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10-27-2005, 04:45 AM | #8041 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Educational...
*Look at Sam* this is a Hobbit.
*Look at Gorbag* this is a Hobbit on drugs! OR Gollum's new make over wasn't very effective.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-27-2005, 05:41 AM | #8042 |
Energetic Essence
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Gorbag couldn't believe it. His dentist was also the Mouth of Sauron's Dentist!!!
or And this children, is what happens when you do drugs...
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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10-27-2005, 05:55 AM | #8043 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gorbag is thrown out of the Break dancing Orcs group!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-27-2005, 06:16 AM | #8044 |
Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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Orc after cosmetic surgery: "Sure, the nose looks good now, but what did you do with the rest of my face??"
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
10-27-2005, 06:24 AM | #8045 | |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Sorry Estelyn, half this is your joke! And to you Hookbill!
Or the once so beautiful elf after cosmetic surgery: "Sure, the nose looks good now, but what did you do with the rest of my face??"
OR Hookbill: Quote:
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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10-27-2005, 06:46 AM | #8046 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Gorbag singing "See the pretty girl in that mirror there."
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10-27-2005, 07:01 AM | #8047 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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In Legolas' attic ...
Samwise: I'm sorry, Mr Legolas sir. I didn't mean to rip your portrait ...
Legolas: Aaaaaaiiiiiiiii!!!
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
10-27-2005, 07:20 AM | #8048 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Hobbit toruture techniques
Hobbits could be very cruel to their captives--this particular approach was to make your captive stare at Gandalf the Grey uncloacked.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
10-27-2005, 07:32 AM | #8049 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-27-2005, 08:06 AM | #8050 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Samwise just gave Gorbag the greatest wedgie of his life!
Sam: This one is for my Gaffer. Gorbag: Aiiii the pain and horror!
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
10-27-2005, 01:58 PM | #8051 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Try Cirroth Ungol's new... Loop the Loop! Guaranteed to chill and thrill!
OR Samwise Gamgee was insulted past his reasoning when Gorbag exclaimed "I can't believe it's not butter!" OR Few knew that what actually did in Gorbag was Sam forcing him to bob for apples against his will. Alas that his last meal was not of manflesh, but of a perticularly large Granny Smith. OR Sam and Gorbag find the Barrowdowns chatrooms. Gorbag: "Ahhh! 1337 internet speech!"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
Last edited by Valesse; 10-28-2005 at 11:59 AM. |
10-27-2005, 02:01 PM | #8052 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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There is a rat in Gorbag's pipe.
... ... Sam put it there. OR Gorbag wonders what you do when you find 10,000 Legolas fangirls on the doorstep.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-27-2005, 04:39 PM | #8053 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,996
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Sam gets a close look at British teeth in the good old days before National Health Service.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. Last edited by Bêthberry; 10-27-2005 at 04:44 PM. |
10-27-2005, 04:57 PM | #8054 |
Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 78
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Newsflash: Gangs of vicious, bloodthirsty Hobbits are attacking defenceless, fit, young Orcs!
Or Sam: Hello there, you sexy devil! What's a pretty Orc like you doing here all by himself? Gorbag: *Oh my God, did he just pinch me in the butt?!*
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'I am the Elder king: Melkor, first and mightiest of all the Valar, who was before the world, and made it. The shadow of my purpose lies upon Arda, and all that is in it bends slowly and surely to my will.' |
10-27-2005, 05:02 PM | #8055 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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The previous pic...
This is a wonderful artist's rendition of Earnur Etceteron!
Current pic... Sam drops an ice cube down Gorbag's shirt. Or... Sam just couldn't take any more...he couldn't stand to let Gorbag finish his aria!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
10-27-2005, 07:26 PM | #8056 |
Laconic Loreman
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Gorbag, knowing he was defeated, resorts to a last ditch effort by releasing viral orc breath of death making Sam quite nauseated.
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Fenris Penguin
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10-27-2005, 07:35 PM | #8057 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In a world grown ever smaller.
Posts: 678
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Quote:
Gorbad: Oh-ho! Really! It sounds funny if you hear it in the voice i assinged to gorbad.
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I've got bridge club on Wednesday,
Archery on Thursday, Dancing on a Friday night! |
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10-27-2005, 08:21 PM | #8058 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Gorbag: "Et tu, Frodo! Then fall Gorbag!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
10-28-2005, 12:57 AM | #8059 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Sam tries frantically to push the statue over the edge, but it's too heavy for him.
OR Sam finds out that Gorbag created MapQuest. OR Sam didn't really believe that someone could have one hundred earrings in at once. He moves in to count them. OR Sam has had it with Gorbag's singing.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
10-28-2005, 02:18 AM | #8060 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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In Doctor Gamgee's surgery: "I did warn you to cough, sir."
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Gordon's alive!
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10-28-2005, 02:40 AM | #8061 |
The Perilous Poet
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Heart of the matter
Posts: 1,062
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British and American versions!
The Argos in Croydon seemed even grimmer than normal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ The Walmart in Trenton seemed even grimmer than normal.
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And all the rest is literature |
10-28-2005, 07:03 AM | #8062 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sam tries to sabotage the likely winner of the annual fly catching contest.
OR Gorbag learns the Orc facts of life.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-28-2005, 09:01 AM | #8063 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Gorbag & Sam were surprised when, instead of their pizza delivery man standing on their apartment doorstep, they found their ex-girlfriends...with weapons hand!
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10-28-2005, 09:08 AM | #8064 |
The Perilous Poet
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Heart of the matter
Posts: 1,062
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The first night with Rosie though, was not at all what he had expected.
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And all the rest is literature |
10-28-2005, 09:23 AM | #8065 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Inevitably, the fateful day eventually came when Sam finally lost his patience with his mother-in-law, Dot.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
10-28-2005, 09:33 AM | #8066 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gorbag stumbles upon Shelob's favourite toilet area.
OR Sam: Give me back Mr. Frodo's birthday cake! Gorbag: I ate it! Sam: Then I'll have to get it myself! Gorbag:
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-28-2005, 12:20 PM | #8067 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Gorbag was agog to discover the only winning lottery ticket for the month of Thrimidge on the ground, but found that it was equally as shocking (if not just a bit more painful) when he Samwise revealed that he had put it there as bait.
OR (Sorry, this is more of an American joke) Bob Barker: "Gorbag! Come on down and play...The Priiiiice is Right!"
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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10-28-2005, 12:36 PM | #8068 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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While Sam has the courage Gorbag just cannot bring himself to look down and see what he just stepped in.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
10-28-2005, 04:53 PM | #8069 |
Laconic Loreman
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Gorbag: Ahh, a New picture! I can't believe my virgin eyes. Don't look sonny, you're too young for this.
Saruman: I suggest you all leave now before I taunt you a second time! Sons of a silly person!
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Fenris Penguin
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10-28-2005, 04:55 PM | #8070 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Saruman: TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Last edited by mormegil; 10-28-2005 at 05:25 PM. |
10-28-2005, 05:00 PM | #8071 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 413
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Christopher Lee is attempting to portray what Moses would have done, had he been a weird old man, with creepy eyebrows.
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10-28-2005, 05:25 PM | #8072 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Saruman: The Ents are coming to get me?! Oh dear. Take Grima! He is the one who wronged you!
Grima:What...?
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
10-28-2005, 06:06 PM | #8073 |
Laconic Loreman
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Saruman: (screaming below) Listen Samwise Gamgee. I swear, I did not ruin your garden. I saw a giant he-rat about *yay big* and it made a cacaw sound and was eating your vegetables.
Grima: Even I could have come up with a lie than that.
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Fenris Penguin
Last edited by Boromir88; 10-28-2005 at 06:14 PM. |
10-28-2005, 06:09 PM | #8074 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Gorbag/Sam pic
Gorbag the Seer's midnight dream is successful, but he's about to fall victim to typical Seer luck.
Gorbag: "OMG!! Sam is a werewolf!!?? I can't wait to tell the other villagers about this!!" |
10-28-2005, 06:57 PM | #8076 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Christopher Lee's massive belch at Orthanc "dwarfed" (no pun intended...well, maybe ) John Rhys-Davies feeble attempt at Edoras.
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10-28-2005, 07:57 PM | #8077 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Grima still doesn't know why Saruman decided to use his eye for the end of his staff.
OR Saruman does his best mime immitation. OR Saruman made Willy Wonka mad, so now he's starting to inflate. OR Saruman gasps when his 10,000 orcs suddenly start to breakdance.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
10-28-2005, 10:20 PM | #8078 |
Energetic Essence
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This is what Saruman would do if he found 200, 000 orcs on his doorstep.
or Saruman just proclaimed that he was a Sherriff. Little did he know that Grima was a Wolf.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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10-29-2005, 12:46 AM | #8079 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Deja vu is correct!
Saruman: AAAAGH! Orcs! Who put them there?
Grima: You did. OR When the Ents fill Isenguard with water, Saruman's plan 'F' was to suck up all the water.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
10-29-2005, 07:07 AM | #8080 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,648
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Saruman the Presidential Candidate
Saruman: If I am elected to be President I promise to never uncloak myself and make it illegal for Gandalf to do likewise.
__________________
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
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