Song Parodies

[doug*platypus]

I've thought of an ending for my book: 'and he lived happily ever after to th end of his days. A fine ending, and none the worse for having been used before.

Bilbo

What's that, Bilbo? You say it's OK to do one that's been used before? Cheers...

Picture if you will, Avril Lavigne...


One was a Dwarf, one was an Elf,

Could I make it anymore obvious?

One was real short, and one did ballet,

What more could I say?

Yeah he was a sk8r Elf, we said "see ya later Elf!"

Next you'll see Gimli tryin to surf!

He had a pretty face, but his head was up in space,

We didn't need that in Middle-Ear-u-er-th!!

[LePetitChoux]

Sauron singing to/about the Ring

I Want You To Come This Way

Cause you are, my fire,
My one, desire,
Believe, when I say,
I want you to come this way.

But you, are in HIS hold,
Can't quite reach your gold,
When HE says,
I want to go that way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
I want to go that way

Am I, your fire,
Your one, desire,
Yes I know, it's too late,
But I want you to come this way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
I want to go that way

Now I can see that we're falling apart,
From the way that it used to be, Yeah,
No matter the distance,
I want you to know,
That deep down inside of me...

You are, my fire,
The one, desire,
You are
You are,
You are,
You are...

Don't wanna hear you say,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
(Don't wanna hear you say),
I never wanna hear you say,
I want to go that way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
(Don't wanna hear you say),
I want to go that way

Tell me why...
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never want you to hear me say,
(Wanna know you heard it),
I want you to come this way
I want you to come this way


We Wantss It That Way (Gollum's version)

We're yours, completely,
We feel so deeply,
Your our first thought everyday,
And we want it that way

Our life is for you,
And we, adore you,
we love you more, everyday,
And we wantss it that way

Your trickses,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
No more lies,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear us say,
We wantss it that way

Our heart, is on fire,
Such a strong, desire,
Yes we know, it's too late,
But we wantss it that way

No tricksess,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
No more lies,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear us say,
We wantss it that way

We gave you our heart,
Preciouss right from the start,
And you went and tricksed usss, yeah
No matter the distance,
We want you to know,
That deep down inside of usss...

You are, our fire,
The one, desire,
You are,
You are,
You are,
You are...

Don't wanna hear you say,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
We wantss to hear us say,
We love it when we hear us say,
We wantss it that way

Your trickses,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
No more lies,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear uss say,
(We wanna hear uss say)
We wantss it that way

Your trickesss,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear uss say,
(Love it when we say)
We wantss it that way
Precious, we wantss it that way

That wasn't great, but hey.

[Thulorongil]

I see many songs from musicals coming. 'Don't have much talent in writing them, but you could have :

How do you solve a problem like the One Ring? (Maria, from the Sound of Music)

I also see Saruman standing on top of Orthanc singing "the Hills are Alive (with the sounds of music)"

Or the hobbits singing, snubbing Bilbo for going on an adventure to the tune of "Oliver" from Oliver

How about Arwen or Eowyn singing "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables about Aragorn?

[LePetitChoux]

Blood drops on weapons and sharp fangs on orcses
Black dirty spears and warm fresh new corpses
Ultimate power and twenty cool rings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Seven Palantìrs and corrupted Wizards
Free extra armies and terrible blizzards
Nazgûl that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Orcs in black armour with red eyes on shields
Far seeing eye and blood coveed fields
World domination with the help of One Ring
These are a few of my favorite things!

When the Elves bite, and I lose rings
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember
my favorite things
and then I don't feel so bad!

[repeat]
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[LePetitChoux]

Retreat, Retreat I couldn't retreat tonight
My armies are too light to try to pull them back
Stop, Stop I couldn't stop tonight
Not for all the rings in the sack (?!)

I could have slayed all night
I could have slayed all night
And still have begged for more
My Nazgûl spread their wings
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before

I'll never know
What made it so exciting
Why all at once,
My eye took flight

I only know when He
Began to fight with me
I could have slayed slayed slayed!
All night.

It's after three now

Don't you agree now
I really ought retreat

I could have slayed all night
I could have slayed all night
And still have begged for more
My Nazgûl spread their wings
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before

I'll never know
What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my eye took flight.

I only know when He
Began to fight with me.
I could have slayed slayed slayed all night!

I understand, dear.
It's all been grand, dear.
But now it's time to retreat.

I could have slayed all night
I could have slayed all night
And still have begged for more
My Nazgûl spread their wings
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before

I'll never know
What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my eye took flight.

I only know when He
Began to fight with me.
I could have slayed slayed slayed all night!
And still have begged for more.
My Nazgûl spread their wings,
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before.

I'll never know
What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my eye took flight.

I only know when He
Began to fight with me.
I could have slayed slayed slayed!
All night

[ January 21, 2003: Message edited by: LePetitChoux ]

[LePetitChoux]

Why does no-one ever anwer this thread but me? [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]

[Nuranar]

More! More! More!

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

LePetitChoux, I love your lyrics! Part of that's because I know the original songs. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] I'd post some myself...if I could think of them. I'll try, but please don't stop! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[gralin musicteeth]

I'm really sorry about this guys, but I was reading The History of Middle-earth and I came across the part where Frodo is called Bingo and I just had to parody a song!

There was a Hobbit who had a ring and Bingo was his Namo! (bad pun [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] )
B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his Namo!


ok that's enough outta me.

[ February 17, 2003: Message edited by: gralin musicteeth ]

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Okay, I just thought of this one while I was watching Sailor Moon. Hey, I'm sick and there's nothing on! *shifty eyes*

Sing this to the tune of the Sailor Moon theme song:

Fighting evil by moonlight
Acting kingly by daylight
Never running from an Uruk-hai!
He is the one named Elessar!

He will never turn his back on his friends,
He is always there to defend
He is the one on whom Frodo depends!
He is the one named Elessar!

{musical interlude...la la la la}

Fighting evil by moonlight
Acting kingly by daylight
Never running from an Uruk-hai!
He is the one named Elessar!

His friends are Legolas!
And Gimli the Dwarf!
And Gandalf the White!
And the Rohirrim!

Seeking his kingship of Gondor!
He is the one named Elessar!
He is the one named Elessar!
He is the one--Elessar!

I had a bit of trouble with the second-last section...yes i am extremely bored. How can you tell?

The Gold Hall of Edoras
(as sung by Gríma)

On the dark road from Orthanc, leechcraft on my mind
Wouldn't have to betray them if they weren't so unkind
Up ahead on the high hill, I saw the shimmering Hall
My thoughts grow wicked and my cold sore hurts. One day I'll show them all!
There she stood on the front steps -- I heard the horses neigh
And I was thinking to myself "I've got to find out how to win her someday."
Then she turned and looked at me, stormy eyes were so cold
The Rohirrim rode up to the gate on their steeds so bold

Welcome to the Gold Hall of Edoras
Such a desperate place, such a lonely face
Plenty intrigue at the Gold Hall of Edoras
Any time of year we're devoid of cheer

Theoden's mind I have twisted so to my cunning he'll bend
I tell him that the wizard Saruman has ever been Rohan's friend
How my lady despairs now, locked in her cage
Some days she's the king's nurse, some days she's his page
Soon I'll call her aside, say, "Please listen, my dear:
Your spirit would be happier if you came with me from here"
And still that Eomer thinks he can have his say
So I thought up a few lies to tell and had him dragged away

Welcome to the Gold Hall of Edoras
Such a desperate place, such a lonely face
I'm laying my plots in the Gold Hall of Edoras
Won't they be surprised to meet my allies!

Whispers in the king's ear, poison in his cup
And he said, "I'm so old and tired I might as well just give up"
And all across the Marches they are chasing orcish bands
They fight them with their steely swords but they just can't stop the Hand

Last thing I remember I saw Gandalf at the door
I tried to slip right out of there but they threw me to the floor
"Relax," said Theoden, "I will give you horse and tack.
You can set out anywhere you like but you must not come back!"

(I'm working on some other Eagles parodies currently, but I have a bunch of Queen parodies referencing FotR at http://fergo.eshire.net/queen.htm)

[ February 20, 2003: Message edited by: Fergo Baggins ]

[Pennthangeil]

Seventy six cave trolls led the big parade,
With a hundred & ten Uruk-Hai close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows,
Of the finest orcs in hose(?),
The cream of Sauruman's hand.
Seventy six cave trolls feared morning sun,
With a hundred & ten Uruk-Hai right behind.
There were over a thousand breeds,
Srpinging up like weeds,
There were orcs of every shape & size.

Thats as far as I can go. Help me out

[TealDude3]

Here is a song that is sung by the Army of the Last Alliance marching to Mordor. I'm wrote it for my fanfic/parody, so please don't take it.

Queen's "We Will Rock You"

Sauron you're a maia make a big noise
Playin' in the fields gonna be a Dark Lord some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your orcs all over the place
Singin’

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Sauron you're a dark maia hard maia
Shouting in the fields gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo' face
You big disgrace
Wavin' your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Sauron you're an old maia poor maia
Fightin' with your eye gonna make you some uproar some day
You got mud on your face
Big disgrace
Somebody betta put you back into your place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
*********************************************

This one is fairly simple. The theme to South Park.

I'm goin' down to Hobbiton,
Gonna have myself a time.

Friendly hobbits everywhere,
Humble folks without temtation.

I'm goin' down to Hobbiton,
gonna leave my woes behind.

Lots of pipeweed day or night,
Hobbits shouting, "Howdy neighbor!"

Headin' on out to Hobbiton,
Gonna' see if I can't unwiend.

Mumble mumble mumble mumble,
Mumble mumble mumble mumble.

So come on down to Hobbiton,
And meet some friends of mine.

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ February 22, 2003: Message edited by: TealDude3 ]

[Meela]

anyone know How Can You Mend A Broken Heart by the Bee Gees? it suddenly occurred to me today to change it to How Can You Mend A Broken Sword, sung by Aragorn.

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

This is She Hates Me, by Puddle of Mudd....don't worry lads, there'll be none o' those eff words!

By Frodo to Boromir

Met a Man, thought he was grand
Talked to him, found out first hand
Went well for a month or two
Then it all came unglued

In a mess, that I'm s'posed to fix
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
He was living one big lie

Boromir wants it
RING!
Boromir wants it
That golden thing
He fought too hard and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat
Down to Rauros

He was good for half of a year
After that, he began to leer
This Ring, it is hard to bear
With Boromir, always standing the-re!

In a mess, that I'm s'posed to fix
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
He was living one big lie

Boromir wants it
RING!
Boromir wants it
That golden thing
He fought too hard and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat
Down to Rauros

{musical interlude: guitar solo}

That's the story, and you see
Learned my lesson and so did he
So now it's over
And I'm glad
I was a fool
Just like he said!

Boromir wants it
RING!
Boromir wants it
That golden thing
He fought too hard and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat
Down to Rauros

La la la la la la la la la la
That Ring!
La la la la la la la la la la
That Ring!
La la la la la la la la la la
(and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat)
(Ring)

BOROMIR WANTS IIIIIIIIIIT!

[elven maiden Earwen]

the one that was bingo you could have used Frodo.
F-R-O-D-O
F-R-O-D-O
ECT.

[Meela]

Aragorn singing I Saved The World Today by the Eurythmics (sp?)

sorry, dont know lyrics, cant do full song

[Lostgaeriel]

Meela suggested that the Bee Gees’ “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” be rewritten as “How Can You Mend a Broken Sword” sung by Aragorn. Here it is!

How Can You Mend a Broken Sword

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could always see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you heal a Morgul wound?
How can you stop Frodo from falling down?
Sauron will stop the sun from shining.
What makes Arda go round?
How can you heal this awful wound?
How can a Ranger be the King?
Please help me heal the Ringbearer and let me be the King.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could always see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a Broken Sword?
How can you wear Gondor’s lofty crown?
How can you stop Arwen from whining?
What makes Arda go round?
How can you mend this Broken Sword?
How can a Ranger be the King?
Please help me mend my Broken Sword and let me be the King.

[ March 02, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[Lyra Greenleaf]

how about cry me a river, by the wonderful Justin?

Justin Timberlake
Cry Me A River

Gollum: You were my own
You were my precious
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And fell off my hand
But I bet you didn't think that Hobbit would pick you up, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I guessed it myself
now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
unless I get you from the Master

You know that I love you
Why did you leave me, all alone?
Now you know that I’ll get you
For my own

Sméagol: No I refuse, master’s our friend
I’m not gonna steal
Gollum: Why won’t you learn,
now it's your turn
To kill,
kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Get back the precious, yea yea

I know that you say you want to go back to your master
But it wasn’t like I wasn’t good to you and you know it (don’t act like you don’t know it)
Cos I only want to have you back and keep you with me
Cos living without my precious now is gonna kill me

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I guessed it myself
now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
unless I get you from the Master

You know that I love you
Why did you leave me, all alone?
Now you know that I’ll get you
For my own

Sméagol: No I refuse, master’s our friend
I’m not gonna steal
Gollum: Why won’t you learn,
now it's your turn
To kill,
kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Get back the precious, yea yea

Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins
Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins
Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins
Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I guessed it myself
now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
unless I get you from the Master

Kill me that Hobbit (You could just strangle him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Or you could smother him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Stab out his eyeses)
Kill me that Hobbit, yea yea

Kill me that Hobbit (You could just strangle him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Or you could smother him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Stab out his eyeses)
Kill me that Hobbit, yea yea

Kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit (Oh)
Kill me that Hobbit (Oh)
Kill me that Hobbit (Oh)
Kill me that Hobbit…………………………etc.

[Meela]

*hugs Lostgaeriel*

ty!! that was excellent [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Lostgaeriel]

I've been working on parodies of three cowboy songs for the past few weeks. I'm still tweaking one, so here are two for now.

The Warrior’s Lament
(sung to the tune of the traditional western song The Cowboy’s Lament aka The Streets of Laredo)

As I walked out on the banks of Anduin,
As I walked near the Great River one day
I spied a young warrior arrayed in his armour,
Arrayed in his arms in a boat he did lay.

Chorus:
“Oh, beat the drum slowly and sound the horn lowly,
Sing a lament as you send me along.
Send me to the great blue Sea; there gulls will watch o’er me;
I’m a young warrior and I know I’ve done wrong.”

“I see by your outfit that you are a Ranger,”
These words he did say as I slowly drew nigh.
“Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story,
Got shot in the breast and I knew I must die.”

“Go say to my father, I loved him, my father.
I did this for him,” then the poor warrior said.
Then in an instant the vision had left me,
I stood still in mourning – my brother was dead.

Chorus:
“Oh, beat the drum slowly and sound the horn lowly,
Sing a lament as you send me along.
Send me to the great blue Sea; there gulls will watch o’er me;
I’m a young warrior and I know I’ve done wrong.”

~

At this site you can listen to free RA Preview of instrumental version of The Streets of Laredo (The Cowboy’s Lament) played by folk guitarist Jim Hendricks. Just scroll down to find it. (You can hear the Celtic roots of the melody.)

The lyrics have many variations. Here are a couple versions:
Thom Stark’s revised lyrics (& song history)

Lyrics from Teddy Blue’s Bunkhouse are similar to those I referred to. My ref. had only the first 2 verses & last verse with chorus as shown here.

----------

The Three Hunters
[Sung to the TV theme song Annie Oakley by Fred Wise and Ben Weisman, © 1958 Charles N. Daniels, copyright renewed 1986 Blen Music Publishing Co. (ASCAP)/Erica Music Publishing Co. (ASCAP)]

I can hit an orc’s eye far away or nigh,
Play, in Helm’s Deep, Uruk-counting games.
I can walk on snowdrifts; distant horses I can spy;
Legolas Greenleaf is my name.

They call me Lego Greenleaf,
Lego, Lego Greenleaf,
Prince of Northern Mirkwood,
With an ‘Ai! Noro lim!’ and a twang, twang, twang
My ridin’ and my shootin’ are real good.

I dig all the gemstones glitt’ring underground -
How the mithril glimmers in moonbeams.
So won’t you come and join me, you’ll love deep Aglarond,
And Gimli Gloin’s son is my name.

They call me Gimli Gloin’s son,
Gimli, Gimli Gloin’s son,
Dwarf above all of the rest,
I shout ‘Hey! Whoa there!’; my axe rang, rang, rang;
Horse ridin’ and tree-cuttin’ aren’t my best.

When a gang of Nazgûl stab Frodo at night,
Or Mithrandir falls with Udûn’s Flame,
I’m the one they call on to try to set things right,
And Elfstone, Strider are my names.

They call me Elfstone, Strider,
Aragorn and Estel,
King of Men of the West,
With a Sword Reforged ringin’ clang, clang, clang
My healin’ and sword fightin’ are the best.

They call me Elfstone, Strider,
Aragorn and Estel,
King of Men of the West.

~

If you would like to hear the original song, send me a Private Message. I've not found any website that has posted the song. But I have requested the theme from one of a few sites that will e-mail a file. When I get it, I can e-mail it to you or direct you to the website and you can request it yourself.

[ March 12, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

As it turns out, the theme they sent me was the opening to the TV show but sans the song. The song, sung by Gail Davis, is on The Cowboy Album, a 1992 compilation by Kid Rhino (a label of Rhino Records Inc.)

[Lostgaeriel]

Now this one is based on El Paso by Marty Robbins © 1959 (renewed) Mariposa Music Inc. (BMI).

For those of you who don't know the original, all I've been able to find is a wav file of the first 2 lines sung by Marty Robbins (+ original lyrics) here.

My original plan had been to make the last verse about Frodo & Gollum at Sammath Naur. Something like:

From out of nowhere, that Gollum has found me;
Biting my hand for the gold 2Rπ ('two-ar-pi').
Throttled by two loathsome arms that I’d pitied,
One little bite and “My Precious, Good-bye.”

Although it needs some work. (Obviously.)

However, my first verse was from 'The Shadow of the Past' and without adding umpteen verses, I couldn't get Frodo any further along than to Rivendell. Maybe someone else can continue the story.

Imladris

Out in the West Mid-earth land of The Shire,
I learned that I had a magical Ring.
Nighttime would find me in Bag End’s warm study
Gandalf would smoke and Sauron’s Eye would sting.

Tempting and strong was the pow’r of My Precious;
Wicked and evil while casting its spell.
I had to destroy this ‘tri-fel-ling trinket’.
Set off for Bree then on to Rivendell.

One night, a wild young Ranger joined in,
Wild as the West Ocean wi-i-i-i-ind.
Warning and wond’ring, the crowd he was pond’ring,
Knowing my secret, the Ring that I held...

We’re in danger-er-er! He
Questioned my wisdom in using this trinket.
Down went his hand for the Sword that he wore.
His ID was proven by Gandalf’s old letter;
The wise, wary Ranger then bolted the door.

All through the long night we waited in silence,
Shocked by the foul things the Nazgûl had done.
Many thoughts raced through my mind as I sat there.
We had but one chance, and that was to run.

Out through the back door of Barli’s we ran,
Out where the ponies were ti-i-i-i-ied.
But there was not one – we looked cooked and well done.
We paid Bill Ferny for one we can’t ride...

…So we walked fast as we
Could from the North Kingdom village of Breeland,
Into the Wild lands that we did not know.

Back at the Pony, my life would be worthless.
Everything’s gone in life, nothing is left.
It seems so long since I’ve seen the green Shire;
My love is stronger than my fear of Wraiths.

I saddled up and away I did go,
Riding alone in the dar-ar-ar-ar-ark.
One recent ev’ning a Black blade did find me.
Tonight, nothing’s worse than this pain in my heart...

And at last he-ere I
Am on the hill overlooking Bruinen.
I can see white water rushing below.
My Quest is right and it pushes me onward,
Down to the Ford with the Great Ring I go.

Off to my right I see five mounted Nazgûl;
Off to my left ride another Black four.
Splashing and snorting, As-fa-loth won’t fail me;
I have to make it to Elrond’s back door.

Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel
A deep, freezing pain in my si-i-i-i-ide.
Though I am trying to stay in the saddle,
I’m getting weary, unable to ride...

But my love fo-or My
Precious is strong and I rise where I’ve fallen.
’Cause I am weary I cry, ‘Elbereth!’
I see the Ringwraiths like smoke on the water.
I feel the knife-shard go deep in my breast.

From out of nowhere, Lord Elrond has found me;
Healing my wound as I sleep on pillows,
Cradled by two loving arms that I’d die for,
One little kiss and “Sam Gamgee, Hullo!”

[ March 10, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[ March 19, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[Antien]

Some people might find this offending as it is an eminem song, but kindly(if you are one of these people) just ignore.


I can just imagine gandalf rapping

guess whos back, back again
Sauron back, tell orc men
guess whos back guess whos back...

[Pennthangeil]

This one is really messed up

Sauron ate the little hobbits
all the little hobbits of the woooorld
red and yellow, black and white
he ate them all in just one bite
Sauron ate the hobbits of the world...


*I do nt support the eating or mistreatment of hobbit or hobbit-like folk

[Vuelve]

k this one just dawned on me. lame attempt. but here i go.
to Hard Knock Life from Orphan Annie play thingie.
Fish and Gollum singing while gollum is banging the fish against the rocks at the Forbidden Pool

Fish: Its A hard knock life for me, its a hard knock life for me
Gollum: What a nice Fish-y, Thats gonna be in my bell-y
Fish: Its A hard knock life!! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Vuelve]

to the tune of Gossip Folks by Missy Elliott

[People in background chatting]
Saruman - Yo, yo yo move out of the way
We got Sauron the Great Eye coming through
Legolas-Girl that is Sauron he lost a lot of weight.
Arwen-He is so thin that you can't see his body just that big eye.
Bilbo-I heard he has this strange obsession with rings.
Gandalf-Well I heard he only wants one.
Elrond-Hey Hey, here he comes now......

[Sauron]
When I walk up in the piece
I ain't gotta even speak
I'm a bad mamajama big eye stupid halfling you ain't gotta like me
How bout Bilbo
Need to talk what he knows
And stop talking bout the One Ring Gandalf you jus mad it ain't yours
I know theres nine of ya'll
Ya'll job jus to make me fall
Step to me get burnt like toast
the fellowship thats a real joke
tot-tal con-trol
I don't brag I mostly boast
From the Mordor to the Great Sea coast
Izzy kizzy eye see you!!

LoL sorry that one just came to mind. Eye see you lol thats lame I know. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

[Evisse the Blue]

Half an year later, I'm reviving this thread to add my pathetic excuse of a parody to Eminem's 'lose yourself'. Well - if nobody else did it, I just had to do it. This song positively asks for a ME- style parody. Anyone else is most welcome to have a better shot at it. In the meantime here's my version:

lose yourself

(Look, if you had, one shot, one opportunity, to seize the thing you always wanted, the One Ring, would you capture it, or just let it slip?)

His palms are sweaty,
knees weak, arms are heavy
there's vomit on his elf cloak already:
Galadriel's lembas,
but on the surface he looks calm and ready,
to cast the Ring down,
but he keeps clutching it then and now.
The whole world goes so still,
He reaches for it and -
there goes his will;
he's claimed it, how everybody's trembling now,
'could be all over now, time's out, over, bleoah!

Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity,
oh, there goes Gollum, he kicked poor Sam Gamgee,
He’s so mad but he won’t give up that Ring
Is he? No; he won’t have it, he knows – all his slinkety ropes
They don’t matter no more
He knows that but he’s broke,
So obsessed and he knows it,
He’d better go capture the Ring and hope it won’t pass him.

Refrain:
Lose yourself to the Ring NOT,
The moment you own it,
You better quickly let it go,
You only get one shot,
Do not miss your chance to throw it
This opportunity comes once in an age,
You better, lose yourself….

Gollum’s got his Precious now, Sauron could be escaping,
The world is his for the taking
Make him king as we move toward a new world order.
Frodo’s life was boring, but Ringbearing’s close to post mortar
The Ring only grows harder, it only grows hotter,
The Eye is all over him, the Nazgul all on him
Coast to coast he’s known as the Middle Earth trotter,
Lonely roads, Eru only knows
He’s gone farther from home, and he’s missing a finger
He goes home and barely knows his own Shire
But hold your nose, ‘cause here it comes, the hot lava,
Gollum fell with the Ring and now he’s cold product.
We move on to the next age, rejoice, Sauron passed and left nada,
So the epic is told and unfolds, I supposed Frodo’s doomed now,
Cause the Cracks of Doom go: dada dum, da dum da da.

Refrain:….

[Brinniel]

Ack! I've been writing a "Lose Yourself" parody for the past six months (it got lost in my old computer and I finally managed to retrieve and finish it). Looks like you beat me to it. Your parody's pretty good, though, Evisse. Mine's a bit different, so I figure I might as well post mine, anyway. So here we go: two "Lose Yourself"s in a row.

(Oh, and just so no one gets confused: the first and third verses are about Frodo and the second is about Aragorn. Also, I might mention that some of the lines from the original song remained the same; they just fit in too perfectly.)

Look, if you had one chance, one opportunity
To save all of Middle-earth

One moment
Would you do it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, arms weak, chest is heavy
He's been stabbed twice already, Sam's spaghetti
He's worried, but on the surface he looks calm and steady
He walks on, but he keeps on rememberin
What he holds on to, the temptation grows so strong
He pulls out the ring, how he desires to put it on
He's desperate, oh how it's been so long
Then the moment's gone, but time keeps movin on

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Frodo, he resists
Hes so tired, but he wont give up that easy
No, he wont have it , he knows his paths have been torn
It dont matter, hes worn
He knows that, but hes so alone
At times it seems so cold

He can't wait to get back to his hobbit hole, that's when it's
Back to his home again yo
With the ring gone from him
He better go complete this quest and hope it dont fail him

You better not lose yourself to the One Ring, the moment
You own it, you better let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance, let's go
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The time escaping, through this hole that its gaping
Gondor is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but royalty means to face the Lord of Mordor
It only grows harder, only grows darker

At Helms Deep, he leads us all into battle
From Gondor to Bree, hes known as Aragorn or Strider
Lonely roads, he only knows
Hes grown farther from home and his girl Arwen
Who gives up immortality to be right by him
But hold on tight cuz here here goes the cold water
Cuz Eowyn likes him now, hes hot topic

She thinks he’s a great guy, he’s fly
She dove for him and got nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
And Arwen’s still his partner, and the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

You better bring yourself to your own fate, the moment
You own it you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance, let's go
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

No more games, I've changed to what you call crazed
Burdened with this ring like I've been caged
I was plain fine in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I've been chewed up and spit out and stripped away
But I kept walkin and every step I keep fightin’
Best believe for this task it’s worth dyin’
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That this darn ring is so enticing
And I cant no longer find a reason not to put it on
Cuz man, these goddarn waybreads dont provide defiance
And its no dream, it’s real, I can’t deny it, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to keep up without stumblin, and
I don’t want to see the world fall apart in front of me, because of me
Bug eyed drama screamin on and
Too much for me to just
Stay in one spot, whether I like it or not
It has gotten to the point, where I’m stuck
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up eaten or shot
Success is my one and only option, failure’s not
Sam, I like you, but you can't help me no more
I cannot fail, no, for too long I've fought

So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

You better not lose yourself to the One Ring, the moment
You own it, you better let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance, let's go
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

Whew! I just realized how long that song really was. No wonder it took so long for me to finish. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Everdawn]

TealDude3 that was CLASSIC!

On the ANNIE note, here is the revised TOMORROW.

Sauron'll come out tomorrow,
You can bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
Souron'll come.

Just killing about tomorrow
Clears away the orc heads
And the sorrow,
Till there's none!

When im stuck in a day
Thats grey and lonely
I just stick out my sword
And stab
And say!

Sauron'll come out tomorrow!
So ya gotta hang on until tomorrow!
Come what May!
Ill kill Sauron tomorrow!
Your always a Day away!

meh. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ August 15, 2003: Message edited by: Everdawn ]

[Evisse the Blue]

Brinniel, yours is so much better than mine! It certainly was worth taking all this time to finish.

I was plain fine in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I've been chewed up and spit out and stripped away
But I kept walkin and every step I keep fightin’
Best believe for this task it’s worth dyin’
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That this darn ring is so enticing

This could well be Frodo's hymn [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Maikadurwen]

to the tune of girl all the bad guys want by bowling for soup:

its the 8th of afterlithe and im waiting
to finally talk to a guy a lot plder than me
his name is gandalf,he's a wizard with that glamdring
he wears a pointiy hat;I'm not quite sure what that means

and when he walks all the wind blows and the elves sing
But he dosent notice me

cause hes watching fighting
beatin over tough guys
listenin' to laments
mordor is in his eyes

its like a bad movie ,hes lookin through me if youre were me then youd be screamin some one give me as i fail misrebly trying to get the info all the bad guys want..

he likes the good in folks and i like elevenses
his head is full of info and where to go
he said he d like to meet and talk to saruman
he'll never know that he the best hobbit he'll ever have

and when he walks all the wind blows and the elves sing but he doesent notice me

cause he is watchin fightin
beatin over tough guys
listenin to laments
mordor is in his eyes
he likes that big ole grey beard
balrog fightin pass
ridin on big shadowfax

does that pointy hat make a man

its like a bad movie ;hes lookin through me if you were me than youed be screamin someone tell me as i fail misrebly tring to get the info all the bad guys want

there he goes again with his hat on
and matty stuff all in his hair
he broke my heart iwant to be informed
all i wanted was to be told of all the scorn

now im on a journey trying to be a tough guy listenin to those laments mordor is in my eyes
i cant grow a grey beard and i aint got no balrog pass all i gots a ring
its like a bad movie he is lookin through me if you were me thaen youed be screamin someone tell me as i fail misrebly trying to get the info all the bad guys want
trying to get the info all the bad guys want


man this took forever to write
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[THE Ka]

OOH! OOH! i got one!!!

aragron singing "castaway" by, GREENDAY. because greenday is the best all time band of the 90's!!!!

I'm on a sentimental journey/ into sight and sound/of no return and no looking back or down/ a conscientious objector to the war inside my mind/ leaving in the lurch and i'm taking back what's mine/
i'm on a mission/into the destionation unknown/an expedition/ onto the desolation road/
where i'm a....
castaway-going at alone
castaway-now i'm on my own
castaway-going at it alone
castaway-now i'm on my own
lost and found/trouble bound/castaway
i'm riding on the night train and driving stolen cars/ testing my nerves out on the blvd./spontaneous combustion in the corners of my mind/leaving in the lurch/and i'm taking back what's mine/
i'm on a mission. into a destination unknown/an expedition/onto the desolation road/ where i'm a...

castaway-going at it alone
castaway-now i'm on my own
castaway-going at it alone
castaway-now i'm on my own
lost and found/trouble bound/ castaway.

now that's a cool song, ether that or system of a downs arial's....

stepped out of line, like a sheep runs from the herd,marching out of time,to my own beat now, the only way i know...
-Greenday, Minority

[Vuelve]

Ok Ringies,Downers,and Gandalf Groupies, here is the much anticipated song parody from me.

Ok so it really wasn't anticipated.Heck, you didn't even know I was writing one.You probably don't even know who I am.But on with the parody.Keep in mind it took me a very, very long time to write this.

To Shakira's "Objection (Tango)" Vuelve presents to you "Objection (Precious)" as sung by Gollum:


It's not your fault that your so irresistable,
And all the damage you'll cause is unfixable.
A stupid fat hobbit came and took you away,
But leave it up to me you'll be mine.
Forever once again!

(chorus)
Objection!The Precious.Its my obsession.
I give it all of my attention.
Loves it forever and never another.
But Bilbo came and took you.
Stupid fat hobbit I'll come and get you.
and use a nice big fishy.
To hit you on the head and take my ring.
Precious, I want my Precious....

Next to the cheap Elven rings you look beautiful.
Thats why in front of the Eye your so visible.
Even Sauron knows small things also count.
When it comes to rings theres no doubt.
Your the best thats come around.

(chorus)
Objection!The Precious.Its my obsession.
I give it all of my attention.
Loves it forever and never another.
But Bilbo came and took you.
Stupid fat hobbit I'll come and get you.
and use a nice big fishy.
To hit you on the head and take my ring.
Precious, I want my Precious....

The goal is to find my Precious.
Why did he have to take you away from me.
Away from me....

That is my Precious and I want it.
Give it back you stupid hobbit.
It is not for thee.Was never meant to be.
And I will bite you, and kick you, then drown you of course.
Fat thief of a Baggins
I'm gonna get you!!

(chorus)
Objection!The Precious.Its my obsession.
I give it all of my attention.
Loves it forever and never another.
But Bilbo came and took you.
Stupid fat hobbit I'll come and get you.
and use a nice big fishy.
To hit you on the head and take my ring.
Precious, I want my Precious....

Give it back, give it back...
Give it back....
To hit you on the head and take my ring.
Give it back.
To hit you on the head and take my ring.
Give it back.
GIve it back!


---In my opion this is my best post ever,and I know it was my longest. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] ---

~Peace~Love~&~Good~Music~
Vuelvs'

[Evisse the Blue]

LOL, that was beautiful!
(we got a Frodo song, an Aragorn one, one for Gandalf, and now Gollum! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] )

[the guy who be short]

Guess who's back
Back again
Gandalf's back
He's not grey.
Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back,

Lion King:
From the day we arrive on Arda,
And blinking, step into Anar,
There's more to see than can ever be seen,
More to do than can ever be done.
There's far too much to take in here
This ring that Bilbo has found...
This little thing!
It's Saurons ring!
Keep great and small spellbound

Its the Circle of Gold!
And it enchants us all!
Through despair without hope
Through greed and sorrow
Till we find those cracks
In the Mountain Exploding
And throw in the Circle
The Circle of Gold!
Destroy the Circle!
That Circle of Gold!

[ August 17, 2003: Message edited by: the guy who be short ]

[the guy who be short]

More Lion King:

In the Last Home, The Last Homely home
The Dunadan sleeps tonight
In the Last Home, the Last Elven home,
The Dunadan sleeps tonight.


My dad's kicking me off my computer now.

[Lostgaeriel]

This one is silly. But now the song is stuck in my head. It might as well be stuck in yours! (Once again, I apologize for my very poor use of Sindarin.)

My Frodo Lies Over the Ocean Traditional

My Frodo sailed over the Ocean.
My Frodo sailed over the Sea.
My Frodo sailed over the Ocean.
Oh, bring back my Frodo to me.

Refrain:
Bring back, bring back,
Bring back my Frodo to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh, bring back my Frodo to me.

Last night as I lay on my pillow,
Last night as I lay on my bed,
Last night as I lay on my pillow,
I dreamed that my Frodo was dead,

Refrain

The Elanor’s blooming around me,
The blossoms of Ethuil appear,
The parth clothed in galen surrounds me,
Oh Frodo, I wish you were here.

Refrain

Oh blow ye the winds o'er the Ocean,
And blow ye the winds o'er the Sea.
Oh blow ye the winds o'er the Ocean,
And bring back my Frodo to me.

Refrain

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody,

Chorus: Is this the real life, is it just fantasy, caught in a legend...no escape from reality, ooopen your eyes, look up to the skiiiiiies and seeeeeeeeeeee.....

Frodo: I'm just a hooooobbit, I need a fellowship...

Gandalf: 'Cause it is easy come, easy go, little high, little low...

Sam: Anywhere the wind blows, doesn't really maaaaatter to me...toooo meeeeee...

Frodo: Gandaaaaalf, what should I do? This ring around my neck, will bring the world to wreeeck...

Gandalf: Frooodoooo, you must take the ring...and throoow it into Mount Doom on your own!!!!!!!

Frodo: Gandaaaalf, oooohooohooohoooo, I didn't mean to let you die, if im not back at Minas Tirith somehooooow, carry on, carry on, 'cause nothing really matters.

(piano plays)

Frodo: Too late, my time has come....sends shivvers down my spine my body's aching all the time....Gandaaaalf and my good sam, I've got to prove, that I can do this job that no-one coooooouuuuld! Gandaaaaalf! Ooohooohooohooo, I don't want to die, in fact I wish I'd never come here at aaaaaall....

(guitar plays)

Sam : I see a little sillhouette of a man!

Frodo: Scaramouche scaramouche, Sam I thing we're being followed! Nagul, fighting, Gollum's really frightening ME!

Sam: Faramir!

Frodo: Faramir!

Sam: Faramir let him gohooohoooohoooo!

Frodo: I'm just a hobbit, nobody loves me!

Sam: He's just a hobbit, get your greasy hands off him! Spare him his life from you monstrosity!

Frodo: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

Rangers: Of course not NO! we will not let you go!

Sam: Let him goooo!

Rangers: Of course not NO! We will not let him go!

Sam: Let him go!

Rangers: Of course not NO! We will not let him go!

Frodo: Let me go!

Rangers: Will not let you go!

Frodo: Let me go!

Rangers: Will not let you gooohooohooohoooo...
Frodo (in unison): You'll never ever ever ever let me gooooohoohooo...

Rangers: NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Frodo: Oh Faramir, Faramir!

Sam: Faramir let him go!

Frodo: The flaming eye has a nazgul set aside for meeeeeeee! for meeeeeee, for meeeeeeee!!

(guitar plays)

Gollum: So you think you can hurt me and hit my eyeeeees? So you think you can hit me and leave me to diiiiiiiie?

Frodo: Gollum, always faithful Gollum! I've got to get out, just got to get right out of Mordor!

(guitar plays)

Sam: Oooh yeah, oooh yeah.

Frodo: Nothing really matters...anyone can see...nothing really matters...nothing really matters, to meeeeeheeeeeeheeeeee....

[Lostgaeriel]

This is an old British war march, used as the theme song for the TV series Sharpe, starring Sean Bean. Traditional lyrics at The Richard Sharpe Fansite. Some history of the song at MilitaryMusic.com.

Over the Hills and Far Away

Chorus:
The Road goes ever on and on,
Upon it all my Friends have gone,
And where it leads no one can say,
Over the Hills and far away.

The troubling Dreams have come once more
To both true Sons of Denethor.
The Wise may know of what they say,
They’re o’er the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Over the Hills and o’er the Plain,
Ever seeking Isildur’s Bane.
The Stew’rd commands, and we’ll obey,
Over the Hills and far away.

Chorus

To serve a Stew’rd of hardened Mind,
One Soldier must go seek and find
Far Imladris, the Dream does say;
It’s o’er the Hills and far away;

Chorus

My Father can spare but one Son,
And cannot eas’ly choose which one.
Then let me volunteer I say,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

In Rivendell’s the Broken Sword;
To find it there - I give my Word -
And hear what Elrond has to say,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

The Sword’s still sharpe; I felt the thing.
But Gondor doesn’t need a King -
In the Wilds let this Ranger stray,
Over the Hills and far away;

This verse was, of course, the whole point of the exercise!

Chorus

Gondor’s been a stalwart Tower
Count’ring Sauron’s growing Power.
Our Citadel shall win the Day,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

The Council spoke; I disagree -
To use the Ring is Vict’ry’s key;
To put Sauron beneath our Sway,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

~

Galadriel—she searched my Mind—
My secret Desires there to find.
What she proffered I pushed away,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Upon the Lawn of Parth Galen,
Beneath the Feet of Amon Hen,
Poor Frodo must decide his Way,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

I came upon Frodo alone
I asked him for the Ring on loan;
I’d like to try it if I may,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

He argued with me; he refused.
He disappeared—the Ring he used.
To Sauron he would us betray,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Hark! Gondor’s Horn sounds once again;
In need is Boromir, my Friend.
I must go join him in the Fray,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Where’s that Fool of a Took, Pippin?
And young Merry, his dearest Friend?
The Orcs have taken them away,
Over the Hills and far away.

Chorus

Go save the People of Gondor!
I have failed; I can do no more.
Forgive me Strider; I now pay,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

He was alone and forc'd to fight,
And thus he earned true Honour by't;
He many Uruk-hai did slay,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

There is no Time for us to mourn;
Down Anduin he has been borne.
The Boat has vanished in the Spray,
Over the Falls and far away;

Chorus

Where have Sam and Frodo gone?
We must ensure the Quest goes on.
Sam’s Pans are gone—they’ve rowed away,
Soon o’er the Hills and far away;

Chorus

~

To please the Stew’rd I have a Chance;
The Ring-bearer’s within my Hands,
Trapped here beneath the Curtain Grey,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Over the Hills and o’er the Plain,
Ever seeking Isildur’s Bane.
The Stew’rd commands, and we’ll obey
Over the Hills and far away.

Chorus

I vowed I would not take this Thing
Before I knew it was the Ring—
Not if it lay by the Highway,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

O’er Anduin and o'er the Field,
Ithilien we will not yield.
Our Captain leads; with him we’ll stay,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

I hope that I have not done Ill?
Have you Courage for your lord’s Will?
Don’t rashly throw your Life away
Over the Hills and far away!

Chorus

O’er Anduin and o'er the Field,
Osgiliath we will not yield.
Our Captain leads; with him we’ll stay,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

The Sky is dark; I can’t see clear.
Oh where, oh where is Faramir?
He leads his Men from the Causeway,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

He suffers from a Southron Dart,
Fatigue, Black Breath and grieving Heart.
A Fever burns his Life away,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

~

Over the Hills and o'er the Plain,
That’s the Life of the Dúnedain* -
Lord Estel rules, and we'll obey,
Over the Hills and far away.

* Yes, I know it doesn’t rhyme.

Chorus

The Way was shut—the Time is now
For the Dead to fulfill their Vow.
To Gondor’s Aid we can’t delay
Under the Hills and far away;

Chorus

~

Through Drúadan and o'er the Field,
The Pelennor we will not yield.
Théoden leads; with him we’ll stay,
Over the Hills and far away.

Chorus

He is the King of the Ringwraiths;
From living Man he fears not Death.
Hinder me not; thee I will slay,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

The Mark’s Esquire he did ignore—
So stabbed by Blade of Númenor,
He stumbled forward and did sway,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Dernhelm the young faced greater harm;
His Mace had broken her Shield-arm.
Pierced by her Sword he fades away,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

~

Here rules a Stew’rd that’s lost his Mind;
The Palantír has made him blind.
As heathen Kings—he burns away—
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

When Shadows grow and all Lights pass
Life to the Dying—Athelas!
Upon their Brows the King’s Hands lay,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

For Love Men follow his Command;
A Sword and Healing in his Hand—
That’s how we’ll know the King, they say,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

The Ring has fallen in Mount Doom,
Ever banishing Sauron’s Gloom.
Praise the Ring-bearers! Hooray!
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

My Brother was a precious Jewel.
Sad he won’t see the King’s Renew’l.
As best of Brothers we did play,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

Over the Hills and o'er the Plain,
Through Gondor, Arnor and Rohan,
King Elfstone rules, and we'll obey,
Over the Hills and far away;

Chorus

[One of the Nine]

Ok, I don't have any song parodies, but I do have somethin' weird to share. Boromir's riddle (Seek for the Sword that was broken....) fits almost exactly to a song in my church's hymnal. It's really weird. My cousin and I figured it out.

[Bombadil]

Terrible Tonight

Its late in the evening,
he's wonderin' what mail to wear.
he picks out his weapon
and swings it right through the air
And then he asks me, "Do I look alright?"
And I say, "Yes, you look terrible tonight."

We go to the battle,
And everyone turns to see.
This horrible creature,
Who's riding on top of me
And then he asks me, "Is your back alright?"
And I say, "no, it feels terrible tonight."

And it's terrible
because I see the hate that's right in your eyes.
And the terror of it all is that,
You just don't realize,
How much they fear you.

It's time for goodbyes now.
It seems that I've lost my head
I watch you get stabbed twice
And hope that you aren't dead.
And then I tell you, as I pass into night.
I say, "Darling, you were terrible tonight."

sniff, everyone talks about how evil the Nazgul are- but they have feelings too!