(sp?): The Phantom Menace

[Estelyn Telcontar]

'nuff off-topic politics here - let's stick to our own issues!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Hear, hear (note spelling).

[Rimbaud]

Thank you for the heads-up, Vanima. In case any of you are sceptical as to my flaming trout throwing abilities I shall mention that if I see the offensive (sp?) again, I will also come to your house and burn it, with you inside. Not for nothing am I known as the Merciless Eater of Souls.

[Elenna]

And I'll bring my rabid squirrels!

[Bêthberry]

They're on to you, Rim.

He has some kind of problem with authoreties (how the ____ is that spelled? (kings and queens)),

A Commendation of their Qualities. Post Oct. 20, 10:28.

Bb [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

What I think these people need is some sort of a book, containing all of the words they're likely to use, ordered alphabetically and each one accompanied by a brief description of its meaning. Wouldn't that be a good idea? Then we wouldn't have to be unsure of our spelling ever again.

[Bêthberry]

Any drier and you would be a good martini, my dear Squatter.

Bethberry

[Rimbaud]

However, Squatter has always struck me as being stirred and not shaken.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I seldom rate myself higher than methylated spirits, but you're right, Rimbaud: it isn't the done thing to shake a good bottle of Meths. It kills the aroma and causes a fire hazard, I understand.

[Elenna]

Question for Squatter:

Olive or onion?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

With Meths or Martini, Elenna?

Actually I like neither, so they will both do equally badly.

[Childlike Empress]

I find "phiosiphy(sp?)" to be particularly egregious.

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Childlike Empress ]

[Elenna]

Amen. But once I saw Tolkiene(sp?). I fell off my stool in the school's computer lab, I was so shocked. For Heaven's sake, if you can't spell the man's name with some degree of accuracy, adding an (sp?) won't help. I admit, I've switched the e and the i a few times, but only through a typing mistake.

[Childlike Empress]

Furthermore, if they can't spell the name of the man to whom this site is created and maintained, what are they doing here?

[vanwalossien]

After hearing people saying things like "Oh, this thread is great fun" and so on and so forth for some time now, I finally checked it out, and it is fun! I love to complain about, and correct people's spelling

I find it more than a little embarrassing, not to mention surreal, when an English Downer proves to be worse at speaking English than, for example, a German or a Swede. Have these would-be dyslexics no shame?

True, entirely true. When I misspell something I usually discover it long before I post my reply, and I don't just add (sp)? after it. I'm Norwegian and only started learing English three, almost four, years ago! We were supposed to have English from fifth grade, but our teachers were so bad we didn't learn anything. And I'm often much better at spelling than English Downers. Me, a child of the SMS-generation.. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
As for the Bush discussion, I just want to tell you this: In Norway we have a brilliant cartoon called Nemi (look at my avatar). In one of the classic Nemi cartoons Nemi comments that she thinks Douglas Adams writes Bush's speeches. Anyone that have read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will know that that's meant as an insult... Not to Adams I mean, you might have noticed that I'm a big fan of him..

[ November 02, 2002: Message edited by: vanwalossien ]

[VanimaEdhel]

Do you know how many "(sp?)" signs I've seen in the past week? I decided not to post them all here...but I laughed every time and considered doing it!

[HerenIstarion]

a bit of fun close to the subject:

Spellcheck Man
Newly Deceased
Posts: 2
(7/13/01 12:51:07 pm)
Re: Technical difficulties?


Don’t worry, young Typo Girl – Spellcheck Man has compassion for all typing-challenged citizens. My true enemies are vile villains like The Abbreviator and Doctor Slang. These cretins ride roughshod over proper spelling conventions, willfully flout the rules of grammar, and do their best to propagate their noxious anti-style through every available medium of human communication. But their evil master plan has been marked by Spellcheck Man; yes, indeed, he has marked it well. His red pen is ready and he will use his fantastic powers of usage and his amazing comprehension of complex sentence structures to correct these fiends whenever and wherever he finds them!

Just call Spellcheck Man if you need assistance, Typo Girl! He’s always happy to help!

As a public service, Spellcheck Man will give you his “Tolkien Word of the Day”. Spellcheck Man thinks Professor Tolkien was a master of the English language – at least by normal human standards – and a good role model for all young citizens to imitate.

Spellcheck Man’s “Tolkien Word of the Day” is haggard, as in this sentence: “In their white faces burned keen and merciless eyes; under their mantles were long grey robes; upon their grey hairs were helms of silver; in their haggard hands were swords of steel.”

“Haggard” is used here as an adjective, and in this context it means “having a worn or emaciated appearance”. To learn more about alternate meanings and grammatical uses of Spellcheck Man’s “Tolkien Word of the Day”, follow one of his favorite links and look it up!

See there, Barrow Wight? Spellcheck Man even has an uncanny ability to stay on topic!

Remember what Spellcheck Man says: don’t let your friends or your peer group pressure you into using improper English or adopting lazy abbreviations into your own vocabulary! Always make sure your subjects and verbs agree! Remember to look both ways before you cross the street!


Edited by: Spellcheck Man at: 7/13/01 3:26:13 pm

==========================================

The Abbreviator
Newly Deceased
Posts: 2
(7/13/01 3:56:55 pm)
Re: Technical difficulties?


Pplz, dontcha listen to the seductious voice of da Spellcheck Man!
Da future is no longa what he's a-preachin. Da future is lies in da abbreviations. On da Net ya cant write nowels like da Spellshaker doez! Hes lyin just when he openuz his mouth, I tell ya. lyin, and foolish. Fer he dont even know his sourcez. He thinks all ya need is words and grammar and spellin. Fool! When ya lack da brainz to use it it is nuttin!
As a long-timey member of da Lugburz bunch, I know it betta:
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The word 'haggard', used at II, 315, implies how this happened. It was first used as a noun, to indicate a hawk caught when fully fledged; later it came to mean 'wild, untamed', and to be applied with special reference to a look in the eyes, 'afterwards to the injurious effect upon the countenance of privation, want of rest, fatigue, anxiety, terror or worry'. At this stage it was influenced by 'hag', an old word for witch, and implied also gaunt or fleshless. The Ringwraiths are fleshless and 'faded' from addiction, and privation, and from being caught by Sauron.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


See, fellaz? Da Spellchucka just wants to delude ya. I, on da other hand, am the friend of da people! I help ya! Make yer lifes easier w/ abbreviations, and I help ya w/ da meanin!

===========================================

Spellcheck Man
Newly Deceased
Posts: 4
(7/13/01 4:52:36 pm)
Re: Technical difficulties?


Zounds! Abbreviator, you've taken your ghastly disregard for aesthetics and style to new depths! I'm sorry you've had to witness this blight on your fair cyber-village, citizens of the Downs! But let this be a learning experience for us all! Abbreviations may save you a keystroke here and there -- but at what cost? The bill always comes due sooner or later, and you will have to pay it, with interest.

Don't let yourself end up like The Abbreviator! Compose each post with the loving care that you would use to write a letter to your mother on her birthday! Eat your greens! Use emoticons in moderation!
I'm Spellcheck Man!

[Susan Delgado]

*applause*

[HerenIstarion]

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU (European Union) rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "Euro English". In the first year,"s" will replace the soft "c"..

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less karakter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

Av a nis day!

[Lhunardawen]

That really made me laugh, HerenIstarion. At first I thought you were serious. Then again, maybe you are.

By the way, when I first saw the (sp?) thing, I didn't know what it meant. Being the biology-inclined lady that I am, I thought they meant "species"!

[Son of Númenor]

I am resurrecting this topic because I am appalled at some Barrow-downers' lack of interest in doing (admittedly impossible) things like capitalizing names and the first words of sentences, and ending sentences with punctuation instead of nothing. My hope is to get an edict sent down from on high: if not banning corruption of the simplest rules of writing, at least banning things like failing to capitalize the word "I". A first offense could incur a proverbial slap on the wrist; a second, a (literal) slap on the wrist with a flambéed herring; a third, a merciless trout-thrashing; and a fourth, permanent banishment from the Barrow-downs.

Does that sound too stringent for anyone?

[The Saucepan Man]

dont now wot strngiet (sp?) meens butt i fink u r veri krool

[Son of Númenor]

Saucepot (sp?), I'm seeing a new thread coming on: 101 Things Barrow-Downers Would Seemingly Never Post, But Which Have, In Fact, Been Posted.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Behold how the mighty Saucepan Man falls into incomprehensibility when his spell-checker breaks down.

That title's too long and cumbersome, Son of Númenor. I would suggest '100000001 most out-of-character posts', which is at once a paragon of concision and an acknowledgement of the lengths reached by those types of thread.

[Bêthberry]

I greatly fear, Squatter my dear, that the very ones Son wishes to cure would be innured by those very words, "Out of character." Whodda thunk it?: a more popular junket.

Saucepot, indeed! I think you are going to fit right in, Son of Númenor. But watch out for that Bêthburra character.

[HerenIstarion]

ez indikated ebav, in faiv irz it ol wud not meter

[HerenIstarion]

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

ceehiro

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

You forgot to put '(sp?)' at the end of that, Heren. How will people be able to tell now that you know that you might have made a mistake?

As that post demonstrates very effectively, it is possible to understand mis-spelled words, but only for experienced users of the language and only if one's words contain the right letters. Since poor spelling has been described as the Internet equivalent of bad breath, though, it's best to avoid it anyway. Brush your teeth, you Georgian delinquent!

[HerenIstarion]

Having no brush on me, I'm forced to stick to chewing gum, than. It's easy, what with gums being generally sticky anyway.

you Georgian delinquent

Now, do you intend to imply I am of beheaded king's party? It was not me, I was set up, never ever been near the place at all...



PS (sp)

[Mad Baggins]

For heaven's sake, I have people in my tenth-grade class that have the spelling/grammar abilities of sixth-graders. Literally. It frightens me and it makes me wonder if everyone but me has been taken over by brain-sucking extra-terrestrials with poor literary skills.

Getting back on topic now...

I don't like it when people use chatspeak on here. It bothers me. Greatly. Yes, I'll admit that I used to say "lol!" or whatever, but the people that bother me are the ones who say, "Ya i wuz liek noo frodo'z liek sooooo hott." Although I do remember this one time...

[Saraphim]

For heaven's sake, I have people in my tenth-grade class that have the spelling/grammar abilities of sixth-graders. Literally. It frightens me and it makes me wonder if everyone but me has been taken over by brain-sucking extra-terrestrials with poor literary skills.

I've been there, Mad Baggins. Many, many times. Too many times.

What has happened to the intellegence of humanity? Are there so few people in the world who can put a sentence together without butchering and shortening every word? I have become convinced that the only sane people are either on here, incapable of coming on here, or are not (although this is a stretch) interested in coming on here for very, very good reasons.

And the people on here who do participate in the heinous crime of word-butchery will either catch on or plague us with thier...*shudder*...antics.

[Niluial]

Another depressing thing is people no longer have an understanding of words. It worries me when I use simple words (such as optimistic, surreal, nobility etc) when talking to my fellow students and they then ask me to speak English. Surely even nine year olds should have an understanding of those simple words?

My step mom and I like to experiment a lot so we came up with this idea to read to my brothers and cousins this year and only let them watch half an hour of television a day. We have read great classics such as The Hobbit, Alice in Wonderland and Black Beauty to them and intend on reading more. Their English has improved immensely and they do not use as much slang as they used to. I can ask them the meanings of optimistic, surreal & nobility and they can tell me the meanings of these words in an instant. Please note that these are young four, five, seven and eight year olds I am talking about. This shows what television is doing to our knowledge of literature and spelling. Instead of increasing our knowledge of literature and spelling television is increasing our knowledge on slang. But should we be surprised?

Then Imladris pointed out another factor in her Xanga Blog the other day. For example people use the wonderful word ‘hate’ excessively when we really do not mean it. We use hate instead of dislike constantly. Is this human race too lazy to say dislike when it is only two more letters than hate? Of course I can not judge for I am a victim of using ‘hate’ excessively too (though I am trying to kick the habit).

[HerenIstarion]

This shows what television is doing to our knowledge of literature and spelling

Well, that is an ambiguous issue you are dealing with there, Niluial. In my own case, TV improved my knowledge of English. On the other hand, that may be because the only English channel I have is BBC World, and fellows down there are beaming optimism with their nobly surrealistic pronounciation and vocabulary! Even if they display a tendency to wear red ties with blue shirts, that is. But, seriously, what with my mainly reading practice of English, watching BBC does me good, for sure.

[Imladris]

Our society is becoming lazy, plain and simple. Instead of raising our standards, we have lowered them. Thus we have the problem of chat speech and the laziness of not checking our spelling problems.

As Rimbaud hinted in the first post, the BDs should raise the standard and

The next person to scribe (sp?) shall be destroyed by a barrage of flaming trout. This I vow.

[Saraphim]

Er... Perhaps I need a flaming trout of my own. My friend admonishes me for not using chat-speak while on instant messenger and thus slowing our conversation. He says I take the 'instant' out of it.

I say that if I allow myself a single 'lol' or shortened word, it will become habit, and this I cannot allow. He then goes away grumbling about my vocabulary.

Flaming trout are hard to come by in the desert. Perhaps a flaming lizard or pidgeon?

[Mad Baggins]

*gives Saraphim a flaming cactus*

Ah, I do that too. I abhor chat-speak, even in instant messenger conversations.

[Lhunardawen]

But chat-speak, when used in moderation and in appropriate situations, can be helpful. Personally, I find it weird when people send text messages (the ones sent by cellular phone) that contain ultra-long words that could have been simplified. Besides, it would be very helpful when one is in a hurry and needs to relay a message as soon as possible. Then chat-speak would be a great help, as long as the words are still decipherable.

However, meaning no offense to anyone, I suppose some Downers, especially when they are posting in a great hurry, tend to use chat-speak-- and inappropriately, since this is supposed to be a forum. Honestly, seeing words that have some letters inverted are annoying. Like "hte", for example. That brings me to a proposal that one should not post in haste, unless the person is willing to spend a little time to read through the post before clicking "Submit Reply". Or if the person has perfect typing skills...

[Rimbaud]

...and the cacti is not for burning. (Anyone? *sigh*)

This is freshly dug...

There was a certain purpose to this thread, which was not only to encourage some effort toward accuracy, but also to bolster the collective will of those who cherish the correct use of language; those who do not see the internet as the beginning of the end for efficient and eloquent linguistics, but another medium to which certain standards are equally as applicable.

With all due respect to my chosen weaponry of the first post (and numerous other helpful suggestions since), the best remedy for a carelessly spelt, punctuated or (sp)-ed post may be a quiet word in the ear of the culprit. Just so long as the word is 'Duck, Rimbaud's approaching and that fish seems warm.'

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

It could be clamour for SaucePan to correct their spellings!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I'll admit that this thread shamed me into becoming a more worthy Barrowdowner. But there are still so many of those (sp?)'s floating about.

The fame of this thread is obviously not as great as I had previously supposed, so I think it needs to be bumped (again).