Better cast/Disaster cast - Page 2 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

***Mister Underhill*** · 02-20-2001, 06:46 PM

Re: Re:better/disater cast Klaus. Good call. Also, I think someone mentioned him in another thread, but the name bears repeating -- how did Max Von Sydow not end up in this film?! John Malkovich as Wormtongue and Christopher Walken as the Mouth. Sam Elliott as Halbarad.

The X Phial · 03-17-2001, 04:39 PM

worst cast Well, after some long thinking I came up with my worst list: Frodo: That guy who plays mini-me Sam: Jonathan Lipniki (kid from Jerry McGuire) Merry and Pippen: Mary Kate and Ashley (shudder) Bilbo: Gary Coleman (whatchoo talkin' bout Frodo?) Aragorn: The Rock Gandalf: William Shatner (you must....destroy..the ring) Legolas: Leonardo DiCapprio Boromir: Lucy Lawless Gimli: all I can say is, Disney dwarf "Grumpy" Arwen: Joan Jet (or Sandra Bullock) Galadriel: Kathie Lee Gifford Elrond: Regis Philbin (in keeping with the theme) Other Hobbits: cast of Rugrats Saruman: a member of ZZ top

***Gilthalion*** · 03-17-2001, 04:58 PM

Best Cast Aragorn = Bob Hope Galadriel = Phyllis Diller Gandalf = Tiny Tim Gimli = Andre the Giant Legolas = Orson Welles Boromir = Mickey Rooney Faramir = Mickey Rooney Frodo = Arnold Scwarzenegger Sam = Moe Howard Merry = Larry Fine Pippin = Joe Howard Gollum = Shemp Howard Arwen = Rosanne Barr Éomer = Brad Pitt Éowynn = Brad Pitt Elrond = Mr. Bean The Gaffer = Harpo Marx I'll try to come up with a Worst Cast later... <center> <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">Barrow-Downs</a>~<a href="http://www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000">Bare Bones</a>~<a href="http://www.robertwgardner2000/gilthalion.html">Grand Adventures</a>~<a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/fanfichobbits.asp">The Hobbits</a>~<a href="http://www.tolkientrail.com">Tolkien Trail</a> </center>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000006>Gilthali on</A> at: 3/17/01 5:59:02 pm

The X Phial · 03-17-2001, 05:36 PM

Re: worst cast oops, I forgot: Eomer- Jim Carey Orcs- Sigfried and Roy, the actors who play The Lone Gunmen, and the Borg Faramir- Keanu Reeves That's it for now... -*-The X Phial-*- You must believe in free will, you have no choice. Isaac Singer

KayQy · 03-18-2001, 02:21 PM

Resistance is futile! Borg orcs! I love it! They would have to totally change the plot, though, so 7 of 9 or 1 could seduce someone. Gil: Just out of curiosity, in what sense is that a Best Cast?

***Gilthalion*** · 03-18-2001, 02:28 PM

Depends on what you're in the mood for! <center> <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">Barrow-Downs</a>~<a href="http://www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000">Bare Bones</a>~<a href="http://www.robertwgardner2000/gilthalion.html">Grand Adventures</a>~<a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/fanfichobbits.asp">The Hobbits</a>~<a href="http://www.tolkientrail.com">Tolkien Trail</a> </center>

Orald · 03-18-2001, 06:02 PM

A comedy. Of the Space Balls sort. Or maybe Monty Python:Quest for the Holy Grail. The latter suits LotR better since it isn't futuristic but in the past. Thus even as Eru spoke to us shall beauty not before conceived be brought into Eä, and evil be good to have been.

The X Phial · 03-27-2001, 10:15 PM

I guess we've exhausted this thread...oh well, it was fun while it lasted. -*-The X Phial-*- You must believe in free will, you have no choice. Isaac Singer

***Mister Underhill*** · 03-29-2001, 01:21 PM

Who says it's spent? Gilbert Gottfried as Gollum! How about an all Latino cast? Bilbo -- Cheech Marin Frodo -- Oscar De La Hoya Sam -- Ruben Blades Merry -- Enrique Iglesias Pippin -- Lou Diamond Phillips Gandalf -- Wolfman Jack Aragorn -- Antonio Banderas (Jimmy Smits?) Legolas -- Andy Garcia Gimli -- Paul Rodriguez Denethor -- Edward James Olmos Theoden -- Tito Puente Boromir -- Benicio Del Toro Faramir -- Ricky Martin Wormtongue -- Miguel Ferrer Arwen -- Jennifer Lopez Saruman -- Anthony Quinn Gollum -- John Leguizamo Galadriel -- Salma Hayek

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-15-2001, 12:45 PM

Re: Resistance is futile! If LotR had been made as a 60's all-star adventure movie: Bilbo -- Sir Alec Guinness Frodo -- Peter O'Toole Sam -- Gene Hackman Merry -- Michael Caine Pippin -- Donald Sutherland Gandalf -- Sir John Gielgud Aragorn -- Clint Eastwood (or you could go William Holden) Legolas -- Robert Redford Gimli -- Telly Savalas (or George Kennedy) Denethor -- Yul Brynner Theoden -- Carroll O'Connor Boromir -- Charles Bronson Faramir -- Steve McQueen Wormtongue -- Robert Vaughn (or Dennis Hopper) Arwen -- Raquel Welch Saruman -- Henry Fonda Gollum -- Don Rickles Galadriel -- Jane Fonda Éomer -- James Coburn Orcs -- Eli Wallach, Ben Johnson, Bruce Dern, Strother Martin Heh. This one probably means nothing to most Down-ers, but I think it's good!

Zoe · 06-15-2001, 07:47 PM

When you said Michael Caine as Merry, I thought of Michael Caine in Educating Rita... Merry the drunk who needs a haircut! (suppresses a laugh) I hope I'm not mixing up my actors and making a fool of myself... "This sig is proudly quote-free." -Me. (Also known as eoz, and now has a non-Tolkien forum, called <a href="http://pub57.ezboard.com/beverythingelse45161">everything else</a>.)

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-16-2001, 09:31 AM

lol. No, he's the same actor, but I was thinking of the late 60's/early 70's era Caine, a leaner, meaner customer. See Zulu, The Ipcress File, or The Man Who Would Be King (one of my all-time favorites!). But the hair is right, isn't it? Didn't that ent-draught grow a nice big bushy coiffure, too?

Zoe · 06-16-2001, 08:43 PM

But not one that 80s, I hope. "This sig is proudly quote-free." -Me. (Also known as eoz, and now has a non-Tolkien forum, called <a href="http://pub57.ezboard.com/beverythingelse45161">everything else</a>.)

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-18-2001, 11:10 AM

The 80's -- the decade of Big Hair! What better decade to draw tonsorial inspiration from? Besides, it's not that bad. I mean it ain't Jon Bon Jovi. Imagine Merry with this hairdo:

Zoe · 06-19-2001, 12:13 AM

Excuse me while I run away in horror... I have to agree there. Compared to Bon Jovi, Michael Caine looks very un-80s. Except for the beard. "This sig is proudly quote-free." -Me. (Also known as eoz, and now has a non-Tolkien forum, called <a href="http://pub57.ezboard.com/beverythingelse45161">everything else</a>.)

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-22-2001, 10:47 PM

I love that picture. Just look at Jon flipping the big thumbs-up. He's just so positive. Letting you know everything's gonna be o-tay. You tell 'em, Jon! Carroll O'Connor RIP. Along with all the other dead guys on my list.

***The Barrow-Wight*** · 06-23-2001, 04:35 AM

Well, after all, he's a cowboy. On a steel horse he rides. He's wanted, Dead or Alive. The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

Maglor68 · 06-25-2001, 05:25 AM

The South Park Cast I tried to get something like this going on another thread, but thought it would work here. Frodo - Stan Sam - Kyle Merry - Cartman Pippin - Kenny Gandalf - Chef Aragorn - Mr. Marsh Boromir - Uncle Jimbo Legolas - Butters Gimli - Tweak Tom Bombadil - Big Gay Al Goldberry - Mrs. Cartman Elrond - Mr. Mackey Galadriel - Principal Victoria Arwen - Mrs. Marsh Faramir - Ned Bilbo - Timmy Gollum - Starvin Marvin (actually suggested by someone else) Saruman - The Mad Scientist Wormtongue - Kevin Lord of the Nazgul - Mr. Garrison Gothmog - Mr. Hat

The X Phial · 06-25-2001, 07:22 PM

That's fabulous, I would see that movie, lol. -*-The X Phial-*- "Yet more fair is the living land of Lorien, and the Lady Galadriel is above all the jewels that lie beneath the earth!"

LionPixie · 06-28-2001, 10:48 AM

Cast Best Saruman: Black Adder Worm Tongue: Pee Wee Herman Frodo: Davy Jones Sam: Micky Dolenz Merry: Mike Nezmeth Pippin: Peter Tork Nine Riders: Eric Idle Terry Jones Graham Chapman Monty Python, et al. (Ni!) Gollum: Robin Williams Faramir: Rob Morrow Galadriel: Madeline Kahn Eowyn: Ellen Degenerous Aragorn: Alec Baldwin Arwen: Janine Turner Legolas: Tuvok Gimli: Neelix Gandalf: John Lithgow Barliman Butterbur: Kramer Theoden: Kelsey Grahmer Eomer: Tom Hanks Shelob: Rosanne Barr Orgs:

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-28-2001, 10:54 AM

Brilliant! Roseanne Barr as Shelob is especially inspired casting. I take it this is the TV sitcom version of LotR, perhaps retitled Four Hobbits, A Wizard, and a Magic Ring, or perhaps Gandalf in Charge.

LionPixie · 06-28-2001, 11:15 AM

Worst Cast Gandalf: Walter Kronkite Eowyn: Sally Solomon or Goldi Hawn Bilbo: Jonothan Winters Boromir: John Wayne Elrond: Ted Koppel Galadriel: Lilly Tomlin Aragorn: Dan Rather Pippin: Pinoccio Frodo: Bobby Sherman Merry:Matthew Broderick Sam: Nathan Lane Saruman: Alec Guiness Wormtongue: Earnest Faramir: Michael Landon Denathor: Charleton Heston Theoden: Carrol O'Connor Mouth of Sauron: Kurt Russell

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-28-2001, 11:23 AM

Hey, you're good at this game! My hat is off to you.

***The Barrow-Wight*** · 06-28-2001, 11:29 AM

The Lord of the Rings Classic Rock n Roll Opera This will be obscure for many people, but some may get a kcik out of it. Frodo - Gene Simmons Samwise - Ace Frehley Merry - Paul Stanley Pippin - Peter Kris Gandalf - Edgar Winter Aragorn - Bruce Springsteen Boromir - Ted Nugent Legolas - Darryl Hall Gimli - John Oats Gollum - George Thoroughgood Sauron - Ric Ocasek Saruman - Ozzy Osbourne Lord of the Nazgûl - Alice Cooper Wormtongue - Bob Dylan Eowyn - Pat Benatar Arwen - Joan Jet Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir - The Blackhearts Faramir - Marc Bolan Treebeard - Robert Plant Ents - ZZ Top Barliman Butterbur - Meatloaf The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-28-2001, 11:53 AM

I love this thread. How about a few additions: Ted Sandyman -- Don Henley Éomer -- Rod Stewart The Gaffer -- Billy Joel Ghân-buri-Ghân -- Leon Russell Faramir's men -- the rest of the Eagles Orcs -- The Ramones

LionPixie · 06-28-2001, 11:59 AM

Roman Polanski, Director Sauron: Hanibal Lechtern (No lines, just sits and thinks of fava beans and chianti) Mouth of Sauron: Bob Newhart (I'm...I'm...mmm I'm, I'm the mouth of Sauron..) Wormtongue: Jason Alexander Orgs: The Dallas Cowboys, et al. Saramon: Mr. Burns (Simpsons) "Interesting.." Celeborn: Stuart French Galadriel: Cher (women characters usually cast like this)

LionPixie · 06-28-2001, 12:03 PM

Singers. Let's make it a musical! Rose Gamgee: Dolly Parton

LionPixie · 06-28-2001, 12:21 PM

Bad casting Hobbit's at Bilbo's going away party: The Proudfeet (err..Proudfoots): George Jefferson Tony Danza Rosie O'Donnell Tooks, Brandybucks, Bolgers Dick Cavitt Tom and Dick Smothers Dan Akroid Gene Wilder Jane Curtin James Garner Bill Murray Gilda Radner Robert Wagner William Shatner Kirk Douglas Tony Curtis Kate Mulgrew Christopher Lloyd Tom Bombadil's Wife: Julie Andrews

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-28-2001, 12:23 PM

I think Shatner would make a fine Old Took.

LionPixie · 06-29-2001, 06:30 AM

Reeeealy bad casting Having too much fun with this: Following are stand-ins and stunt doubles Saraman = Lee Marvin Fatty Bolger = Norm Peterson Tom Bombadil = Fred Astaire Butterbur = Drew Carey Jimmy Stewart = Frodo Isildur = Tyrone Power Alan Alda = Merry Wild Man of the Forest = Tim Allen Arwen = Demi Moore Paths of the Dead, Dead Man = Humphrey Bogart Galadriel - Kathrine Hepburn Legolas = Errol Flynn Bree Tavern = Jamie Farr Denathor = Boris Karloff Celeborn = Marlon Brando Bill the Pony = Dick Van Dyke Faramir = Tom Selek Boromir = Burt Reynolds Theoden = Edward G. Robinson Eowyn = Kes or 7 of 9? Shire Ruffian = Regis Filben Dunadain = Ted Dansen Barrow Wight = The Crock Hunter Sam's wife Rose: Betty White Gandalf's Horse = Ceasar Romero Treebeard = Herman Munster Aragorn = Sylvester Stalone Gollum = Dana Carvey Gandalf = Charleton Heston

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-29-2001, 06:42 AM

I like the way you think. This is casting outside the box! Who would have ever thought of the 6'4" Jimmy Stewart to play a Hobbit?! <Jimmy Stewart voice> "Wha-wha-what's that you say? To Mordor?! I'm not going to Mordor!".... "Merry Christmas Lothlorien! Merry Christmas, Rivendell! Merry Christmas you old Bag End!" The Crock Hunter as the Barrow-wight! "Crikey! This Hobbit's a beauty! Look at the distinctive fur on his feet. Whoa! You're cranky, aren't ya? You're okay!" Jamie Farr as Nob, that's a fit, but Edward G. Robinson is truly unique casting. "I'm not coming back from this ride alive, see?" You've outdone yourself.

LionPixie · 06-29-2001, 07:27 AM

And now, our feature presentation A Ron Howard Production Starring: Martin Short, Michael J. Fox, Pauli Shore, Dana Carey and Leonardo DiCaprio featuring... Patrick Swayze as Glorfindel John Travolta as Legolas Chevy Chase as Boromir Rodney Dangerfield as Butterbur Margot Kidder as Arwen Steve Martin as Elrond Carol Burnet as Eowyn Brad Pitt as Eomer Denver Pyle as Gandalf (Duke's of Hazard Uncle Jesse) Meryle Streep as Galadriel Jim Carey as the Mouth of Sauron (Big mouth)

***Mister Underhill*** · 06-29-2001, 07:54 AM

Rodney Dangerfield is wasted as Butterbur -- he should be playing Gandalf! He always comes on strong at the end of his movies; I can hear his line-reading of "I too am steward. Did you not know?" like he was standing right in front of me.

LionPixie · 06-29-2001, 10:58 AM

Better Butterbur = Tim Conway or Lou Costello Goldilocks = Sally Struthers Gloin = Ed Asner Goldberry = Courtney Love Rohirim = Roddy McDowell Ted Sandyman = Harvey Korman Lurtz = Capt. Binghamton Galadriel = Oprah Aragorn = Arnold Schwartzenegger Eowyn = Loretta Switt (aka Major Margaret Hullahan) she'll beat the &* out of 'em

LionPixie · 06-29-2001, 11:43 AM

worse.... Bilbo = Mickey Rooney Gandalf = Carl Malden Aragorn = Clint Eastwood "Make my day" or Robert Mitchum Faramir = Richard Chamberlain or Tom Sellek Eomer = Richard Dreyfuss or Robert Redford Legolas = Dr. Niles Crane Frodo = Dudley Moore Tom Bombadil = Ray Ramano Pippin = Steve Irkle "Did I do thaaaat?"

Evenspire · 06-30-2001, 10:06 AM

Characters And what of Bill Ferny. Don Rickles?

Evenspire · 07-03-2001, 06:45 AM

Casting Nazgul: Columbo, Inspector Cluseau, Maxwell Smart

Maglor68 · 07-05-2001, 08:40 AM

Eowyn I think we all need to thank Eowyn for starting this thread! - Maglor

***Mister Underhill*** · 07-06-2001, 09:31 AM

Here’s another obscure one, but I was wondering what LotR would be like if it was made as a mob movie… Bilbo --&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Robert De Niro (Paul Vitti in Analyze This) Frodo – Al Pacino (Michael Corleone) Sam – Joe Pesci (Tommy DeVito in Goodfellas) Merry -- Tony Sirico (Paulie on The Sopranos) Pippin -- Michael Imperioli (Christopher on The Sopranos) Gollum – John Cazale (Fredo) Gandalf –- Marlon Brando (Don Corleone – “Frodo, what have I ever done to you that you treat me with such disrespect?”) Aragorn – James Gandalfini (Tony Soprano) Legolas – Robert Duvall (Tom Hagen) Gimli – Lenny Montana (Luca Brasi) Denethor – Paul Sorvino (Paulie Cicero in Goodfellas) Theoden – Dominic Chianese (Uncle Junior) Boromir – James Caan ( Sonny Corleone) Faramir – Ray Liotta (Henry Hill in Goodfellas) Wormtongue – Joe Pantoliano (Ralphie on The Sopranos) Arwen – Simonetta Stefanelli (Apollonia Corleone) Saruman – Al Lettieri (Sollozo) Galadriel – Lorraine Bracco (Tony’s shrink) Fatty Bolger - Richard Castellano (Clemenza – “Leave the sword. Take the lembas.”) The Gaffer – Abe Vigoda (Sal Tessio) Orcs – Take your pick!

Evenspire · 07-15-2001, 11:18 AM

Cast Bombadil: Red Skelton Frodo: Judy Garland or Mark Hammel Gaffer: Walter Brennon Sam: Martin Cheech Merry: Martin Short Eomer: Steve McQueen or Brad Pitt or Don Johnson Pippin: Pee Wee Herman Gandalf: John Houston (did voice in the cartoon movie) Boromir: Mr. T. Aragorn: Clint Eastwood (Do you feel lucky?) Saruman:John Housman (Gandalf, here is a dime..) Butterbur: Danny Devito Faramir: McGuiver or David Hasselhoff, Mandy Patemkin Treebeard: Arnold Schwartzenegger Bill Ferny: Don Adams Gollum: Don Knotts

02-20-2001, 06:46 PM	#41
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR> Re: Re:better/disater cast</b><br><br> Klaus. Good call. Also, I think someone mentioned him in another thread, but the name bears repeating -- how did Max Von Sydow not end up in this film?! <br> <br> John Malkovich as Wormtongue and Christopher Walken as the Mouth. Sam Elliott as Halbarad. <p></p>

03-17-2001, 04:39 PM	#42
The X Phial Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Out there with the truth. Come find me. Posts: 317	<BR> worst cast</b><br><br> Well, after some long thinking I came up with my worst list:<br> <br> Frodo: That guy who plays mini-me<br> Sam: Jonathan Lipniki (kid from Jerry McGuire)<br> Merry and Pippen: Mary Kate and Ashley (shudder)<br> Bilbo: Gary Coleman (whatchoo talkin' bout Frodo?)<br> Aragorn: The Rock<br> Gandalf: William Shatner (you must....destroy..the ring)<br> Legolas: Leonardo DiCapprio<br> Boromir: Lucy Lawless<br> Gimli: all I can say is, Disney dwarf "Grumpy"<br> Arwen: Joan Jet (or Sandra Bullock)<br> Galadriel: Kathie Lee Gifford<br> Elrond: Regis Philbin (in keeping with the theme)<br> Other Hobbits: cast of Rugrats<br> Saruman: a member of ZZ top <p></p> __________________ But then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.

03-17-2001, 04:58 PM	#43
*Gilthalion* Hobbitus Emeritus Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: South Farthing Posts: 635	<BR> Best Cast</b><br><br> Aragorn = Bob Hope<br> Galadriel = Phyllis Diller<br> Gandalf = Tiny Tim<br> Gimli = Andre the Giant<br> Legolas = Orson Welles<br> Boromir = Mickey Rooney<br> Faramir = Mickey Rooney<br> Frodo = Arnold Scwarzenegger<br> Sam = Moe Howard<br> Merry = Larry Fine<br> Pippin = Joe Howard<br> Gollum = Shemp Howard<br> Arwen = Rosanne Barr<br> Éomer = Brad Pitt<br> Éowynn = Brad Pitt<br> Elrond = Mr. Bean<br> The Gaffer = Harpo Marx<br> <br> <br> I'll try to come up with a Worst Cast later...<br> <p><center> <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">Barrow-Downs</a>~<a href="http://www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000">Bare Bones</a>~<a href="http://www.robertwgardner2000/gilthalion.html">Grand Adventures</a>~<a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/fanfichobbits.asp">The Hobbits</a>~<a href="http://www.tolkientrail.com">Tolkien Trail</a> </center></p><i>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000006>Gilthali on</A> at: 3/17/01 5:59:02 pm<br></i> __________________ Please read my fan fiction novel THE HOBBITS. Wanna hear me read Tolkien? Gilthalion's Grand Adventures!

03-17-2001, 05:36 PM	#44
The X Phial Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Out there with the truth. Come find me. Posts: 317	<BR> Re: worst cast</b><br><br> oops, I forgot:<br> <br> Eomer- Jim Carey<br> Orcs- Sigfried and Roy, the actors who play The Lone Gunmen, and the Borg<br> Faramir- Keanu Reeves<br> <br> That's it for now...<br> <p>--The X Phial-- You must believe in free will, you have no choice. Isaac Singer</p> __________________ But then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.

03-18-2001, 02:21 PM	#45
KayQy Wight Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Currently Spain Posts: 250	<BR>Resistance is futile!</b><br><br> Borg orcs! I love it! They would have to totally change the plot, though, so 7 of 9 or 1 could seduce someone.<br> <br> Gil: Just out of curiosity, in what sense is that a Best Cast? <br> <br> <p></p> __________________ Do you really want to know / Or are you a little scared, Afraid that God is not exactly what you'd have Him be? --OC Supertones, "Wilderness" "Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter." -- Max Beerbohm

03-18-2001, 02:28 PM	#46
*Gilthalion* Hobbitus Emeritus Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: South Farthing Posts: 635	<BR><br><br> <br> Depends on what you're in the mood for! <p><center> <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">Barrow-Downs</a>~<a href="http://www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000">Bare Bones</a>~<a href="http://www.robertwgardner2000/gilthalion.html">Grand Adventures</a>~<a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/fanfichobbits.asp">The Hobbits</a>~<a href="http://www.tolkientrail.com">Tolkien Trail</a> </center></p> __________________ Please read my fan fiction novel THE HOBBITS. Wanna hear me read Tolkien? Gilthalion's Grand Adventures!

03-18-2001, 06:02 PM	#47
Orald Shadow of Malice Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: right behind you Posts: 843	<BR><br><br> A comedy. Of the Space Balls sort. Or maybe Monty Python:Quest for the Holy Grail. The latter suits LotR better since it isn't futuristic but in the past. <p>Thus even as Eru spoke to us shall beauty not before conceived be brought into Eä, and evil be good to have been.</p>

03-27-2001, 10:15 PM	#48
The X Phial Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Out there with the truth. Come find me. Posts: 317	<BR><br><br> I guess we've exhausted this thread...oh well, it was fun while it lasted. <p>--The X Phial-- You must believe in free will, you have no choice. Isaac Singer</p> __________________ But then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.

03-29-2001, 01:21 PM	#49
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> Who says it's spent? Gilbert Gottfried as Gollum! <br> <br> How about an all Latino cast? <br> <br> Bilbo -- Cheech Marin<br> Frodo -- Oscar De La Hoya<br> Sam -- Ruben Blades<br> Merry -- Enrique Iglesias<br> Pippin -- Lou Diamond Phillips<br> Gandalf -- Wolfman Jack<br> Aragorn -- Antonio Banderas (Jimmy Smits?)<br> Legolas -- Andy Garcia<br> Gimli -- Paul Rodriguez<br> Denethor -- Edward James Olmos<br> Theoden -- Tito Puente <br> Boromir -- Benicio Del Toro<br> Faramir -- Ricky Martin<br> Wormtongue -- Miguel Ferrer<br> Arwen -- Jennifer Lopez<br> Saruman -- Anthony Quinn<br> Gollum -- John Leguizamo<br> Galadriel -- Salma Hayek <p></p>

06-15-2001, 12:45 PM	#50
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR> Re: Resistance is futile!</b><br><br> If LotR had been made as a 60's all-star adventure movie: <br> <br> Bilbo -- Sir Alec Guinness<br> Frodo -- Peter O'Toole<br> Sam -- Gene Hackman<br> Merry -- Michael Caine<br> Pippin -- Donald Sutherland<br> Gandalf -- Sir John Gielgud<br> Aragorn -- Clint Eastwood (or you could go William Holden)<br> Legolas -- Robert Redford<br> Gimli -- Telly Savalas (or George Kennedy)<br> Denethor -- Yul Brynner<br> Theoden -- Carroll O'Connor<br> Boromir -- Charles Bronson<br> Faramir -- Steve McQueen<br> Wormtongue -- Robert Vaughn (or Dennis Hopper)<br> Arwen -- Raquel Welch<br> Saruman -- Henry Fonda<br> Gollum -- Don Rickles<br> Galadriel -- Jane Fonda<br> Éomer -- James Coburn<br> Orcs -- Eli Wallach, Ben Johnson, Bruce Dern, Strother Martin<br> <br> Heh. This one probably means nothing to most Down-ers, but I think it's good! <p></p>

06-15-2001, 07:47 PM	#51
Zoe Wight Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 223	<BR><br><br> When you said Michael Caine as Merry, I thought of Michael Caine in <i> Educating Rita</i>... Merry the drunk who needs a haircut! (suppresses a laugh)<br> <br> I hope I'm not mixing up my actors and making a fool of myself... <p>"This sig is proudly quote-free." -Me.<br> (Also known as eoz, and now has a non-Tolkien forum, called <a href="http://pub57.ezboard.com/beverythingelse45161">everything else</a>.) </p>

06-16-2001, 09:31 AM	#52
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> lol. No, he's the same actor, but I was thinking of the late 60's/early 70's era Caine, a leaner, meaner customer. See <i> Zulu</i>, <i> The Ipcress File</i>, or <i> The Man Who Would Be King</i> (one of my all-time favorites!). But the hair is right, isn't it? Didn't that ent-draught grow a nice big bushy coiffure, too? <p></p>

06-16-2001, 08:43 PM	#53
Zoe Wight Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 223	<BR><br><br> But not one <i> that</i> 80s, I hope. <p>"This sig is proudly quote-free." -Me.<br> (Also known as eoz, and now has a non-Tolkien forum, called <a href="http://pub57.ezboard.com/beverythingelse45161">everything else</a>.) </p>

06-18-2001, 11:10 AM	#54
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> The 80's -- the decade of Big Hair! What better decade to draw tonsorial inspiration from? <br> <br> Besides, it's not <i> that</i> bad. I mean it ain't Jon Bon Jovi. Imagine Merry with <i> this</i> hairdo: <br> <p></p>

06-19-2001, 12:13 AM	#55
Zoe Wight Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 223	<BR><br><br> Excuse me while I run away in horror... <br> <br> I have to agree there. Compared to Bon Jovi, Michael Caine looks very un-80s. Except for the beard. <p>"This sig is proudly quote-free." -Me.<br> (Also known as eoz, and now has a non-Tolkien forum, called <a href="http://pub57.ezboard.com/beverythingelse45161">everything else</a>.) </p>

06-22-2001, 10:47 PM	#56
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> I love that picture. Just look at Jon flipping the big thumbs-up. He's just so positive. Letting you know everything's gonna be o-tay. You tell 'em, Jon!<br> <br> Carroll O'Connor RIP. Along with all the other dead guys on my list. <p></p>

06-23-2001, 04:35 AM	#57
*The Barrow-Wight* Night In Wight Satin Join Date: May 2000 Posts: 4,043	<BR><br><br> Well, after all, he's a cowboy. On a steel horse he rides. He's wanted, Dead or Alive. <p>The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)<br> I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p> __________________ The Barrow-Wight

06-25-2001, 05:25 AM	#58
Maglor68 Wight Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 112	<BR>The South Park Cast</b><br><br> I tried to get something like this going on another thread, but thought it would work here.<br> <br> Frodo - Stan<br> Sam - Kyle<br> Merry - Cartman<br> Pippin - Kenny<br> Gandalf - Chef<br> Aragorn - Mr. Marsh<br> Boromir - Uncle Jimbo<br> Legolas - Butters<br> Gimli - Tweak<br> Tom Bombadil - Big Gay Al<br> Goldberry - Mrs. Cartman<br> Elrond - Mr. Mackey<br> Galadriel - Principal Victoria<br> Arwen - Mrs. Marsh<br> Faramir - Ned<br> Bilbo - Timmy<br> Gollum - Starvin Marvin (actually suggested by someone else)<br> Saruman - The Mad Scientist<br> Wormtongue - Kevin<br> Lord of the Nazgul - Mr. Garrison<br> Gothmog - Mr. Hat <p></p>

06-25-2001, 07:22 PM	#59
The X Phial Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Out there with the truth. Come find me. Posts: 317	<BR><br><br> That's fabulous, I would see that movie, lol. <p>--The X Phial-- "Yet more fair is the living land of Lorien, and the Lady Galadriel is above all the jewels that lie beneath the earth!"</p> __________________ But then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.

06-28-2001, 10:48 AM	#60
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Cast</b><br><br> Best<br> <br> Saruman: Black Adder<br> Worm Tongue: Pee Wee Herman<br> <br> Frodo: Davy Jones<br> Sam: Micky Dolenz<br> Merry: Mike Nezmeth<br> Pippin: Peter Tork<br> <br> Nine Riders:<br> Eric Idle<br> Terry Jones<br> Graham Chapman<br> Monty Python, et al. (Ni!)<br> <br> Gollum: Robin Williams<br> <br> <br> Faramir: Rob Morrow<br> Galadriel: Madeline Kahn<br> Eowyn: Ellen Degenerous<br> Aragorn: Alec Baldwin<br> Arwen: Janine Turner<br> Legolas: Tuvok<br> Gimli: Neelix <br> Gandalf: John Lithgow<br> Barliman Butterbur: Kramer<br> <br> Theoden: Kelsey Grahmer<br> Eomer: Tom Hanks<br> <br> Shelob: Rosanne Barr<br> <br> Orgs: <p></p>

06-28-2001, 10:54 AM	#61
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> Brilliant! Roseanne Barr as Shelob is especially inspired casting. I take it this is the TV sitcom version of LotR, perhaps retitled <i> Four Hobbits, A Wizard, and a Magic Ring</i>, or perhaps <i> Gandalf in Charge</i>. <p></p>

06-28-2001, 11:15 AM	#62
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Worst Cast</b><br><br> Gandalf: Walter Kronkite<br> Eowyn: Sally Solomon or Goldi Hawn<br> Bilbo: Jonothan Winters<br> Boromir: John Wayne<br> Elrond: Ted Koppel<br> Galadriel: Lilly Tomlin<br> Aragorn: Dan Rather<br> Pippin: Pinoccio<br> Frodo: Bobby Sherman<br> Merry:Matthew Broderick<br> Sam: Nathan Lane<br> Saruman: Alec Guiness<br> Wormtongue: Earnest<br> Faramir: Michael Landon<br> Denathor: Charleton Heston<br> Theoden: Carrol O'Connor<br> Mouth of Sauron: Kurt Russell<br> <p></p>

06-28-2001, 11:23 AM	#63
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> Hey, you're good at this game! My hat is off to you. <p></p>

06-28-2001, 11:29 AM	#64
*The Barrow-Wight* Night In Wight Satin Join Date: May 2000 Posts: 4,043	<BR>The Lord of the Rings Classic Rock n Roll Opera</b><br><br> This will be obscure for many people, but some may get a kcik out of it.<br> <br> Frodo - Gene Simmons<br> Samwise - Ace Frehley<br> Merry - Paul Stanley<br> Pippin - Peter Kris<br> Gandalf - Edgar Winter<br> Aragorn - Bruce Springsteen<br> Boromir - Ted Nugent<br> Legolas - Darryl Hall<br> Gimli - John Oats<br> <br> Gollum - George Thoroughgood<br> Sauron - Ric Ocasek<br> Saruman - Ozzy Osbourne<br> Lord of the Nazgûl - Alice Cooper<br> Wormtongue - Bob Dylan<br> <br> Eowyn - Pat Benatar<br> Arwen - Joan Jet<br> Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir - The Blackhearts<br> Faramir - Marc Bolan<br> Treebeard - Robert Plant<br> Ents - ZZ Top<br> <br> Barliman Butterbur - Meatloaf<br> <p>The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)<br> I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p> __________________ The Barrow-Wight

06-28-2001, 11:53 AM	#65
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> I love this thread. How about a few additions: <br> <br> Ted Sandyman -- Don Henley<br> Éomer -- Rod Stewart<br> The Gaffer -- Billy Joel<br> Ghân-buri-Ghân -- Leon Russell<br> Faramir's men -- the rest of the Eagles<br> Orcs -- The Ramones <p></p>

06-28-2001, 11:59 AM	#66
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Roman Polanski, Director</b><br><br> <br> Sauron: Hanibal Lechtern (No lines, just sits and thinks of fava beans and chianti)<br> <br> Mouth of Sauron: Bob Newhart (I'm...I'm...mmm I'm, I'm the mouth of Sauron..)<br> <br> Wormtongue: Jason Alexander<br> <br> Orgs: The Dallas Cowboys, et al.<br> <br> Saramon: Mr. Burns (Simpsons) "Interesting.."<br> <br> Celeborn: Stuart French<br> Galadriel: Cher (women characters usually cast like this)<br> <br> <p></p>

06-28-2001, 12:03 PM	#67
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Singers. Let's make it a musical!</b><br><br> <br> Rose Gamgee: Dolly Parton <p></p>

06-28-2001, 12:21 PM	#68
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Bad casting</b><br><br> Hobbit's at Bilbo's going away party:<br> <br> The Proudfeet (err..Proudfoots): <br> George Jefferson<br> Tony Danza<br> Rosie O'Donnell<br> <br> Tooks, Brandybucks, Bolgers<br> Dick Cavitt<br> Tom and Dick Smothers<br> Dan Akroid<br> Gene Wilder<br> Jane Curtin<br> James Garner<br> Bill Murray<br> Gilda Radner<br> Robert Wagner<br> William Shatner<br> Kirk Douglas<br> Tony Curtis<br> Kate Mulgrew<br> Christopher Lloyd<br> <br> Tom Bombadil's Wife: Julie Andrews <p></p>

06-28-2001, 12:23 PM	#69
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> I think Shatner would make a fine Old Took. <p></p>

06-29-2001, 06:30 AM	#70
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Reeeealy bad casting</b><br><br> Having too much fun with this: <br> Following are stand-ins and stunt doubles<br> <br> Saraman = Lee Marvin<br> Fatty Bolger = Norm Peterson<br> Tom Bombadil = Fred Astaire<br> Butterbur = Drew Carey<br> Jimmy Stewart = Frodo<br> Isildur = Tyrone Power<br> Alan Alda = Merry<br> Wild Man of the Forest = Tim Allen<br> Arwen = Demi Moore<br> Paths of the Dead, Dead Man = Humphrey Bogart<br> Galadriel - Kathrine Hepburn<br> Legolas = Errol Flynn<br> Bree Tavern = Jamie Farr<br> Denathor = Boris Karloff<br> Celeborn = Marlon Brando<br> Bill the Pony = Dick Van Dyke <br> Faramir = Tom Selek<br> Boromir = Burt Reynolds<br> Theoden = Edward G. Robinson<br> Eowyn = Kes or 7 of 9?<br> Shire Ruffian = Regis Filben<br> Dunadain = Ted Dansen<br> Barrow Wight = The Crock Hunter<br> Sam's wife Rose: Betty White<br> Gandalf's Horse = Ceasar Romero<br> Treebeard = Herman Munster<br> Aragorn = Sylvester Stalone<br> Gollum = Dana Carvey<br> Gandalf = Charleton Heston <p></p>

06-29-2001, 06:42 AM	#71
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> I like the way you think. This is casting outside the box! Who would have ever thought of the 6'4" Jimmy Stewart to play a Hobbit?! <Jimmy Stewart voice> "Wha-wha-what's that you say? To Mordor?! I'm not going to Mordor!".... "Merry Christmas Lothlorien! Merry Christmas, Rivendell! Merry Christmas you old Bag End!"<br> <br> The Crock Hunter as the Barrow-wight! "Crikey! This Hobbit's a beauty! Look at the distinctive fur on his feet. Whoa! You're cranky, aren't ya? You're okay!"<br> <br> Jamie Farr as Nob, that's a fit, but Edward G. Robinson is truly unique casting. "I'm not coming back from this ride alive, see?"<br> <br> You've outdone yourself. <p></p>

06-29-2001, 07:27 AM	#72
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>And now, our feature presentation</b><br><br> A Ron Howard Production<br> <br> Starring: Martin Short, Michael J. Fox, Pauli Shore, Dana Carey and Leonardo DiCaprio<br> <br> featuring...<br> <br> Patrick Swayze as Glorfindel<br> John Travolta as Legolas<br> Chevy Chase as Boromir<br> Rodney Dangerfield as Butterbur<br> Margot Kidder as Arwen<br> Steve Martin as Elrond<br> Carol Burnet as Eowyn<br> Brad Pitt as Eomer<br> Denver Pyle as Gandalf (Duke's of Hazard Uncle Jesse)<br> Meryle Streep as Galadriel<br> Jim Carey as the Mouth of Sauron (Big mouth) <br> <br> <br> <p></p>

06-29-2001, 07:54 AM	#73
*Mister Underhill* Dread Horseman Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Behind you! Posts: 2,743	<BR><br><br> Rodney Dangerfield is wasted as Butterbur -- he should be playing Gandalf! He always comes on strong at the end of his movies; I can hear his line-reading of "I too am steward. Did you not know?" like he was standing right in front of me. <br> <p></p>

06-29-2001, 10:58 AM	#74
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>Better</b><br><br> Butterbur = Tim Conway or Lou Costello<br> Goldilocks = Sally Struthers<br> Gloin = Ed Asner<br> Goldberry = Courtney Love<br> Rohirim = Roddy McDowell<br> Ted Sandyman = Harvey Korman<br> Lurtz = Capt. Binghamton<br> Galadriel = Oprah<br> Aragorn = Arnold Schwartzenegger<br> Eowyn = Loretta Switt (aka Major Margaret Hullahan)<br> she'll beat the &* out of 'em <p></p>

06-29-2001, 11:43 AM	#75
LionPixie Animated Skeleton Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28	<BR>worse....</b><br><br> Bilbo = Mickey Rooney<br> Gandalf = Carl Malden<br> Aragorn = Clint Eastwood "Make my day" or Robert <br> Mitchum<br> Faramir = Richard Chamberlain or Tom Sellek <br> Eomer = Richard Dreyfuss or Robert Redford<br> Legolas = Dr. Niles Crane<br> Frodo = Dudley Moore<br> Tom Bombadil = Ray Ramano <br> Pippin = Steve Irkle "Did I do thaaaat?" <p></p>