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city creature
Gollum: "Cow pies? What's cow pies, precious, eh, what's cow pies?"
Frodo: "Dude, put it down, you're making me sick." |
11-05-2005, 01:51 PM | #8209 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum: My precious? No, its not the same.
OR Frodo: its almost as bad as watching Gandalf eating. And he does it uncloaked!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-05-2005, 01:53 PM | #8210 |
Odinic Wanderer
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There were never any doubt of the outcome of the wrestling mach between Gollum and the worm; This was clearly displayed in the attendance number.
Last edited by Rune Son of Bjarne; 11-05-2005 at 02:17 PM. |
11-05-2005, 01:59 PM | #8211 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Gollum: "Hello...has Fat Hobbit lost his dentures again?"
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11-05-2005, 02:01 PM | #8212 |
Energetic Essence
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Gollum and the worm got into a "heated" disscussion.
or Gollum and the worm were having an intense staring competition. or Gollum: HA!! That supid Baginsss played a trick on us by asking us what it gots in its poketss. But not this time preciousss. This time it's our turn.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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11-05-2005, 02:37 PM | #8213 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Gollum: I wonder if I could snort this up my nose and then make it come out my mouth? Or maybe my ear?
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If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. |
11-05-2005, 02:38 PM | #8214 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum broke his monocle.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-05-2005, 02:42 PM | #8215 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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After his role int he WW examination Gollum wonders if he found micro elf DNA.
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I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. |
11-05-2005, 03:13 PM | #8216 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum is worried about the latest pandemic: Worm flue. *groan*
OR This is all Gollum had left after his game of poker with Sam. Frodo: I did warn you.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-05-2005, 03:25 PM | #8217 |
Laconic Loreman
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Gollum: A balrog doesn't have wings sillies
or... Tribute to Gurthang Frodo: We're lost again. Gollum: Go East you say?...Yes, wormses, it'ss stupid mapquest!
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Fenris Penguin
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11-05-2005, 05:02 PM | #8218 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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While taking a break for lunch at the Dead Marshes branch of Greggs, Gollum is puzzled to find a strand of real meat in his steak pasty. Frodo only has gravy in his and feels jealous.
OR Gollum: "Massster! Dirty Wraiths! The fell beast pooped and the wraith did not scoop!"
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Gordon's alive!
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11-05-2005, 05:19 PM | #8219 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg
Posts: 378
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Gollum: I hold in my hand the key to our victory against Sauron. Will you aid us or thwart us? Choose swiftly!
Frodo: Groan...
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-- Well, I'm back. |
11-05-2005, 05:26 PM | #8220 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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Frodo sees what fate awaits him and still is tempted by the Ring.
OR: Frodo: "Don't you want fries with that, Gollem?" OR: Gollem: "Alas, poor Deagol, I knew him well."
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Ill sing his roots off. Ill sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
11-05-2005, 07:32 PM | #8221 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Gollum... the Archealogist.
OR Frodo watched as Gollum not only tamed the no-doubt vicious worm, but taught it to balance upright atop of his very nose!
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-05-2005, 09:24 PM | #8222 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Gollum: "This is an earthworm of Mordor!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
11-05-2005, 10:21 PM | #8223 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Can't blame Gollum for being mad this time...
Frodo smelled a fight brewing when Gollum found his platinum limited edition Keira Knightly action figure...burnt to a crisp, courtesy of a vengeful Master Samwise.
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11-05-2005, 10:26 PM | #8224 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
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Frodo: Gollum, there's some lovely filth down here!
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11-05-2005, 11:40 PM | #8225 |
Shadow of the Past
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minas Mor-go
Posts: 1,007
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Frodo: Augh! It's Grima's tongue!
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11-06-2005, 03:13 AM | #8226 |
Deadnight Chanter
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Gollum: Good, good, this hook here, that bone there... where did that oliphaunt tusk go... m-mm... good, good...
Frodo: What are you doing, Smeagol? Gollum: We are arranging archeological evidence, my precious, ain't we? Frodo: What? Gollum: Yes, yes my precious, they'll dig it up after many many years and they'll say, Homo Gollumus lived here, yes. Frodo: Ah, I see. But they'll call it Homo Floresiensis. Gollum: Why? Frodo: Because you've arranged these bones in the form of a sunflower. Gollum: What, did we? Ah, good, good, that is even better, we likes it. Good, this worm to the left, that bone there...
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Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time! |
11-06-2005, 05:12 AM | #8227 |
Mischievous Candle
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The talk about bad school lunches wasn't groundless after all...
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11-06-2005, 06:28 AM | #8228 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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(An idea from SamwiseGamgee's caption.)
Gollum: I found it! The One Ring-worm to Rule Them All!
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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11-06-2005, 06:29 AM | #8229 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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A rehabilitated Gollum goes fishing...
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11-06-2005, 08:01 AM | #8230 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn?
Posts: 1,031
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A disgusted Frodo watches as Gollum, dedicated epidemiologist-to-be, takes time during his travels to study various parasitic specimens of interest and enlightenment. I mean, really, how often can would one be able to find such a rich supply of orc droppings to examine?!
(sorry, I work in a medical lab! )
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York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best! |
11-06-2005, 08:02 AM | #8231 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum: So you infected my computer!
Frodo: No, a worm virus! Not a worm! OR Gollum was sure that if he kissed the worm it would turn into a princess and give him lots of gold. Frodo waits to tell him that it only works with frogs and toads.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-06-2005, 09:06 AM | #8232 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg
Posts: 378
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Gollum: I'm going to have to push you for an answer. Did you or did you not see a Ringwraith pass this way?
*Silence* Gollum: It's a yes or no answer. Come on. Frodo: You're not Paxman, Gollum.
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-- Well, I'm back. |
11-06-2005, 11:03 AM | #8233 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Gollum is about to eat a jelly worm he has found on the floor.
Frodo: "Don't eat that! You don't know where it's been!" Gollum: "sssss, I'll eat what I like, you're not my mother." OR Gollum is horrified to find a particularly thick Hobbit hair in his pizza.
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Gordon's alive!
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11-06-2005, 11:16 AM | #8234 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Smeagol and Gollum play a little "Good cop/ Bad cop" with an offending worm.
OR Gollum: Whatss that Lasssssie? Fat hobbitsie is going to turn on us! Well no if we turn on fat hobbit first... Yessss... Fordo: Um... I'll just pretend like I didn't hear that. OR Frodo: Smeagol is a parsel mouth!
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-06-2005, 04:21 PM | #8235 |
Illustrious Ulair
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties
Posts: 4,240
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PJ decides Tolkien's text needs updating for a contemporary audience. 'The cold hard lands, they bites our hands' is out in favour of a more catchy lyric:
Gollum (sings): "Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, Guess I'll go eat worms, Long, thin, slimy ones, Short, fat, juicy ones, Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms. Down goes the first one, Down goes the second one, Oh how they wiggle and squirm. Up comes the first one, Up comes the second one, Oh how they wiggle and squirm." |
11-06-2005, 06:07 PM | #8236 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Gollum thought that the worm was dead. That was until it suddenly lunged for his eye!
OR Frodo: "I can't believe that was in his ear!" OR Frodo can hardly hold his laughter as Gollum searches for the Nutritional Facts on this worm. OR Sam has been turned into a worm. Gollum: "So, what does we think of Stinker now, Fat Hobbit."
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
11-06-2005, 07:48 PM | #8237 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Gollum explains his religious beliefs to Frodo during a break in their journey to the Black Gate... through Aquabat lyrics!
-Where does dirt come from? -Dirt comes from: The Worms. -Wow! Awesome! There is a chipmunk At the center of the earth And in his big oven He bakes his own desserts He warms the ocean And from that, life springs forth Little organisms building trash around the clock Compost heaps Or melting pots For Farmer John's Smoked Sausage stocks Worms make the dirt And the dirt makes the earth And all of the roots have a place to sleep now All the chanuks have squash to eat now Worms make the dirt And the dirt makes the earth And people hold hands and feel terrific Food comes from dirt It's scientific Yeah! Wow! There's so much to learn! The Sun came from a cave And it made the clouds go by (Hi!) The clouds had a conference And rain fell from the sky (Wow!) Worms got thirsty From eating too much dirt (Yeah!) They came up through the ground And got eaten by the birds (Huh?) Some worms escaped With their lives (Oh boy!) They excreted soil Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Worms make the dirt And the dirt makes the earth And all of the roots have a place to sleep now All the chanuks have squash to eat now Worms make the dirt And the dirt makes the earth And people hold hands and feel terrific Food comes from dirt It's scientific THE MIRACLE OF LIFE IS AWESOME! AWESOME!
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-06-2005, 09:30 PM | #8238 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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There has been a murder in the village, but what kind of creature has done it? It could've been a viscous oversized mutt for all the villagers know, so what do they do? They turn to villager Gollum, of course, who's occupation just happens to be Suspicious Feces Examiner...
Gollum: "Sniff, sniff. Yeerrkk, bleck. Definitly a werewolf; probably three of them. We'd better get busy..." |
11-07-2005, 12:46 AM | #8239 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum: Forth, wormorlingas!
Frodo: *Groan* OR Gollum: Is this a worm I see before me? Frodo: He's doing Shakespeare again. Sam: What is it this time? Frodo: Mac Beth. Sam: OH! Get him to do Richard III! I love that one!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-07-2005, 11:39 AM | #8240 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Gollum the Health & Safety Officer calls a sudden halt to any more questing.
"All Hobbitses must go home to Hobbiton and get some sturdy bootses on. Gollum has found nassty rusty nailses so he has. Masster cannot go any further. I will not allow it."
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Gordon's alive!
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